Walking the Line
by abigryff11
Summary: "I hope you realize that type of idiocy is not going to work on me, Black." "Oh, is there another type of idiocy you prefer?" For the first time in sixteen years of life, Lily Evans realized her answer was /yes/ and her preferred type of idiocy happened to have lopsided glasses and a crooked smile to match.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! A lot of dialogue, a lot of introductions. But it's the first chapter, so I feel that necessary "world building" must occur. Enjoy :)**

 ****Disclaimer: JKR. Not me. *sigh***

...

A cold front blew through Diagon Alley two days prior to the beginning of the second term, providing an obnoxious icing of the village and a seemingly universal, foul mood as wizards and witches bustled about in their stuffiest of robes, hoping to garner some warmth.

Lily Evans considered the irrationality of robes from her perch at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. As enamored as she had become with the magical world she called her home, she never quite understood the fashion choices. Wizarding robes were intruding on daily life and did very little as far as comfort on blistering days like today.

The sixth-year Gryffindor chose a more practical—albeit muggle—ensemble of trousers, boots, several layers of blouse and a heavy overcoat. A mustard yellow toboggan matched the mittens that her mum had given her only a few days ago on Christmas.

Even so, always a lover of irony, the sixth-year Gryffindor chose to spend one of her last hours of holiday enjoying a frozen, raspberry sundae.

"Honestly, Lily, did we have to come to Fortescue's when it's below zero?" a new voice interrupted Lily's people-watching. "The Leaky Cauldron is right up the way." Mary McDonald huffed dramatically, pushing her windblown, golden curls away from her face and wrapping her robe—Lily smirked—tighter around her willowy body.

"I don't know why you're surprised that our residential individualist wants to eat ice cream in a blizzard," a second newcomer contributed. Lagoon blue eyes looked to Lily with humor, crinkling at the corners and betraying her faux irritation. Anna Brodeur was shorter than both of her mates, with a petite, yet athletic build. This, paired with her freckles, consistently made her appear as though she had just spent a considerable amount of time playing Quidditch in the sun—which with Anna, was usually a fair bet. "Probably her newest attempt to off us."

"I missed you, too, girls." Lily jumped up to hug her friends. "So," she began as the witches took a seat, "how many boys did we snog?"

Anna snorted, not unattractively. "I like how you use the pronoun _we_ as if our lip locking is a collective action."

"It's vicarious."

"Yeah, yeah," Mary waved her off with an eye roll. "I'm still tragically single and my lips are miserably untouched, but…"

" _But?_ "

" _But…_ little Anna here was telling me about a bloke-of-interest on our way over here."

The copper-haired girl in question immediately sqeaked, defensively. " _Oi!_ Let me share my own dirt!"

"You weren't talking fast enough."

"You two weren't allowing me room to talk!"

" _Anna,"_ Lily interrupted, in exasperation. "Bloke-of-interest."

"Right." Anna blinked to focus before a small smile formed on her lips. "Well, it's nothing serious, of course, but we met at that bakery in Hampshire that my mum and I always go to. She's been busy with Matthew, though, you see," Mrs. Brodeur had recently had a new—and quite unplanned—baby, "He just cries so much and he's always hungry, I swear, and sometimes it's enough to drive one positively mad! I try to be a help around the house, of course, but sometimes one just needs a break and so—"

"Anna," this time it was Mary doing the interrupting. "Bloke. Of. Interest."

Anna grinned, sheepishly, before taking a deep breath and launching back into her story. "And so I was mostly on my own when I would leave the house these past couple weeks. Well, I started to go to the bakery every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning and immediately noticed this cute bloke who sat in the same seat every time I was there that first week. As I waited for mum's croissant on day three, we started to chat, and then on day four, I sat with him for a couple hours, and on day five, he bought my breakfast. After that, it all happened rather quickly, honestly. My quick morning bakery trips turned into several hour affairs. He's attending uni right now—"

Lily's wispy eyebrows shot up. "A _muggle_?"

Immediately, Anna's eyes flashed. "Just because he is a _muggle_ doesn't mean we shouldn't have the chance to—"

"Anna. I'm muggle-born. Mum—muggle. Dad—muggle."

Another sheepish grin. "Oh…right. Sorry. Mum and I had a tiff about it last night so I suppose I'm just defensive." She smiled apologetically. "Anyway, nothing serious has happened, and I'm not sure if it will, what with school starting back up. But, either way, it was a nice winter fling."

"Winter fling." Mary chewed on the words as if she needed to try them out herself. "You _would_ land a perfectly decent bloke and then chalk it all up to a fling."

"I'm not _chalking it up_ , Mary." Anna scowled at the brunette. "I just don't see how I can carry on a courtship with a boy across the country who doesn't even have access to an owl."

"I think he sounds wonderful, Anna," Lily threw in with an encouraging smile. "You know that we'll support you no matter what you decide to do."

"Winter fling," Mary repeated with distaste.

Lily kicked her under the table.

…

"Have you heard about Sirius?" Mary mused an hour later as the three girls wandered down the alley, arms looped together.

"Black? What about him?" Lily hummed.

"He officially moved out of the Potter's. Has a place of his own now, apparently."

Anna sniffed in disdain. "Pays to be filthy rich, I suppose. 'Heard his uncle left him an inheritance."

"No, I don't think it was because he has the means," Mary said, thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure James kicked him out."

"Potter? Kick Sirius Black out of anything short of the bed he's shagging a girl in?" Lily snorted in disgust. "Not likely."

"Don't you remember how they were the week before hols, though? Something happened with them and they're not mates anymore."

"That can't be true." Lily said, drily.

"Why's that?"

"Didn't you read the Prophet this morning?"

"What? Yes?" Mary's nose scrunched in confusion.

"See any headlines about the end of the world being today?" Lily asked, with raised eyebrows and a smirk. "No, Black and Potter are most _definitely_ still mates."

…

"What happened?"

"No." Not now.

"What _happened_?"

" _No._ " Not ever.

"James Fleamont Potter, you will tell me exactly what transpired between you and that best mate of yours this instant or, so-help-me-Merlin, I will Veritaserum you."

James Potter rolled his cognac eyes. "Because that's a legal and morally upstanding parenting technique."

"I don't have to be legal _or_ morally upstanding. I just received a letter from my son telling me he's bought a flat and _oh, would it be alright if he drops by to grab his last trunk tomorrow evening_? Since when does Sirius Black ask me before he does _anything_ and since when does Sirius Black have a use for _his own flat_?!"

James stared ahead, darkly. "He's not your son."

"He's as good as!" Euphemia Potter shouted in frustration, her voice echoing among the hollow, tall walls of the normally cheerful Potter Manor. "Who else has he got?"

"Apparently, he's _fine_ without us, Mum, so if we could just drop it…"

"I will certainly not just drop it, young man. You two have been fighting for weeks and I held my tongue—"

James scoffed in protest. "No, you didn't—you practically had an intervention every morning at breakfast!"

"Well, I _tried_ to hold my tongue, but this is too far. Whatever it is that you two are fighting about just needs to be talked about and worked out. Nothing is worth losing your best mate, James. I know that whatever it was may seem like a big deal, but I assure you, dear, that in a few years…in a few months even…you will not even remember—"

"You don't understand the situation, Mum. I have to go."

"Do _not_ walk away from me, James Potter. I am…" But he didn't hear. Within three long strides he was out of the parlour and on the staircase, storming toward his room.

She didn't understand. She would never understand.

As he fell backwards onto his bed, he allowed rationality to seep through his anger. It wasn't his mum's fault. He knew that, he did. How could she understand when he wouldn't explain the situation?

But he couldn't explain the situation. Not now, not ever.

James Potter loved his mum with all of his heart, and he knew she loved him, too, but he didn't put parental homicide past her if she were to discover that he was an illegal animagus who traipsed around Hogwarts and Hogsmeade with a werewolf once a month. He just wasn't ready to have _that_ conversation.

Especially not after Sirius…

Not now, not ever.

...

"Dumbledore is getting soft." Mary remarked, off-handedly, as the students exited the Great Hall.

One of Lily's eyebrows quirked. "How do you figure?"

"Only two dragons are being brought in for the seventh year Magical Creatures practical this year?" Mary emphasized. "Soft."

Lily began to giggle before she was hit from behind with a strong force, propelling her sling bag off her shoulder and allowing all of the books to be thrown to the floor. "HEY!" she called in frustration, as a blur of dark hair and teenage angst whipped past her. "Black! Watch where you're walking!" He didn't turn around.

Lily sighed in frustration, kneeling down, along with Mary to gather her books again. "We've been back for two hours. He can't possibly have already set something on fire."

"Bold of you to assume it was some _thing_ and not some _one._ "

Lily snorted, accepting the last book from Mary and standing, shoving the tome into her bag once more. "The rest of his cronies aren't in earshot, so I suppose it was a solo mission," she brushed off her skirt and rubbed at her mildly throbbing shoulder. "He could have at least apologized. _Merlin._ "

"That'll teach you not to bring books to the _welcome feast_ , yeah, Evans?"

"Carry my bag, you prat. I'm _injured._ "

…

"No way."

"Prongs…"

" _Don't call me that._ "

"J-James, I just—"

"Get out."

Remus Lupin, one of the other sixth years standing in the dorm stepped forward and spoke softly. "Mate…where's he supposed to go?"

James turned on him, sharply. "That's not my problem." Remus cast his eyes down and stepped back in resignation.

"James, I'm s—"

"GET OUT!" The bespectacled boy whipped his wand out and held it at length toward his friend.

Sirius looked in surprise at the wand a few mere inches from his face and his aristocratically grey eyes turned dark. It was difficult to determine the irises from the pupils. He opened his mouth as if to say something else and then quickly thought better of it and turned around, billowing out of the dormitory.

Remus sighed as James whipped around toward his friend, still brandishing his wand. "Who's side are you on, anyway, Moony?!"

The sandy-haired boy's eyes widened. "Yours, of course. I don't want him in here either! Not after he…" the werewolf trailed off. "But there's no where for him to go. I'm being practical."

James blinked, realizing his wand was still out and pointed at his mate. He pocketed it, quickly, shaking his head. "I know, Moony." James took a deep breath, sitting onto his bed. "It's not our job to look after him anymore, though. Pad—Sirius…can take care of himself. And if he doesn't…well…that's not our problem."

Remus nodded, sadly. Peter Pettigrew, the fourth roommate, moved from his spectator spot in the corner of the room toward his own bed to sit on it.

"Now," James cleared his throat, a trademark grin materializing. "Who's got the fire whiskey?"

…

"I thought I incendioed that before we left for hols." Anna remarked, glumly, to one of the other sixth-year Gryffindor girls, Marlene McKinnon. Marlene was holding a photo of Anna in the air, suspiciously. The moving picture showed Anna clinging onto the back of a muscular boy, one arm wrapped around his neck while the other held up her broom in a sort of victory stance. Both were wearing billowing Quidditch robes, but the wizard's were dark blue while Anna's were the signature Gryffindor scarlet.

"You _sure_ you weren't saving it for…sentimental purposes?" Marlene, a witch with chocolate hair thrown into a messy plait, asked, innocently.

"What part of I-caught-him-snogging-Holliday-Carpenter-in-front-of-me-and-he-told-me-it-was-Barry-Lorenzo-on-Polyjuice-Potion would give me cause for _sentimentality_ , Marlene?"

"Okay, fair point. He was a git."

"Rule sixteen!" Lily chipped in from across the dormitory, as she fell back on her own bed and popped a jelly slug into her mouth.

"Don't date Ravenclaws?" Marlene recalled.

"Nope," Anna threw in. "That's nineteen. Eighteen is 'don't date _Quidditch players._ '"

"Don't both rules apply here?"

Anna thought for a moment before giggling. "Huh, guess so. I really know how to pick 'em." She sat down on her own bed. "Oi, Lily! Jelly Slug me." Lily launched a candy across the room and Anna caught it easily, smiling triumphantly.

The bathroom door opened to reveal Mary, freshly showered and already donning her nightclothes. "Shower's open!"

"Anna, you go ahead. I'll go last," Lily said.

"Sure?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna read a bit before lights go out anyway."

"Don't have to ask me twice. Don't say anything juicy while I'm gone!" The petite girl grabbed a towel from her trunk and whisked into the bathroom.

"Where's Olivia?" Marlene questioned. "I didn't see her at the feast."

"Now that you mention it, I didn't see her on the train, either…"

Mary scrunched her face in disgust. "I'm sure she was just attached at the lips to her boy toy."

"Luke Wilder?" Lily prompted. "He's not a bad bloke."

"Eh."

Marlene smirked. "You're just mad he didn't partner with you for that Transfiguration project last term."

"Yes, because it was the _Transfiguration project_ that she felt rejected in," Lily sneered.

"Shut up, you lot," Mary scowled. "I'm knackered. All right if I turn the lights out?"

"You're just avoiding conversation," Marlene pointed out. "And besides, Lily wanted to read."

"Nah, it's all right, really," Lily said, rising from her bed and rolling her half-eaten bag of jelly slugs. "It's way past lights out anyway. I'll go to the Common Room to get a few chapters in."

"Oh, sorry, Lily, I didn't mean to put you out. We can leave—"

"It's fine, really," the redhead smiled, reassuringly. She grabbed her worn copy of _Great Expectations_ and headed for the door.

"Don't tell me you're reading Charles Kickens _again._ "

"It's Dickens—"

"Kinky," Marlene cackled.

Lily ignored her vile roommate. "And I will be reading Great Expectations until the day I die." She huffed, importantly. "Night, ladies."

"G'night, Lily."

"Night, Lil."

…

Lily never did get a chance to dive into her Dickens that night.

As she descended the girls' dormitory staircase into the common room, she was alarmed to find that she was not alone. The couch that she fully intended to enjoy for an hour was preoccupied.

With his body parts uncomfortably retracted in toward his torso, curly hair splayed out in chunks, frown on his unconscious face, was a sleeping Sirius Black.

Lily's curiosity _almost_ beat out her aggravation, but not quite. She rarely interacted with Sirius when he was awake…why would she bother with him in slumber?

Even so, she couldn't help but wonder what made the bloke fall asleep on the common room couch before midnight. Why had none of his blokes retrieved him? Why was he in pajama trousers as though he had intended to sleep there all along?

There were no books nearby to suggest that Sirius had fell asleep studying…and after all, it was only the first day back…and _after all_ , it was Sirius Black in question.

It truly appeared as though the dark-haired boy had slept on the sofa on _purpose_.

With a yawn, Lily realized that although she harbored little affection for the boy, she wasn't cruel enough to rouse him from his obvious deep sleep. And besides, she _did_ have classes starting back up the next morning. Lily looked at her novel longingly before dropping it to her side and retreating back to the dorm. Her hobby of after-hours reading could always be resumed the next evening. In five and a half years of school, Lily had never been interrupted during her late-night reading sprees.

 _What were the chances of it happening two nights in a row?_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just some housekeeping for exposition purposes...this is spring of sixth-year. So like second semester/term! That's why it's cold. Also, bonus points if you caught that OOTP reference in the last chapter where Euphemia talking about Sirius becomes Molly talking about Harry. :)**

 ****Disclaimer: Not mine. *sigh* But thanks Jo for letting me borrow your wonderful world.**

...

"I'll just…er…" Remus shifted awkwardly in between the aisle of desks in the Transfiguration classroom.

"Sit with Pete, Moony," James said. "I'm fine by myself."

"No way, Prongs," Peter countered. "Remus should sit by you. I've been sitting by him for—"

"Wormtail, I'm _fine,"_ James hissed, hoping the students in the vicinity, and specifically hoping a certain long-haired, grey-eyed student sitting across the room, were not noticing the commotion. "It's just a seat. I don't—"

"Mr. Lupin," a voice from the back of the class called. "If it wouldn't be a great inconvenience, I would rather prefer you choose a seat as opposed to straddling about the aisle, prohibiting anyone from walking about the classroom in a normal fashion."

"Sorry, Professor," Mr. Lupin murmured, bowing his head in submission. He shot an apologetic look at James—who casually waved it off—before taking the vacant seat by Peter.

"Very good," Professor McGonagall made her way to the front of the class and began to shuffle a pile of parchment on her desk, before addressing the students. "Good morning, class." An unenthusiastic response ensued. "Welcome back. I trust your breaks were restful and productive."

James suddenly became very aware of the vacancy next to him. In six years, he had never once sat through a lesson alone. In fact, he had never once sat with anyone other than Sirius. It felt strange to be starting the spring term with an empty desk, knowing that the boy who had always filled it in the past was sitting across the room—also with an empty desk.

"I have no doubt that you were each faithful to complete the assigned reading on elemental transformations." A few snorts and whispers could be heard. "Purely for the sake of demonstrating your proficiency, I request that each of you produce eight inches of parchment on your findings." The murmurs escalated into groans and sighs. McGonagall raised her voice to be heard, "As soon as you are completed with the assignment, you may quietly converse with those around you. Lessons with new material will begin tomorrow, but I'm afraid that I am occupied with a task that I must devote my time to before I can lecture." She returned to the seat behind her desk. "You may begin." With that, she pulled out her own quill and began to pour over the parchments in front of her.

There was a general rustling around the classroom as students continued to complain and pull out quills and parchment. James glanced about the room before landing on Sirius. The longer-haired boy was digging about in his booksack with a look of concentration and frustration on his face. He ventrally emerged with a parchment but no quill. James watched him tap his fingers on his desk in thought for a bit before looking around helplessly. With a sigh, Sirius leaned forward to tap the back of McCall Simmons, one of the sixth-year Gryffindor girls. A few words were exchanged before she handed him a quill with a small smile.

James felt a short stab somewhere in his stomach. Six years of attendance at this school and Sirius Black still couldn't manage to come to class prepared. In all those years, though, it had always been James who filled the gaps. It was James's quills that he borrowed and James's notes he copied off of. James would cover for him being late to class and distract teachers while he flirted with the girl sitting behind them.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall's voice snapped his gaze away from his former best mate. _Merlin,_ she was right in bloody front of him. "Do you have a personal qualm with the assignment?"

James blinked. "Uh…what was that?"

"Eight inches," McGonagall huffed in irritation. "Elemental transfiguration. Time is ticking."

"Er…right, Professor."

The Transfiguration professor looked at James curiously before moving back to her own desk at the front of the room. The sixth-year took a last look towards the corner of the room only to meet penetrating grey-eyes. Both of the boys froze for a moment before the hazel pair hardened and turned away.

…

"It's strange, isn't it?"

"What's strange?" Mary looked up from her parchment, lazily.

Lily's gaze was locked on the boys across the room. "The Marauders."

"I'm sorry, but can I please have my Lily back?"

The redhead blinked before turning to look at her friend. "What?"

"Did you actually just call them the _Marauders_?" Mary looked at her, pointedly.

"Well, that's what they call themselves, isn't it?"

"Yes, but _you_ don't call them that. Lily Evans is _far_ too good for that." she said, importantly.

Lily shoved the shoulder of her friend, scowling. "I just think it's interesting that Black isn't with the group is all."

"I told you—they're on the outs."

"What does that mean, though?"

"I don't know—I'm sure it wasn't a big deal. Give it a week and I'm positive the band will be back together." She pushed a honey-coloured curl out of her face before picking her quill up and turning back to her parchment. "Why do you care anyway? Less camaraderie means less flooded corridors. It's a dream come true for _Lovely Lily._ "

The girl in question shifted uncomfortably. "Don't call me that. It's bad enough when it's just Slughorn," she squirmed, ignoring the snort from her friend. She shifted her green eyes back to the Gryffindor boys. "And I don't care. I'm just wondering what could have been so bad to separate them…"

"Well, stop wondering and start writing. We both know I sure as hell didn't do the readings and I can't cheat off of you if you don't write anything."

…

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall placed the offered parchment on the edge of her desk. "You may return to your desk and idle quietly with those around you who are finished."

James nodded before heading back to his seat. He plopped down at the desk and noticed that Remus and Peter had already finished and were working on the Charms assignment Flitwick had assigned them over break. He sighed, both because he had already completed that…and didn't want to look like a prat by admitting it.

He glanced behind him to see that the two girls seated there were still working on their essays and, by the looks of their blank parchments, would likely be working all period.

Normally, James would have been _ecstatic_ about a period with practically _ordained_ skivving off. In this moment, however, he was having a rather difficult time finding something to do.

He reached for his booksack, finding his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair and opened it up. Recreational reading of a _textbook_. What a sad reality spring term was bringing with it.

"Twenty more minutes," McGonagall's voice rang out several moments later. "If you are still staring at a blank parchment at this point, I believe it is safe to assume that nothing will materialize and you should go ahead and bring forth your excuses."

 _Twenty minutes?_ Hadn't this class already been in session for _hours_?

With a huff of frustration, James closed his book and looked over at Remus and Peter. Still doing homework. Girls behind him? Still pouring over blank parchments.

He shifted his eyes back across the room toward Sirius. The sixth-year was asleep on his desk. A single black wave moving every few seconds as his breath caught the hair and blew it outward.

A twinge of—guilt? remorse? sadness? pity?—something pricked at James. He played over the conversation in the boys' dormitory from the night before.

 _"_ _Get. Out."_

 _"_ _That's not my problem."_

 _"…_ _Pad—Sirius…can take care of himself…"_

He shook his head to clear the reverberating conversation. That wasn't going to change the situation. Sirius _deserved_ what he got. Blinking a few times, he resumed his scan of the room before meeting another pair of eyes—these far more lovely.

With a start, James realized Lily Evans was looking right back at him. For the first time in almost six years, James had caught _her_ staring at _him._ Ever the object of his infatuation, Lily Evans held a special sort of magic over the Gryffindor boy. Once upon a time, James had prided himself on his ability to unashamedly flirt with her and dramatically flatter in public displays. Much to his chagrin, however, he had been off his game all school year. His normal swagger had been blasted to awkward stammering and lame attempts at conversation.

Needless to say, this—Lily getting caught staring at James—was an unfamiliar scenario. Even more peculiar was the fact that she didn't seem to be in a hurry to look away. She simply stared at James with an intense curiosity as if she were trying to practice occlumency.

He raised his eyebrows in question before she shook her head and turned back toward Mary MacDonald.

…

 _"_ _Black?"_

The boy in question looked up from the sofa, obviously startled to see he was not alone. "Evans! All right?"

"Yes," Lily said, cautiously, quickly realizing this was one of the first one-on-one conversations she had held with Sirius Black in her five and a half years of schooling and she didn't know how to navigate it at all. "What are you…that is—what are you doing?"

"Are you trying to flirt with me, Evans?" Sirius smirked, but it lacked its usual mirth.

"Sirius."

"Lily."

"Why are you here?"

"Well, you see, Evans," Sirius began, "I live here. Have for almost six years now. Thinking of making a seven year streak of it…thoughts?"

Lily frowned. "Don't be an idiot."

"Does Prongs know you're this bad at flirting?" Sirius plopped back onto the couch, picking up a book he had evidently set on the small table.

"I'm not _flirting_ ," Lily practically whined before noticing his smirk and realizing she had walked right into his game. "Stop pretending like you actually know how to read, Black. It's after curfew and this is the second night in a row that you've slept in the common room."

He closed the book, but refused to make eye contact with the redhead. "Is there a rule about being in the common room after curfew?"

"Well, no…" Lily began, "but I just—"

"Well then, Prefect Evans, I think I'm fully qualified to be here."

Lily huffed in frustration, before taking a breath and re-centering herself. The witch scanned the scarlet room for any other lingering Gryffindors, but discovered no company aside from Sirius and the already snoring portraits of former house legends.

"Sirius. Why are you sleeping on the couch for the second night in a row?"

Something shifted on the boy's face. "Last night, I just sort of conked out. Long day with all of the traveling, y'know?" He quickly searched Lily's face for understanding or acceptance. "And I was actually about to go up to bed just now. I was just enjoying some alone time." He rolled his eyes a bit too theatrically…even for Sirius. "You ruined _that_ plan."

Lily eyed the wizard, cautiously. "Okay, well, I was just about to read for a bit down here. So why don't you go on up to the dorm?" She stood with her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised in expectation.

Sirius's nose twitched as his eyes quickly shifted from the boys' staircase and the portrait hole. "Actually," he began, hopping up, "I think I'll go to the kitchens."

"Curfew, Black," Lily reminded him, now tapping her foot impatiently.

He scratched the back of his neck, nervously. "No chance you'd look the other way while I slip out the portrait?" He winked, sans his usual charm.

"Go to bed, Black."

The dark-haired wizard sighed in defeat before sitting back on the couch. "Can't, Evans." He leaned back, closing his eyes, rubbing at his forehead.

Lily gingerly sat next to him. "What do you mean, you…can't…?"

Sirius opened one eye to inspect Lily before snorting. "The lads and I had a bit of a falling out."

"Define _little bit_ …" she pressed.

"James kicked me out of his house over holidays and I'm no longer allowed to stay in the dorm."

" _What?_ " Lily scoffed. "That's ridiculous. They can't just…kick you out."

"Tell your boyfriend that," he spat, bitterly—Lily tried to ignore the title had unceremoniously thrown onto James. "He's made a real habit of ripping away my residences over the past few weeks."

"What happened?"

"I couldn't explain it if I wanted to," he opened an eye again to glance condescendingly at Lily. "And, sorry, love, but I don't."

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Well, it must have been something pretty major…"

"I honestly don't see how it's any of your business, Evans."

"I honestly don't see how you're insulting the only Gryffindor who is willing to talk to you, Black."

Sirius smirked. "Touche."

"I've lived in a box for six years with the same five girls and we still have less drama than you lot."

This time, a bark of laughter surfaced. "You're not wrong, Evans…you're not wrong." He reached his arms above his head as he extended his legs and yawned. "Look, Ginge, you're welcome to stay and read your fairytale, but I'm hitting the bay. I don't feel like having a counseling session with you at the mo'."

"Hay."

"What?" he paused his stretching to quirk an eyebrow.

"The idiom," she responded, matter-of-factly. "It's hitting the _hay._ The colloquial expression is—"

He held a hand up to stop her, although the corners of his lips twitched with potential. Hitting the sofa cushion a couple of times, he rolled over, slurring out, "G'night, Ginge."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Getting more into the meat of things here! Lots of Lily and Sirius. I can see how reading through their interactions in this chapter and honestly a good deal of the future chapters I have set up may seem like I am leading them to a romantic deal, but I assure you I am not messing with canon on this. I just feel that Lily is a complex character who has to have something bring her from Point Arrogant Bullying Toerag to Point Marriage. I believe Sirius was too close with James not to have gone deep with Lily as well. That's really what I'm exploring here. And what role Sirius played in developing the Jily we know and love. So just bear with me. James/Lily** ** _is_** **coming! Just not quite yet. :)**

 ****Disclaimer: All rights belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just a partaker in the magic.**

...

Olivia Magnus had practically cartwheeled onto the stool when she got sorted on September 1st of her first year at Hogwarts. Living the first eleven years of her life enraptured by the books her primary school teacher of a mother would read to her about far-off places and magical adventures, the discovery that Hogwarts was real and that she _belonged there_ was like Christmas.

Affectionately known as Olive to her friends—which was quite an exhaustive list—, the Gryffindor girl danced through Hogwarts, making average marks and mostly staying out of trouble. She was proud of her house and made friends with remarkable ease.

She was the type of girl who knew everyone's name, but you would never be able to associate her as having a specific "group" or "best friend." Simplistic and sweet, Olive was the epitome of a "happy girl." On the last day of the fall term, she hugged her dormmates, kissed her boyfriend, and said "see you soon" to her friends. Olivia Magnus showed absolutely no signs of not returning to Hogwarts.

"It's been two days," Marlene said, suspiciously, walking into the dorm and nodding toward the perfectly made—and still unoccupied—bed in the corner.

Mary nodded. "Her trunk isn't even up."

"Have you heard anything, Lily?" Marlene took her scarf off and threw it over the mahogany plank of her bed. "I thought maybe McGonagall told you, as a prefect?"

Lily shrugged as she entered the room. "No, I don't know anything. She could just be in the hospital wing."

"McCall and I checked yesterday," Marlene responded, shaking her head. "Pomfrey was bragging about the fact that this was the first 48 hour period she has ever been invalid-free."

"Well, did anyone talk to her over hols?"

"She spent the break with her family in France, remember?" Mary said, thoughtfully, sitting next to Marlene on her bed.

The other girls nodded, vividly recalling the excitement with which Olive had bounced into the dorm the last morning of the fall term. Her Muggle father had been asked to speak at a conference in Paris regarding his contributions of medical research and the family had decided to make a vacation out of it. The witch had given her dorm mates a play-by-play of her family's plans for the month, sparing no details.

"I didn't think much of it when we first arrived, or even yesterday," Mary continued, "but there's something new in the Prophet every day and it just seems like…well—I'm just paranoid, I suppose."

Lily sighed before walking over to the other two girls and squeezing onto the bed. "Me, too," she pulled her own scarf off and went about folding it in her lap. "Things are picking up out there." She stroked the scarlet tassels. "Less threats, more…action…"

"New wizards and witches are released as dead every day and I just can't help but—"

Marlene stood up from the bed and walked toward the shared vanity. "Could we please talk about something else?" She stared at her reflection in the mirror, frowning deeply. "We've barely been back for two days and we're talking about death and dying." She scrunched her nose up, assimilating the sentiments to a vomit-flavoured Bertie Bott's. "You are being far too negative."

Lily frowned. "Negative? Marlene, this is _real._ People are dy—"

"Please don't say that," Marlene winced. "It's all anyone talks about these days." She pulled her coarse, chocolate hair over her shoulder and began to braid it. "We're sixteen. We shouldn't have to think about such things."

Lily stood up and walked toward Marlene. "You're absolutely right, Marls. We shouldn't have to…but we _do._ You-Know-Who is _out there_ and we can't just live in ignorance. That's not helping anyone."

"Well, why do we have to worry about helping people?" Marlene blurted. She blushed as she caught the sharp glances of Lily and Mary. "I just…that is…why can't we just worry about ourselves?"

The redhead's face reddened a bit. "Marlene," she began, with a slight edge. "I'm muggle-born. I have to worry about helping people in order to help myself. If someone doesn't stop You-Know-Who, witches like me will die."

Marlene stopped for a moment, chewing on the words before forcing a small smile and looking to Lily. "Of course," she conceded, with effort. "You're absolutely right. It's silly of me to be so selfish." She finished her braid and paused for a moment, before cheerily appealing, "Either of you have a hair tie?"

Mary shot a concerned glance at Lily, but the redhead shook her head, subtly. Some discussions were better left for another time. Producing a bright smile, she stretched the black scrunchie off her own wrist. "Gotcha covered, Marls."

…

"Pass the juice, mate."

Beat.

"Prongs. The pumpkin juice?"

James looked up from his plate in surprise. "What?"

Remus sighed and reached across the table, grabbing the pitcher of pumpkin juice and shoving it toward Peter. "There."

"Thanks," the smaller boy said, eyes still warily on the Quidditch captain.

"James," Remus began, leaning across the table in a lowered voice. "You've gotta snap out of it, mate."

The bespectacled boy's face scrunched up. "I'm fine." Remus raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly toward James's full plate. "Just not…hungry, I guess."

"You didn't even _show up_ for breakfast. You need to eat, James," the werewolf said, softly.

"Yes, _Mum,_ " James's eyes narrowed, obediently shoveling a bite of potatoes into his mouth. "Don't worry, Moony, I'm eating all my vitamins and getting my daily nutrients." His tone was laced with harsh sarcasm.

Peter's eyes flickered nervously between his two friends.

Remus leaned even closer to James. "Don't project your _Sirius_ anger onto _me_ , James," he hissed in a dangerously low voice. "I'm only trying to be helpful."

"Yes, Remus, we all know how wonderfully blessed we are to have you as our friend," James spat. "Thank you ever so much for your self-sacrifice in spending time with the likes of me when you could be out _helping and changing the bloody world._ "

Peter's eyes widened. "Prongs…"

James turned viciously toward the blonde boy. "You want to be a part of this, Peter?" he snapped. "Go ahead and enunciate, Wormtail. Make your voice heard! Merlin knows I want to bear witness to the first time you manage to voice an opinion that isn't _someone else's_."

Wormtail blinked as if he'd been slapped before turning back to his food.

Remus, on the other hand, slammed his hand on the table, and stood up. "If you're trying to isolate yourself from all of your friends, you're doing a bloody great job." Refastening his cloak and straightening his tie, he added, "Find me when you're not acting like an arse, Potter," before storming out the Great Hall.

James watched him leave the table, suddenly feeling the weight of his own insults and seeing his folly. Remus didn't deserve to become James's punching bag. He immediately became conscious of the dramatics that had just ensued and felt a mix of shame and humiliation. Quickly scanning the table to see if anyone else had overheard, he—once again—caught the intense gaze of Lily Evans.

This time, she quickly looked away.

…

Lily pulled at her hair, nervously, occasionally glancing at the quiet boy next to her. He hadn't spoken for the entire prefect round, except to say, "hullo, Lily." While Remus Lupin had never been particularly loquacious, he had always gotten along rather well with Lily and his lack of conversation was abnormal. Lily couldn't help but believe it was connected to the debacle she had witnessed in the Great Hall at lunch.

"How did you do on the Charms assignment?" Lily blurted.

Remus looked out the corner of his eyes at the redhead, appearing to analyze her. "All right, I suppose," the prefect said, cautiously. "He hasn't given us our marks yet."

Lily bit her lip, nodding. "Oh. Right."

They walked a few more moments in silence.

"What about Transfiguration?"

This time, Remus did less to conceal his confusion. "The assignment? All right on that one, too, I guess."

"No," Lily shook her head, fervently. "No, I meant, the seating arrangement."

"The seating arrangement…"

"Yes, I saw that you were sitting with Peter and Potter was—"

Lily stopped talking as she noticed her fellow prefect was no longer next to her. Turning back, she saw that he had stopped moving and had his arms crossed over his chest.

"Lily," he said, slowly.

"Yes?" the redhead squeaked.

"What are you on about?"

Lily's nose twitched. "Um…nothing." His blue eyes pierced her more sharply. "Just that I noticed…well…you and your mates seem a bit…estranged."

"Estranged," Lupin echoed.

"Yes," Lily said, in a small voice, already regretting this exchange. "Like maybe there was a..er…fight?"

"Ah," Remus paused for a moment, choosing his words. "Yes, well, it doesn't _really_ concern you, Lily, but some things got out of hand before Christmas and there was a bit of a falling out."

Lily frowned. "Falling out. That's what Sirius said—"

Remus jerked his head toward her. "You talked to Sirius about this?"

"Not really, no," the Gryffindor girl defended, resuming her patrol pace. He followed. "He just mentioned that things are a bit…tense."

"Tense," he murmured more to himself than the girl with him as he ran his hands twice through his honey-coloured hair. "Yeah, I suppose things are tense."

"But it'll all work out, right?" she offered. "I mean, you're the…the… _Marauders_."

Remus smiled, wryly, noting the difficulty with which Lily said the word. "Yes, well, some things are bigger than that."

This time, Lily was the one to stop walking. "Remus," she frowned. "You can't be serious."

The tall boy kept walking, choosing not to answer. Lily walked ahead to catch back up with him, lightly grabbing his arm. "What _happened_?"

He pulled his arm away. "Lily…you're my mate and I like to think that you and I are generally on the same page. But I'm not an idiot," he asserted. "You've never liked my friends."

Her lips twitched a bit. "That's not—"

"Lily," he solicited. "It's all right. Just one of those universal facts. The sky is blue, there are twenty-four hours to a day, and Lily Evans _detests_ the Marauders." He threw a small grin her way. "I guess I just don't understand why you care about our…falling out."

Lily paused for a moment, uncertainty etched onto her freckled face. "I don't really know," she admitted, looking to Remus, earnestly. "It just…bothers me."

Remus searched the witch's face for a moment before a small smile appeared. "This is actually frustrating you, isn't it?"

"It's not _frustrating_ me, it's just—"

"Yes," Remus pointed out, a small hint of laughter evident in his voice. He pointed at her in amusement. "It really is! Lily Evans, you are genuinely concerned with the well-being of my friend group—the friend group that you _hate_ —and you are upset with yourself about it."

"Okay, I am _not_ that concerned. I just make it a priority to be up to date on all the Gryffindor drama. I'm a sixteen-year-old witch. Gossip is my vice!"

"Yes, because _Lovely Lily_ cares so much about who's shagging who."

"Unless Potter and Black are hiding something, I don't see how _that_ is relevant," Lily leered.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Have it your way, Lily. Continue to live in ignorance to the fact that you actually _do_ care about the wellbeing of _arrogant toerags like Potter._ " Lily stuck her tongue out. "You can't help biology and you, Lily Evans, are a biologically nice person."

"Am not."

"You are," he insisted. "Five and a half years of pretending to hate someone has been too much for your poor genetic make-up. It's rejecting you."

"Some _one?_ When did this become about some _one?_ This is about you and all three of your little cronies."

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "No emphasis on one in particular?"

Lily's mouth went agape. "Remus Lupin, that is blatant line-crossing."

"What line?"

"The unspoken, yet mutually agreed upon line that states that you and I are not allowed to discuss James Potter and his weird affections for me."

"But Lily, I wasn't discussing _his_ weird affections for _you_."

"Oh, would you look at that," Lily looked at her watch. "Our patrol shift is over! Bye, Remus!" She took off down the hall, ignoring the chuckles of her fellow prefect.

…

Sleep came earlier to most Hogwarts students by the third night of the term. The excitement of being back with friends and jumping back into the swing of classes had already begun to wear off. The homework was accumulating and days were getting busier. Students began to choose full nights of sleep as opposed to staying in the Common Room at all hours, chatting about.

Lily stared at the wooden ceiling of her bed, aggressively fighting the urge to go downstairs. The words _biologically nice_ ran through her head and Lily was stuck on them. Was that what this was all about? Was she just hung up on the situation between the Marauders because she enjoyed peace and harmony and all that girly sap?

Somewhere in the back of her wild head, the truth prodded at her conscience, but she was far from being willing to deal with that. Ultimately ending the ongoing combat in her mind, she grabbed a book—for pretenses—and slid out of the girls' dorm. She tentatively descended the stairs, unsure of her plan.

"Sirius?"

"Evans," he hummed from the sofa as she gingerly approached, no trace of surprise in his voice. "Back again."

She held up her book in response and tapped his feet in an encouragement to make room on the sofa. He obliged.

"Had to figure out what happens to Pip next."

"Pip…"

"The protagonist in my book," the redhead explained with a smile.

"That's a weird name."

She fixed him with a sarcastic glare. "You were named after a _star_ , Black."

"The brightest star in the galaxy," he smiled, proudly. "Give credit where credit is due, Evans."

She rolled her eyes, opening her book and settling into the couch. A few moments of silence passed.

"Why don't you read something new?"

"Hmm?" She didn't look up from her chapter.

"That book. You've read it a million times—you already know everything that will happen. Why read it again?"

She looked up at him in surprise. "You've noticed me reading this before?"

"Evans," he raised an eyebrow, shifting a bit on the couch. "You would be _shocked_ at the things I've been required to notice about you after six years of living with James Potter."

She could feel her ears turning pink. He laughed.

"Evans is so bloody _brilliant,_ always _reading_ that tome of _Charles Dickens,"_ Sirius dramatically sighed in an attempted imitation of what Lily could only assume was supposed to be James. Although, she couldn't recall Potter having such a high voice or batting his eyelashes so much.

She couldn't help but giggle against her will. "He's not a _girl,_ for Merlin's sake."

"Oh, don't let him hear you say that, Evans," he warned, conspiratorially. "If he were to discover that you actually recognize him as a verifiable member of the male species, he may marry you on the spot."

Lily shook her head, forever in amazement at the dramatics that could accurately be associated with James Potter. She returned to her book for a few minutes as the boy beside her stayed horizontal, his eyes on the scarlet ceiling. She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Are you going to fix things with him?"

Sirius's eyes stayed on the ceiling. He didn't respond.

Lily sighed, closing her book and pulling her legs up onto the sofa. She crossed them in front of her and turned her torso to face him. "Because if you're waiting for him to make the first move, let me remind you that we are talking about _James Potter_ and humility is not his jam."

The dark-haired boy stayed silent for a moment, unreadable emotions playing across his face. "Have you ever been so passionately against something that you become the thing you are against?"

Lily answered him with a look of confusion.

"Say…you're a big dog person. You absolutely _love_ dogs. You've got twelve of them, planning to adopt another nineteen. You don't have time for a boyfriend or career or even sleep, because you're so enamored with your bloody dogs." He shot a glance at Lily. "You following?"

"Uh…"

"So this cat comes along and you are just filled with absolute rage. Not only does this cat represent everything you detest, but he goes so far as to try and attack one of your dogs! Now remember, Evans, you love these dogs with everything. Aside from these dogs, there's really not much purpose left to your existence. But this cat struts in and wants to seriously hurt one of your dogs. What do you do?"

"Well, I—"

"You defend the hell out of that dog!" he shouted, sitting up on the sofa in passion. "But here's the loop, okay? The cat is an absolute murderer. That's the reason you hate him in the first place. He's sneaky and he's conniving and he's treacherous. You're an upstanding dog-lover of integrity. You don't stand for those values. In fact, you _grew up with those values_ —with cats, that is. You've seen the damage they cause. The lives they ruin." He looked back toward the ceiling, pausing for a moment. "So you kill the cat."

Lily sat silently for a moment. "Sirius…"

"I didn't know what I was doing, Lily. It just happened and then it was too late and they hate me."

"Sirius, I don't—"

"They _hate_ me. And they should! I'm horrible. I became _them_."

"Who? What—"

"And they _hate me._ " He sunk back down to the couch, his eyes empty in their sockets, sunken and grey.

"Sirius," she pressured, softly. Silence. "Sirius, I'm sorry, but I don't…" She looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to explain. To fill in the gaps. To help her see.

 _Biologically nice._

The grey eyes continued to stare at the ceiling, lifeless and unmoving. Broken.

Lily watched him for several minutes, startling herself with how much she hurt for the boy. In five and a half years at Hogwarts, she had not experienced a wide range of emotions involving Sirius Black. There was the occasional laugh at a well-placed pun or prank, of course. But for the most part, Lily realized with a sting, her emotions had wavered toward contempt and irritation. He was attention-seeking and inconsiderate and spoiled. No sense of reality or thoughts for anyone outside their bubble of pride.

Looking at the crumpled boy on the sofa next to her, it was difficult not to lend a piece of her heart to him. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe she never stood a chance. Maybe her disdain for the Marauders had never been from a place of hatred, but from a place of misunderstanding. The dark-eyed boy with the shaggy hair and the broken voice was so…human.

 _Biologically nice._


	4. Chapter 4

****Disclaimer: Not mine. Not making any money.**

…

Olive was no longer enrolled as a Hogwarts student.

That was the simple message McGonagall delivered to the Gryffindor prefects at the end of the first week. The sixth-year Gryffindor girls had pestered the Transfiguration professor for days before she finally gave that bit of information to Lily. It wasn't nearly as much as the redhead wanted and as she felt she _deserved_ , but McGonagall had made it clear that the discussion was not to be further explored at the moment, so Lily held her tongue, determined to sort things out herself.

"That's _it_?" Marlene squawked.

Anna jumped off her bed in irritation. "What the hell does that even mean?"

Lily threw her hands up in surrender. "I'm only the messenger. That's all she gave me."

"Well, sod McGonagall. That's not fair!" Mary jumped in.

"It's a load of rubbish is what it is," McCall said, quietly from where she stood at the entrance of the dorm. The other girls looked between themselves, surprised by their dormmate's appearance and vocalization. McCall Simmons was a rather tall girl with short auburn hair that would have been quite striking if it were not so conservatively cut. She had shallow hazel eyes that rarely filled with passion or resolve. Even-keeled, polite, studious, and the absolute shadow of Olivia Magnus.

"I had an owl from her before we got back. She was enrolled for the term."

"I thought she was in Paris all holiday," Anna questioned.

"She was," McCall said, simply, quietly. "But her parents allowed her to owl me a couple times from their hotel."

The girls waited for the tall girl to continue, but she simply looked back at them blankly.

"Well?" Mary prompted. "Did she say anything worth noting?"

McCall blinked. "She went to the Eiffel Tower."

Mary sent an expression to Lily that clearly read _"who let this girl into the same house as us?"_

"Useful," Anna couldn't help but quip.

McCall stayed unaware of the sarcasm. "The staff is lying," she asserted. "I don't know why and I don't know where Olive is, but something happened. She wouldn't unenroll and her parents would never make her. They love magic."

…

Classes had been going for two weeks when it first became evident that this term would be an interesting one.

A notice for Quidditch try-outs was posted Saturday morning.

"Quidditch?" Lily commented, squinting her eyes as she scrutinized the board. "It's January."

Anna stopped her walk to breakfast as well, pausing to look up at the notice. "Sirius quit the team."

Lily jerked her head. "What?"

"You're kidding," Mary gaped.

"He showed up to the first practice but got in a fight with Potter and ending up leaving before we even started warm-ups. Hasn't shown up since, but anytime we mention being down a beater, James gets sensitive and makes us almost kill ourselves in practice." She shrugged her small shoulders. "Guess he decided to finally find a new one."

"But Black is an incredible beater. Lily doesn't know anything about Quidditch and even _she_ knows that."

The redhead resisted the urge to stick her tongue out. "He couldn't've quit."

"It's hell, either way," Anna said with disdain. "There's no way we can find someone as good as Sirius as it is. And we're certainly not going to find someone who can jump into a team that's already been playing for six months." She resumed walking as the other girl followed, listening intently. "Besides, Potter has been in a perpetually grumpy mood since the term started. A rubbish beater is just going to make it worse."

"What does he have to be grumpy about?" Lily threw out a feeler, testing the water to see if either of her dorm mates had any new intel about what was going on with the Marauders.

"You mean you haven't noticed?" Anna quirked an eyebrow. "Barely speaks to anyone besides Remus and Peter these days."

"Goes to class and goes to his dorm, that one." Mary added.

"And Quidditch."

"Oh, yes. And Quidditch." Mary rolled her eyes before turning back to Lily. "You really haven't noticed?"

"Our Lily already sees He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James as the worst being in existence, so I suppose she's blind to any amount of added _grumpiness_." Anna sneered, walking on ahead into the Great Hall.

"Ex _cuse_ me, you prat," Lily called after her, frowning, but following none-the-less.

"Cut the dramatics, Lil," Mary quipped, trailing after her friends. "You and James can snog it out at breakfast."

Lily's frown only deepened as she entered the Great Hall. The redhead hadn't seen Sirius at breakfast even once over the course of the first two weeks of school. In one of their nightly chats (which had become quite consistent and comfortable now), she had brought it up and he had played it off, casually convincing her he liked to go for a run in the morning, so he was the first one down to breakfast and grabbed it to-go. In response, she had tried to recall previous terms and found that she had never cared enough about the Marauders to even take note of his presence. Thus, his alibi checked and she chose not to press the issue.

This morning, however, Lily was greeted with quite a scene upon her entrance to the hall.

…

"No _bloody_ way," James spat, shoving his plate violently away.

Remus—who had gained an apology from James concerning his outburst from lunch two weeks prior but was still at consistent odds with the Quidditch captain—sighed. "Ja- _ames,_ " he said in a hushed, frantic tone, nudging the enraged boy next to him. His eyes quickly darted around the room. "The hall is full, mate. Try to keep it cool…"

James looked at his friend in irritation for a moment before apparently seeing the validity of his statement, allowing his own eyes to roam the room. Taking a deep breath, he sat a little straighter on his bench and looked down his nose at Sirius—who was hovering above his usual bench across from James—and huffed, self-importantly. "Find another seat. That one's taken."

Sirius's mouth twisted a bit, obviously eyeballing the vacancy. James simply quirked a defiant eyebrow, challenging the boy to _dare_ and point out his lie. There was no shame on the bespectacled boy's face.

"Everywhere else is full," Sirius muttered, his eyes downcast in defeat.

James leaned forward, menacingly, forcing Sirius to meet his eyes. "I don't give a shit, Black. Sit with the Slytherins. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open _ruddy_ arms."

That struck an obvious nerve and Sirius's face twitched with a retort for a moment, before he quickly stormed toward the Hufflepuff table.

There was a solid representation of yellow and white at the long table, but in true Hufflepuff fashion, they were far more clumped than their Gryffindor counterparts, and they're close formation had left a lonely end of the table. Sirius paused, looking at the length of the table, before taking a deep breath and taking a seat at the far end.

…

"Lily?"

The Gryffindor girl vaguely registered one of her friends' uncertain pleas as she marched toward the Hufflepuff table. Blocking out the abandoned maroon-clad students, she set her eyes on the long-haired Marauder. As she plopped into the seat across from him, his eyes shot up from beneath his dark fringe in shock.

"Evans?"

She grabbed for a pastry in response.

He leaned across the table and whispered tightly, as if a Hufflepuff may overhear and report them to the Ministry of Magic for eating breakfast. "What are you doing?"

The witch paused her chewing to respond, mouth still full of croissant. "Eating breakfast."

"Evans," the wizard repeated, rolling his eyes in exasperation and disgust at her un-ladylike habit. "Close your mouth. Why are you eating your breakfast _here_?"

"Why are you?"

"Because," he began, struggling. "My mates—the other guys…they didn't—"

" _My opinion_ is that Hogwarts has been getting far too segregated," she interrupted, simply, extracting a book from her lap. "It's time to mix things up a bit. Unity, harmony, peace. All that stuff." She found her dog-eared page and began to read, not giving Sirius a glance.

"Unity," he echoed, slowly. Then, twisting his head uncomfortably to the side, " _Great Expectations._ Of course."

"Hide the enthusiasm, Black," she said, eyes not leaving her page.

The wizard continued to eat in silence for a few moments before he interrupted her reading again. "So," he mused, his voice characterized by unfamiliar nervousness, "what's happening? Er…in the book."

Lily looked up in surprise. He was _very_ bad at small talk. Her lips twitched a bit at this realization; the charming, irresistible Sirius Black was not as smooth-talking as was rumoured.

"Black," she flipped back at him, "are you trying to flirt with me?"

He sputtered for a brief moment before realization and remembrance made their mark.

 _"_ _Are you trying to flirt with me, Evans?"_

The memory of their first night in the common room sparked a grin from both students. "I think you'd like this book, Sirius," she said, ruefully, emerald eyes glittering with life. "It's about an orphan."

"Does he have tragically striking eyes and sinfully-luscious raven locks?"

"No," Lily hummed, bemusedly. "But he gets rejected by the love of his life."

Sirius clanked his fork against hers. "Cheers, Evans."

…

" _What. Is. She. Doing._ " the messy-haired boy hissed from his vantage point at the Gryffindor table. "They're not even…friends," he sputtered with distaste and confusion. Remus and Peter stayed silent, watching Sirius and Lily talk and laugh together at the Hufflepuff table.

"I mean, the barmy bird has never said more than ten words to the bastard and they've always come wit an eyeroll and now they're over there _chumming it up_. What the hell is going on?" He was talking more to himself than his mates at this point.

"This is ridiculous. She hates him!" he continued, stabbing at his eggs, murderously. Peter eyed the poor plate of breakfast, wincing every time James's knife made violent contact. "He's arrogant and rude and obnoxious and loud and irresponsible."

Remus shot a look of question toward Peter, taking a careful breath. "Mate," he began cautiously. "It's _you_ , she's always hated. All of those things you just listed are the things Lily's said about _you_ …"

James froze with his fork above the plate. Peter's eyes went wide, wondering if he was about to witness the homicide of his friend.

Remus wasn't a Gryffindor by chance, however, and he courageously continued on. "Maybe when she doesn't lump him in with you, she…gets along with him…"

James continued to stare at his eggs with aggression for another moment before snapping, dropping his fork to his plate, immediately. "The arse is doing this on purpose." Remus's eyebrows raised. "He _knows_ how I used to feel about her—" the werewolf swallowed a snort at his mate's use of the past tense, "—and he's becoming cozy with her to piss me off."

"Maybe she's just being…nice," Peter contributed, mouth twitching nervously, eyes still glued to the now-abandoned fork. James acted as if he had not heard his friend at all.

"It's just as well," he replied, an air of nonchalance that sounded as inauthentic as it felt. "I've been over her for a year anyway."

James noticed Peter and Remus exchange a look that the former knew better than to ask about. Instead, he he returned to his ferocious destruction of his eggs with a scowl.

…

In a castle of teenagers, hormones are something that professors learn to ignore, the walls learn to expect, and the students learn to indulge.

Living in close quarters with the same few students blurs lines and, by graduation, the amount of convoluted relationships can not be easily quantified. Since the establishment of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, adolescent dealings of love and loss have been a simple given.

James Potter was the rule, not the exception. While he grew into his character for his first five years at Hogwarts, he had always been infatuated with Lily Evans. They met on the train during their first trip to the castle and he had been a bit stuck ever since. It was difficult not to notice the flaming red hair whooshing around corridors or the dainty, freckled hand that shot up excitedly in every class to answer questions. She was what Sirius had once called a "stick-in-the-mud" (when that was his Muggle expression of the week) but James knew better.

He saw the smirk when she pulled Mary MacDonald's stool out from under her in Potions during second-year, only to blame it on her clumsiness. He watched her run down the girls' stairs with a fully-painted maroon and gold face on the day of Anna Brodeur's first match as the first string Keeper, tackling her friend in the common room and waving a "GO GRYFFINDOR!" flag in front of her face. He listened to the booth behind him when she lied to her racist Hogsmeade date about feeling sick and watched her turn outside the Three Broomsticks toward Honeyduke's instead of the castle. He heard the jokes, the puns—the _horrible puns_ —, the quips, the sass, the banter, the whit.

For five years, he saw her and strived to make her see him. To stamp the word _failure_ on a progress report of those five years would be an understatement. They had held a total of zero cordial conversations and every interaction between the two ended in hexes or curses—both from the wand _and_ the mouth. Even so, James persisted. It wasn't fair that he felt more vitality and joy in moments of conflict with her than he did during the best snog sessions with his other string of dates over the past few years.

Lily Evans was worth the wait and James never doubted that for a moment.

"MacDonald!" James shouted down the corridor toward the golden-haired witch walking several steps in front of him. "Wait up," he jogged to catch up with the Gryffindor.

Mary raised her eyebrows at the arrival of the Quidditch captain as he fell in stride with her. "Wotcher, Potter." She returned her glance forward.

"Listen, I have a question for you," he said, breathlessly, struggling to maintain an even voice as he matched her quick pace. Instead of slowing down, she hummed as her response for him to continue. "Er…are Lily and Pad—Sirius…friends?"

Her pace stopped, suddenly. She whipped her head toward the lanky boy. "No."

"No, they're…not friends?"

" _No_ , you're not suddenly going to jump back into the role of psycho James Potter just because she's spending time with your ex-boyfriend."

"He's not my—"

Mary groaned in frustration. "I don't know what's going on between you and your cronies, and, frankly…I don't care." He opened his mouth to interject, but she held her hand up to silence him. "The thing with Lily Evans, however, is that she's far too good for any of us and so…she does care." He opened his mouth again. "But _not about you._ Lily is a 'fixer,' Potter, and Merlin knows that you and your mates need to be fixed."

He glared at the witch. "We don't need to be _fixed._ "

"Yes," she laughed dryly, "you do." She resumed her quick pace toward her next class. "Stay away from her, Potter. She doesn't need your dramatics making her life hell again."

He jogged to catch up. "I never made her life—"

"James." She stopped, once again, her tone taking on a different air—more somber. "Listen, Lily's a big girl and can fight her own battles, but I love her too much. Do you have any idea what all of your pranks and arguments contributed to Lily's disposition last year?" He blinked back at her in confusion. She sighed. "When her dad went into the hospital, it wasn't good. You knew that. _Everyone_ knew that. She got quiet and reflective and _sad._ It was horrible to watch, Potter. She felt as if the world were against her and then she would walk down into the common room, and lo and behold, it turned out the world _was_ against her in the form of a lanky, self-proclaimed Quidditch god who enjoyed commenting on her arse and insulting her best friend."

"Snape is—"

"I _know_ what Snape is. I always knew. But Lily has to fall on her own sometimes and Severus Snape was able to truly help Lily last year. I hate him, Potter. I _hate him_ and what he stands for, but for some reason…Lily and him have always connected." James's eyes darkened and Mary nodded in agreement. "Last year, Lily needed a friend. It couldn't be me or Anna or Marly or Olive or McCall or anyone. It had to be him. I don't understand it, either, but he helped her. He really truly did."

Severus Snape was the personification of everything James hated. That had never been a secret. While it would be remiss to not factor in jealousy over the Slytherin's closeness with Lily, that wasn't as big a part of James's detestation as people believed. As the son of two former Aurors, James had been raised to abhor dark magic. Snape made it clear, even in first year, that he was romanced by the dark arts. It created an automatic delineating between the two wizards.

Lily's love for Snape had simply served as consistent salt in the wound. She never seemed to see the obvious evil in Snivellus and gave him far too many chances to redeem himself when she did manage to catch him in act of dark magic. They had known each other before Hogwarts and the entire school knew that the two were close in a way that only childhood bonds could create. There had always been a great deal of speculation that Lily and Snape were more than friends, but James had never bought into that.

"Say what you want about the git, but he cares for Lily…in his creepy, obsessive way. She opened up to him last year, even when she shut the rest of us out." James sighed in defeat, knowing this was true, as much as he hated to believe it.

"I'm not Team Snape—like I said: _I hate him_. But Lily doesn't…didn't. But you and the creep are so obsessed with your stupid rivalry, it messed things up with them. She got tired of hearing about your hexes and bullying. She needed a friend last year and all she got was a moody victim of you and your mates' shit. You pushed him. Don't deny it, Potter. You _wanted_ to see him crack. He finally did…that day by the Black Lake…and you—"

"I never wanted him to hurt her!" James abruptly interjected. "It was never about her! She just—"

"James," Mary said, dryly. "It's _always_ about her with you." The tall wizard shifted uncomfortably, shooting a glance around the empty corridor. "But, here's the deal—I see through your act."

"What?" he faltered.

"I know about your little apology this past summer. You and your theatrics and your stupid guilt. I know that she ripped you a new one and said some choice words to you." She raised her eyebrows at the boy, daring him to contradict her. "And I know that she thinks she finally got through to you. That you've finally gotten over your little crush and backed down." She narrowed her eyes, searching his hazel eyes for something. "But that's not true, is it?"

His hand slowly inched toward his hair as his ears tinged red. Mary noticed and smirked in victory.

"You're not _over her_ at all. In fact, you're so bloody screwed when it comes to her that you don't know what to do anymore. You tried all your usual charming shit that— _Merlin knows why—_ works on the other tarts of this school." She inched closer to him, her blue eyes electrified by the smug knowledge that she was right. "But you finally got it through your abnormally fat head that it isn't some ruse or some denial—Lily Evans is truly _not into you._ In fact, Potter…she _hates you._ " James tried to ignore the stabbing sensation in his gut, his chest, _his heart_.

"You don't even know what a favor you've done pulling back from her life, Potter. I don't care if it's because you feel awkward or guilty, or even _remorse_ about everything you've done to her. Staying out of her way is the best gift you could ever give Lily Evans." She took another near-menacing step forward. "Lily is _too good_ for all of us, but she's _especially_ too good for you."

With that, she turned around and continued her march to Charms, pausing only to throw a "Stay away from her, Potter" over her shoulder.

...

 **A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts on where this is going. If you would like to review, but don't know where to begin, here are some areas I would love feedback in.**

 **1) How is the structure? Is it too jumpy and difficult to keep up with James then Lily then Lily again then James, etc.? If so, how could I improve this to make it easier to follow?**

 **2) Do we like the excess of dialogue or want more insight into thoughts? s the story progresses, I certainly want to dive more into the heads of our favourite little Gryffindors, but I understand that it may be a lot right now. Let me know your thoughts on dialogue.**

 **3) What do you want to see more of? Lily/roomies? Lily/Sirius? Marauders? James/Sirius?**

Anything is so appreciated as I truly try to develop and challenge myself as a writer. As always, thanks for reading! xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: We get to see more than grumpy James in this one, yay! Still not the fluff we're anticipating, but it's coming. Someday...**

 _Recap: The Marauders had a 'falling out' that has left James in the bad mood of the century and Sirius excommunicated form the group. Because of this, he has been sleeping on the sofa of the Gryffindor common room where Lily has always habitually read a novel after curfew. Those late night reading sessions have turned into conversations with Sirius and the two Gryffindors have developed a dynamic that borders on friendship, but still holds some awkwardness given the history of Lily and the Marauders. Mary called James out for still being infatuated with Lily and we learned that James has been acting a bit different toward the redhead this year ever since an apology-went-wrong. In the midstof this, one of the sixth-year Gryffindor girls, Olive, has been MIA, though the professors assured the student body that she simply unenrolled from Hogwarts._

 ****Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

(End _of Fifth Year)_

She was there, just like he expected. Over the past five years, Lily Evans could _always_ be expected to retreat to her favourite windowsill in times of contemplation. James had noticed this pattern during their second year and had always been intrigued by the rhythm of her routine. Once upon a time, he had even referred to the sacred spot as the "Window-Lil." Sirius had punched him in the gut for that one.

This was the first time he had ever approached her while she sat in the windowsill. Even immature James Potter recognized the reverence of the witch's choice seat. It really was the best window. Off to the corner of the Gryffindor common room, it was secluded enough to be counted as an escape, but not so far removed that one would ever feel isolated or excluded from whatever action happened to be occurring in the common room at the time. The expansive view allowed sight of Hagrid's hut and even the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

James had no qualms about ambushing the redhead at breakfast, in the corridors, or even attempting to get past the trick step her dormitory. But the windowsill was _hers._

Even so, he _needed_ to talk to her.

He took one last glance around the empty common room before shuffling toward the thoughtful witch. "Evans?" he timidly proposed.

She didn't flinch or look away from the window. Her hair was in a loose braid, face-framing orange tendrils tickling at her face. Her jaw was set in a way that James found both intimidating an attractive. Her light dusting of freckles was enhanced from the harsh sunlight of the day.

"Lily," he tried again. She blinked a few times before turning to get a look at her intruder. Surprise, hurt and confusion mingled on her face.

The Gryffindor girl took in the boy in front of her. His uniform was characteristically rumpled and his tie was completely missing. His tousled black hair was arranged in its signature state of chaos. The eyes, though—they were different. Lily had always loved eyes. _Window to the soul,_ her father had always said. James Potter's eyes were brown—dull, unexceptional, and average. Taking him in now, though, Lily realized she had been so wrong. Brown didn't describe the eyes at all…but then neither did green. Flecks of gold broke through the milky surface of his irises. They were entrancing, tempting her to dive right in and drown.

Lily shook her head to clear the unfamiliar and confusing thought trail. "What do you want, Potter?"

He shoved his hand in his pockets, staring at the floor. "I wanted to say I'm…sorry."

Lily watched the boy with burning green eyes for a moment before sighing and returning her gaze to her precious window. "No, you're not."

"I am!" he sputtered, indignantly, his hand jumping from his pocket to grab at his hair.

Her eyes didn't leave the Forbidden Forest. "No," she said, quietly, "you just want to be able to feel like the good guy in all of this."

James's head reared back. "Wh—what? I don't want to—"

"James," she sighed. His heart shifted to a dangerous speed at the use of his first name. "You're _not_ the good guy. No one is this good guy. Not you, not Severus. You're both equally dark in your own ways."

The messy-haired boy's eyes narrowed. He came to give an apology and she had turned it around on him being _dark_? "Dark?" he vocalized. " _Dark?_ I'm sorry, Evans, but I don't think I heard you correctly. Because you couldn't have possibly looped me in with that slime ball git of yours."

Her eyes flashed dangerously as she whipped her head back around to look at him. _This_ was the Lily Evans he was used to. "You bully, you terrorize, you disrespect, you—"

"Congratulations, Evans," he spat, "your knowledge of verbs is _quite expansive_."

"You're just as bad as he is!" she cried, arms flailing for emphasis. "Who instigated who, Potter? You! It's _always_ you! I'm tired of it! From both of you—'Potter did this,' 'Snape said this,' 'Did you see Potter's face?,' 'Snape started it.' I'm so done with all of your melodramatic shit!"

"He's _cruel,_ " the Quidditch captain entreated. "He watched Mulciber with Mary and he did not—"

"I KNOW!" She had stood at some point in her rant and she advanced on the taller wizard, very aware of exactly where her wand rested in her pocket. "I _know_ he was involved with that and I _hate_ that, but his actions don't excuse yours!"

"Well, why the bloody hell—"

"When are you going to stop caring what other people think about you and become your own person, Potter?"

James went agape. " _What?_ "

"You heard me!" she fired back, infuriated cheeks matching her hair. "When are you going to grow up and start acting like a decent human being?"

James just glared at her. He _was_ a decent human being. Better than decent, in fact!

Lily's emerald orbs continued to bore into his own hazels. She sighed in frustration and sat back down in her window, still facing him. "You won't, Potter." She said the words as if she didn't want to believe them. As if she had actually been failed by his lack of maturity. "You're fifteen-years-old. There's a war going on. You could be great, you know? You could really, truly make a _difference_ out there. And so, yeah, you're right—Severus is mixed in with a bad group. But he's chosen his path and owns it. I'm more worried about you." He opened his mouth to speak but she didn't give him the chance. "You're so confident up on your high-hippogriff, thinking that you're on the good side, the winning side, the _right_ side. I don't buy it, Potter." She gently swung her legs down to the ground and stood up from the chair. "You're just as bad as them." She walked over to the girls' staircase, not even bothering to turn around as she whispered, "Wasted potential."

…

 _(Present)_

Mary had been right on some accounts.

The apology attempt with Lily _had_ impacted James. No bloke wanted to be deemed _wasted potential_ and, even after five years of Lily Evans's best shots…that particular one hit its mark.

He had spent a large part of his summer sulking around, desperately attempting to hatch a new plan. In the end, it had been Moony who had convinced him that pulling back for a bit may be a good option for a while as things simmer down in response to the incident by the lake. Not that he really had an option. For some reason, when sixth year rolled around, being in the presence of Lily Evans no longer turned James into an arrogant idiot. It reduced him to a nervous, blubbering fool. He couldn't speak properly, couldn't sit down in chairs without missing, couldn't make eye contact with her at dinner without spilling gravy down his shirt.

James Potter was officially _off his game_ when it came to the sassy redhead.

He knew he had been stupid. That was apparent. But hearing from Mary that he had _hurt_ Lily pricked at a new place in his heart. He attempted to disregard it. After all, he was young. Offenses like that are expected and it would eventually be forgiven. No harm, no foul. _Boys will be boys._

As he sat through Charms, however, he couldn't help but shift uncomfortably as those words pinged around in his head.

 _"_ _Staying out of her way is the best gift you could ever give Lily Evans."_

But that was stupid. He had poured five years into showing that girl what commitment he was capable of. He had devoted time, energy, dignity. She was brilliant and beautiful and lovely and kind and spunky and passionate. Of course he wasn't going to stay away from her just because her _cranky mate_ suggested it.

 _"_ _Staying out of her way is the best gift you could ever give Lily Evans."_

But as the phrase continued to echo in the hollows of his mind and as he watched Lily giggle across the room with her friends—far away from him—he realized that's _exactly_ what he was going to do.

Because infatuation makes people do stupid things. It makes a boy ask out a girl in the corridor, during a Transfiguration exam, on the platform right in front of her parents, by the Black Lake as he hexes her best friend. It makes a boy jump off a moving broom, regardless of the likely potential to break an ankle, at the prospect of impressing her. It makes a boy keep his hand glued to his unkempt hair because he overheard her in first year tell a friend that "messy hair is cute."

But love.

Love isn't stupid—love is _irrational._ It's wanting to see someone be happy, regardless of whether you're a part of that or not.

With quite the jolt, James realized that, for perhaps the first time, greater than his desire to be near her was his longing to see her be authentically, fully, and incandescently happy.

 _"_ _Staying out of her way is the best gift you could ever give Lily Evans."_

…

"But why would the professors try and cover it up?" Anna reasoned after the subject of Olive's disappearance was dragged up for the millionth time in the sixth-year girls' dormitory after morning classes had concluded.

"If there's something sinister, then I really don't understand," Marlene contributed, optimistically. "Hogwarts is the safest place."

Lily rustled through her trunk looking a quill to replace her newly-broken one. "I don't think the professors are trying to cover anything up. I think they truly don't _know_ what's going on."

Mary snorted in contempt. "Yeah, right. The Hogwarts staff makes an absolute _hobby_ of keeping students in the dark on major issues." She exchanged the Charms and Transfiguration textbooks in her bag for Divination and DADA. "Do you remember third year? That Hufflepuff girl with the choppy blonde hair? Cropped real short on her neck? A few years older than us?"

"Langley Barnes."

"Yes! Langley!" Mary snapped her fingers in remembrance. "She got cheeky with the centaurs and ended up in the hospital wing for two weeks!" she shouted, exaggerating the last two words. "And what did the professors tell us?"

"Temporarily incapacitated," Mary and Anna sang in unison, busting into giggles.

"We were left assuming she had been bloody _murdered_. Then, one day, the Great Hall doors swing open and there she is, looking all chipper and peppy, none-the-worse-for-wear aside from a faint hoof print on her cheek!" Mary collapsed into laughter again. "You can't _possibly_ tell me the professors just blindly accepted unenrollment from a sixth-year with _no explanation._ They know exactly what's going—they just aren't sharing it with us."

Lily frowned, uncomfortable with how lightly Mary and Anna were discussing the disappearance of their dormmate. She shot a glance over to McCall who was sitting on her bed, blankly staring toward the window. The auburn-haired girl had been expressionless and quiet for the entire two weeks they'd been back. McCall and Lily had never necessarily been the closest of friends, but sharing a room with someone for five and a half years created a certain kind of bond that still allowed Lily to feel sympathy for the girl. Olive had been her closest friend.

"Quit jabbering and grab what you need, girls," Lily asserted, firmly. "We're going to be late to lunch."

Mary rolled her eyes toward Anna with a quick, "yes, _Prefect_ " but scurried out the door anyway, Marlene following in their wake. Lily went to follow them but paused to shoot a glance at McCall, still sitting on her bed.

"McCall?" Lily probed, gently. "You coming to lunch?"

Dull, hazel pools turned to meet Lily's bright green ones. McCall's eyes were set deeper than they had been in previous terms and had a bloodshot-quality that prompted wincing from the other party. "Lunch is starting in a few minutes," Lily reiterated.

McCall nodded, slowly. "Okay, I'll be along. Thank you," she murmured, looking straight through Lily.

The prefect hesitated for a bit before nodding and moving out the door.

…

"I come bearing gifts!" Lily announced, strutting into the common room, green eyes ablaze by the flames crackling in the fire place.

A grin broke out on Sirius's face. "Firewhiskey?" he guessed, hopefully.

The redhead rolled her eyes. "No, you miscreant," she plopped onto the couch, throwing a bag into his lap. "Chocolate!"

"I knew I kept you around for a reason, Evans."

"So," Lily mumbled around the fudge she had already popped into her mouth. "I know I'm not supposed to ask about the _incident—_ "

"Right."

"—or the forest—"

"Correct."

"—or the other boys—"

"Absolutely not."

"—but I have to know. When do your restrictions end?"

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "Evans," he groaned.

She held her hands up in defense. "No, listen, it's not like I don't love spending my money on your indulgence in Hogsmeade." He snorted. "But when do you get to start going again?"

The shaggy-haired boy sighed. "I don't know. Next year, hopefully. Depends how good my _behaviour_ is."

Lily popped another chelate into her mouth. "Oh, so never."

"Sod off," He shoved her, a bark of laughter erupting. "So, what's Pip up to today?"

"Oh, I didn't bring Pip with me."

"No?" he looked startled.

"I've got something better."

"You've been holding out on me, Evans."

"Uh huh," she smirked, withdrawing a crumpled paper from her pocket. She held it up in victory, wiping chocolate form her mouth. "A letter from my dear sister," she proclaimed, self-importantly.

Sirius grinned. This was not the first time he had gotten to partake in reading a letter from Petunia Evans. "I'm impressed, Ginge. You didn't even open this one without me!"

"I figured it was worth the wait if we both got to have genuine, initial reactions," she explained with a smile. "Predictions?"

"She's pregnant," Sirius immediately suggested.

Lily gasped through her guffaws. "Sirius!" she shouted, scandalized. "Petunia's too good for sex! You should know that by now!"

"Oh, I am so sorry. You are absolutely right," he said, in mock seriousness. "I completely forgot that an angel has promised to appear to dear Petunia when the time for her offspring comes." Clearing his throat, he sat up straight on the couch and took on an air of regality. "Petunia Evans, saint and martyr of our broken world! You shall conceive a child—holy, lovely, and the saviour of the human race. Do not fear. Sexual intercourse is not required, for this baby will be produced from pompous righteousness."

"Careful, Black," Lily pitched in, wagging her finger. "It almost sounds like you're suggesting the child of my sister will be birthed from…" She took a dramatic pause, hand clenching her heart. " _Magic!_ "

Sirius howled with laughter at the suggestion that Petunia Evans would _ever_ consort with the _dark dealings of magic. "_ Go on, Evans, read it!" he managed through his laughter.

"Lily," the redhead began, lips puckered in a stellar imitation of her sister. "It is with sole obligation that I write you this letter."

"How endearing."

"Hush," Lily instructed before resuming. "You see, I am getting married—"

"WHAT?"

"—the wedding will be in June. Vernon does not want an extended engagement and I agree."

" _THE WALRUS_?"

"—Mum is requiring that I send you an invitation. Of course, it is simply out of politeness—" Sirius snorted, but Lily raised her hand to stop him as she read ahead silently.

"Lily?"

The redhead's eyes grew wide with emotion before going void as she set the letter back down.

"C'mon, don't leave me hanging, Evans," Sirius pleaded. Lily looked over at him with dull eyes, shoving the letter toward him.

 _Mum is requiring that I send you an invitation. Of course, it is simply out of politeness. Do not come to my wedding, Lily. Please. Make something up to tell Mum. It can be your wedding present to me. I can't handle the disaster that you always seem to bring. Not on my wedding day._

 _I hope all is well with you and that you can understand._

"Well, shit, Evans," Sirius murmured. A small smile played at her lips, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"I think I'm going to…go to bed," Lily croaked, shoving the letter back into the pocket of her night-robe and standing from the sofa.

"Lily," the dark-haired boy eyed her, a mix of uncharacteristic compassion and uncertainty in his grey eyes. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yes, of course," Lily put on a brave smile. Sirius didn't look convinced. "She's wearing _Vernon_. I wouldn't want to attend anyway."

"Well, sure, but she's still your sis—"

"I'm tired," Lily said, quickly. "Enjoy the chocolate. G'night, Black."

His thick eyebrows furrowed, creating deep creases on his forehead. "Okay…night, Evans."

She began to move to the staircase, wordlessly. "Hey, Evans?" She paused at the bottom of the steps, slightly turning back toward the handsome wizard on the sofa. "I know I'm…well…" he stumbled along, attempting to string together coherent thoughts. "But if you ever wanted to talk about anything…well my family is rubbish, and…"

She nodded quickly before disappearing in a flurry up the stairs.

..

 **A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed! It truly makes my heart soar when I get a notification that someone has left feedback. I appreciate you all!**


	6. Chapter 6

***Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

...

The Great Hall was especially rowdy the next morning at breakfast. Sundays were generally laid back as students took advantage of the weekend and slept in. For whatever reason, however, most of the tables seemed full and, to Lily's chagrin, horribly cheerful.

She sat on a bench between Mary and Marlene, attempting to tune out their conversation about the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.

"—not that it matters what's going on there, though. Have you _seen_ his arse?"

Anna snorted. "Call me mad, but Quidditch just doesn't do it for me anymore. Blame it on rule sixteen."

"You have too many rules, Annie dear. William Davie is completely worth rule-defiance," Mary smirked. "The only one with a _real_ shot is our Lovely Lily here, though."

Anna gasped. "Merlin, I forgot about that! Was that third year?"

"Fourth! The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year!" Mary corrected her, blue eyes taking on a light that only seemed to announce itself during the best of gossip. "She said, _I'll think about it._ "

"I'll think about it!" Anna howled. "Only our Lily could so flippantly reject the hottest boy at Hogwarts."

"I thought you weren't into Quidditch boys," Mary cajoled with a smirk.

"I'm still a verifiable female, aren't I? Just because I don't want to jump the bloke doesn't mean I can't…appreciate him."

This set off a new round of cackles for the blonde. She looked to her redheaded friend for camaraderie and noticed the girl's untouched breakfast plate.

"Lil?" she nudged her mate's shoulder. "You all right?"

Lily forced a smile, not looking up from her plate. "Yeah, just not too hungry."

"If you want to fix your appetite, take a peek over at Davie," Mary wiggled her eyebrows as Anna giggled beside her.

"G'morning, ladies," a new voice sang brightly, squeezing between Mary and Lily on the bench. "A bit early in the morning to lust, isn't it?"

"Sod off, Black," Mary shoved him in an attempt to gain back her spot. Years of Quidditch had established Sirius as the upper-hand in that battle, however, and she gave up after a moment of effort, with a frustrated sigh. "Don't you have a puppy to kick?"

"Don't you have an Astronomy tower to jump off of?" he shot back, sweetly.

The blonde witch groaned, pushing away from the table, shoving him as she stood up. "C'mon, Anna, Lily. I lost my appetite." Anna dutifully gathered her things from the table and went to follow Mary, but Sirius spoke up as Lily set her fork down.

"Actually, I wanted a word with Evans here, if you two don't mind scurrying along without her."

Lily looked to Sirius with confusion before nodding. "Go on, girls, I'll catch up in a bit."

Mary and Anna exchanged a look of doubt and disdain before giving a small wave and exiting the Great Hall.

Lily looked to Sirius in anticipation. He didn't meet her gaze, choosing to scoop some breakfast onto a clean plate. "The eggs look a bit runny this morn'," he mused. "Not up to the elves' usual standard at all."

Lily continued to stare at him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you going to eat that?" he said, grabbing her toast before she could respond. "Thanks."

"Black," she lilted. "What do you need?"

"Oh, y'know. _Unity._ You ruined my meal of loneliness and despair the other day, so I thought I would do the same." he quipped, winking at her. Her gaze didn't falter. He turned toward her, dropping his smirk and taking on an air of—albeit uncomfortable—somberness. He cleared his throat, before dropping his voice. " I just wanted to make sure you were...er-all right after that letter from—"

"I'm _fine_ ," she snapped. "I told you last night…it was just a letter. I don't _care._ "

He looked sideways at her, doubt etched on his face. "O- _kay_ , sure, well I just—"

"I don't need you to coddle me, Black," she barked. "We're not _friends._ "

His eyes darkened, as his eyebrows dropped in defiance. Suddenly, he sat up straight on the bench, his shoulders rolled back in perfect posture. "Ex _cuse_ me, Evans, for misinterpreting the last month of our lives," he hissed, dangerously. "You pester me every damn moment I get a frown on _my_ face, so I thought it was only fitting that I return the _favor._ But _I'm sorry_ to impede on your bloody sulk session."

She jumped up from the table, ripping her toast back from his plate, and storming out of the Great Hall. Sirius glared after her for a moment before returning to his breakfast, still moody and frustrated.

He didn't notice the hazel glare from down the table staring holes into the side of his face.

…

"Are we going to talk about this one?" Remus hummed, bemusedly, from his place under the tree. "Or act like it didn't happen?"

"What?" asked James, his eyes scrunched behind his glasses. The Quidditch captain was leaning against the large oak, mindlessly scorching the grass and regrowing it with his wand as he sat.

"Well, I'm just trying to get a heads up so I can sort the Sirius/Lily interaction of breakfast into a category," Remus explained, casually. "So are we going to talk about it? Or ignore?

James glared at his friend, the radius of his _incendio_ ing expanding. "There's nothing to talk about."

The werewolf searched his friend's face for a moment, looking for something. "Interesting…"

Hazel eyes narrowed even more at the prefect's investigation. "Don't _interesting_ me, mate. Evans is perfectly entitled to talk to whoever she wants."

"And that includes Sirius?"

"That includes…Sirius." he resolved, with some admitted difficulty.

"And if he says something to offend her and she angrily storms out the Great Hall and is in a bad mood for the rest of the day?"

"That's her…er—prerogative," James offered, somewhat lamely.

A small grin appeared on Lupin's face. "Very good, James," he commended his friend as if he were a first year who had finally learned to summon a broom. "I dare say you're growing up a bit." James looked uncomfortable with this observation, but stayed quiet none-the-less.

"Pity that your trainers are on fire," the sandy-haired boy said, flippantly, brandishing his own wand with a quick, "Aguamenti!" James jumped onto his feet, stamping out the last bit of flame, as Remus chuckled. "You're distracted, mate."

James swatted the charred bits of rubber off his singed shoes in frustration. "I'm _not._ I'm just getting tired of your interrogations."

"I'm getting tired of your outright denial," Remus retorted, evenly. "Just admit that you still have feelings for Lily and that her relationship with Sirius bothers you."

"She doesn't have a _relationship_ with Sirius," he spat, throwing himself back onto the ground.

Remus's eyebrows raised. "The fact that you picked _that_ out of what I just said confirms my point."

James sighed, leaning his head against the tree and closing his eyes. "I just wish I could get away from the both of them."

"Why?"

"It's never going to happen with Lily—"

"That's never seemed to damper you before."

"—and seeing Sirius just reminds me of what he did."

Remus's mouth twitched. "Listen, Prongs…mate," he shifted, uncomfortably, twisting his own hands around each other in his lap. "I just want to make sure…this whole angst thing you've got going on. It's not because of…me, is it?"

The messy-haired wizard's eyes flew open. "What?"

"Well, I just…" Remus faltered. "What Sirius did was…without excuse." His eyes iced in memory. "But we've all made mistakes and I've just been thinking about it and, well…I don't want it to ruin our year…ruin _your_ year."

"Moony," James interjected. "He _told Snape_ about you. You could have _kill—_ "

"I am quite aware of what he did, James," Remus grimaced, holding his hand up in an authoritative gesture to stop James's rant. "I just want to make sure that your anger on the subject is not stemming from this 'saving people complex' you have going on."

"I don't have—"

"You do." he said with finality. "But Prongs, I can look after myself. Y'all have protected me for so long, literally put yourselves in harm's way for my comfort, my happiness. Sirius is your _best friend_. I don't want you losing that for me."

"This isn't about you, Moony. He went _too far_."

"I know he did, but this is _Sirius_. We practically set him up for it! He doesn't have the same moral compass that you and I have, James, he's—"

"He's got a heart, hasn't he? And some sort of brain under that fringe? He should have _known_. Snivellus could have been bitten or he could have told or…Remus, you could have ended up in Azkaban!" The gold in James's eyes was vivid now, poking through small holes of brown and green for emphasis. "He can't just…we can't…Moony, he deserves all of this and more."

Remus nodded, slowly. "I know. But…James, you do plan on forgiving him one day, don't you?" James's gaze stayed on his burnt trainer. "Because I do. And if I can forgive him for…what he did, then I think you can, too."

"I can't."

"It'll take time. For me, too," Remus nodded, standing from his place on the ground. "But he needs us, mate. Y'all have always tried to protect me, to help me. And I love you for it—you know that." Remus pulled his scarf tighter around his neck, brushing off the dirt stuck to his robe. "But it's always been Sirius who needed the saving, James." With a small smile of encouragement, he headed toward the castle.

…

For the first time in the month of being back at Hogwarts, Lily didn't go the common room after curfew. She stayed in the sanctuary of her bed, striving to push thoughts of the outside world away. A task that turned impossible as she held her sister's crumpled letter in her hand under the sheets.

Her thoughts fluttered to the unoccupied bed in the corner of the room. Where was Olive? Why hadn't she owled anyone? Why were the professors so silent? Olive and Lily were not the tightest of friends but their interactions had never been anything but pleasant and happy. Lily's eyes stung as she recalled Olivia bringing mounds of Muggle candy (from her uncle's shop) at the beginning of each term and generously showering it upon her dorm mates. Being the only muggleborn Gryffindors in their year had created a special sort of camaraderie between the two girls. They had experienced the wonders of magic for the first time together, a whirlwind of oohs and ahh while the other girls had simply gone through the motions.

Remembering all of her "firsts" at Hogwarts brought a different sensation of pain—this one far too familiar. Severus had been her first friend, her only friend for quite some time. More than her pain at losing him was the sting of knowing exactly what— _who_ —she had lost him to. The boy who showed her magic and spoke identity into the life of a girl that, for the first eleven years, had felt like an outcast.

Even on the best of days, though, Severus had never managed to replace the gaping void left by her sister. For a moment, Lily allowed herself to consider Petunia's letter.

 _"_ _I can't handle the disaster that you always seem to bring."_

After all of the animosity between the sisters since Lily's attendance at Hogwarts, it shouldn't have come as that big of a shock. But it still hurt. Lily and Petunia had giggled about their weddings since they were little girls and there had never been a question of who would be the maid-of-honour at each of the girls' ceremonies. Lily had, admittedly, ditched that particular dream long ago. But to be completely _uninvited_ stung deep.

Lily Evans was not a crier. The world was at war and people were dying and prejudice was growing. There were _real_ issues that needed to be prioritized and dealt with. For one night, though, Lily let herself be validated in her own problems, her own sadness. Because sometimes the world around you is crumbling and so you cry yourself to sleep because you just need your _sister._


	7. Chapter 7

**** Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

...

February quickly turned into March and as Hogwarts adjusted to springtime, thus did the students. Between classes, more than the few and the brave could be found studying and lounging on the grounds, no longer locked away in fear of the blistering elements. The entire mood of the castle seemed to become brighter, both because of the physical light now more freely filling the corridors through the various stained glass windows and because of the cheerful dispositions of the student body.

The only two students who didn't quite seem to buy into the new-found perkiness of the school were James and Lily.

In the former's defense, he did not yet possess the capability and maturity to understand his own sourness. Of course, a third-party observer could easily see how the harsh impact of losing his best friend had affected him. In addition, his resolution to give Lily space didn't make his life any more facile and the realization of her true detestation of him just made the whole situation sting all the more. But for a boy who had spent his first fifteen years of life focused mainly on himself, he was just now understanding that valuing the lives of others had strong repercussions. And so James Potter carried on. His daily routine did not look very different from his previous terms, but it lacked the laughter—and self-admitted debauchery—that had hitherto characterized his time at Hogwarts.

Likewise, Lily was also quite unaware of the root of her own crabbiness, choosing to hide from her own realities under the guise of being _fine_. When she didn't immediately respond to her sister's post, Petunia had sent six more letters. All of them were relatively similar in nature. The message was rather clear. Don't come to the wedding. Eventually, Lily mustered the Gryffindor courage to respond and sent her sister a simple, "Okay. Congratulations." Petunia had not seen it fit to further pursue any sort of correspondence after that. And so, too, Lily Evans carried on.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this situation concerned how acutely aware of the other individual's misery each of the teenagers was.

Every day, James watched Lily eat her breakfast in silence and contribute minimal smiles and tidbits to her mates' conversations in an effort to pass under the radar. He noticed her spending a great deal of more time in her windowsill and a great deal of less time laughing by the lake with her friends. At the same time, Lily watched the wizard's face twitch uncomfortably every time Sirius was mentioned and how long it had been since a grand Marauder's prank. One was fueled by love and one was fueled by curiosity but neither enjoyed seeing the other so downcast, whether or not either of them realized it.

…

"Mr. Potter," the Transfiguration professor nodded, politely, as James slowly entered the office. "Do take a seat."

The Quidditch captain nodded, silently falling into the familiar chair.

"Do you know why I brought you in this evening, Mr. Potter?"

James shook his head.

"A source has informed me that Mr. Black has been sleeping in the common room sofa for two months." McGonagall's mouth pursed in anticipation of the wizard's defense. She was surprised to see the generally loquacious student continue to glare at the desk in silence. "Mr. Potter?" she probed. "Do you know anything about this?"

His gaze shifted toward his teacher. "Yes, Professor."

McGonagall's eyebrows shot up, waiting for further explanation, but she only receive his intense hazel gaze. After a few moments of the two Gryffindors' competitive stares, she cleared her throat. "James," she began as he flinched at the use of his given name, "I will not pretend to be privy to the adolescent drama that is so unfortunately present at this school. When one of my students is being forced to sleep on a sofa that does not even fit the full length of his body, however, I _must_ intervene. Now, Potter," she echoed, dangerously. "I am going to give you another chance. Explain yourself."

He struggled under her withering gaze for a moment before sighing. "The thing last semester…with Remus…and Snape—"

"I am quite aware of the incident that transpired at the Whomping Willow last term, Mr. Potter."

"He…Sirius…he betrayed Remus! He told Snape how to get down there…he…he could have gotten Remus exp—"

"James," McGonagall sighed. "Do you remember your sorting ceremony?"

"Yes," he said, slowly, eyeing the professor with uncertainty.

"As do I. I expected the hat to decide immediately for you. You were so keen on being a Gryffindor, like—"

"My dad, I know." he said, gruffly.

"But your ceremony wasn't quick, was it? No, indeed it was one of the lengthiest of your year," she reminded him as his emotionless gaze returned to stare at her desk. "Now, you are aware that the conversation of the hat can only be heard by you. I have absolutely no way of knowing what the sorting hat said to you that day. But I can wager a guess."

The wizard gave no indication that he was listening to her at all, so she sighed and pressed on. "Potter, the hat wanted to place you into Hufflepuff, didn't it?" His silence was answer enough. "Do you know why that is?" Quiet. "Because you are loyal—to a fault. The hat saw that six years ago and I have seen it every day since."

She fell quiet, allowing the boy to process what she was saying. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as his face scrunched in concentration. Finally, "Professor, I don't understand what this has to do with anything. I chose Gryffindor that day."

"Oh, I know that. And I would venture to say that you chose quite correctly." She fought to withhold the small smile of pride that played at her lips. "But, Potter, the scarlet and gold tie around your neck do not stamp out your Hufflepuff qualities. You are capable of a great deal of love, dear boy, and I believe that Mr. Black is the individual in this world who can most adamantly attest to this. The ones who need the most love are often the ones who can be most hurt by it." She paused to look at her student. His eyes had finally met hers again. "I know I do not need to brief you on Mr. Black's harsh background. Love is not something he is familiar with, Potter. In your short time at Hogwarts, you and Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew have enriched his life with the very valuable gift of unconditional friendship. You chose to look past his family, his expectations, his brokenness and see…a boy. Now, I am beseeching you, Potter, to recall your first year. Sirius Black has made an irreparable mistake; of that there is no question. But are you so committed to justice that you overlook forgiveness?"

"Professor McGonagall," he blurted, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. "Are you going to make Sirius come back to the dorm?"

"Certainly not," the older woman shook her head. "You are."

His mouth went agape. "You're going to make me—"

"You are sixteen years old. I am not going to _make you_ do anything of the sort. But if the sorting hat was right about you—and I do believe it was—then I think you are going to fix this situation on your own, without my help."

"You mean forgiving him," James spat. "I'm not doing that, Professor."

"I think that allowing him to sleep in his own bed would be an excellent start."

"No way! I'm not talking to him at all. If he wanted to stay in the dorm, he could've thought about that before—"

"Have a good night, Potter."

"What?" the wizard sputtered. "That's it? You're just going to rant at me about friendship and loyalty and then kick me out?"

"I do believe there is a conversation you need to have before curfew tonight."

"I'm not _inviting him back to the dorm!_ "

The Transfiguration professor only smiled. "Very well, Potter. Then I suppose I will just see you in class tomorrow."

Jame stood up, still bristling as he walked to the door. "I'm _not_ talking to him!"

…

"You're going to let us read it when you're finished, aren't you, Anna?" Mary's shrill voice broke across the dorm toward her petite friend's bed.

The copper-haired girl looked up from her letter. " _No_."

"What?" Mary squawked, swooping over to her friend. "You've been waiting for this boy to write you for _two months_ , and he finally does and we don't even get to hear it?"

"It's _private,_ " Anna defended.

"Don't you know that the word _private_ only means that Mary feels special possession over it?" Marlene snorted from her own bed, where she was working on homework. "Anyone know if it's a swish or jab for the extended _protego_?"

"I reject that!" Mary shouted, sounding scandalized. I'm just invested in my _dear, sweet friend's_ life!"

"Swish or jab?"

"And besides, I still haven't herd how this mystery Muggle boy managed to get an owl here anyway! I need answers, Brodeur."

Anna Brodeur only rolled her eyes. "I already told you that he sent the letter to my house and my mum owled it. And sorry, Marls, but I'm rubbish at DADA."

"Oh, that's right, you did already say that," Mary hummed. "Well, as your best friend, I should still be entitled to full disclosure."

"You need to get laid, MacDonald," Marlene offered as Anna burst into raucous laughter. Swish or jab, _anyone_?"

"Oi, Lily!" Mary called to her friend. The redhead was reclined on her bed, homework balanced on her chest as he eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. "Earth to Evans!" Lily blinked at the tall blonde now standing over her bed.

"Sorry," she said, quickly, sitting up. "What's up?"

"The prat across the room needs homework help," Mary explained, plopping onto Lily's bed as she pointed at Marlene.

Marly scoffed. "Extended protego charm. Swish or jab?"

"Neither. It's twist."

"Twist!" she shouted, pumping her fist into the air, victoriously. "Thank you!"

Lily smiled in response, before turning to Mary show as now sprawled across her bed. "Don't you have your own bed?"

"It's not as soft," Mary offered as explanation. Lily chuckled, leaning back next to her friend. "Are you okay?" the taller witch murmured.

Lily twisted her head toward her friend. "What?"

Mary frowned. "You've been quiet lately."

"I'm okay, just stressed about school and everything."

"You're top of the class, Lil. What do you have to be stressed about?"

The prefect stuck her tongue out. "Gotta stay at the top, don't I?"

"You'd tell me if something was going on, right? If you were upset or sad about something?" Mary pressed.

"Of course."

"Okay, good." The witch looked doubtful, but smiled nonetheless. "Well, I'm knackered. Any chance you want to switch beds for the night?"

"Mary," Lily laughed. "Our beds are the exact same. Get out." She shoved her off for good measure.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Mary slid off the bed, pulling her hair out of it's braid as she climbed into her own bed. Before laying down, she turned back around. "Hey, Lil, how come you haven't done any late night reading lately?"

"Just been too tired lately." An unpleasant sensation tugged at her gut as the lie slipped through her lips.

…

"You can sleep in the dorm."

Sirius shot up from his place on the couch, peering over the back cushions. "What?" he sputtered in surprise at the messy-haired wizard standing in the common room.

"You're too lanky for that couch."

"I'm too lanky for the couch," Sirius echoed in a daze.

James crossed his arms over his chest, hazel eyes dark and hardened. "This doesn't change anything. But you can have your bed back." He turned around and marched up the boys' stairs, leaving a shell-shocked Sirius Black alone on the sofa. He blinked a couple times before grabbing his pillow and racing up the stairs.

 **A/N: Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback!**

 **I was going to have this conversation between McGonagall and James be between Lily and James but I think it would have been forced at this point, so I changed it all up. I promise that Jily interactions** ** _are_** **coming. As several of you have pointed out, I have a bit of a different take on the dynamics between the Marauders/Lily and I want to stay true to that and not rush things along. But bare with me because it's coming (within the next two chapters)!**


	8. Chapter 8

***Disclaimer: Not my characters.**

The new norm in the Gryffindor boys' dorm was uncomfortable at best, hostile at worst.

While Sirius was allowed to use his bed and keep his belongings in the dorm, his presence outside of sleeping hours was clearly not welcomed. If he came in more than half an hour before curfew, he was subjected to glares from James and awkward attempts at hostility from Remus and Peter.

In the mornings, he set his alarm earlier than the other boys and attempted to be the first one to breakfast each morning. This allowed him to get out of the dorm before the other boys were conscious and avoid excuses for why he was eating breakfast alone. If he was the only one at the Gryffindor table, no one expected him to be sitting with friends. The two months of isolation from the Marauders had taught him a great deal about his own extrovertedness and how desperately he needed human contact to properly function. Being locked away in a cell for more than a day or two would likely drive him to utter insanity.

Moreover, his more recent isolation from Lily stung more than he expected. It was interesting how quickly she had become a small light in his life. Perhaps it was because he was so desperately craving human interaction, or perhaps it was because she had _always_ been so radiant and he had simply never noticed. To his own surprise, Sirius found himself quite missing his nightly talks—and the occasional meal—with the spunky redhead.

In all honesty, he had gotten over his irritation toward Lily almost immediately after their small show-down had occurred. He had waited up in the common room that night for a couple extra hours, before finally resigning himself to the reality that she wasn't coming down to "read." The next night, he had followed suit, but was—once again—left disappointed. This paired with a couple days of her avoiding him at all costs in the halls and classes forced Sirius to accept that his newfound friendship had been short-lived and was, officially, over.

…

"Do you think she would say yes?" Peter beseeched, a bit of whine evident in his voice.

"Only one way to find out, Wormtail," James said, cheerfully, quickening his pace to walk in front of the other two boys.

"Just ask her, mate." Remus contributed.

"Well, what about you, Prongs? Who are you asking?" the mousy boy countered.

"No one," James said, flippantly. "I'm hanging out with Moony all day."

Peter's eyebrows raised as Remus's mouth twitched. "I thought Moony was taking— _ouch!_ " He had been slugged in the gut.

James whipped around. "What was that, Pete?"

The round wizard shot a sour glare at Remus. "I don't know; what was that, _Moony_?"

"I'm…er—going with Callie Ostrom."

The Quidditch captain's eyes stayed trained on his friend. "You're going…with Callie Ostrom…" he murmured.

"It's not like I don't want to hang out with you, James, it's just that we've…well, the three of us have spent every Hogsmeade trip together this term and I kind of hoped to…change things up?"

James paused for a moment, considering his friend's words. Had they really spent every Hogsmeade trip together? As James searched around for names of girls that he had taken as dates, he realized they were all from previous semesters. Remus was right.

"Oh," he offered, lamely. "Yeah, no, you should definitely go with…who was it? Ostrom? Yeah, she's great! Nice job, Moony." He managed a grin. "Wormtail and I will just have to get along without you," he said, throwing his arm around the shorter boy.

"Er…actually, Prongs, I wanted to ask Melissa out, remember?"

"Melissa?" James eyebrows kneaded together in confusion, his arm dropping from his friend's shoulder.

Irritation pricked at Peter's blue eyes. "Melissa _Bowers?_ We were _just_ talking about her…"

"Oh! Right, right. Of course. Okay, well, yeah, Pete—definitely ask her out! She's fit, for a Hufflepuff."

"Ravenclaw," Peter corrected quietly, with a sigh that went unnoticed by James.

"Maybe," Remus began, "you should ask someone this time, Prongs…"

James blinked, his mouth twitching a bit. "Uh…yeah, maybe!" he mustered, cheerfully.

The werewolf's eyes narrowed. "James. Is this about Lily?"

"What?" James practically jumped. "Why would this be about Lily? I don't even _talk_ to Lily anymore."

"We know, mate," Remus sighed.

"Yeah, you only mention it once an hour." Peter contributed, rolling his eyes.

"I think," the sandy-haired wizard raised his voice, not in the mood to see Peter be hexed by the more skilled wizard, "you should consider asking a girl out in an effort to progress on this…er path to…getting over Lily."

"There's no _path_ , Moony, I _am_ over Lily."

"Right." Lupin said, doubtfully. "Then, you should definitely ask another girl to Hogsmeade."

James resumed his walk, confident that his mates would follow him. He marched silently for a bit before saying, "Okay, I will."

"Who?"

" _Who?_ "

"Who." Remus repeated, firmly. "Who are you going to ask, Prongs?"

"Uh…Juniper Alessio." _Where had that come from?_

"Juniper Alessio…have you ever even _talked_ to Juniper Alessio?"

June Alessio was a fifth-year Gryffindor known for her girlish giggles and proclivity to knock over everything in her path. She was charmingly clumsy and well-liked, aside from the time her spilled cauldron seared a couple of Slughorn's fingernails off.

" _Yes_ ," James frowned. "She tried out for the Quidditch team last year."

"Yeah, and you _cut her_ during the last round."

"Right," James grimaced in memory. "Well, sounds like as good a time as any to work on that apology!"

Peter rolled his eyes yet again. "Yeah, a year and a half later."

…

A few hours later, the Great Hall was brimming with students indulging on a midday meal of roasted chicken and potatoes. Lily was at her usual spot near the center of the table, squished between Anna and Mary, with Marlene and a couple other Gryffindor girls sitting across from her.

"Sweet potato jello _again_?" Lily whined in disgust. "I miss Muggle food." She picked up the small cup, shaking it back and forth, watching the orange goop jiggle to a sickening unheard dance.

"Better than the avocado mush we had last week." Mary piped, taking a content bite of her own jello.

"But cherry? Strawberry? Grape? All normal flavors that are easily accessible."

Mary chuckled. "Sorry, love. Get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

Lily pushed her cup away with a grumpy groan, choosing to focus her mind on the chocolate fudge she knew was upstairs in her dorm.

"Oi, MacDonald, can I knick that jello from you?" a deep voice sounded from behind the girls. Mary and Lily turned on the bench to find James Potter hovering behind them.

"No, you can not, Potter. I'm very obviously _eating_ it."

"You _like_ that flavour?" James scrunched his face up, incredulously.

"You asked me for jello that you don't even like?"

"Oh no, no, I love it. I was just banking on you not." he explained.

"Sorry, Potter," she flipped, turning back toward her plate. "Find another victim."

"Brodeur?" he begged to his Quidditch teammate.

"I already gave mine to Peter…" she offered, lamely.

"WHAT? Peter took _mine!_ " he whined. Anna shrugged her shoulders sheepishly as he moved his eyes to Marlene. "How 'bout it, McKinnon?"

She shoved a spoonful of the orange substance into her mouth with a smile as he glared. "You birds are menaces." With that, he spun on his heels and headed back to his usual place at the end of the table where the other Marauders (sans Sirius) were eating.

Lily watched him retreat before turning to her friends and blinking. "Do I exist?"

"What?"

"Like can you see me right now? I'm in a white shirt, black jumper, just like you lot. Do you see me? Am I invisible? Maybe there's something on my face?"

"What are you _talking_ about, Lil?"

"I am the only one of you barmy witches who has a perfectly untouched jello sitting in front of her and he just ignored my existence!" she said, in exasperation.

"That's good, right?" Anna offered, around her mouthful of potatoes. "He's finally off your back."

"He's _been_ off Lily's back all year. Especially recently. Finally got some sense, I guess." Marlene mused.

Lily considered this and realized she didn't feel the sense of relief or victory she had always anticipated would present itself in this moment. "Did I _do_ something recently?" She looked to Mary for support but Mary's eyes were glued to her jello. "Mary?"

Mary's eyes shot up in a nervous panic. "What? No, of course not! Guess he just realized you're too lovely for him, Lils." This drew an eyeroll from the redhead.

"Personally," Anna mumbled, stuffing another bite into her mouth. "I think this deserves celebration." She lifted her glass of pumpkin juice. "Here, here! On this fine afternoon of March tenth, James Potter has in fact _not_ indulged in the presence of our very own Lily Evans."

Marlene lifted her own glass. "He didn't ask her out!"

"Or serenade her!"

"Or charm the chicken to dance on her plate!"

Mary snorted. "I _forgot about that one!_ "

"He didn't compare her eyes to emeralds—"

"—or her hair to flames."

"Flames of _desire_ in his _heart_." Marlene amended, causing the three girls to burst into giggles. "Congratulations, Lily, the end of an era has finally arrived!" Lily mustered a smile, but as she quickly flicked her gaze back toward the end of the table, she caught hazel eyes looking right back at her, as she had so many times over the past six years. As the girls clinked glasses of pumpkin juice with each other, she realized she didn't quite mind those eyes as much as she once thought she did.

…

"There she is," Remus pointed in a hushed tone. Juniper Alessio was nestled in a corner of the common room with her friends, telling an animated story as the girls around her giggled with admiration.

James nodded. "Yeah, okay." He took a breath before walking toward the cluster of fifth year witches. As he approached, Juniper caught his eye and offered him a cheerful smile, as she continued telling her story. James grinned back, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stopped walking. She did not stop speaking but she eyed him with an _are you trying to get my attention?_ expression. He nodded quickly, smile still in place.

"—but the funniest part is that it wasn't a puffskein at all. It was a _kappa!_ "

James couldn't help but allow his own grin to grow as Juniper's audience erupted into cackles. He hadn't even heard the story, but the cheerfulness with which she delivered the punchline was enough to improve a mood. He observed how the brightness of her teeth was reflected in her green eyes. _Green eyes._ He quickly shook his head, remembering his mission. Juniper. Juniper.

"Hey, James," she beamed, sauntering over. "Is this a business call or were you just trying to catch the end of my story?"

He chuckled, a hand moving to his hair. She watched the motion with a curiosity that boosted James's confidence. "Actually, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Yes, it's a skunk."

"Wh-what?" he sputtered, thrown off.

"You weren't going to ask me about my patronus?" she asked, innocently, her eyes dancing with humor at how off-guard he had been set.

The tall wizard erupted into laughter. Her hands rested, jauntily, on her hips as she simpered along, allowing him to gather himself. It was obvious that she was enjoying herself. "Okay, you have to let me talk or else I'm going to keep standing here laughing like an idiot." Her grin grew. "I wanted to know what your plans were for this weekend."

"This weekend, as in…Hogsmeade weekend?"

"The very same."

"Oh," she quipped. "Well...I have Quidditch practice."

"Oh, okay, I under-" He reeled back. "Wait, you _what?_ You have…"

"Quidditch."

"How can you…you have…"

"Are you trying to ask how I can possibly have Quidditch practice because you're the captain of the Gryffindor team and you know for a fact that you cut me during try-outs?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in a challenge.

He turned red. "I…I mean…" Time seemed to freeze.

Now it was her turn to crack up. "Lighten up, Potter," she cackled. "I'm only taking the mickey."

His eyes stayed frozen on her in horror. _She…she…what?!_ "What?!"

"I wouldn't have had time to be on the team anyway with O.W.L. prep!" she cried, cheerfully. "Honestly, you did me a favor with that brutal rejection."

"Brutal rejection…" he echoed, hollowly.

"James," she pressed, with a genuine smile. "I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you."

He continued to stare straight through her. "You…you would love…"

"To go to Hogsmeade with you, yes." she finished, setting her hand on his shoulder in an effort to recenter the wizard. "Meet you here in the common room Saturday at 10?"

"Saturday?" he squeaked, pathetically.

This only set off a new round of laughter in the pretty witch. "I'll see you around, Potter!" said the fifth-year before she turned and skipped— _actually skipped—_ up the stairs, leaving a shell-shocked James Potter staring at the place her feet had just been.

 **A/N: I know I promised some James/Lily soon, but it just didn't happen...I'm sorry. Although I hope you picked up on the tiny cogs just barely beginning to turn in Lily's heart.**

 **Also, exploring a lonely Sirius made me incredibly sad as I consider what twelve years in Azkaban must have been like. I think we see a similar side to Sirius in OotP when he is locked away at Grimmauld Place. The joy he gets at having Harry and the Weasleys over for Christmas? Absolute heartbreak. He's such an extrovert and my heart hurts to think about the majority of his life spent in isolation.**

 **Thoughts on our new friend (enemy? who knows?), Juniper? Thoughts on James ignoring the existence of Lily?**

 ***Fun fact: In elementary school, I had a kid in my class who had a crush on me from first to fourth grade and, at one point, he stood on the cafeteria table and sang me a song about my eyes being brighter than emeralds and chose to rhyme emerald with ephemeral. This kid was** ** _nine-years-old_** **and I honestly have spent every day of my life regretting the fact that I didn't marry him when I had the chance.**

 **Thanks for reading! Feel free to review, if you feel so inclined! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

***Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

…

"I quit." Lily declared, throwing her quill on the table and leaning back in her chair with an exasperated sigh.

Remus chuckled, shooting the redhead a quick glance out the corner of his eyes. "We're almost done."

"No, we're not!" she whined. "Because as soon as we finish this rubbish, we've got Charms, and then Ancient Runes. And it's _Tuesday_ which means—"

"Prefect rounds," Remus groaned. "Yeah, I know. I was just trying to be optimistic." He set his own quill on the table, rubbing at his temples.

"We've been at this for four _hours_. I want to _die_."

"Don't you _dare_ off yourself and leave me to finish this work alone, Lily Evans." Remus chastised her, wagging a dramatic finger. "And how am I supposed to get through rounds by myself? All of those broom closets!" he shuddered, comically.

"From what I hear," Lily smirked, straightening up in her chair, "you're not so unfamiliar with broom closets these days."

The werewolf's head whipped around. "Pardon?"

"Oh, nothing," she sang, innocently. "I just thought I spied some longing looks between you and a certain Calliope Ostrom."

A deep blush tinged his cheeks. "Callie and I are…are…"

She cackled. "Relax, relax. I think it's cute. Callie's sweet…not to mention bloody _brilliant._ "

"Yeah…" he said with a bit of a smile. "I know."

"Remus Lupin with a girlfriend," Lily chimed, trying out the words.

He shook his head, fervently. "She's not my—"

"Hush," she rolled her eyes. "So, tell me, Lupin, how do the boyfriends feel about this development?"

"The boyfriends?" he echoed, uncertainly. Suddenly, his blue eyes jumped with unfortunate recognition. "Oh, Merlin, you mean James and Sir—and Peter," He broke off, clearing his throat to cover the automatic mistake. Lily chose not to comment on it, being unwilling to discuss the fourth marauder tonight. "Well, to be honest…I'm not quite sure what they think about all of it."

Lily laughed. "You're telling me that Potter hasn't given you his overwhelmingly loud opinion on…wait." She narrowed her eyes. " _Remus_ ," she drawled, slowly.

The Gryffindor boy had returned to his parchment, avoiding eye contact like dragonpox.

"Remus!" she repeated, louder, earning a sour look from some seventh years studying at the table nearby. She smiled an apology before dropping her voice and leaning close to her fellow prefect. "Merlin's beard, Remus, _they don't know._ "

"That's not true," Remus hissed, defensively. "Peter knows…"

"So you're just keeping this from _Potter_? How the mighty have fallen!"

"I just think he doesn't need extra baggage with everything going on."

"Remus," she eyed him, doubtfully. "I hardly think an update on your love life is going to do him in."

Lupin didn't look of sure. "He's…sensitive. With the Sirius stuff, I think he's wary of our group further breaking up."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"He's had a tough year, Lily—"

"Oh, give me a _break_. Because he lost a _Quidditch match_? Because his mum didn't up his allowance? _Because his houseelf didn't bow low enough upon greeting him?"_

"Lily, surely you don't think so little of him." He fixed her with an admonishing glare. "This Sirius stuff has been hard, for one. Not to mention everything with his parents."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed. James's parents were established as a well-off, older couple. They had James later in life and, shortly after, James's father had stumbled upon a discovery in magical chemistry which ultimately led to the successful creation of Sleak-Eazy Hair Gel. This had always struck Lily as ironic considering their son's inclination to go _au naturel_. "What about the Potters?"

"They got called back in to the ministry," Remus supplied.

"The ministry?"

"To jump back in as aurors."

"They were…aurors?" Lily was incredulous. She had always considered following that track herself, when the time for graduation arrived. At several Slug Club gatherings, she had made favorable impressions on various aurors.

Remus scrunched his nose in surprise. "Euphemia and Fleamont Potter are some of the best wizards the Ministry ever saw. In fact, they were _too good_ so they retired early to focus on James. It's why their family is so close. They set their careers completely aside to raise him." he explained before studying Lily. "You didn't know that?" Lily shook her head. "He talks about them non-stop. They're his heroes. Wants to be just like them one day."

The last line pricked a strange place in her chest. "Potter wants to be an auror?"

"Lily," the werewolf questioned, with a hint of accusation. "Have you ever even given James the time of day?" He watched her troubled face for a moment before picking his quill back up and returning to his essay. "He talks about more than Quidditch and girls, y'know."

For some reason, this offended Lily. "I know that!" With a start, however, she realized she _didn't_ know that. In fact, as she recalled various interactions over their six years at Hogwarts, she could not recall a single conversation that held substance. He had always been too concerned with chuffing himself up and tormenting Lily.

As she continued to sit in her thoughts, however, the prefect began to question whether this was even true. Had he always been as horrid as she thought? Or did she simply see what she wanted to see? James Potter had _parents_ and _career dreams_. It all made him quite human and Lily found herself being quite fascinated with this new knowledge.

"Does Potter have any siblings?"

"No," Lupin responded, not looking up from his work. "By the time they got pregnant with James, the Potters were a bit old. Plus…between you and me…I think James gave them more than they were cut out for."

Lily couldn't help but smile a bit. "But they're close?"

"Incredibly. He owls his mum at least three times a week." Immediately, Remus's mouth twitched as if he had just said something he was not supposed to share. On the contrary, Lily found this information incredibly endearing.

"Were they both Gryffindors?"

"Lily," Remus sighed, setting his quill back down. "Not that I don't want to continue relaying the Potter Family biography to you, but why don't you ask _James_ all this?"

"I can't do that," she said quickly.

"And why not?"

"Because," Lily began, fumbling for a reason that wasn't ridiculously immature or lame. "Well, because, quite frankly, we haven't spoken to each other since fifth year."

Remus rolled his eyes, choosing not to respond.

"What was _that_ for?" she pressed in irritation.

Remus lazily lifted his eyebrow. " _That_ was me being _so over your dramatics._ "

Lily scoffed. "Dramatics! I can't help that he's always been an absolute git around me and then just decided to start ignoring my existence!"

"Perhaps not," the wizard mused. "But it's a two way street, Lily. You could always try…talking to him?" he whispered the last part as if it were a major scandal to suggest. Lily shoved him.

"I hope you're not insinuating that I'm afraid to have a conversation with him, Remus Lupin," Lily quipped, eyes narrowed, dangerously.

"Oh, that's exactly what I'm insinuating, Lily Evans," Remus smiled, sweetly.

Lily's cool demeanor broke as she threw her hands in the air. " _What?!"_

 _"_ I think," Remus began with a small smile, "that you're afraid to find how quickly he would wreck your master plan to hate him forever." Lily looked ready to retort, but the wizard only held his hand up in a silencing motion. "When you stop _looking_ for the bad, James has a way of surprising people."

Lily wasn't even close to reaching the maturity needed to understand the accuracy of her fellow prefect's words. But she _did_ manage to feel the overwhelming weight. James Potter was _human_ and Lily had chosen blindness for six years. Remus's words struck a strange chord in her gut as she mulled them over for the next several days. Insulting a Gryffindor witch's bravery was a bold move and Remus Lupin had practically plowed into the opportunity.

In the spirit of growth, she resolved to prove her werewolf friend wrong. She could indeed have a real conversation with Potter and walk away unchanged. He wasn't a _god_ , for Merlin's sake.

...

The March Hogsmeade weekend arrived soon enough, much to the excitement of the Hogwarts student body. Students paired off and climbed in carriages, anticipating a day of escape from schoolwork and stress.

Lily opted to go with a large group of her friends, a mix of witches and wizards from various houses. However, after a couple hours of her words not being listened to as she sat, smooshed between a burly Ravenclaw boy and Marlene, at the Three Broomsticks, she chose to slip over to Scrivenshaft's to look through their stationary. She shuddered as she remembered that her mom would expect Lily to owl a "congratulations" card for Petunia's engagement.

The Gryffindor had always felt the most at-home among books and paper. The ability to escape the real world in lieu of the gardens at Pemberley or the bustling streets of New York City was truly magical—and given her status as a witch, that adjective was not used lightly.

The widowed Mrs. Scrivenshaft smiled as she entered the store, a broken bell dinging back and forth above the door as she stepped inside.

"Good morning, dearie," the elderly witch greeted.

"Morning," Lily smiled, politely, making her way to the back of the store where she knew various cards and letterheads could be found.

…

"I'm really sorry," Juniper muttered again, her hand plastered to her mouth.

James laughed, good-naturedly, looking down at his shirt. "It's all right, June, really! This shirt needed some character. I looked like a tosser when it was just a normal blue without the brown spot."

"I'm more worried about the searing coffee I doused onto your chest, James. Is your flesh still _there_?"

He wriggled his head down the entrance to his shirt for dramatic effect. "Still there!" he assured her with another laugh. Noticing her doubtful stare, he threw his arm around her shoulder. "I'm _fine_ , June. Really stop stressing. We've got a full day ahead of us. Just because your spill means they won't allow us to step foot in The Three Broomsticks ever again—" She jabbed her elbow into his side. "—doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves elsewhere." he managed through his persisting laughter. "To Honeyduke's?"

She sighed, although her mouth was split in a smile. "To Honeyduke's."

…

 _Congratulations on your dragon!_

Lily had to stifle a laugh as she picked up a card that quite literally emitted a small flame from it when opened. Petunia would absolutely _die._

 _My condolences on your lost snapple._

Lost _what?_ The wizarding world was so strange and, it was in humorous moments like this that Lily wondered if she would ever truly understand everything. As she continued to scan the shelves with her finger, she got a few more laughs from variously specific cards, until finally landing on the engagement/marriage stationary.

 _Congrats on your engagement! May you have a life of happiness and fertility._

Lily actually released a snort on this one. Petunia would surely burn it. She continued to peruse the marriage section, finally settling her eyes on a pretty pink card. Pulling it from the shelf, her eyes glistened with mischief.

 _The happiest of wishes to your engagement! I hope your union is magical!_

It was so close to being normal, Lily knew she couldn't get in trouble with her mum for choosing it. But Lily also knew her sister enough to know how equally horrifying and nauseating the card would be received by Petunia. The subtle, but present, use of the word ' _magical_ ' sealed the deal for Lily.

…

"Oh, hullo, McGuire," James nodded his head to the petite witch that had just intercepted their path on the way to Honeyduke's. Aloe McGuire was the fifth-year Seeker for the Gryffindor quidditch team.

"Potter, Junie," she nodded, cheerily. "Are you coming to The Three Broomsticks?"

"Actually," James began, shooting a teasing glance to the humiliated girl next to him, "we came from there just a bit ago. June here got us kicked out."

"Kicked out?" Aloe's brown eyes widened in awe.

"I did _not,_ " Juniper wined. "I spilt a bit of coffee on James so we left to avoid further embarrassment."

"Oh," Aloe nodded, still looking slightly unsure. "Well, if you care to come back in a bit, I'm headed there to meet up with Jill and Astrid and Will and the gang."

June paused for a moment, considering the offer before saying, "James and I were on our way to Honeyduke's, actually, but thanks for the offer!"

James watched the interaction and the light disappointment with which his date spoke. "Actually, June, why don't you go with McGuire and I'll meet you in there in half an hour and then we can walk over to Honeyduke's. If I recall…you never actually got to _drink_ any of that coffee…" He winked, flipping her a couple sickles out of his pocket.

"Oh no, James, it's okay, you don't have to—"

"Nonsense. Go have a drink with your mates and I'll catch up in a bit. I actually need to run a quick errand, and this way, you don't have to be dragged along later."

"Well," Juniper chewed on her cheek before grinning. "All right, sounds great. See you in half an hour?"

"Half an hour," James assured her. Her smile grew and she boldly leaned up to plant a quick kiss on his cheek, smiling shyly and running off with her fifth-year friend. James paused for a moment in surprise, before a lop-sided smile of his own appeared, then turned around and headed up the alley.

…

As Lily grabbed the pink card from the shelf and began to meander to the front, she heard the familiar broken bell of the entrance. The outside chatter could be briefly heard before the door shut again.

"Mrs. Scrivenshaft!" a deep voice rang out cheerfully, forcing Lily to freeze.

"James, m'boy! Come in, come in!" A smile could be easily heard in the older woman's voice. "How've you been? The other boys have each stopped in this morning, and I started to think you'd forgotten about me."

Lily peeked around from her hiding place among the stationary shelves to see none other than James Potter, bustling toward the counter, pushing up the sleeves of his jumper.

"I couldn't forget you if I wanted to, Mrs. Scrivenshaft!" He hopped over the counter, easily, and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. "And besides, who's shop would I hide from McGonagall in if I cut ties with you!"

The older witch swatted his arm, affectionately. "Oh, hush, you." She closed the cash register and turned more fully toward the wizard, who was now sitting on the countertop, legs crossed. "I remember the days of old when I actually thought you lot would grow out of this marauding business."

 _Marauding business._ Did Scrivenshaft _name_ them?

"Wishful thinking, old lady," he joked, winking at the woman. "We keep you young and you love it."

Mrs. Scrivenshaft rolled her heavily hooded eyes. "Yeah, yeah," Suddenly her eyes widened as she full took him in. "You get down off that counter, James Potter, you've been raised better than this," she swatted at him, once again. He threw his hands up to defend himself, though he was laughing through the altercation.

"Nope," he popped as he slid off the counter, "I was raised by wolves, don't you know?" Lily could see a twinkle in his eyes, even from her distant vantage point.

"He already came in this morning, y'know? First customer all day in fact. Had a pretty little lass with 'im, too! She bought some bright purple ink which I think shows some spunk."

 _How had she just jumped from wolf to boy?_

"Yeah, well, Remus always likes to be early for everything."

 _When had Remus even been brought up?_

"Y'know who I haven't seen in a while?" she mused as she wiped the counter where James's muddy trainers had just been planted.

"The Minister," James guessed, dramatically.

She swished her towel toward him. "No, not the _Minister_ , you deviant. I would never do business with that scum," Lily had to bite her tongue to keep from giggling and revealing herself at this point. James didn't even try to conceal his own bark of laughter. "I was talking about your partner-in-crime, Mr. Sirius Black."

Lily strained her eyes to catch a glimpse of Potter's expression, but he kept it stoic enough. "Really? Hmm, I'm sure he's just been busy."

"Too busy to come in here and give me a hug? They're working you boys too hard up at that school."

"That's what I've been saying for years."

"Well, what about you?" she asked, using her wand to do a quick _scourgify_ of the towel before neatly folding it and placing it under the counter. "I haven't seen a lady on your arm in a while?"

"Er—just been enjoying the year with my mates, I suppose."

The elderly witch eyeballed James. "So you're still hung up on that—"

"Oh ho!" James's hand flew to his hair. "You know, Mrs. Scrivenshaft, speaking of my mates, I really should be getting back to them…"

She rolled her eyes, waving him off nonetheless. "Fine, fine. I have a customer anyway. Bye, James dear. Give your parents my love!" The broken bell rang as James sauntered out of the store. She looked towards the book shelves with scrunched eyes, before mumbling to herself. "Actually, she's been in here for a while…maybe I should check…"

As the witch walked from behind the counter and began to head toward the stationary section, Lily realized with a start that she was the customer in question. Her eyes widened as she grasped her dilemma. Not wanting to be caught in her currently obvious place of eavesdropping, she made her way up the aisle, toward the counter.

Lily arrived at the old, wooden counter and set Petunia's card down, waiting for the older witch to return to the front. The redhead felt a twinge of guilt at making the elderly woman walk all the way around the store looking for her.

"Oh, there you are, dear! Find everything you need?"

Lily smiled. "Yes, ma'am, I did, thank you."

The witch returned to her station behind the counter and took the card from Lily. "Someone got engaged?" she asked, slowly leaning down to fetch a small bag.

"My sister," Lily nodded.

"Oh, how exciting!" The woman beamed at Lily before noticing the hesitation in the younger witch's eyes. "Oh my, she's one of those sisters, is she?" Lily's face relented a small smile of confirmation. "I have nine sisters and only three of them are any good."

Lily's eyes widened. "N-nine sisters?"

The woman's eyes crinkled as she slid the small card into a bag. "I'll say this, dear, you don't get to pick your family…but you also only have the one…no matter how many sisters you have," she added, with a small wink, handing Lily her bag. "I find that time is the panacea for all hurt. You'll make amends one day." She sounded so cheerfully confident, Lily couldn't help but believe her.

The Gryffindor reached into her pockets for a couple sickles but Mrs. Scrivenshaft stopped her, "No, no, no, you keep that. It was only a bit of parchment. You just promise to come back in and see me again, all right, Miss…?"

"Lily."

"Miss Lily," the witch smiled. Lily took the bag, graciously, and began to turn toward the door, calling over her shoulder, "Thank you so much! Have a good—" but as she leaned onto the door to push it outwards, she found that it wasn't there, and in its place was open air and the sound of a broken bell. As she continued to fall with gravity, she was suddenly met with resistance in the form of a quickly approaching blur of a body.

"Oh Merlin, I am so sor— _Evans?_ "

Lily sputtered, looking up at the boy standing above her in the doorway, hazel eyes and raven hair matching in their wild appearance. "Hi," she said, weakly, pushing off the ground. He quickly shoved his hand toward her and she detested how easily he was able to lift her to an upright position.

"Are you…okay? I just came in here to ask Mrs.—and I just…are you okay?"

Lily blinked a couple times, surveying herself. Noticing no visible scrapes or wardrobe malfunctions, she forced a small smile. "Ship shape."

James looked skeptical. "You sure, Evans, because I—"

"Evans?" Mrs. Scrivenshaft's voice rang out from behind them, pulling the teenagers from their reverie.

"Er—yes, ma'am?" Lily responded, nervously.

"Oh…no, dear, I was just becoming acquainted with your last name," she reassured Lily with a smile, before shooting a look to James that Lily didn't understand.

"I'm so sorry," James repeated, in a daze, not noticing the shopkeeper's glare.

Lily couldn't help but chuckle awkwardly. "I'm totally all right. Really, Potter, I can handle a little tumble."

"Right," he nodded, still not completely present. "Well, er…have a good day, Evans, Mrs. Scrivenshaft." With a small nod toward each woman, he swiveled around and bustled back out the door.

Lily turned to the white-haired witch with a quizzical glance. "Didn't he say he came in here to ask you something?"

A small smile played at the corners of Mrs. Scriveshaft's chapped lips. "I think he found whatever he was looking for, dearie. Have a nice day, Lily Evans. I'm quite positive I'll be seeing you again soon."

...

 **A/N: This chapter had a lot of back and forth, so I hope it wasn't too confusing. Mainly trying to establish a few characters who will become more important as this story progresses *winky face***


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Each of these chapters gets a bit longer, I swear. It's the blasted holidays. I have no obligations, thus no pressure to go to sleep at a** **reasonable hour, and thus...here we are. Hope you don't tire!**

 *** Disclaimer: I still own absolutely nothing.**

…

The next Tuesday, Lily was put into a Ravenclaw prefect rotation because Remus had gone home to visit his mother. Since first year, Remus Lupin's mum had been suffering from a debilitating disease. Lily had always assumed it was cancer, but the handful of times she had brought it up to the wizard, he had avoided all questions. When Lily had been made prefect, McGonagall had held a special meeting with her instructing the young witch to practice grace when it came to Mr. Lupin's attendance. She didn't offer much information regarding the situation, but merely asked for Lily's patience with her partner. Of course, for Lily, there was never a question of whether or not she would treat Remus kindly. Regardless of the group he generally associated with, Lily had always counted him as a close friend and someone she greatly respected.

"Frankly, I don't know why we should have to pick up the slack on Lupin's laziness," the Ravenclaw sixth-year girl whined as she walked down the corridor, her male counterpart and Lily in tow.

"His mum is sick, Geneva," the wizard sighed, sounding as if this conversation had occurred before.

"So he shouldn't have agreed to a position he couldn't properly fulfill!"

Lily's ears burned as she listened to the witch prattle on about Remus. "He's doing the best he can. Besides, I don't mind picking up a little extra work every once in a while."

"Well, it doesn't just affect you, does, it Evans?" the girl snapped, before whispering "lumos" and pointing her wand toward a hidden alcove. "Because of your partner's absence, Wilder and I have to cover _double_ the area of patrolling."

"She can't do it _alone_ , Geneva…" the boy pressed.

"Well, why not? It's Gryffindor's problem, so let's leave it to Gryffindor."

"It's not safe for her to do rounds alone."

Lily walked between them, feeling odd that they were talking about her as if she did not exist. She was about to voice this concern when Luke Wilder cut her off.

"She's a muggleborn, it's too dangerous for her."

" _What?_ " Lily froze, whipping her head toward the tall boy.

Luke's eyes widened. "No, no, I didn't mean it that way…I just meant—"

"Well, how _did_ you mean it, Wilder? I'm a perfectly competent witch…even if I am _muggleborn._ "

"I know that, Lily! Of course I know—"

"Merlin, so dramatic." Geneva contributed, with disgust, as she continued to walk down the corridor.

"You want it to just be Ravenclaw?" Lily spat, past the point of rationality. "Fine. Have fun." She turned on her heels and marched back down the hall, no real location in mind.

As she marched down the long, dark corridor, her frustration only grew. She had poured almost six full years of hard work into this school and people still didn't see her as a fully-fledged witch. It was in moments like this that she was reminded of the gravity of this reality and exactly what it meant for her outside of the walls of Hogwarts. Within the castle, the prejudice was limited to name-calling and the occasional hex, but outside…there was a full-out war going on.

"You're lost, Ginge," a familiar voice rang out. Lily's head snapped up, looking for the source. Sirius Black stepped out from behind a statue, smirking and handsome as ever.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Leave me alone, Black."

"Well, good evening to you, too." he said, easily, sauntering over to her. "You don't look too good."

"Thank you," the redhead hissed. "What are you doing out after curfew?"

"What are _you_ doing out after curfew?"

"I'm a prefect," Lily reminded him with a menacing glare. "I had rounds."

"Me, too."

Lily rolled her eyes, continuing her destination-less walk down the hall.

"You really shouldn't be walking the castle alone at night, y'know?"

Lily turned on him, enraged. "Because I'm a _muggleborn_?!"

"No," Sirius piped, unfazed. "Because of werewolves."

Lily bit back a strangled chortle of laughter. "Werewolves, right." She shook her head in exasperation, picking up the pace.

His long legs easily fell into step with her strides. "Where are you going?"

"Back to the common room."

"No, you're not, the common room is that way."

"Get off my back, Black."

Sirius grinned. "Hey, that rhymed."

She ignored him, continuing to walk in silence.

"You're not going for a walk outside, are you?"

"No, I'm not going for a walk outside, I don't _enjoy_ breaking the rules like you idiots."

"Harsh, Evans," he feigned offense, before pressing on. "But are you sure? Not just telling me that to ditch me?"

Lily paused her march, sighing. "No, Black," she said, turning to look at him with unmasked curiosity. "Why does it matter?"

His mouth twitched. "Just wondering."

The witch thought to continue her interrogation for a moment, but realized she didn't have the energy nor patience for an argument. If Sirius was intent on her not going outside, chances are there was a justifiable reason, and…for tonight…that was enough. She yawned, stretching her arms above her head. "All right, Black, you win. I'm going to bed."

A small smile appeared. "Brilliant, I'll walk with you back."

"Black, I just said that—"

"I trust you! I'm headed back that way, anyway, though." he explained, quickly.

She paused. "Okay."

They walked in silence for a few moments, neither being willing to cut through the awkwardness as they both considered the past month. Lily broke first. "I uh…saw that you stopped sleeping in the common room…"

He shot a questioning glance at her, but seemed to find the authenticity he was looking for and replied, "Yeah, Dictator Potter decided to let me have my bed back."

"Well, that's…good…right?"

"I guess," he said, quietly, eyes back at his feet. The silence resumed.

After a few moments, he stopped walking, turning to the smaller witch. "Listen, Evans, I'm sorry I was a prat and pressured you about the letter. I _know_ how it feels to have family issues and want to just deal with it on your own and I'm sorry I pressed you."

Lily looked at him for a moment, emerald meeting steel. "You're apologizing?"

He scratched his neck, nervously. "How did I do?"

She looked at him for another extended moment before a grin broke out. "Absolutely rubbish."

His face froze for a moment, waiting for an angry outburst or snarky comment, before mirroring her own joy, with a beaming smile of his own. "Well, I think that—"

"I'm sorry, too," she blurted, words slurring together quickly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you when I knew you were just trying to be nice." Her grin grew. "I should have given you some grace knowing that was a new thing for you." A bark of laughter escaped his lips. "Sooo…friends?"

"Friends."

…

"C'mon, Pete, it's almost time."

Peter shifted, nervously. "Couldn't we ask Padf—Sirius—" he quickly amended at James's glare, "to come out with us? Just for tonight…"

"No," James barked. "We can handle it without that traitor."

"Prongs…" Peter winced. "Last month…he almost…things almost got out of hand."

"We can _handle it_ ," James repeated through his gritted teeth as he grabbed the invisibility cloak from his trunk.

"I'm too small to do anything, really, and you're just not limber enough to—"

" _Peter!_ " James sprung up from his bed. "If you want to stay in here and sleep in your cozy bed waiting up for _Sirius_ , then be my guest. I, for one, have a friend who will be painfully transforming into a murderous beast any second now, biting and tearing at his own skin if no one is with him. My mate _needs me_ and I am _going._ "

Peter paused for a moment, eyes wide before squeaking, "Okay, I'm coming."

James nodded, harshly. "Let me just check the map before we go." He unrolled the crinkled parchment. "Filch is at the east end…McGonagall's in her office." He continued to mutter the locations of various Hogwarts staff under his breath before pausing, abruptly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and squinting toward a spot on the map.

Wormtail noticed. "P-P-Prongs? Is everything all right?" He shifted closer to the tall wizard, struggling get a glimpse of the map. "Are we going to be caught or—"

"No, Peter, we're fine," he said, absentmindedly. "Sirius and Lily are together."

Peter's eyes widened once again. "Oh."

"Never mind," James waved off, folding the map up and shoving it into his pocket. "We have to get out there. Get under the cloak."

As the two boys descended the stairs a couple moments later, familiar laughter travelled up the staircase from the common room.

"You're _joking_!" Lily's distinct giggle could be heard. James's chest did a small constriction as he was reminded that he had never been the source of that angelic sound. Then, he immediately willed the constriction to go ahead and fully collapse his lungs since he had actually just used the words _angelic sound_ to describe her laugh ad felt that the only suitable punishment was death.

"Swear to Merlin," Sirius's voice followed through his own chorus of guffaws. "Didn't even realize that his eyebrows were green, too!"

James and Peter continued their silent descent into the common room, swinging behind the couch where Sirius and Lily were laughing, toward the portrait hole.

"I remember that! I thought it was an artistic statement of some sort!"

"Well," a smirk could be heard in Sirius's voice. "He _is_ a Hufflepuff."

A new howl of laughter from both teens ensued as James pushed open the portrait.

"Who's there?" Lily had suddenly jumped from her spot on the couch, aiming her wand toward the cloaked boys, who had frozen midstep in their exit.

Sirius rose, as well. "Lily, what are you looking at?"

Her eyes didn't move from the boys. "The portrait hole. It's open, don't you see?" She squinted toward the hole, obviously baffled and suspicious.

Peter glanced at James, looking for a cue. James's mind rushed with various scenarios, but all of them ended in an argument, points being docked, and Remus transforming alone. He looked back toward the sofa and could have sworn that Sirius's eyes locked with his.

"It's probably just the fat lady, Evans. I don't see anyone."

"No," she supplied, voice wavering with doubt and paranoia. "She can't open it from the front without a password. Someone opened it…from in here."

"Think of what you're saying, Ginge. We've been down here for half an hour and no one has come through."

Lily's eyes faltered. It was obvious that she was having a difficult time denouncing his practicality. "I'm going to check."

Sirius grabbed her shoulder, quickly, but gently. "You sit, barmy witch. I'll check." Lily hesitated, but relented, falling back onto the couch as the dark-haired wizard walked toward James and Peter.

Sirius made his way to the portrait hole as the other two boys held their breath. Sirius raised his wand and muttered, "Aparecium!" loud enough for Lily to hear before leaning dangerously close to the boys and hissing, "Go." Peter looked to James with his eyes wide before James nodded and stepped through the portrait. Sirius moved to stand in their place, closing the portrait behind them and saying, "I don't see anything, Ginge. Must have been a fluke."

…

The next morning, all four marauders were missing from breakfast. Lily felt a quick twinge of curiosity but decided against investigation in lieu of sausage. She was earlier than Anna and Mary, but she spied McCall already seated, so she sat in the vacant spot across from the auburn-haired witch.

"Morning!" Lily said, cheerfully, sliding onto the bench.

McCall looked up from her plate in surprise before settling into a small smile. "Good morning, Lily."

"No post yet?"

McCall shook her head, giving her attention back to her sausage and beans.

"How are you?" Lily meant it sound more casual than it came out.

"I'm…all right," McCall said slowly, focusing on her fork.

Lily reached for the pitcher of coffee and poured some into her mug, brandishing her want to do a quick heating spell of the beverage. It had always baffled Lily that the wizarding world made their coffee in pitchers and periodically reheated each individual cup instead of steeping a full pot. "No word from Olive?"

The witch shook her head again.

"Well, I'm sure she's okay. The professors would have told us if anything terrible had occurred."

This didn't seem to console McCall, but Lily simply sighed, giving up on her attempts at conversation and choosing to redirect her strength toward her plate.

…

"Out," Healer Harding instructed, no trace of pity in her dark eyes.

"But, Healer, we only want to see—"

"No," she insisted, firmly. "We go through this every month. Mr. Lupin is not allowed visitors for 24 hours!"

"We have his homework! He needs us!"

"He most certainly does not. Sirius Black already brought him his homework, but _nice try._ "

This succeeded in immediately stopping James's pleas for entrance into the hospital wing. His eyes clouded as he stepped toward the witch. "Healer Harding, did you say Sirius Black was here?"

"Indeed, I did."

"And you let him in to see Remus?"

"Of course not!" she shrieked in her trademark bird-like voice. "He snuck in!"

James seemed to consider this for a moment, shooting a dark glance at Peter. "All right, we'll be back tonight."

"Very well, very well, now hurry along. You'll miss breakfast!"

…

For some reason, Lily had a difficult time focusing during the school day. Exams were upcoming and she could really use the practice in Transfiguration but she found that her eyes kept trailing to James. The Marauders sans Remus had turned up in Charms immediately after breakfast and made no mention of their skipped meal. Now in Transfiguration, Sirius sat at his seat in the far-left front corner of the room, while James and Peter occupied their typical second-row center desks.

Ever since her conversation with Remus, Lily was having a difficult time anchoring her thoughts when she was near James. The breakthrough about his parents and his career dreams had stuck out for some reason and she couldn't seem to push the wizard from her mind.

Remus's challenge for her to have a _real_ conversation with the boy also pricked at her head.

"—and the correct incantation is?" McGonagall's voice cut through her thoughts. "Anyone?" The Transfiguration professor's lips pursed as she folded her hands in front of her, obviously not moving on until someone volunteered the answer. "Mr. Wood?" Lily's heart sank as the older witch began sniffing out victims. Transfiguration was easily Lily's worst subject and she hadn't even read the chapter she was supposed to read. The professor called a few more students before settling on, "Mr. Potter."

It was more of a statement than a question. Everyone knew how frustratingly adept James was when it came to transfiguration.

"I…I don't know, Professor," he answered, quietly, his eyes dropping to his desk. Lily's own eyes scrunched as she studied the boy. In her six years of knowing the wizard, a statement as uncertain as "I don't know" had never been uttered from the lips of James Potter. As she continued to watch him, she noticed a fresh, green bruise on his left cheekbone. There was a badly patched gash behind his ear, too.

McGonagall seemed taken aback as well. She paused with her eyes on James for a moment before blinking and turning back to the class. "Very well," she began, disappointment evident in her voice. "Since it appears my assigned readings were not taken seriously last night, you can all present ten inches of parchment on chapter sixteen tomorrow." Groans could be heard throughout the room as Professor McGonagall returned to the front of the room. "Quiet! This is a classroom, not a circus. Put your wands away and pull out your quills. It appears we are not prepared to do wandwork today."

…

"Thirty minutes. That's it. He needs to sleep, do you boys hear me?" Peter and James nodded profusely toward the healer before jumping around her and rushing to their bed-ridden friend. He was sitting up, appearing to be boosted by every pillow in the wing. Looking around, the boys noticed he was the only student in the wing and it seemed as if he had taken full advantage of this fact.

"Got enough pillows there, Moony?" James grinned as Remus looked up from his book with a start.

"I didn't think—oh Merlin." he stopped speaking abruptly, eyes widening in horror. "James, your face…I didn't…"

James turned his face to the right, shielding Remus's gaze from his bruise. "Nah, this is from the willow. Gave me quite a good womp last night, isn't that right, Peter?" The lumpy boy nodded, profusely…nervously.

"James," Remus groaned, struggling to sit up higher off the pillows. The bespectacled boy rushed to help him but Remus held his hand up, eyes wincing closed. He sighed as he relaxed into his new position. "James, this can't keep happening. It's getting worse…"

"It's fine, Moony. It was just a bit of a rough night. We've had plenty of rough nights!"

"Prongs," Remus fixed him with a glare. "Every moon this term has been _rough_. It's only gotten worse. Did I...get onto the grounds this time?"

James stared at the quilt as Peter fidgeted.

"Merlin," Remus's crystal blue eyes widened again. "I could have…if I'd…no." A shadow passed over his face before his features hardened. "That's it. Y'all can't keep doing this. No more."

"No offense, mate, but you do realize that you have absolutely no ability to stop me, right?"

"James," the werewolf implored, desperately. "The two of you aren't enough. I came out of the forest last night. That's all well and good when we've got a dog who can keep up with me and cool me off. But a rat and a deer?"

"Stag."

"What are you going to do, _antler me_?"

"We hold our own! We just have to be more careful. Maybe staying in the shack would be a good…"

"James, if you try to make me stay in the shack when I'm transformed, I'll kill you. I know I will. I…the werewolf…he knows what it's like to roam and he's never going to be okay staying in that shack again. Not with y'all there. You have to let me transform alone."

"Moony," Peter piped up. "We can't do that, mate…"

"You can and you _will_ ," Remus insisted. "I did it alone for years, I'm certainly capable now. It's just too dangerous without all three of you."

"Everything we _do_ is dangerous, Remus! You're our brother, we're not going to let you—"

"This isn't open for debate, James!"

"If you would just be sensible—"

"I'm the only one who is _being_ sensible here—"

"You're not thinking about this all the way—"

"I'm a _werewolf!_ "

"We can't leave you—"

" _You're sounding like Sirius!_ "

James's mouth hung open, unsaid words evaporating. His face hardened. " _What?_ "

Remus closed his eyes, in an effort to garner patience. "You're valuing the _fun_ of my condition over human life. It sounds an awful lot like Sirius gambling Snape's life."

James reeled back as if he had been slapped. The prefect's words stung more than the physical gash he had given his friend the night before. He sat in silence, unsure of what to say.

"He came today," Remus said, quietly. "Sirius. He came this morning."

James chose not to explain his conversation with Healer Harding earlier, eyes not leaving the hospital quilt.

"Wanted to check in on me. Brought me some breakfast." Remus sighed. "It's been four months and I'm not going to pretend like I still hate him. I don't think I ever hated him."

The Quidditch captain continued to sit in silence, mulling over his friend's words.

"I think I'm ready…to forgive him."

James's eyes shot up at this. "What?"

"He'd do it for us."

"I don't _care_. Remus, he—"

" _I know._ But I'm just tired of all of it. I _know_ I should still be angry, and maybe a small part of me is, but when I see Sirius, I don't feel rage, I just feel…sadness. It's not the same without him, you _know_ it isn't the same, James."

"Yeah, I know." He paused for a moment before meeting the eyes of his hospitalized friend again. "But that's just not enough for me."

...

 **A/N: James and Lily have a real life conversation in the next chapter! Big stuff.**

 **Huge thanks and lots of love to all of you who have taken the time to review. I never knew that my joy could be tangibly expressed by the _ping_ of my email telling me I have a new review on here. xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Finally some** ** _real_** **James and Lily interaction. Still not the good stuff, but at least it's more than an awkward tumble in a quill shop, right? ;)**

 ***Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, including my heart.**

…

Lily heard him before she saw him, as was usually the case when James Potter entered a room.

He bustled into the Gryffindor common room, in tow with Remus and Peter, laughing at a joke, apparently at his porkier friend's expense, if the blush on Peter's face was any indicator. As per Lily's recent usual (and much to her own frustration), her eyes automatically followed James as he moved across the room with his mates. After a brief conversation where it seemed that James apologized to Peter or at least did the male equivalent of a heavy clap on the back, Remus and Peter went upstairs while James plopped down onto the couch.

"What are you staring at?" Mary's sharp voice sliced into Lily's observations. Lily quickly blinked and looked across the small desk to her friend, blankly. The curly-haired girl only rolled her eyes. "Your eyes have been glued to that side of the room for five minutes and I can't figure out what you're ogling."

 _Had it really been five minutes?_ "Oh, yes, sorry, I'm just a bit distracted today."

"You're _always_ distracted these days. You remember what I said? Lils, you can talk to me…"

Lily smiled warmly at her friend. "I know, Mary. I'm fine, really." She returned her eyes to the textbook sitting open in front of her and reread the same paragraph four times before standing abruptly. Mary's eyes followed the redhead's sharp movement. "I'm going to take a study break." Mary eyed her friend curiously for a moment before nodding and turning back to her own homework.

Remus's words racked around in her head. She wasn't _afraid_ of Potter. That insinuation was ridiculous. The two of them had simply never seen eye to eye on things in the past and the past year just hadn't provided opportunity for conversation. But she wasn't _afraid._

Before she could consider her actions, her rogue legs carried her body across the room and dumped her at the edge of the couch.

"Hi." Her tongue jumped ship and went AWOL along with the legs.

James's eyes looked up lazily from his book at the intruder before they widened and his body shot off the couch. His hand immediately jumped to his hair. "Hi."

"Hi."

"You said that."

What was she _doing?_

"Right." Lily could feel her legs adopting a jelly-like quality as she swayed. She needed to sit down. Now. "Listen, Potter, I know we don't really talk much—

"At all." James corrected, matter-of-factly.

"Er—right." Lily blinked nervously, pushing a few loose curl of red behind her ears. "But I wanted to speak to you about something."

"I didn't steal your prefect badge." he said, abruptly.

"Oh, yes, I know that," she assured him awkwardly, idly wondering how he knew she had even been missing it. She had found it on the floor of the sixth-year lavatory the night before after a three-day hiatus.

"And I didn't mean to hit you the other day at Scrivenshaft's, really."

"Yes, I know," Lily's eyebrows scrunched, confused why he was prattling defensively. "Potter, I'm not accusing you of anything right now."

"You're not?"

"No."

"But you're a prefect."

Lily sighed. This boy was _impossible._ "Just forget about that for a moment, okay?" She went so far as to unpin the Prefect badge from her jumper and place it in her pocket, gesturing to him with a dramatic _see?_ look and a forced smile. "Right now, I'm just Lily."

"Just Lily," he echoed.

"Exactly. So…" she tried again, shifting on her feet, uncomfortably. "Er—could we sit for a moment or something?"

James looked at the witch as if she had just asked him to don a light blue bonnet and transfer to Beauxbatons. "Okay." He sat down on the edge of the couch, back straight and barely making contact with the surface.

 _"_ Soooo," _why had she thought this was a good idea?_ "The other day, I was talking to Remus and he mentioned that your parents used to be aurors…"

The Quidditch captain's eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah."

"Well, I want to be an auror." This obviously took James by surprise. "So I wondered if you could tell me—"

"You want to be an auror?" he interrupted, loudly. She had expected this. Her dream of being on the front lines of the wizarding war had been kept mainly to herself over the years, but the handful of times she had mentioned it to a peer or professor, she generally received the same belittling response. The immediate surprise, then the warnings...then the pity.

"Er—yes. I know it's not the conventional track for me, but if I take double Defense Against the Dark Arts next year and work more closely with Professor Bo—"

"You'd be brilliant."

"I know, but I really think—" Beat. "Wait…what?"

He was staring intensely at her, hazel eyes not ashamed or blinking. "You'd be great as an auror. Definitely follow through with that plan." He shook his head rapidly, as if this was a sentiment that went nicely with _yes, actually, I would love a biscuit, thank you for asking._

Lily experienced an unfamiliar sensation from his words that she had never gotten from any other peers' compliments. She knew she was competent, but for some reason, hearing it from James made it feel like a brand new discovery, warming her from the bottom up and creating small bubbles of strange pleasure in her gut.

"Thank you," Lily smiled, realizing that she meant it. Had she _ever_ smiled at him before? Suddenly feeling the confidence to continue, she pushed. "Okay, so, your parents."

"My parents," he repeated with a nod of head, shoulders relaxing a bit.

"I was wondering...did they do the Auror Internship Program or apply straight in out of Hogwarts?"

"They did AIP, but it's absolute rubbish these days."

"Really?" Lily was taken aback. The Auror Internship Program-AIP, as it was commonly known-was a recruiting tool the Ministry had been using for at least fifty years to scope out good auror candidates. Witches and wizards who were accepted and managed to complete the program were almost always hired as full-time employees. It was difficult to even be considered for the program, but Lily's grades were top-knotch, and she certainly had a few useful connections, thanks to Slughorn, so she assumed she could be a strong contender.

"Yeah," he began, leaning back into the couch. "There's no practical application anymore. It's set up into a bunch of modules where they basically just make you go through school all over again. No field work until you're actually hired."

"But even then, it's not as if you'll be doing field work _without_ AIP…"

"Well, yeah, but AIP participants are notorious for ending up as desk work drones. Lots of cold-case rubbish. If you want _real_ action, it's best to apply straight in and show that you're capable. They treat AIP as kids. If you want to be taken seriously, go right in."

"Oh, okay, that's…helpful. Thank you." There she went, _meaning it_ again.

"Yeah, of course." Lily began to think that his head was bobbing of its own accord at this point. "Have you heard about Snowcroft's dueling club?"

"Dueling clubs generally don't—"

"No," he interrupted again. "Not Dover's dueling club. Those meetings are a royal waste of time. I'm talking about SNowcroft's club. It's basically an advanced DADA group for students interested in being aurors. Here," he paused, picking up his booksack and digging through it for a moment, eventually emerging with a scrap of parchment. "Seven o'clock on Thursday." He scribbled on the corner of the parchment before ripping it off and handing it to her. "That's our next meeting. It's _really_ helpful, Evans. Snowcroft knows what he's doing. He was an auror before he started teaching here."

Now it was Lily's turn to bob her head, spastically, attempting to absorb all of the information that James was pelting her with.

"We're working on defensive spells involving natural elements this week, so if you want to be caught up, it's chapter thirteen of this book," he reached back into his bag, emerging with an unfamiliar tome and plopping it onto her lap.

"Oh, okay…uh thanks," Lily offered, lamely.

"Actually," James continued, now in a frenzy. "Why don't you just take my notes on the chapter because the textbook has a lot of useless stuff, but these are pretty thorough."

"That's ok—" She was cut off as several pieces of parchment were added to the now accumulating pile in her lap. Lily picked up one of the parchments, squinting her eyes at the scrawl. "Potter, how do you read this? It's so…tiny."

He didn't respond, choosing to sift through the parchments on her lap and pull one out, scooting closer to her on the couch and shoving his finger at the page. "This one looks like a variation of incendio, but you have to be careful because it's actually more closely related to the bluebell flames." He continued to babble on as Lily watched him with wonder. Never, in all of her time at Hogwarts, had she heard someone—sans perhaps a professor—speak so passionately about defensive spells. His gaze was fixed on the page, rambling at a million metres a minute. In his distraction she was able to get a profile look at his eyes. It frustrated Lily beyond compare to not be able to nominally categorize them into a color. There were so many separate entities swirling around, each competing for attention and visibility. They were so very _James Potter_ , she couldn't help but smile. Even the colors in his _eyes_ craved the spotlight.

"Evans?" Those eyes suddenly turned and met her own sage ones. A nervous grin popped onto his face. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

She was supposed to respond. She was supposed to say _something._

"Did I say something stupid?" he implored, gaze shifting in obvious worry.

Her lips twitched again as she realized he was actually self-conscious. James Potter was _nervous_. And Lily Evans—she realized with a start—almost found it _endearing_. "Not this time, Potter." she quipped, with a small grin.

"Well, I have to get it right at some point, huh?" he replied, easily, a smile of his own sliding into place.

It was the longest conversation the two teenagers had held without hexes or awkward sputtering (well...after they got past that initial greeting). Lily was suddenly keenly aware of how easy it all was. She never knew that Potter had wit. Sure, he was bright; a bloody genius in practical classes like Transfiguration and DADA. And of course he was notorious for leading many a Marauder prank, revealing a proclivity for humor. But cheeky wit was something Lily had always felt she was the sole native speaker of, yet this boy—who had been there all along, really—seemed equally fluent.

"What d'you think, Evans? Gonna come?" At her blank stare, his grin grew. "To Snowcroft's dueling club?

"Oh, um…yeah, I think I will."

"Great," he said, cheerfully.

"So," Lily rolled on, not quite willing to end the conversation, "are you going to tell me how you got that book?"

"Professor Snowcroft gave us—"

"Not the defense book." she cut him off, leaning across him to snatch the book he had been reading when she approached him. "I know this book. It's usually kept in the restricted section. I requested it last year from Madame Pince—had a permission note from Slughorn and everything. She wouldn't budge."

"Well, Evans, a little sweet talk can go a long way with our dear librarian and—"

" _Potter._ "

"Filched it a couple nights ago."

"Thought so. What does a witch have to do to borrow a book like that?" Lily inquired, conspiratorially.

"Why, Evans, are you insinuating that—"

"Hi, James! Lily!" a cheery voice sang, plopping onto the couch between them. Lily blinked with a start. Juniper Alessio was the fifth-year girl prefect and Lily had always really taken to her. It was hard to dislike a girl with such a knack for smiling.

"Hi, Junie, how are you?" Lily smiled back, brightly.

"Oh, just trying to think happy thoughts instead of contemplating my own death as I prepare for O.W.L.s." she chirped, ever cheerful.

Lily laughed. "You still have more than a month. You'll be fine!"

"Easy for you to say! You blink at a Pepper Up Potion and it assembles itself, saying 'Yes, Miss Evans, anything for you, Miss Evans.'"

Lily continued to laugh as James contributed, "I think the term you're looking for is _Lovely Lily_."

Juniper's chime of laughter escalated as Lily noticed the way James had leaned toward the younger witch to address her and had not moved back to his original position. _Interesting._

"I don't want to interrupt anything," June began, looking as if she truly felt sorry for the intrusion on the sixth-years, "but I was just coming to see if Quidditch was tonight or tomorrow? I can never remember your barmy schedule."

The messy-haired wizard's hand returned to it's comfortable residence on top of his head. "Er—it's tonight _and_ tomorrow."

"Ja- _ames_ ," the fifth-year whined.

" _But_ its scheduled to be a short one tonight!"

"Really?"

"No." James admitted, sheepishly before throwing her a wink. "But I might be able to pull some strings. I happen to be cozy with the captain and he's a _very_ understanding bloke."

Lily watched the two teenagers interactions with growing interest. In third and fourth year, James had a girl of the week. Obnoxious giggles followed him (and the rest of the Marauders) down every corridor and into every classroom. He breathed and girls applauded. It was unpalatable, and thankfully, Mary and Marlene were the only girls of Lily's friend group to ever fall for the Marauder charm, temporarily fancying Remus and Sirius, respectively. Of course, it only took a few weeks of being ignored by Remus and a few minutes of being crudely flirted with by Sirius for _those_ phases to pass.

Fifth year recollection still made Lily shudder as she recalled the day James's attention had turned to her. It had always been a game to him. Lily Evans was uncatchable and James was determined to catch her. Of course, that had only succeeded in souring the redhead's taste for the pompous prat and had, ultimately, ended in disaster; that formidable day by the lake.

Sixth year had produced a new James entirely, though. He hadn't taken a single Hogsmeade date, to Lily's knowledge—not that the girls weren't waiting by the bushels, Lily recalled with disgust. He just seemed to prefer being with his friends this year. Lily tried not to let her bitterness best her as she considered the fact that Sirius was no longer a part of that group. But Juniper Allesio? She was peppy and animated and genuinely kind. James Potter had _certainly_ never taken an interest in someone like her before. Yet here they sat before Lily's own eyes, unabashedly flirting and…holding hands?

Lily's eyes widened a bit at the boldly interlocked digits that rested, lightly, on Juniper's knee. "I should go back to Mary. I kind of abandoned her over there. " She jammed her thumb toward the corner table where she assumed her friend was still dutifully working on Transfiguration.

"Oh, okay," Juniper almost sounded veritably sad to see the older witch go. "Well, if you want any company, we'll be over here, trying not to cry our eyes out about O.W.L.s." James nudged her with a good-naturedly condescending smile. "Well," she amended with a roll her eyes. " _I'll_ be over here trying not to cry my eyes out. James will likely be encouraging the spectacle, the prat."

Lily forced a smile at the couple, profusely avoiding eye contact with the curious hazel gaze she could feel boring into the top of her head as she looked down, before standing and walking back to Mary's table, silently sliding into her seat.

Mary's posture didn't register the redhead's presence. "How was the study break?" she said, without looking up.

"Good," Lily said, quickly, opening her book back up and blinking a few times to clear her head.

"Anything interesting?"

"No."

"Oh, I'm sorry, let me rephrase," Mary's strikingly beautiful blue eyes shot up. "Did _James_ _Potter_ say anything interesting?"

Lily flushed. "N-no. We were just chatting."

"Since when do the two of you _chat?_ I thought he was finally leaving you alone."

"He was—er…is. I approached him," she explained, before continuing in response to Mary's raised eyebrows. "Just some questions about his parents being aurors."

"Why do you care about that?"

"Just curious."

Mary's nose scrunched up. "Do _you_ want to be an auror?"

"Maybe," Lily faltered, feeling the familiar doubt that often accompanied these sort of conversations.

"Why? It's terribly dangerous, the pay is awful, hours are rubbish. Not to mention it's _really_ difficult to get accepted into the training program…"

"I was actually thinking of skipping the program and applying straight in," Lily said, confidently, remembering James's words.

Mary's eyes widened. "What? No offense, love, but you'll never get hired that way. You have to be bloody _brilliant_ to even be considered. It never happens."

The words stung Lily, but not as much as they should have. The redheaded witch recalled another use of the word _brilliant_ only a few moments before. James hadn't used it to describe the auror acceptance requirements, though.

He had used it to describe _her._

...

 **A/N: We still have a long way to go, my friends, but the tables are beginning to turn for our favourite Gryffindor couple!**

 **(I just went through this for one last grammar sweep and had to change SIX uses of "y'all" to something a little less _I'm from Texas, howdy, nice to meet ya_. You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't make her adapt to normal English.)**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm not going to lie to y'all. This one is a bit lengthy. Oops.**

 ***Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR. Except Pip and Estella; they are solely in the hands of Mr. Charles Dickens, the amazing man that he is.**

The next morning, Lily missed breakfast to search for her missing booksack. She had ended up being the last Gryffindor in the common room the night before, finishing her Transfiguration essay. At some point between midnight and sunrise, she had fallen asleep at the small desk. When the sun began to shine through the large windows and invaded Lily's consciousness, she had groggily gathered her parchment and headed upstairs to try and get at least an hour or so of conventional sleep in bed before her day began. In the drowsy frenzy, she had left her textbooks and other school supplies behind.

When she rolled out of bed at the sound of her roommates' rustling a measly hour and a half later, her grumpy mood was only enhanced by the fact that she had no clean clothes to wear. Lily hated to make the houseelves do extra work so she always waited until the last minute possible to set her dirty clothes out, but the week had been draining and she had let herself dwindle to one clean set of robes and uniform. After her all-nighter, she had crashed into her bed without bothering to change and was now dealing with the consequence of a wrinkly outfit that probably needed to be washed a couple days ago.

The redhead brushed her teeth twice and dabbed her neck and wrists with a liberal amount of perfume in an attempt at _some_ sort of basic hygiene, but still barely made it out the door with ten minutes left for breakfast. Then, remembering that Friday schedules allowed no time between breakfast and her first class, she raced back up the stairs to grab her booksack. It was nowhere to be found in the dorm, however, and when she finally recalled it's abandoned location in the common room, it was unaccounted for. Realizing that it was better to show up to lessons unprepared than to not show up at all, she sprinted to Charms, praying to Merlin, Morgana, and Dumbledore himself that Flitwick would have mercy.

"Miss Evans, hurry in, hurry in," the small professor piped from the front of the class as Lily slid in, trainers making an obvious squeak as she halted, breathlessly, from her dash.

Lily nodded a quick apology before sliding into the open seat by Anna, ripping the ponytail out of her messy braid and throwing it up into an equally disheveled bun. Anna peered at her friend out the corners of her eyes. "You smell awful." she whispered.

Lily glowered. "Thank you."

"No, really, Lily," Anna scrunched her nose up for emphasis, leaning away from her friend. "Did you sleep in the Forbidden Forest?"

"No, I did not sleep in the _Forbidden Forest_ ," Lily hissed, sharply.

Anna merely gave a quick shrug and returned her attention to Flitwick. After a few more moments, however, Anna turned back to Lily. " _Lily,_ " she muttered. "I'm not messing around. You legitimately smell like hippogriff dung."

"I _get it_ , Anna," Lily spat, becoming increasingly angry at her friend's pestering.

"No, you _don't_. I'm trying not to get sick in the middle of class, but you're—"

 _Hippogriff dung._ Anna had said she smelled like _hippogriff dung._

But that couldn't be right because Lily had never been near a real hippogriff or any creature that may find residence in the Forbidden Forest, really. After fifth year, she hadn't chosen to take Care of Magical Creatures. The only contact with magical beasts she ever had was in Potions when she dealt with samples of blood and fur and— _no._

The previous day, Slughorn had allowed Lily to take the ingredients necessary for a cauldron of Philter of Reality. Potions Club had run over into Prefect meeting so Lily had dashed out in a hurry, throwing the various vials into her booksack. In an effort to avoid the spilling of said vials onto her belongings, she had removed them immediately after the prefect meeting and hastily set them on her bedside table, right by…her perfume.

Lily quickly listed off the ingredients of Philter of Reality in her head: fluxweed, blue ribbon lax, centipede juice, and… _hippogriff feces._

 _No._

Suddenly, the Gryffindor was standing from her desk.

" _Lily,_ " Anna hissed, looking at Flitwick with frantic caution. The professor's back was currently turned toward the girls, but he would no doubt revolve very soon. " _What are you doing?_ "

"I have to go," she whispered, absentmindedly, sweeping out of the classroom at once.

As soon as she slipped behind the doors, she took off toward Gryffindor tower. The trek seemed to take ages and by the time she got to the portrait, she noticed that her watch only showed twenty minutes until Transfiguration. Determined not to miss two classes in one day, she quickly muttered the password.

"Incorrect, dearie," the fat lady sung out.

Lily blinked. "What?" she stuttered, in a daze. "The password is _paleo_. It got passed out at the prefect meeting last night."

"It changed again this morning, I'm afraid. It was passed out at breakfast," the portrait said, not sounding at all apologetic.

"Miss…er—ma'am, please, I'm a prefect. See? I have a badge. I missed breakfast this morning, but I _really_ need to get in to take a shower." she cried, desperately. "I've gone to school here for six years."

"Ever heard of polyjuice potion?" the woman questioned, popping her ps with dramatic flair. "How do I know you aren't a murderous intruder? Sorry, dear, but I cannot let you in without a password."

Lily scowled, determined to go to the fifth floor prefect lavatory. Moaning Myrtle was worth the trouble as long as she could get rid of the literal _shit_ that was clinging to her neck. As she whirled away from the portrait, however, she was hit with a body.

" _Oi,_ Evans," a deep voice groaned. "We have _got_ to stop meeting like this."

Lily opened her eyes through her grimace to see James Potter clutching his arm and holding her…booksack?

"And you have got to _slow down._ I just chased you through the entire castle, and I have got to say, Evans, I'm impressed with your athleticism."

"Why aren't you in Charms?"

"Why haven't you ever tried out for the Quidditch team?"

" _Potter._ "

"I saw you escape and realized you were probably looking for—"

"Why do you have my booksack?"

"Well, _like I was saying_ , I was following you to give it to you."

She grabbed it, roughly. "No," she said, sternly. "Why did you have it at _all_?"

"Oh," he began, blinking rapidly, "well, when I came downstairs this morning, I saw all of your rubbish out by the desk so I grabbed it to give you at breakfast, only you weren't at breakfast. I held on to it waiting for you to come in, but you never—"

"I skipped breakfast to look for this bloody bag!" she interrupted, angrily.

James took a small step back, hand raising to his hair. "Merlin, I'm sorry, Evans, I was just trying to be helpful. I only thought—"

"Well, don't try to be _helpful_ , Potter," she said, icily. "I looked _everywhere_ for this bag, not knowing that it had been ruddy _stolen!"_

"I didn't _steal_ it! I thought you had forgotten it and went to breakfast so I just grabbed it for you!" his voice had escalated to meet her own, small hints of red tinging his ears as his anger rose. "You could be a little more grateful and a little less bitchy, y'know, Ev—"

"Oh, don't you _dare_ call me bitchy, Potter! You had no right to go stealing my bag from the common room. This is so _typical_. Anything to get the last laugh, right, _Potter?_ I tried to be a normal functioning human and have a nonvolatile conversation with you for _once_ last night and it was just _too much_ , huh?" She was practically shaking with anger now, swinging easily back into her old ways. This was familiar territory when it came to matters of James Potter. Argue. Fight. Hex. Repeat. "God, will you ever _grow up_?"

When she finished her rant, however, she noticed that James didn't play his part. For the first time in almost six years, he missed his cue. She finished yelling so it was his turn. But he just looked at her with an odd expression before running his hands through his hair, one, two, three, four times and sighing. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Lily was speechless.

"I honestly thought you'd left it. I didn't think about how it would only make you more confused and unprepared. I'm sorry, I should have considered that."

"You're…sorry," she spoke the words as if she was scared they would split her tongue in two.

"Yeah," he elaborated, eyes dropping to the floor. "Listen, I should get back to the classroom. I left my stuff with Remus…" He turned and began to slink off.

"Potter," Lily felt her mouth move of it's own accord.

He whipped back around, expectantly. "Yeah, Evans?"

"Do you…er—know the password?" she asked, quietly, gesturing toward the portrait.

A flicker of disappointment flashed across the wizard's face. "Sepia," he said, blankly looking toward the small door that was now swinging open, before turning back around.

"Potter?" she called again.

He spun around again, this time with obvious confusion, and a hint of impatience, etched on his face. It almost stopped her next words.

"Thanks for…the bag," she held it up, pathetically. "Sorry I…yelled."

Lily watched a small grin play at the Quidditch captain's lips before she turned to enter the portrait. This time, it was him who spoke. "Evans?"

She turned her head, eyebrows raised in question.

"Go take a shower. You smell like absolute shit."

Before Lily could scoff or comment on his insult, he took off down the hall, grinning and _bloody whistling._

 _…_

James didn't manage to make it back to Charms before class let out, but it wasn't as if he had a necessarily strong aversion to skipping the occasional lesson. Remus and Peter met him in the hall, the former carrying his books.

"Where did you run off to anyway?" Peter asked as the three boys began walking to Transfiguration.

"Oh, I er…forgot something in the dorm."

"What did you forget?" Remus asked loudly, a knowing smile firmly in place.

The Quidditch captain glared at his friend. "My quill."

"You could have borrowed mine, Prongs!" Peter cried.

"Yeah, or mine, _Prongs!_ " Remus taunted with an eye roll. Remus fell back, dragging James with him. "Any chance your grand exit had something to do with Lily's coincidental escape a mere thirty seconds before your own?" he hissed, a painful grip on James's forearm.

The bespectacled boy jerked his arm away, grimacing. "It was nothing, I swear."

"I surely hope so, considering you're _over her_ and dating _another girl._ "

James shook off the werewolf's words and walked ahead to fall in step with Peter.

…

Freshly showered and back in possession of her school books, Lily made it to Transfiguration with a couple minutes to spare before McGonagall began class. As she slid into her usual seat next to Mary, she took a deep breath of relief.

"Did you just go for a morning swim in the Black Lake?" the blonde questioned, nose wrinkled in confusion.

Lily couldn't help but laugh. "I accidentally rubbed hippogriff feces on my body this morning, so I had to take a shower."

Mary looked as if she had a dozen questions for that statement but chose to go with, "A normal day in the life of Lovely Lily." before turning toward the front where McGonagall was beginning the lecture.

A few minutes into class, James caught her eye across the aisle and mouthed something unintelligible. Lily squinted her eyes in misunderstanding. James picked his booksack off the ground and pointed toward it before pointing back toward her, dramatically. Lily's eyebrows continued to furrow but she picked her own bag off the floor. She took a quick peek inside and immediately noticed an unfamiliar book. Pulling the tome out, her eyes widened. It was the book she had caught him reading the night before in the common room. The one Lily had been trying to get her hands on for a _year._

Sticking out the top was a roughly ripped parchment. She pulled it out of the pages it was smushed between and read it with a small smile.

 _Hope this book makes your day less_ ** _shitty._**

Lily had to physically restrain a giggle that threatened to explode from her mouth. Leave it to James Potter to turn a near-insult into a charming pun. She redirected her gaze back toward the Quidditch captain but was only met with the back of his unruly hair as he focused on the lesson at the front of the room.

…

Thursday quickly arrived, bringing with it an excited Lily Evans at the prospect of Snowcroft's dueling club. At 6:45 that evening, she made her way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom that James had instructed her to go.

She arrived a few minutes early, in typical fashion, and noted that there were only four students in the classroom. It was customary for Hogwarts teenagers to be just on time or mildly late to events and meetings, but it seemed strange that only a handful of students would make it a priority to be prompt. Professor Snowcroft was not even there yet, and Lily noticed that neither was James. She walked timidly into the room and silently thanked Merlin that she had brought a book with her.

Lily Evans planned to go to her grave defending the practicality of a book in every situation. There was no social emergency or awkward moment that couldn't be cured by the simple act of reading a book. Lily settled into a far corner of the room, away from the unfamiliar four students who were currently chatting to each other in center desks. Within a moment, the redhead was lost in the world of _Great Expectations._

"Tell me you're not actually _reading_ at dueling club, Evans," a deep, taunting voice pulled her away from Pip and Estella a few minutes later. She looked up and into the mischievous eyes of James Potter who was hovering above her along with a handsome Ravenclaw boy she didn't know.

James shoved his thumb toward the boy in question. "This is Ben Soares. Seventh-year. It's his first time, too."

"Nice to meet you…"

"Lily," she offered with a smile. He really was _quite_ handsome.

"Nice to meet you, Lily." His smile turned out to improve his face value even more.

"All right, well, we're just waiting for Snowcroft now and then we'll be ready to start."

Lily's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "But no one's here."

"Oh, yeah, well this is kind of an er—exclusive group. We don't watch a bunch of twats coming in here thinking they can join just because they got an O on their DADA exam. We want people who are serious about defending the wizarding world from dark magic."

The prefect suddenly felt very small and very inadequate. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to _be_ an auror. It was just a thought and it certainly didn't seem to qualify her attendance to this apparently elite dueling club.

Before Lily could vocalize her anxiety, Professor Snowcroft walked in. The Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor was new to Hogwarts this year, but had established himself quite quickly. As an ex-auror, he had enough chilling stories and nauseating recounts to scare even the least disciplined student into listening well in class. Snowcroft was quite old, at least eighty or ninety—although this did not matter as much as it would have in the Muggle world—but he did not allow his age to deter his agility or intensity.

"Good evening, good evening. Everyone here?" his dark eyes flicked around the room before resting on Lily and Ben. "Ah, fresh meat. Well, go on, introduce yourselves to the group."

The Ravenclaw and Gryffindor looked at each other for a moment before Ben stepped forward. "I'm Ben Soares, Ravenclaw, seventh year. James told me about this a couple weeks ago, but this is the first meeting I've been able to attend."

Scribbling onto a parchment, Snowcroft questioned the wizard, roughly. "Why do you want to be an auror, Mr. Soares?"

"Oh, well," the handsome wizard had obviously been caught off-guard, "my dad was an auror and I suppose it just makes sense. I want to do something good in the world."

"Everyone wants to do something good in the world. Why are you any different?"

Ben paused for a moment. "I think that I would be g—"

"Because it seems to me," Snowcroft finally lifted his eyes from his paper, pushing his glasses up his nose, "that if you truly wanted to do some good, you could have managed to prioritize this and found time in your _busy schedule_ to make it to a meeting before this one if you were made aware several weeks ago." He fixed the Ravenclaw with a condescending sneer. "The Death Eaters will not check to see if Quidditch practice conflicts before they kill your entire family."

Ben blinked and stumbled a bit as James caught his arm, offering him a consolatory smile. Snowcroft's unapologetic black eyes turned to Lily.

"I'm Lily Evans," she breathed, mustering all the Gryffindor bravery she could. "Sixth-year, Gryffindor." She gritted her teeth, awaiting a similar interrogation, but the professor only studied her for a moment before turning to address the entire group. "All right, pair off, you know the drill. Potter, Lanclos, get with our new…friends." The last word sounded as if it was attached to an earwax flavoured Bertie Bott's.

James motioned Ben toward a corner of the room as a Slytherin girl that Lily recognized from her year walked over, extending her hand. "I'm Madison." She didn't accompany the sentiment with a smile, but she didn't appear to intend coldness, either.

The Gryffindor nodded. "Lily."

"So most of what we do here is practical application of some really advanced defensive spells. The catch is that Snowcroft pretty much hates everyone."

"Brilliant."

" _But_ if you manage to stick with it, you're pretty much guaranteed an interview with the Department."

"The Auror Department."

Madison nodded, slick brunette bun bobbing around. "I'm guessing Potter isn't stupid enough to let you show up blind. Were you able to look at the spells for this week?" When Lily confirmed this with a nod, Madison drew her wand. "Excellent, let's try it."

An hour and a half later, Lily was leaving the room feeling more physically exhausted than she had ever been in her life. Madison proved to be excellent at just about everything and Lily had ended up on the ground or thrown into a wall no less than thirty times. The worst part of the entire situation was that Lily had never managed to hit the Slytherin with enough force to eve make her stumble. The few good hits Lily had gotten past Madison's shields were too weak to do anything but make the dark-haired girl blink.

James and Ben walked with her, but she tuned out most of their conversation in favour of silently cursing whatever witch or wizard had decided there needed to be a stunner stronger than _stupefy_.

"This is where I split off. G'night, James, and nice to meet you, Lily." Ben was saying, good-naturedly, when Lily rejoined the conversation. She smiled at the Ravenclaw in response as he turned to walk toward his own house's dormitory.

James looked at Lily for a moment, brief discomfort shining through before continuing to lead the way to Gryffindor tower.

"Well…you've been quiet. What'd you think?"

"I think I'm going to have some inconvenient bruises tomorrow."

James chuckled. "Yeah, some meetings are rougher than others."

"Rough," Lily scoffed. "Potter, my last tumble made rubble fall from the ceiling."

"I saw that one," he grimaced, before pausing again. "Can I give you a tip without you biting my head off?"

"Are you going to say it in a constructive manner or like a conceited arse?"

"Er—"

"Go ahead, Potter."

"You're slow." he stated, without any obvious malice or humor. It was just a casual observation. Lily's temper was immediately spiked, but he didn't give her the chance to comment. "You spend too much time analyzing the movement and direction. You just have to do it, Evans. Trust your instinct."

"I'm not _slow_ , I'm just—"

"Show me."

"What?"

" _Show me._ " To illustrate exactly what he meant, he jogged a few steps ahead of her and withdrew his wand, turning toward her and adopting an open, steady stance.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to curse you in the middle of the corridor."

"I know." he said, with a flippant smirk. "Because you're too slow to actually hit your mark."

Her eyes flashed. "I am not just go— _AH!_ " He had cut her off with a quick stun that she barely managed to deflect. "What the _hell_ , Potter?"

The tall wizard flourished his wand, twisting it, arrogantly around in his hand. "Oops, my fingers slipped." Then, with a quick flick, another blue light was being emitted from his eleven inches of mahogany. Lily jerked to deflect the spell with a growl of frustration.

" _Stop throwing—"_ Another blue light shot down the corridor to her. She took a heavy breath of aggravation and shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

The Gryffindor boy threw up a shield easily, calling, "Oh, come on, Evans, don't be a baby. Do something other than _disarm_ me."

She closed her eyes in irritation before casting the spell they had spent the majority of dueling club working on. "Dregatus!."

With a quick swipe of his wand, the stun bounced away from James. "See, that was all right, but I could have deflected that twice _and_ managed to counterattack you in the time it took you to cast that spell."

" _What?_ "

"Stop calculating. This isn't one of your fancy potions that requires precision. It's here," he pointed to his gut with his wand, "not here." Another point toward his head. "Go again."

This time, Lily complied without argument, firmly planting her feet and twisting her wand with a cry of "Dregatus!"

James blocked it easily enough, but stumbled a couple steps back as he did so. He looked up at Lily with a grin. "Better, Evans. Even faster, though, so you—"

"Dregatus!" She cut him off, curse flying from her lips and her wand with impeccable speed and force. James was knocked to the ground with a heavy _oof_.

"Well, shit, Evans." his voice choked from his place on the floor.

Lily's eyes widened in shock and worry, but she couldn't seem to make herself move. "Are you…are you all right?" she called, craning her neck around.

His head lifted from the ground, grin occupying nearly half of his face. "Never better." He pulled himself up, with a bit of difficulty, and grimaced as his hand went to rest in his hair. "Evans, that was incredible. Do it again."

" _What_? No, I will _not_ do it—"

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?" a shrewd voice could be heard behind Lily, accompanied by approaching clicks of a modest heel on the grey tile of the corridor. "Potter." It was a statement, as if the Transfiguration professor did not expect anything different, but then, "Evans?" A far more curious and surprised cry.

Lily turned around, slowly, to meet McGonagall's cold, disapproving eyes.

"Hallways are for walking, not hexing each other like a couple of animals."

"Well, Professor, technically animals can't actually h—" He stopped mid sentence under the withering bullets of the older witch's glare. "But you're an Animagus, so you'd know better than me, of course."

Something akin to accusation and suspicion found it's way to McGonagall's eyes but she blinked, quickly, sending the emotions swirling away. "Curfew is in ten minutes."

"Yes, Professor," Lily nodded, guiltily, already resuming her walk to Gryffindor tower.

"G'night, Minnie," James called, falling into step with Lily.

" _Potter_."

"Professor Minnie," he amended with a grin. Lily braced herself for the bellow of "detention!" that would likely follow, but was only met with the sound of those heels clicking down the other direction of the hall.

After a few moments, James piped up. "Well, that was close."

"Why did you invite me to that club?" Lily blurted, suddenly.

The Quidditch captain looked at her in surprise. "You said you wanted to be an auror and—"

"I said I was _interested_ in being an auror and you and I both know that there are a great deal of students who are far more serious about the career path than I am that do not even know that club exists," she replied with furrowed eyebrows. "Why me?"

"Well," his hand kept up to his hair, "I guess I just kind of have a gut feeling about it."

"Why are you so keen on _gut feelings_?"

"I'm normally right."

Lily scoffed. "Ever modest."

A small sheepish smile played at James's lips. "I meant what I said the other night. You'd be brilliant as an auror, so I guess I'm just trying to give you a little…push."

"A push," Lily echoed, eyebrows still furrowed. "Why not the others?"

"Well, you and Ben…the only other person I've told about the meetings…you both have er…invested interest."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"It means you have more motivation and reason to fight than all of the random purebloods who think it's their family legacy to join the Ministry."

"Because we're…Muggleborn." She tried not to let the disappointment etch into her statement. It was normal by now. She should be used to different treatment on behalf of her blood status, but the witch couldn't help the sting that came with each betrayal from a peer.

"Exactly." He looked to Lily with a confirming smile and noticed the sadness accompanying her freckles. "Oh, no, no, no, Evans. I don't mean that as a bad thing—in fact it's a very _good thing._ "

"It's fine, Potter."

"No, it's most certainly not _fine_. I'm not like that, Evans," he insisted, fixing her with an intense gaze. "I need you to know that."

"Okay." said Lily in a resigned effort to end the conversation.

"No," he boomed, stopping Lily's walk with a heavy grip on her arm. Lily's eyes widened at the physical contact. If having a conversation with James Potter was new territory, she didn't even know what to classify _touch_. He seemed to feel the same discomfort and ripped his hand away from her arm, while still continuing to tower over her, dark eyes glowing, somberly. "Evans, I don't give a _shit_ about your blood or anyone else's. It's all rubbish." His voice softened, along with the hard lines of his face. "You're Muggleborn and I'm not. The only thing that makes us different is that there are a bunch of bastards on the other side of these walls who think that makes me better than you. They're wrong—they're _so_ wrong. But someone has to tell them that… _show them that._ And who better to make them eat their words than the smartest witch of our ruddy year? A witch who has managed to be simultaneously brighter, kinder, funnier, and more competent than they can ever hope to be? The fact that you're a personification of what they hate just makes it all the better." He took his first breath, hand traveling back to his unruly raven's nest. "Does that make sense?"

Lily hesitated, overwhelmed with the wizard's words. It was jarring how impactful a few sentences could be when they came from the most unexpected person. Lily wasn't exactly sure where the warmth in her chest was coming from, but she guessed that it had something to do with how this boy's passionate honesty so blatantly countered the crap she had been on the receiving end of for so many years.

"Yeah," she replied, with a hint of a smile, "it makes sense."

James breathed a sigh of relief Lily didn't know he was holding, resuming his pace toward Gryffindor Tower. His strides were so elongated, Lily struggled to keep up.

"Next question," she spoke with a matter-of-fact air, folding her hands behind her back.

"Shoot."

"Did you just call our Transfiguration professor Minnie?" He immediately erupted into a chorus of laughter. " _And_ —" she fought through her own laughter, "did she just let you walk away without giving you detention for it?"

He broke the touch barrier one more time to nudge his shoulder into hers. "You've got a _lot_ to learn, Evans."

For Lily...that proposition didn't sound like the worst thing in the world.

...


	13. Chapter 13

***Disclaimer: I own a little more than I did before now that Christmas has come and gone and my family felt particularly generous this year. But I still don't own any of the characters or world described below. JKR. All of it.**

...

The next three weeks passed uneventfully. Lily continued to struggle under the weight of school, prefect duties, Slug Club, and the added Snowcroft Dueling Club, but took on her daily schedule with a more cheerful approach than had previously characterized her agenda.

The dueling club was easily the most difficult part of Lily's week but she got through it, knowing that it was truly challenging her toward growth as a witch. She spent most of the weekly hour and a half with James and Ben and grew a certain fondness for the boys, but it always ended the same way. The three would walk back from the club together, Ben would split off, and the two Gryffindors would travel back alone. The conversation was light and the laughs were frequent, but as soon as they got to Gryffindor Tower, that was it.

They would enter the portrait hole and the mirage would end, Lily retreating up to the girls' dorm and James staying in the common room with his mates or Juniper. They would then properly ignore each other for the next six days until 7pm Thursday arrived again.

"I hate Quidditch, I hate Quidditch, I hate Quidditch." A soaking wet Anna Brodeur trudged into the sixth-year girls' dorm with a frown and a mop of copper-hair sticking to her face in an unattractive manner.

"I thought it got cancelled! It's a bloody _hurricane_ outside!" Mary cried, jumping from her bed to grab a towel from the lavatory for her friend.

"Amendment. I hate _James Potter._ " Anna deadpanned, drops of water sputtering from her mouth as she spat the Quidditch captain's name. "He's the only barmy captain who didn't cancel. Said the storm was a _gift_ because it separates the _men from the boys._ " she imparted, dropping her voice to what Lily could only assume was supposed to be an imitation of James. Lily didn't have the heart to tell her sassy friend that she sounded more like Santa Claus.

"So did you break the news that you were neither?" Marlene chimed in from her cozy corner where she was already in bed for the evening.

"No, I just made sure to lob a couple extra bludgers his way. Even managed to dislocate his shoulder."

"All right!"

"Yeah, until I remembered we're all bloody witches and wizards and he fixed it with a painless flick of his stupid wand. I wanted to see the pain."

"Wet Anna is scary Anna," Mary sang, passing off the retrieved towel. The petite girl scowled, but gratefully accepted the gift.

"Didn't you know what you were signing up for when you tried out?" Lily contributed, looking up from her book.

Anna flipped her head upside down, spraying Mary and the two closest beds, as she wrapped the towel around her drenched hair. "Yeah, well, the team wasn't under the authoritarian reign of the Dictator when I joined up." The sixth-year girls offered their giggles of support as Anna trekked toward the bathroom. "Am I being bold in assuming I can have first shower?"

"Get in there. You're disgusting."

Anna blew a kiss to Mary and scurried into the bathroom.

" _Ahem_ , I have an announcement." Mary declared to the room, moving toward the center of the spoke-like arrangement of beds. She stood with her head held held high and her hands firmly planted on either side of her slender hips. "After three weeks of ignoring my existence, Mickey Tannenbaum has asked me out."

"Is that Christmas tree boy?" Lily inquired, bracing herself for the pillow that she expected to immediately fly across the room.

"Just because his last name is the same as a holiday song does _not_ mean you can call him _Christmas tree boy._ "

"I'm truly sorry," the redhead lied.

"Piss off." The tall blonde turned her back in obvious exclusion of Lily as she redirected her dramatics toward Marlene and McCall. " _Anyway,_ as you all know, I've been fancying Tannenbaum for _ages_ —"

"A month," Lily corrected.

"—and he has finally decided to get smart. I'm giving fair warning, because the last thing I want is for any one of you to feel neglected or tossed aside. I love you all dearly—except for Lily—" the prefect snorted, "and I want you to know that just because I may be spending most of my time with Mickey doesn't mean I care about you girls any less." She finished the last line with a feathery sigh, ignoring the bemused expressions of her companions.

"When is this esteemed outing set to occur?" Marlene asked.

"Next weekend in Hogsmeade," Mary replied with a satisfied smile.

"I'll put it on my calendar," chimed Lily. Mary whipped around from her spotlight in the centre of the room to glare at her friend for a moment before groaning in mock frustration and running toward her friend's bed. Lily squealed as her blonde friend attacked, tickling her mercilessly.

Mary eventually eased up, collapsing into the bed by Lily. "Tell me your secret."

"What?"

"Is it a cushioning charm? Because, y'know, Lovely, I've tried to—"

"Sod off," Lily giggled. "It's the same bloody mattress as yours."

"But it just _can't_ be," Mary whined, settling her head into the crook of the redhead's neck. "I miss first-year sleepovers."

Lily sighed, nostalgically. "We'd fall out of the bed if we did that now."

"I know. But I still miss it."

"Me, too."

"Do you remember the barmy stuff we would come up with to talk ourselves to sleep?"

"We thought Flitwick was a houseelf," Lily replied, wistfully.

"And that Dumbledore was gay,"

"Dumbledore _is_ gay," Lily pointed out.

"No way," Mary admonished. "He's got the hots for McGonagall."

" _Ew_ ," the freckled witch managed through her snorts.

"Do you think it's enough?" Mary asked after a moment, her voice suddenly dropping half an octave, riddled by somberness and fear. When Lily didn't reply, the blonde continued. "Hogwarts. Dumbledore. Magic. Do you think its enough to protect us?"

"No," Lily whispered.

"Yeah. Neither do I." Mary's near-silent reply floated into the atmosphere of the dormitory.

The girls didn't share the bed all night because Lily was right. The twin mattress that had once played host to a myriad of imaginative ideas and giggly gossip was no more a sanctuary than the castle that confined them. After a half hour of silence, Mary slipped out of Lily's bed, tiptoeing to her own.

…

"So, tell me," Juniper chimed, setting her butterbeer down, as she looked at the handsome boy sitting on the floor across from her. "How is it that you just so happened to know exactly what time Filch would be patrolling the other side of the classroom?"

James grinned around his final bite of ham-and-swiss sandwich. "Can't tell you all my secrets or I'll lose my charm."

"Yes, because I'm dating you for your _secrets_ ," the witch snorted, flicking a bit of frothy whip from her drink toward him.

James only laughed, sitting up on his knees to gather the empty plates and silverware. The makeshift picnic in the empty Potions classroom had been a welcomed break from the stress of end-of-the-year exam2 prep for both students. The teenagers had been dating for almost two months, but were both so busy, it felt like they had almost no opportunity to spend time alone. Neither of them openly complained about the arrangement as it truly worked well for their busy schedules.

"I got an owl from my brother this morning."

"Oh?"

"Lionel. He's still in America with that internship, y'know, so he never really gets access to an international owl. They're not strong enough to fly all the way across the Atlantic in one go, so they generally travel on boats from New York. Highly inefficient stuff, truly." She waved her hand in a casual manner to reroute herself back to the point. "But anyway, they finally let him crawl out of the cracks and write me a letter."

"That's great, June," James beamed, and he meant it. It wasn't difficult to want the absolute best for the witch in front of him.

"It is," agreed Juniper, with a small smile of contentment, before sobering a bit and redirecting her attention to her lap. "He wants me to come visit this summer."

James' eyes widened in surprise. "Visit in New York City?" June nodded, biting her lip. "That's wonderful!"

"You don't think it's mad?"

"Mad?" the wizard questioned, eyebrows furrowed. "Why would that be mad?"

"Well, it's just that…with the war and everything, it feels rather…well, it feels rather selfish."

"To make a trip to see your brother? Juniper, no way. You're fifteen; you can't be expected to ignore incredible opportunities like that just because there are _bigger_ things going on. Family is more important now than ever."

Juniper paused, considering her boyfriend's words. "You're right," she said, more to herself than James, then, with more certainty and a grin, "You're right!" Her eyes widened. "I'm going to America!" she squealed.

"You're going to America," James laughed, heartily, touched by the infectious joy that came with being in the presence of Juniper Alessio.

After a few moments of gushing about her excitement, she turned to James with a new glint in her eye. "So, boyfriend," she sang, innocently. "Was this just a dine and dash so we can catch curfew?" She rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling in a way that suggested only the purest of intentions, though the mischievous seduction in her voice betrayed the exact opposite. "Or did you have something else in mind?"

James caught on, with a wolfish smile. "Oh, I don't knooow. Do you have a few minutes to spare?" But his genuine interest in her response was marred by the way he moved toward her on the floor, hands already grabbing, greedily, for her waist.

"Minutes?" she questioned, eyebrows flying toward her acute widow's peak. Any further questioning was cut off as his mouth engulfed hers, emitting a squeak that she didn't even have the sense to be embarrassed about amidst the mind-numbing pleasure that came with kissing her boyfriend.

"All right," he breathed into her mouth, hot air mingling with the frozen butter beer they had both just been drinking. "Maybe hours."

…

Lily had managed to convince Sirius to help with her Transfiguration homework, which was a true task in and of itself. The Gryffindor boy prided himself on rarely doing his _own_ homework, so the idea of _tutoring_ was pretty much the worst thing that had ever happened to him. A certain spunky redhead had wiggled her way into his orbit of influence, lately, though, and after a mere half hour of imaginative excuses— _sorry, Evans, but I promised Dumbledore I would sweep the Forbidden Forest—_ and additional fifteen minutes of whining— _can we do it somewhere in secret so I don't ruin my rep?—_ he had agreed.

She had reserved a table in the library— _people actually go there to do things other than snog?—_ but he had made her promise to wait for her outside the doors so he wouldn't have to walk into _the pits of hell_ alone.

Dramatic? Sirius Black?

Never.

It was ten minutes after their agreed upon time and Lily's internal proclivity for promptness was sending some negative waves through her brain. He could have at least _told her_ he wasn't going to show up. Although, when reflecting upon their earlier conversation, she supposed it wasn't a _total_ surprise that he was absent.

"If you don't keep your bloody voice down, I'm going to cut your tongue out." a cold voice racked down the long hallway, giving Lily uncomfortable chills.

"Congratulations on finally growing some balls, Mulciber. Your daddy must be so proud." an equally icy voice quaked.

"My _daddy_ is a bit occupied covering up _your daddy's_ shit." a sneer could be easily heard in the first voice's tone.

"Both of you, shut up," a third voice—this one all to familiar to Lily—commanded, lazily. Lily slinked into the shadow of the library door as the three wizards approached. She _knew_ those Slytherins and didn't feel particularly up to being dehumanized and defiled tonight.

"I'm just _saying_ that Rosier's idiot of a father got us into this situation. _Threaten the mudblood, she'll be too scared to tell anyone!_ " His voice had risen to a wimpy, high-pitched whine in an apparent impersonation of Evan Rosier's father.

"Well, he didn't expect the bitch to bloody _unenroll._ "

 _Olivia. They were talking about Olivia._

"It doesn't matter," Severus's voice hissed again. "What's done is done. We have to make sure that the Hogwarts rumor mill begins and ends with us."

"If people know what you said in that letter, Rosier, you won't get the _option_ to unenroll. It'll be off to Azkaban, for sure."

"They wouldn't send me to Azkaban just because I wrote a little death—"

" _Hush,_ " it was Severus again. They were _so close_ to her at this point. "No one's going to Azkaban, not yet anyway. That's the whole point. We're underage. They can't do anything except dock a few House points—"

"Oh, _pity_." Avery feigned upset.

" _Gryffindor wins again!_ " Mulciber jeered.

"—expel us at the worst. But that doesn't matter, either. We're better off out there than in here, anyway."

Lily held her breath as the Slytherins stalked into view. She prayed that the shadow of the doorway would conceal her until they were past.

Mulciber and Rosier walked by first, each looking put out by the other. Snape immediately followed, robe billowing in that distinctive way that was _so very Severus_. Lily felt a twitch of pain in her chest as she watched the third Slytherin boy move out of sight, but put it away. The time for mourning over _that_ lost friendship had _long_ past.

She stayed frozen for a couple minutes, unmoving until she could no longer hear their cruel voices or the tap of their trainers on the stone floor. Sliding out of her hiding place, she resolved to go on into the library and conquer the Transfiguration alone. As she turned back toward the door, however, she noticed another figure quickly approaching. He was near-sprinting down the hall toward her and, as he got closer, she noticed the familiar dark fringe and aristocratic facial structure.

 _He came_.

"Sirius!" she jumped into he middle of the hall with a grin, fully prepared to berate the boy for his tardiness.

But as his lanky figure continued to approach, she noticed the lack of maroon robes in exchange for…green?

 _Oh Merlin_.

"I'm not Sirius," the boy quietly corrected, eyes dark and angry as he came to a stop in front of her.

"Oh, I'm…I'm sorry, Regulus," Lily stammered. "I thought you were your brother…"

"Well, I'm _not_ —"

"Black!" a voice barked from behind her, interrupting the fourth year's denouncement of his brother's existence. "We told you _seven o'clock sharp_ , did we not?"

Regulus's eyes widened, mouth opening to defend himself, before he was cut off, once again.

"Who are you talking to?" it was Snape's voice this time, dripping with suspicion and…apprehension.

Lily turned, bravely, to face the Slytherin boys that had apparently returned. She glared directly at Severus. "How many redheaded mudbloods are in this castle, Snape? Because I was under the impression it was _just me._ "

His eyes flashed with several emotions before settling on rage. Lily suddenly became very aware of the three wands that were already in the Slytherins' hands and the unfortunate location of her own deep in the inside pocket of her robes. She had absolutely no chance to get a shot in before they would have her on the ground.

"Was your _girlfriend_ here the whole time, Severus?" Mulciber stepped forward, menacing fury carved into his face.

"Did you _see her_?" Snape replied, evenly, not looking away from Lily. The redhead sent back a clear message with her own gaze: _stop protecting me._

"I'm with Mulciber," Rosier contributed, fingers tapping impatiently along the length his wand. "How much of our rendezvous did you catch, mudblood?"

Lily smiled, sweetly. "Only the part where you admitted to having something to do with Olivia's disappearance. But I'm sure that was just _gossip_ , right, boys?"

Snape's characteristically dead eyes widened for a moment before the movement beside him pulled Lily's eyes away. Before she could make the move for her wand, she was on the ground, thrown against the floor with a jarring stab of pain shooting through her lower back. She fumbled for her pocket, searching for her wand, before feeling the dig of someone else's in her neck.

"Can't blab without a functioning throat, can you, Evans?" Mulciber's voice dripped with malice. He shoved the wand deeper into her throat, pulling a choked gasp from Lily. She stared at him with as much hatred as she could muster.

"Leave her," Severus's voice sounded, back in its usual monotonous tone. "We don't need more attention on us."

"You want a few minutes in the broom closet with her first, Snape?" Mulciber jeered, turning his head to sneer at the tall Slytherin.

Lily didn't get a chance to hear Severus's response over the sound of a gruff, " _Stupefy!"_ being bellowed down the corridor. The pressure on Lily's throat subsided as Mulciber's body dropped weightless next to her.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" Sirius's breathless voice approached quickly, as he sprinted the length of the corridor, enraged. " _Expelliarmus!_ " he threw toward Rosier, easily catapulting the Slytherin's wand across the hall, before he had a chance to fire his own spell.

Lily anticipated the next move, silently praying that Sirius would somehow manage to get a third curse in before Snape could retaliate. But Sirius pocketed his wand, instead running at Snape full-speed. Lily couldn't see the entire interaction from her vantage point on the floor, but she imagined Severus froze when he saw Sirius put away his weapon, which allowed the Gryffindor a split second of opportunity.

Snape was thrown to the ground with a punch unlike any Lily had ever seen before. Blood immediately sputtered from his nose, splattering the hall, as he collapsed to the floor. A nauseating crack could be heard as his body made impact with the stone.

But Sirius wasn't finished.

He whirled around, facing his younger brother, who Lily had honestly forgotten was still there. The older boy's eyes darkened from anger to disappointment and betrayal. He marched over to the Slytherin, grabbing him by the collar. _Honestly, what did this barmy boy have against using his bloody wand?_

" _What the hell, Reg?"_

The younger boy didn't blink, looking at his brother with contempt. "Don't call me that," he spat at his brother before _actually spitting on him._

Sirius dropped his grip on the fourth-year, giving him a final shove. "Get your friends and get out of here."

Regulus gave his brother one more look of hatred before marching over to help the now-conscious Mulciber to his feet. Rosier had never returned after retrieving his wand, _the coward._ Across the hall, Snape was now sitting up on his own, hand pressed into his nose in an effort to stop the bleeding.

"You're dead, Black," Snape snarled, breaking his generally mellow disposition to threaten the Gryffindor.

"Well, that's a rude way to speak to your own housemate. Reg, do your friends always talk to you like that?" Sirius feigned concern, pouting his bottom lip toward his brother, who was struggling to pull the burly body of Mulciber to his feet.

After a couple moments of effort, the large Slytherin managed to gain the ability to support his own weight again. Snape turned, somewhat reluctantly, clearly seeing his need for the hospital wing as superior to present revenge. Regulus followed him with one last dark look toward his brother, who, in turn, _blew a bloody kiss_. Mulciber, however, paused.

"You mudblood bitch," he glowered. "I'll kill you."

Lily had managed to sit up at this point, though pain was still shooting through her back in waves. "I'm _quaking_." she tossed back, widening her eyes in mock fear. Sirius raised his wand next to her as a protective precaution.

"Watch your back, slut." he turned to follow after his housemates as Sirius fired one last small " _flippendo_ " after him.

"Ol' Man Potter always told me that its dishonorable to hit a guy when his back is turned. But I find that in moments like these…I don't particularly care." He flipped his wand around his fingers, staring after Mulciber. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he seemed to remember the girl on the floor. "Oh blimey, Evans, what did you _do_?" He kneeled down, putting an arm around her waist to pull her up. They got halfway up before she screamed—literally _screamed_ — and her body went limp against him, crumpling back to the floor.

"Merlin, Evans, what's wrong with you?" he dropped next to her, a nervous hand on her shoulder in what she supposed was Sirius Black's attempt at comfort.

Lily grimaced. "It's my back. I don't know what's wrong. I hit the ground pretty hard and I heard it…crack or something." She arched her back, wincing. " _Jesus_ , it hurts."

"Top or bottom?"

"What?"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, sweet Merlin, you're not my type. Is it the top or bottom part of your back that hurts?"

"I didn't think...I never said..." she sighed in defeat. "Bottom."

"I'm going to push on your back and I need you to tell me when it hurts."

"I can't wait."

Sirius began to gently prod down her back, beginning at the center and working his way down. As he approached her hips, she felt the soreness growing. "Okay, okay, you can stop. That hurts."

"Right there?" he poked with more force as she hissed and nodded, furiously. "All right, now… I'm going to do something that may make you have the instinctual inclination to hit me, but I need you to trust me."

"What are you— _BLOODY HELL_."

She honestly wasn't sure if the outcry was from the horrendous pain or the fact that Sirius had basically just groped her arse.

He withdrew his hands, crossing the full length of his arms in front of his chest, unfazed. "Just as I expected. You broke your tail bone." He sounded incredibly business-like and if the situation were any different, Lily would have certainly laughed.

"What do you mean I _broke my tailbone?_ "

"I _mean_ the bone right above your butt has been split in two."

" _Oh my God."_

"You broke your arse," Sirius confirmed.

...

 **A/N: Happy early New Year friends! Hope 2018 has been full of life and love for all of you.**


	14. Chapter 14

***Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the characters in this story. They belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling.**

 **...**

"So do we get to hear the _real_ story, Lil?"

"Oh, yes, I've been waiting all day for this!"

Lily groaned as the shrill voices of her best mates shot through her head. They had arrived at the hospital wing half an hour ago to visit, but had spent the entire time squealing about this or that. Lily was quite hoping Healer Harding would appear and kick them out.

"C'mon, Lily, you can't expect us to believe you _tripped_."

"Was it something kinky?"

This made Lily's face screw up in disgust. "And who would I be getting kinky with?"

"I don't know," Mary shrugged. "Severus?"

Lily pushed her off the bed.

"Please tell us what happened, Lily." Anna turned more fully toward her friend, grabbing one of her hands. "We're _dying_ to know."

"Some of us are _actually_ dying down here," Mary called, pulling herself back onto the bed with a scowl.

Lily paused for a moment, considering their request. Telling them the truth about her tailbone would involve explaining the Slytherin altercation. That would ultimately lead to her telling them what she had overheard about Olivia. But they were Olive's roommates, too, and perhaps they could help her sort through all of it.

"I got caught eavesdropping on Mulciber and Rosier and…" she hesitated, unsure whether she wanted to give further fire to the hatred her two best mates had developed for Severus. "…and they were talking about Olive."

Both of the girls' eyes widened. "Do they…know what happened?" Mary whispered, even though no one else was in the hospital wing.

"I don't know. I think so. They were saying something about a letter and Rosier's dad. I didn't really hear much, honestly."

"Well, you apparently heard enough," Anna exclaimed, motioning to the hospital bed.

Lily grimaced. "Yeah, well, Harding doesn't exactly know the full story."

"Lily," Anna reprimanded. "You have to tell her. Those boys need to be punished!"

"What is that going to accomplish?"

"I don't know," Anna admitted in a shrill voice. "But it couldn't hurt."

"It _could_ hurt. What if Olivia is in serious trouble?."

"All the more reason to tell! I think you should talk to Dumbledore," Mary spoke up. "How did you manage to walk away with only a broken arse anyway?"

"Sirius showed up and got rid of them rather efficiently."

"Black?" Mary's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Who knew he was such a knight in shining armour."

"Anyway, I can't tell Dumbledore because I don't have any real information. What do I say? _I overheard some Slytherins and they seemed like they were up to no good?_ Real valuable intel there."

"You tell him what you told us! They know _something_ , Lily." Anna offered, hands flying as she spoke, rapidly. "Maybe he can bring them in and question them or something. Find out some more information."

"And put Olive in more danger? If these guys really had a hand in her disappearance, then bringing it up to the teachers or Dumbledore is just going to make it worse for her. Besides, I've talked to Professor McGonagall about Olive several times and she always shuts me down. No one is going to listen to me unless I have something substantial to say."

Anna frowned, not convinced. "I still think you should tell a professor."

"I'll think about it."

Mary hit her with a _yeah, right_ glare but dropped the subject anyway in lieu of some more disparaging comments about Lily's broken arse.

…

"Two more missing."

"Hmm?" Remus rumbled as he savored his morning coffee.

James shoved the _Daily Prophet_ toward him. "Two Muggleborns. Disappeared."

Remus set his drink down, picking the paper up with his free hand and scanning, expediently with a frown. "The Prophet isn't even making good excuses anymore." He gestured to a sentence with his thumb. "The witches are believed to be on vacation in France, but anyone with leads is expected to contact the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." He looked up at James with a detached frown. "Because it makes complete sense that two witches who have never even been five minutes _late_ to work would pick up and stow away to Paris without telling their bosses."

"Death Eaters?" Peter asked in an attempt to join the conversation.

"Without a doubt," James grumbled, rolling the paper up and pushing it to the side. "Mum says that the Ministry has instructed the aurors to shoot-to-kill anyone found at the scene of a Dark Mark."

Remus' eyebrows rose, thought the rest of his face maintained it's usual togetherness. "That seems a bit extreme."

"It's all for show. They're just worried about people losing confidence in the Ministry's strength."

"Rightfully so. The Ministry hasn't taken a strong stand on anything in the last couple years."

"Except for Quidditch regulation," Peter reminded the two boys.

"Oh, yeah," James scoffed. "Can't forget how _desperately_ the Ministry wants to create a safe environment for recreational sport."

"I seem to recall a certain bespectacled git pledging his allegiance to that _recreational sport_ , once upon a time." Remus mused, through a wry expression.

"Yeah, well, that was before our friends started being murdered."

"None of our friends have been murdered, Prongs," Peter frowned.

James ignored him. "It's just all so backwards. They take public action on rubbish issues and completely avoid addressing the things that actually matter. People are _dying_ and the Ministry wants to dedicate a whole bloody page to the _Ghostly Gossip._ " He flipped the paper back over, aggressively shoving at the colorful page which hosted an attractive witch in bright purple winking at the camera. "It makes me sick." James sighed, regaining his composure with a certain amount of defeat. "Merlin, listen to me. I'm seventeen bloody years old and I sound like my father. I hate You-Know-Who for stealing my youth."

"I think it's called _growing up_ , James." Remus smiled, ruefully.

"It's _called_ I hate it and want to go back to being an ignorant tosser."

…

"Lily!" a bright voice sliced right through Lily's plan to exit the prefect meeting as quickly as possible. She had been released from the hospital wing after a quick bone-mending spell and a night of rest as a precaution, but after a full day of classes, the pain-management potions were wearing off and Lily was anxious to crawl into bed for the evening.

She took a deep breath and plastered on a big smile as she turned around to greet her attacker. Her countenance relaxed a bit as she saw it was only Juniper Alessio who was approaching her from across the room.

"Hi," the petite girl beamed, pushing her dark bangs out of her eyes. "Sorry to ambush you but I have a favor to ask of you…The patrol for the 27th is set for fifth years, buuuuut I was wondering if you and Remus would consider switching with us."

"Is the 27th Sunday?" Lily asked, eyes scrunched as she tried to recall the schedule that had just been posted.

"Yes!" June cried, brightly. "Oh, it would be so lovely if you could—"

"I'm sorry, Junie, but I'm afraid we can't switch with you that night."

"Because you see its—oh. What?" the fifth-year's face fell, instantaneously. She blinked owlishly at the older girl.

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, but Remus is scheduled to travel home to see his mum that evening. That's why we're doing the Saturday shift instead."

"Blast," Juniper muttered to herself. "I already asked Frank and Alice but they said they'd already _done their time_ patrolling on weekends and wouldn't switch with us."

"Seniority has gone to their head," Lily offered with a small smile. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you so keen on switching?"

The younger witch's face filled with color. "Oh, well…" She looked around quickly, then grabbed Lily's arm as if she were telling her the greatest secret in the world. "It's James's birthday."

Realization washed over Lily like month old salmon. "Oh."

Why had she even bothered to ask?

June didn't pick up on Lily's wilted expression. "So," she gushed in a hushed tone. "I'm planning a party! Nothing too major of course. All within school rules, don't worry! I'm thinking about- _OH!_ " Her grip tightened on Lily's arm as she squealed.

"What?" Lily asked, wildly, wondering what could possibly provide the reason for her right arm's loss of blood circulation.

"Sweet Merlin, this is perfect. You and James have been doing that dueling club thing, right? Oh, I can't believe I didn't think of this before. Would you mind helping out? I've been wary to ask his mates because I figured they would just spill the beans, but _you!_ He thinks you're so great and I know y'all are so close so he would totally take the bait."

"June, I don't—"

"Of course, it'll take some master planning. I know he's not _that_ gullible. But that's why I think you're the perfect one for the job! You can just ask him to come study with you or eat with you or walk with you or—"

"Juniper." Lily jumped in, loudly, interrupting the younger witch's prattling. "What are you talking about?"

Juniper blinked, briefly looking at Lily as if she were speaking Mermish, before reality seemed to slap her. " _Oh!_ Of course, of course, I've left you quite in the dark, haven't I? Well, no matter!" She leaned in again, conspiratorial voice back in place. "You can be the distraction so I have time to set up the party and so we know for sure that he arrives on time and is thoroughly surprised!"

Lily paused, unsure how to explain to the babbling fifth-year that the proposed plan didn't excite Lily as much as it apparently excited the other prefect. "Um…I think that sounds lovely. Really." She bit the inside of her cheek to maintain a neutral expression. "But I think it'd be better to ask Peter or Remus."

"No, but don't you see? He'll know something is up with them. They're always trouble. But you—you're bloody perfect! What's that he always calls you?"

"Er…Evans?"

" _Lovely Lily!_ " she cried, triumphantly, clapping her hands together. "It has to be you! Please say you'll do it. Please?"

To be completely honest, Lily didn't even know James's birthday was upcoming. Sure, she could think back over the past several years and recall participating in a Gryffindor sing-along of _Happy Birthday_ and she'd bore witness to the various humiliating gifts the other Marauders had given him. But, ironically, the one thing James Potter didn't over-dramatically strive to make more about _him,_ was the one day that was actually _his_ and until June mentioned it, she had no idea of when the day was.

Snowcroft's dueling club had put them in a similar circle and had provided the occasional opportunity for conversation, but it was never more than light interaction as they walked back from the meetings. They certainly weren't _close friends_ and the idea of asking him to _go on a walk_ made her want to simultaneously crack up and vomit.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, yeah, I'll distract him."

 _What?_

"Oh, thank you, Lily! I owe you!" the high-pitched elation of Juniper rang through Lily's ears as the fifth-year squeezed the redhead aggressively.

…

"So guess what _I_ get to do Sunday night?" Lily said, stifling a yawn.

"Have tea with the Queen."

"No, you ponce." Lily shoved the shoulder of the boy sitting next to her on the couch. "I'm helping to plan Potter's birthday."

The subject of James had become free game after Lily and Sirius's little friendship reunion. She was never entirely sure if he had simply begun to care less about the situation or if he just began to realize that maybe the arrangement was more permanent than he had originally thought. Either way, as Lily and Sirius resumed their nightly chats in the common room (when prefect rounds and homework allowed it), the dark-haired boy had slowly stopped skirting around the J word when telling stories or exchanging school gossip.

It was almost disheartening how casually he had begun to throw his ex-best mate's name around as if he were That Slytherin Bloke With The Bushy Blonde Hair or The Second Year Hufflepuff With The Lisp And The Big Ears. He was just a character that happened to play a role in many of Sirius's stories.

"You're kidding."

"Nope," Lily replied, haughtily, shaking her head to allow for a full 'cascade' affect of her long, red tresses down her back. "I have managed to obtain the highly coveted, universally sought-after, widely acclaimed role of The Distraction."

"I see your mouth moving, Evans, I do. But I just don't believe that the words I _think_ I'm hearing can actually be true."

She giggled. "Neither can I."

"How the hell did you get that short straw?"

"Juniper Alessio asked me."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Juniper Alessio asked _you_ to help _her_ with James's birthday?"

"Yep."

Sirius snorted. "Juniper Alessio, the current girlfriend of _James Potter_ , asked you, the well-known five year flame of the aforementioned _James Potter_ , to help her with _James Potter's_ birthday?"

"It's not as twisty as all that," she defended, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"Isn't it?" he leered, leaning back into the couch. "You're daft."

Lily felt her face begin to heat up. "This isn't a jealousy thing! June just asked me if I would help."

"Why the hell would she ask _you_?"

"I don't know, Juniper and I are sort of friends."

"Have you even spoken to James all year?"

" _Yes._ We've been going to dueling club for the past several weeks."

"Wait, what?" he squawked, clambering back into a sitting position. "Dover's dueling club?"

"No, Snowcroft's."

"Snowcroft's?!"

"Yes!"

"I get out of the loop for _one semester_ and that tosser actually manages to get you to agree to go to a club with him?"

"I don't understand what you're moaning on about. It's just a bloody meeting once a week."

" _Merlin._ "

"What are you _merlin_ ing about _?_ What's the big deal?"

"Nothing," he said, quickly, settling back into the couch in an obvious attempt at appearing casual. Through narrowed eyes, Lily decided not to press it. "I just didn't know you wanted to be an auror."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me it's a bad idea?"

"Why would I do that?" He shrugged, indifferently. "It's your life, Evans. If you want to die young and be immortalized in your youthful beauty, go for it."

Sirius Black, ever dramatic.

"Well, _anyway,_ I got roped into this surprise party for Sunday night, so I—"

"Hold on a second." He was back up again, sitting straight on the couch. His years of childhood etiquette lessons became blatantly present during his spontaneous fits of emotion. "Did you say Sunday? _This_ Sunday?"

Lily was beginning to grow frustrated at how keen he was on interrupting her tonight. " _Yes!_ "

"Well, that's no good."

She huffed. "What do you _mean_ that's no good?"

"James is busy that night."

Lily snorted, dryly. "Not to be insensitive, Black, but what could you possibly know about James's schedule?"

"He's busy, just trust me."

But Lily had willingly let too many things fly under her nose, recently, especially concerning a certain group of four boys that she knew held a certain proclivity for mischief.

"No. Explain it to me."

The Gryffindor boy turned toward her in surprise, obviously blindsided by her firm curiosity. "Sorry, Evans, no can do." He returned his gaze to the fire, steely eyes catching on the glowing embers.

"That's rubbish. What is James so _busy_ with on his birthday?" Sirius stayed quiet. "Does this have to do with the nocturnal escapades y'all have been partaking in for all these years? All the sneaking around and secret keeping?" she insisted, watching his face for any sign of resignation. It remained resolute. "Is it something stupid?"

Sirius shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

"Is it something dangerous?

He didn't move.

"Who are you protecting?"

This caught his attention. "What?" he whipped back around.

"I've been going to school with you lot for almost six years. Ninety percent of the stuff you prats get up to is flagrant and nefarious and I absolutely hate it. That other ten percent is stored up for displays of unconditional devotion to each other. I won't pretend to understand it, you're all mad. But all the silence, all the secrets…you're protecting one of them. Aren't you?"

His enduring silence was all the confirmation she needed.

"Remus." she stated more than questioned, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sirius's gaze remained fixed on the dancing flames.

"His mum isn't really sick…is she?" she paused, giving the wizard another chance to respond before plowing on. "I told myself that wasn't a lie. That his mother really was sick. Cancer or something like that. But…but that's not true." Another pause. "Is it?"

She got quiet after that, allowing the silence to settle around the two of them. The reticence encased them in a special stillness that seemed to affect even the fire, it's flames becoming less effulgent. Lily wasn't sure how long they sat in the lull, but her moment of bold inquisition had already left the common room and she suddenly became anxious to join it.

"I'm going up to bed. G'night." she murmured, squeezing Sirius's shoulder in the affectionate way they had easily adopted as a staple of their friendship. She lumbered toward the girls' staircase and was just about to ascend when his smooth voice halted her.

"You should talk to him. Remus." He hadn't turned away from the fire or even shifted the angle of his body to ensure she heard him. "I…I think he would explain everything to you. I trust you, Lily, I just...it's not my story to tell."

...


	15. Chapter 15

***Disclaimer: I own nothing. J.K. Rowling owns _everything_.**

 _Recap: Sixth-year at Hogwarts is coming to a close for Lily, the Marauders, and the rest of the gang. Lily Evans has forged a new friendship with Sirius Black, which is colourful and a bit temperamental. Lily got fed up with the secrets, which led to an 'almost' discovery about Remus' condition. Sirius told Lily to talk to Remus because it wasn't his news to tell. James Potter is dating witty, vibrant Juniper Alessio. A few problems concerning their busy schedules have cropped up, but nothing earth-shattering and things seem to be all right for the happy couple. Olivia Magnus, the sixth roommate of the girls, has been missing all term. The Hogwarts staff say it's nothing for the students to worry about, but Lily overheard some dodgy Slytherin conversations about Olive. Lily ended up in a minor altercation with the Slytherins, resulting in a "broken arse" as Sirius so eloquently expressed it. Shortly after, Lily received a cryptic note from Severus asking her to meet up with him. James and Lily have been attending a dueling club together and are (almost) friends._

...

Wednesdays were the most boring night of the week for the sixth-year boys of Gryffindor.

In an effort to push higher focus on academics, Dumbledore had demanded a ban on all extra-curricular clubs and practices for the middle of the week. All students were expected to be studying for lessons and exams.

The boys had originally been irked by the new arrangements, but quickly found that a night of _nothing_ meant a night of limitless possibilities, as far as mischief went. Their best gags had been on Wednesdays this year.

Since coming back from Christmas break, however, debauchery had been severely lacking in the boys' dorm. One could speculate that it had to do with the riff between Sirius and the other boys, but if you were to ask the wizards themselves, you would, of course, hear nothing of the sort.

James was sprawled on his bed, prized snitch zooming in a monotonous rhythm back and forth from his hand to the air above his head. He had attempted to work on Charms homework, but after a parchment slid off the bed, he proclaimed that it was only fate telling him it wasn't the time for academics. Remus and Peter were on the floor in the corner of the room, various textbooks surrounding them as the former tried to instruct the latter on destructive charms.

The door creaked open to reveal Sirius, looking rather distraught and conflicted.

A twinge of anger battled with a twinge of curiosity in James's head before he settled the disagreement by rolling over in his bed away from the door. It was early for Sirius to be coming up to the dorm but it wasn't a war he felt like waging at the moment. If the bastard wanted to sit in his own bed in silence for a couple hours, that was his prerogative.

"Moo—er Remus." Sirius's usually smooth voice was strangled with nerves. "Could I…talk to you for a moment?"

James flipped back over, sitting up, rapidly. "No, you may _not_." he spat, incensed by the idea.

"James," Remus said, evenly, from across the room. "I don't need your permission on who I can and cannot speak to." His reprimand was firm, with a hint of a challenge.

The messy-haired boy eyed his friend for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders, phlegmatically, and lying back down.

"What do you need, Sirius?" Remus's cool voice turned to the boy still standing in the doorway.

"Could you come outside for…just a minute? I promise it'll be quick."

Lupin paused, studying the face of his former friend. A mix of discomfort and authenticity were etched across the hard lines of the dark-haired wizard. "All right."

"Moony…" James choked in betrayal.

"Merlin's beard, James, he's talking to me, not recruiting me for the Death Eaters!" Remus sighed as though he were talking to a toddler.

"Yet," James grumbled, rolling over on the bed again.

Remus followed Sirius out of the room and closed the door behind them.

"What do you reckon they're talking about, Wormtail?" James called as the minutes ticked by.

"I don't know," Peter said, truthfully. "Maybe Sirius is apologizing?"

"He's already done that." James let the snitch get a good distance before snatching it. "Has Sirius ever tried to talk to you this term?"

Peter shook his head, frantically. "No. Never."

James rolled the snitch over in his hand, eyes narrowed in concentration. "I don't like it." He ran his thumb along one of the dainty wings. "Moony's soft and Sirius knows it. He's going to try and wiggle his way back in, starting with him."

"Is that really so bad, Prongs?" the porky boy asked, bravely.

James huffed in frustration, pocketing the snitch.

Several minutes later, the door opened back up reemitting Remus and Sirius. Sirius headed straight for the lavatory, not casting a single glance toward the dorm. The werewolf went for his own bed.

James sat up, watching the wizards' movement, expectantly. When Sirius had closed the door of the bathroom, he turned toward Remus. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, what the hell did he want to talk to you about?"

Remus sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head. " _Well_ , that's not really any of your business, is it?" He tossed the dirty shirt into the nearby hamper, before sliding between his light blue sheets. With a flick of his wand, the small flames in the lanterns around the room extinguished.

"Oh…well, I guess I'll be going to bed then…" Peter muttered, scurrying up from his stationery seat amidst his homework. He made way for his bed, knocking into the desk along the way. Remus was unconcerned.

The room was quiet for a few moments, aside from the hum of Sirius's shower, before Remus broke the silence. "I'm going to tell Lily I'm a werewolf."

" _Lumos!_ " James shouted, immediately, shooting up in his bed with his wand held toward Remus. "Wh-what?" he sputtered.

"Tomorrow." Remus replied, lazily, rolling toward the wall.

"Remus, what are you—"

"Good night, Prongs."

…

"How's your arse?"

"Shut up, Mary."

"Not good, then?"

"If you want to maintain that pretty face, you best close the oversized hole on it." Lily remarked, picking up her pace.

Mary jogged to keep up, readjusting the books in her arms. "Oh, c'mon, Lovely, loosen up. Some baby Death Eaters attacked you. You've gotta choose to see the humor in it."

"I don't see any humor in it," Lily hissed, before dropping her head. "And keep your bloody voice down when throwing around words like _baby death eaters_ , will you?"

"So touchy."

Lily bit back a retort, choosing to stay silent as she made her way to lean against the wall outside the Divination classroom. Mary took the place next to her, not pressing the issue as they waited for the class to get out.

"Fairchild always goes over," the tall blonde whined, looking anxiously toward her watch.

"If you think the Great Hall is going to run out of food, then go on ahead," Lily snapped.

"Hey, hey," Mary reprimanded, frowning at her friend. "I'm sorry about the arse comment, all right? Can we calm down?"

Lily closed her eyes as she leaned her against the cold stone wall. "I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm just stressed out. Sorry I snapped."

"You need to drop something."

"What?"

"You're too busy. You don't even start your homework until midnight and you've missed breakfast almost every day this week. You're a walking zombie, Lils. Slug Club, tutoring that group of third years—who are quite competent and only coming to stare at your chest, by the way—, this new dueling club, prefect duties. Something's gotta give."

"I'm fine."

"Lily," Mary cast a skeptic, yet empathetic eye, "I love you, but you're not fine."

"Hi, girls!" Anna's voice sang as she swung out of the Divination classroom. "How was Potions?"

Lily pushed off the wall, saying, "Brilliant!" at the same time as Mary said, "Dreadful!"

"We were just talking about Lily's over involved schedule," Mary said, craning her neck across the redhead to address the other witch as they walked to lunch.

"Oh," Anna said, eyes wide in agreement. "Yes, Lily, you really are doing too much."

"I'm _fine_."

"What about that dueling club? You just started it so I'm sure you—"

"I can't drop that."

"Why not? You'e only been attending for a—"

"I'm not quitting the dueling club, okay?" Lily said, sharply. "Let's just drop it."

…

The end of the Gryffindor table was quieter than it had been in six years. The excitement generally generated by the Marauders was missing as the three boys ate in silence. There was no animosity or anger, but a tangible stiffness could easily be detected.

For perhaps the first time, Peter played middle-man.

"Did you see Stacey Isladora's new haircut?" he said, nervously, nose scrunching up every other word as he timidly gnawed on a chicken leg.

James and Remus nodded, not looking up from their plates.

"Flitwick didn't even take up that assignment today. Thank Merlin. It was rather difficult!"

"Peter." James sighed, rolling his eyes toward the shorter boy. "Please just eat your lunch."

"Don't talk to him like that," Remus piped up, darkly.

"What's your problem?" James leaned across the table, cold gaze fixed on the werewolf.

"My _problem_ is you thinking you can dictate every one of our actions."

"Hi, Remus," a new voice interrupted James's retort. He blinked a couple times taking in the intruder.

"Anna said you were looking for me after Divination?" Lily hovered behind the sandy-haired wizard, shifting her weight back and forth.

"Oh, yes," Remus shook his head, an easy smile falling into place, as he turned to address the redhead. "I just wanted to see if you'd like to go over Potions tonight."

"Lily has dueling club." James blurted.

Lily's eyes flicked toward James in surprise as Remus flashed his own glare.

"He's actually right." Lily swayed again, chewing on her lip. "But I could meet up after that? Just in the common room?" she suggested, brightly.

"That's perfect," Remus smiled.

"Okay, great, then I'll er…see you then." She tugged at the sleeve of her jumper before nodding quick goodbyes to the three boys.

Remus turned back around, eyebrows raised in a pointed challenge at James, daring him to comment on the interaction. James's mouth twitched for a moment before he returned to his lunch, silently.

…

"Her skirt was tucked _into_ her stockings! How could you not notice?"

"Because I'm not a pervert!"

James scoffed. "I hardly think noticing a girl's entire thigh being exposed classifies me as a pervert."

"If you had pure intentions then you should have _told_ her." Lily said.

"Because _that_ conversation would have gone well! _Oi, Kristi, nice job on that counter-curse. Oh, and by the way, your hot pink knickers are showing._ "

She snorted. "It's not necessary to include the _color._ "

James laughed, shaking his head in defeat, as he continued his steady pace down the darkened hall. "So how'd you feel about the meeting?"

"It was…good," Lily said, with a bit of apprehension. "I still don't really know what I'm doing there, to be honest. But I think it's helpful. I feel like I'm improving, at least a little."

"You are," he said, bluntly.

"Er…thanks," she replied, lamely, eyes watching the way her short legs struggled to keep up with his long strides. "I like it, and I like everyone there. I just feel…inadequate."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess because everyone else is really sure of themselves. They all _know_ they want to be aurors…"

"So?"

"So, I just don't feel like I fit. I'm still learning a lot of really basic stuff."

"Well, that's just your inferiority complex speaking."

"My what?" her face screw up at his words. "I don't have an inferiority complex…"

"Yeah, you do." he said, firmly, not offering the assertion up for debate. "It's not the dueling club that's making you feel inadequate, it's your head. You've gotta get over that, Evans."

"So I can become an arrogant prick like you?"

His mouth twitched. " _No_ , so you can fill the full space of brilliance that you're capable of."

She didn't respond immediately, because what was she _supposed_ to say to that? The two Gryffindors walked the remainder of the walk back to the tower in silence. When they got to the portrait, Lily paused. "You're not an arrogant prick. I shouldn't have said that," she muttered, uncomfortably yet authentically.

"No worries." he said, lightly.

"And I do appreciate you telling me about Snowcroft's club, really. It's been helpful as I try and figure out what I want to do after Hogwarts."

James gave her a small, encouraging smile.

"You've been helpful, too, so thank you. For the dueling club and lending me that book and being nice…" she trailed off.

He moved his head to get a better look at her, humor dancing in the hazel of his eyes. "Evans, did you just thank me for being _nice?_ "

Lily felt her face begin to heat up. "No, I just meant—"

He cut her off with a string of laughter. It was a pleasant sound that made Lily want to laugh, too, though she couldn't quite recall what was so funny.

"Snarfblat," James said to the Fat Lady, as the portrait swung open to emit them. He crawled on through and turned around when both of the teenagers had managed to make it through the hole. "For the record, I think you're _nice_ , too."

She couldn't help but smile.

"See ya around, Evans," he said, with a grin, before turning for the boys' dorm. Lily watched him retreat, still staring at the staircase for several moments after he had disappeared from view.

"Lily?" a friendly voice brought her back.

She blinked to refocus as she turned toward Remus, who was sitting at the small desk in the corner of the room. Her sage eyes looked at his misty blues blankly before her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He held up his Potions textbook for explanation.

"Oh! Potions! Right!" she cried, hurrying over to take the seat across from him.

"You all right?" he questioned through raised eyebrows as he studied her half-smile.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm great. Absolutely wonderful." she blurted, quickly.

"How was dueling club?"

"Good, great."

"Good, great," he echoed, with a twist of mirth laced through his voice.

" _Remus,_ " she sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's not like that."

"I didn't say it was," he defended, throwing his hands into the air. "If you and my best mate happen to walk into the common room every Thursday night giggling and ogling each other, who am I to pass judgement?"

"From what I saw today," Lily said, ignoring the blatant insinuation, "the two of you didn't exactly look like best mates."

"Yes, well," he shifted uncomfortably, "I have a bit of a confession to make."

"Okay…"

"I do need help with the Potions assignment…but I had ulterior motives that James isn't too pleased with me possessing."

"You're making me nervous."

"No, no," he assured her. "If anyone has cause to be nervous here, it's me."

Lily waited, expectantly, wondering if his confession would have something to do with last night's conversation with Sirius. She had considered asking Remus herself, but ultimately decided that whatever the secret was—and she certainly had her suspicions—he would tell her in due time. She was surprised that he just so happened to be bringing it up the very next day.

His eyes flitted across the room, quickly. Aside from a fourth-year couple snogging in the far corner and a first-year girl asleep on the sofa, the common room was empty. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed, a vertical crease surfacing on her forehead. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes," he said, quickly, before taking a deep breath. "Lily, I consider you one of my closest friends. I hope you know that."

"Of course. The same goes for me about you. Remus…"

"My mum hasn't been sick."

There it was.

"Well, I mean, she's been sick, of course. Several times actually. Common cold, influenza, even got her gall bladder…" he closed his eyes, shuddering slightly. "Right. Sorry. What I mean to say is that all of those times I've been absent from class and prefect rounds, I haven't been travelling. Not really, anyway."

Lily waited, patiently, for him to continue.

"I…Lily, I'm…" he broke off with a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his air in a manner not unlike James. "Merlin, I feel stupid. This shouldn't be this difficult. I'm a Gryffindor for goodness sake."

She smiled, reaching an encouraging hand across the table to rest on his own. "Remus, you don't have to—"

"No," he said, firmly. "I do. I should have done this a long time ago." He took one more brave breath before plowing on in a lowered voice. "Lily, I'm a werewolf."

He immediately attempted to slip his hand out from under hers, no doubt in an attempt to escape the rest of the conversation, but Lily wasn't having any of that. Her grip tightened.

"You know," she began, with a calculated slowness, "I think I already knew that."

"Wh—what?" Remus blanched.

Lily took a breath, gathering thoughts that she hadn't truly even let herself organize. "In fourth year, Craigenmeier assigned that essay on lunar cycles and you flipped. You ran out of the room and Sirius went after you. Then, he came back without you and made up some bizarre excuse for where you went. I don't even remember what he said, but I remember my bullshite radar beeping off the chart." She paused, studying his face to check if it was all right for her to continue. "Severus always had his suspicions, too. God, ever since third year, he was _convinced_ you were a werewolf. I always tried to ignore him, because it wasn't our business, but eventually, I started to see that the things he noticed actually made some sense…"

"Snape knows."

"He…saw you?"

"In a manner of sorts. He…Sirius told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow. That's where I…transform. And James, well he—"

"He saved him." she said, slowly. "I knew that something dangerous happened last semester, but I didn't…" Her eyes widened. "That's why you don't speak to Sirius." she almost whispered as understanding of the past semester sank in.

Remus cast his eyes to their locked hands, giving a small nod.

Lily leaned back in her chair. "Merlin."

"I—I should go upstairs. It's late and—"

"Now hang on," Lily sat up straight, not letting go of his hand. "That's it? You're just going to casually slip lycanthropy into conversation and then cower away to bed?" His eyes widened at her intensity. "No, you're going to sit here while I process this."

"Oh. Er...okay."

"Dumbledore knows."

"Yes."

"And the boys...the Marauders," her nose scrunched, "they know?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

"They what...make sure no one finds out? Confund people who ask questions?"

"Well," he shifted uncomfortably, "they have a bit of a more hands-on approach, in fact."

Lily waited.

"They're Animagi."

She stared at him for a moment, waiting for the punchline.

"Right. Well, I think I'll be going off to bed _now_ then..."

"No, they're not." Lily said, abruptly, stopping Remus' escape.

"Er—they are."

"That's impossible."

"Well, they…did it?" he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Absolutely not."

"Lily. They did. I swear on it."

"But...how..."

"Werewolves are obviously a danger to humans. But animals…"

"…are completely safe," she finished for him, suddenly catching on with wonder. He nodded his confirmation in a _you got it_ manner. " _Merlin_ , so they…go with you."

"They do."

"That's so…dangerous," Lily remarked.

"I know," Remus said, abruptly sliding back into his defenses. "I tried to discourage them, I swear, but once they found out I was transforming alone, they wouldn't take no for an answer. They worked for three years to learn the magic behind it, but I swear, Lily, we take precautions and I would never intentionally—"

"No," Lily cut him off. "I don't mean _you're_ dangerous. You're _Remus._ " He looked uncomfortable again, but forced a smile of acknowledged appreciation. "Becoming an Animagus. It's incredibly advanced magic. Could have gone terribly wrong. They could be expelled!"

" _That's_ what you're worried about?" Remus asked, incredulously. "I just told you that I become a blood thirsty monster once a month and you're worried about those idiots being kicked out of _school_? How about being worried I may _murder_ them?" His head reeled closer to hers. "Or _you?_ Haven't you considered the fact that you've been stowing away in the library with a dark creature for hours at a time?"

Lily's eyes narrowed as she withdrew her hand from his vice-like grip. "Dark creature? No offense or anything, Remus, but get over yourself." She leaned her own head toward his, noses almost touching. "You're in my top five favourite people in this entire castle and I would put my life in your hands without a second of hesitation. So stop being melodramatic."

"But I—"

" _I don't care_." she insisted. "Besides," she leaned back in her chair, a smirk twitching at her lips, "every girl likes a bad boy."

"Oh, sweet Merlin."

Lily cackled. "Don't worry, Remus, you're not my type."

"Oh, and what is your type?" he asked, in what Lily assumed was his attempt at sounding like a confidante.

"Like I would tell you!"

"I thought I was one of your top five favourite people in the castle!"

"You are," she nodded, "but—"

" _But_ I may blab to a certain roommate of mine once you confirm what I already know."

Lily's mouth opened and then closed. Finally, she managed, "I don't know what your problem is, but you are so far off base."

"Don't worry, I'm patient."

"You're… _patient?_ What the hell does that even mean?"

He stood up with a bit of a crooked smile that served as a reminder that this gentle, kind wizard was still a Marauder through and through. "G'night, Lily." Before he got to the stairs, he turned around with a more humble expression, "Oh, and thanks," his eyes shifted around the room again, "For…y'know." She nodded. "And…you're in my top five, too." With another small grin, he escaped up the stairs.

…

Remus slipped into the boys' dorm and headed for his bed. He caught the eye of James as he walked in, but the bespectacled boy looked away just as quickly.

Sirius, as per usual, seemed to be waiting until the last minute before curfew to turn in and Peter must have been in the bathroom because the room was empty.

"Are you going to ask me about my conversation with Lily?" Remus asked, bluntly.

James looked up from the book he was reading on his bed. "Didn't plan on it." he said with disinterest.

"All right," Remus replied, grabbing the folded, clean shirts the houseelves had left on his bed and placing them, neatly, in his trunk. "How was dueling club?"

"Good, great," James replied.

"Seems to be the common theme tonight."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Peter chose that moment to emerge from the bathroom, confirming Remus's suspicions. "Hey, Moony, how did it go with Lily?"

The werewolf shot another glance over at James, who had set his book slightly down and seemed quite contrary to his previous expression of disinterest.

Remus sighed. "It was fine. She took it well."

"And did you tell her…about us?" Peter asked, nervously.

"I did. And she took that well, too. Honestly, she was more concerned with you lot getting kicked out of school than me having a chance to kill you once a month."

Peter chuckled and James had to lift his book to conceal a growing smile.

"The world doesn't deserve Lily Evans." Lupin declared with a shrug as if this were a fundamental fact of life.

"Here, here," Peter added.

"Here, here," James murmured from behind his book.

…

A/N: This chapter has been written fifty different times because I just couldn't figure out whether I wanted Lily to confront Remus or already know about Remus or him confront her or James tell her or a million other different scenarios for the "big reveal." This chapter turned out kind of lame in the end, but I decided to move on from it because I have other fish to fry. That being said, I have the next several chapters fully written and I like where we're going from here on out! Thanks for sticking with me, friends. As always, please review! This is my first multi-chapter and I have so much to learn. Help me learn!

xoxo Abi


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hi, friends. 1) Several of you PMed me about getting a notification of a new chapter earlier this week but nothing appearing when you clicked the link. I apologise for this confusion! I posted this chapter and for some reason, FF messed with the formatting or something and turned my writing into some sort of html code which was unreadable. I attempted to backtrack and reupload, but my work was lost, and since I am an unorganised mess right now, I was unable to find the work from this chapter in my stored documents on my computer. Therefore, I had to rewrite this entire chapter (yikes). I stay ahead by several chapters so I have clear direction for where the story is going, which left me in a pickle, because I had a difficult time remembering everything that was originally in this chapter, but I tried my best, and I believe this is sufficient for the rest of the story!**

 **2) Thank you for your patience and kind words. It makes my heart go pit-pat when I see reviews and PMs. Thank you, thank you!**

 ***Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the characters and worlds of this story.**

 _…_

After her conversation with Remus, Lily had ended up pulling an all-nighter to finish her homework. They had never managed to get to the Potions work and she had also let Charms, Transfiguration, and Ancient Runes pile up.

She popped a vial of an energy potion a little after midnight, but by 8am—when breakfast began—it was wearing off and Lily's night was catching up with her.

"Morning, sunshine," Anna sang as she swung into the seat next to Lily at breakfast. The red-head grunted her reply.

"Hi there, gorilla-girl. You weren't in the dorm when we went to sleep _or_ when we woke up. What happened?" Mary asked, taking her own seat across from them.

"Homework."

"Ah." Mary scooped some eggs onto her plate. "You could always take my approach."

"Which is?"

"Don't do it at all."

Lily groaned in disapproval as Anna tittered appreciatively beside her.

"Eh, who cares," Mary waved off, unconcerned. "We're all going to graduate and be turned into Ministry soldiers anyway."

"We are _not_ ," Anna scoffed. "I, for one, will be a world-renowned novelist."

"Your writing sucks," Mary said, bluntly, reaching clumsily across the table to grab the coffee. "Shite, we're out." She craned her neck around and yelled down the length of the table. "Oi! Who's got coffee?!"

Several Gryffindors rolled their eyes in irritation at the loud witch, but a second-year boy hopped up from his seat in a hurry, sloshing the liquid as he ran her the pitcher from the other end of the table.

"Thanks, love," she grinned, taking the tall pitcher from him, gracelessly. She turned back around on the bench, only to meet the pointed stares of Lily and Anna, who were fixed on a place over Mary's shoulder. The blonde witch turned back around, and saw that the second-year was still standing there, blue eyes wide as saucers.

"Oh, er…" She awkwardly fished around on the table, before apparently deciding that a buttered piece of toast was an acceptable token of appreciation. "Here." She slapped the piece of bread into the boy's hand and turned back around, quickly. The second-year stood in shock for another moment before walking back to his end of the table, in a confused daze.

Anna and Lily cracked up.

"I think he was just looking for a 'thank you.'" Anna managed through her cackles.

"Bugger."

"No offense, Mary," Lily snorted. "But please _never_ procreate."

"No, offense, Lily. But please eat shite."

…

"So _then_ he told me that she wasn't even a natural blonde!" Juniper finished, dramatically, dissolving into laughs as the two boys across from her watched her with a mix of bewilderment and fear.

On her right, James was smiling along, trying to encourage his mates to at least _act_ entertained. "That's wild, June! Really, I can't believe that!"

" _Ouch_ ," Peter said, as if he had been kicked under the table or _something_ , "Yes, yes, that's…wild."

"Absolutely," Remus said, quickly, with a forced smile, to avoid the same under-the-table fate as his porky friend.

Juniper rarely ate meals with the boys as she liked to spend meal times with her own fifth-year mates, but she and James had been busy and their schedules hadn't meshed recently, so they were trying to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time together, which apparently included breakfast, much to the chagrin of Remus and Peter, who...quite frankly...didn't know what to make of the chipper witch. Or James being attached to her.

"What about you, Rem?" she asked, as he struggled to remain neutral in response to her nauseating attempt at a nickname. "Your mum's a Muggle, right?"

Remus nodded, slowly.

"Has she ever dyed her hair? Like…at a shop?" June asked, green eyes wide in excitement.

"I…don't know, actually. Maybe?"

"Oh," she deflated. "Well, no matter," she said, brightening again, "I think it's brilliant. You go under a machine type thing and then _poof_. Muggles have their own sort of magic, honestly!"

"They do," Remus offered with a half-smile.

She seemed to notice that the sandy-haired boy was no longer engaged in her conversation, so she turned to James. "Are we still on for tonight?"

He nodded. "After Quidditch, right? Yeah, definitely."

"No, before Quidditch, after dinner. I have a study group later tonight."

"There isn't a gap between dinner and Quidditch, though. Quidditch practice starts at seven."

Her brows furrowed. "But we agreed to hang out tonight."

"Yeah, for _after_ my Quidditch practice."

"No, it was before," she insisted, through pursed lips. "I wouldn't have agreed if it had been for after. I told you I have study group."

"And I told _you_ I have Quidditch immediately after dinner. It's been scheduled for two weeks." his voice dropped significantly in volume, a harsh edge accompanying it.

A flicker of irritation moved over her face before she shook it off, managing a small smile. "Would it be possible for you to move the practice back an hour or so? I hear you have pull with the captain." she attempted to tease.

" _No,_ " he said, with a frustrated frown, "I can't just _push_ practice back. I have a whole team relying on me."

She didn't try to cover the annoyance this time. " _Okay_ , well you also have a _girlfriend_ who you never get to see."

"And that's my fault?" He set his fork down, fully turning toward the witch. "You're just as busy as I am with prefect rounds and study groups. You have study groups every night of the week, for Merlin's sake. How much studying does one have to do?"

"I'm _trying_ to pass my O.W.L.s, _James._ You could be a bit more understanding here."

"I am!" he cried, abandoning all pretenses of politeness. "But you're getting upset with me about being a rubbish boyfriend when you're just as bad at being a bloody girlfriend!" his voice had escalated since the beginning of the conversation and it suddenly occurred to James how very quiet the table had become.

Juniper blinked at him for a bit before standing from the bench and exiting the hall, stiffly. James groaned in frustration and turned back to his mates, both hands fisted in his air. Remus and Peter were watching him with expressions of discomfort and awe.

"Was that my fault?" he asked through closed eyes.

"It wasn't _not_ your fault." Peter squeaked, lamely.

"Brilliant. Bloody brilliant." James put his head into his arms on the table.

…

"Is this seat taken?"

Lily looked up from her textbook in surprise. James Potter was hovering awkwardly above the vacant seat at her small table in the library. He shifted the bag on his shoulder as he looked at Lily with discomfort.

"Uh…no. Go ahead," she said, making to move her spread out books and parchments to her side of the table.

"Thanks," he muttered, dropping clumsily into the chair. Lily watched as he silently took out a textbook and began to read, a frown firmly in place. His hair was sticking out even more than usual and his glasses were particularly crooked.

"I didn't know you knew where the library was," she mused, returning her eyes to her own book.

"Figured that sixth year was as good a time as any to locate it," she could hear the slight grin in his voice.

"Seems rational. So," she began again, trying not to let her voice reveal how curious she truly was, "is there a reason today was chosen for this special endeavour?"

"Just seemed like the library was the place to be."

Apparently, he wasn't feeling up to chat. Which was _fine_ by her. After all, she could count on one hand the amount of cordial conversations she had held with the boy outside of Snowcroft's dueling club.

"And," he broke the stretch of silence after a couple minutes. Lily looked up from her book in surprise. "I was supposed to meet June in here to study, but she isn't exactly thrilled with me right now, so it appears she replaced me with some of her mates."

"Ah, yes," Lily nodded with a wince. "The giggling girl table by the entrance." She adopted a sheepish smile. "No offense to them, but they're the main reason I'm stuffed here in the back."

"I don't blame you. Those shrieks are enough to split a head wide open," he sighed, massaging at his temples. "But anyway, Remus has Astronomy and Peter was meeting up with some Ravenclaw bird for Charms tutoring, so I decided to just stick it out in here and try to get some work done."

"I'm impressed."

"I'm full of surprises, Evans," he grinned.

She smiled, amiably, in return and resumed her studying.

The teenagers managed to work a solid half hour without feeling the need to talk. It was rare to feel so comfortable sitting across from someone and Lily couldn't help but consider how truly far they had come. Less than a year ago, she had told him off for his arrogance and immaturity and he had basically fallen off of her planet. Every moment she could recall involving James before _that_ was even worse, riddled by humiliation and cruelness.

The boy sitting across from her was normal and had a good sense of humour and a drive to help people (other than himself which was a refreshing change) and…he didn't smell so bad, either.

"Do you have the Transfiguration notes on you?"

"From today?" she asked, blinking quickly out of her reverie.

"Yeah."

"Uh yeah, somewhere. Hang on," she leaned over rifling through the assorted parchments in her stack. "Here they are, but...be warned. I didn't understand anything she was saying today so my notes aren't exactly linear."

He twisted his neck to see the notes as he leaned down over the table, nose almost touching the parchment. Without looking up, he said, "The cross-species or human stuff?" His glasses slid down his nose as he got even closer to the paper.

"Both…"

She expected a laugh, but he just looked up and pushed his glasses back toward his eyes, with no dominant emotion playing on his face. "Did you read the Switch bloke's piece?"

"From _Transfiguration Today_?" He nodded. "I did, but he doesn't even address the colour aspect."

"Well, yeah. That's because it's so basic." He didn't intend it to be insulting, Lily noticed. It was just a statement, blunt and straight-forward like so much of James's character. If someone else had said it, she would have been offended, but, coming from James, it was just a string of honesty that she found she didn't mind...even if she didn't particularly understand it. "If you get the actual formation right, the colour just falls in."

"Not for me." she grumbled.

He looked at her again, this time with a jarring look. The intricate marble of his eyes seemed to pop out of his eyes and connect directly with her very soul. Lily felt herself involuntarily stop breathing to avoid looking away. She had been on the receiving end of a variety of looks from James Potter over the years, ranging from disdain to humour. But _this_ look was nothing like those. It was piercing and...rather unsettling.

It lasted only a second, before he blinked and looked back toward her notes. His eyes flicked across the pages quickly before fixating on a certain spot and scrunching his nose. "This here," he shoved his finger at a bullet point, "what does that say?"

"The wand must be level and light in the hand."

"After that."

She returned her eyes to the parchment. "As you twist, be sure that there is no movement in the rest—"

"No, no, that's not right."

Lily's face reddened. "That's exactly what McGonagall said, I swear."

"I _know_ , but who cares about that rubbish. You must have spent…what, half the class… copying down notes about the wandwork?" he grabbed for the parchment, carelessly crinkling the edges. "No wonder you can't get the colour."

"The wandwork is important!" she defended, her voice rising to a volume a little louder than was probably appropriate for the library.

"The _wandwork_ is secondary. I keep telling you, Evans, it's _here_ ," he pointed to his gut, "not here." He reached across the table and touched her forehead. Her eyes widened at the brief contact, but he didn't seem to notice. "Where are your notes about the follow-through?"

"I…I didn't have time to catch all of it…"

"Here," he flipped the parchment over roughly, helping himself to her quill and beginning to scribble furiously. He wrote for several minutes without stopping before twisting the parchment back to her. "Look, those are the important parts. On Monday, you should ask Minnie about this, though, because I always get mixed up," he motioned toward one of his messy bullet points.

She sped read through his additions to her notes and then looked up at him, incredulously. "How?"

"What?"

" _How_ did you know all of that? You asked me for _my notes_ and then ended up teaching me more in," she paused to count, "six bullet points than McGonagall did in an entire class period."

His hand jumped to his hair. "I just like Transfiguration…"

"Like it? God, Potter, you're ace at it! You sat in class and slept today while—actually, wait a minute. Where are _your notes_?"

"I…don't have them with me."

" _Potter_."

"I didn't…take any." he said lamely.

Lily's mouth dropped. "Oh my _God._ You didn't take any bloody notes, but you know everything!"

"I don't know _every—_ "

"Don't you dare go and turn humble on me _now,_ Potter." She stared at him in wonder. "How do you do it?" she repeated.

He just shrugged his shoulders, helplessly, obviously uncomfortable under the combination of her affirmation and questioning.

"What are you even studying for?" She reached across the table for his textbook as he jerked it out from under her, holding it to him, protectively. She fixed him with a dangerous glare. " _Potter_ , what class is that for?"

"It's uh…"

" _Oh my God!_ "

" _What?!"_

" _A Compendium of Common Curses and their Counter-Actions._ That's not even a required book! You're reading _for fun_!"

He paled as though he had been caught having a tryst with Professor McGonagall. "I'm not reading for _fun_ , it's just so I can be well-prepared…" but he trailed off, not even having a proper defense for his actions.

"I can't believe this," she shook her head, red tendrils bouncing out of her plait. "Six years. For six years, I've thought you lot were all…I don't even know, cheating off of Remus or being passed by the professors just so they didn't have to keep you any longer than they had to! But you're…Potter, you're _smart_!" she exclaimed, eyes wild. "I literally _can't believe this._ "

"Can't believe what?" a new, light voice echoed.

Lily looked up quickly, taking in Juniper's wide eyes of curiosity. The redhead had to stifle a smile as she realized the younger girl genuinely felt as if she were missing out on something spectacular. "Nothing, I was just telling Potter something from…Transfiguration."

"Oh." The mention of her boyfriend seemed to remind Juniper about his existence in the world. She turned to him, stiffly. "Hi."

"Hi," he said, squeakily, hand fisting into his hair.

"Could we talk?" she asked with a pathetic attempt at coldness. Any emotion off the 'joy scale' seemed out of place on Juniper Alessio's face.

"Yeah, sure, let me just…um one minute," he made to gather his things, but Lily stopped him.

"I was actually just leaving, so you can have my seat, June," she smiled, grabbing her own books and parchments. "My free period is almost over, so I should get going." She shuffled her parchments into a disheveled stack and picked them up, quickly. "Er—good to see you, June…Potter." She gave a quick nod to each of the teenagers and scurried away.

…

He knew he should keep his attention on the girlfriend sitting in front of him, but he couldn't make his eyes see the reasoning of that and his gaze followed Lily as she hurried away and rounded the corner of a bookshelf out of sight. He turned back to find dark green eyes boring holes into his own. "You wanted to…talk?" he asked, wincing.

"Yes," June nodded, sharply, head held high as she continued to struggle under the weight of her frustration. "I think…" Her mouth twitched. "I…" Her shoulders dropped and her pursed lips were replaced by a tired frown. "I can't be mad at you." Her eyes dropped to the table.

James couldn't help but grin a little at the hurt puppy look on his girlfriend's face.

"I just…I want to! I _should_ be mad at you, but I'm just…not." she winced, looking back up at him. "Does that make me lame?"

"Lame?" he laughed. "I think that makes you the most wonderful girl in the world."

She chuckled pitifully. "Really? Because I feel like little fights are an essential to a healthy relationship and it makes me nervous that I can't maintain a bit of anger for even two hours after our first ever disagreement."

"Fights are _definitely_ not essential." he assured her with a grin, stretching his long leg under the table to hook around her own. "I'm sorry I was acting like an arse. We were both confused."

"No, I'm sorry," she gushed. "I've been so stressed about O.W.L.s that I haven't even considered how mutual our busyness is."

"We've just…got to be better. We'll find time for each other, I promise. This is gonna work."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he smiled confidently.

...

 _Lily,_

 _I need to talk to you. It's of utmost importance._

 _Please meet me by the Black Lake at 9pm next Thursday._

 _Severus_

Lily noticed the folded parchment sticking out of her Potions textbook when she got back to her dorm late Friday night. She hadn't seen him come anywhere near her during class, but it wasn't irregular for him to slink around, undetected, as quiet and secretive as he was these days.

She read the note four times, trying to decipher what could be important enough to need to break her orders to leave her alone, but not important enough for it to be immediate. Thursday at 9pm was an extremely specific time…and almost a full week away.

A cryptic note was totally Sev's style, but she couldn't determine what he could possibly want to talk to her about. The fall semester had been difficult, sorting through her feelings of hurt concerning Severus and her simultaneous longing to talk to her former best friend. His general stalking of her for the entire term only made things worse. After a couple particularly heated arguments, she had finally managed to convince him to leave her alone. And he had. The two had not exchanged so much as a glance—aside from the unfortunate run-in outside the library.

Ultimately, Lily decided she was too overwhelmed to decide what to do about the letter at the moment. She folded the parchment back up and set it under a book on her bedside table. (Having a roommate like Mary had long trained her to not leave private matters sitting in the open, unattended.)

…

 **Hope you enjoyed! Until next time!**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	17. Chapter 17

***Disclaimer: I own nothing. JKR owns everything.**

Saturday morning brought reprieve from rain and a castle of restless students, itching to get out of the castle and into the sunshine. A warm front had accompanied the previous precipitation and everyone's spirits seemed to be high.

Well, most everyone.

Lily had a restless night and woke up the next morning, anxious for some alone time at her favourite window seat in the common room. The letter from Sev had rubbed her funny and she needed some extensive thought to decide what to do about it. She thanked God as she watched the students on the grounds partaking in various outdoor activities. Beautiful weather meant an empty common room and that is precisely what Lily was needing.

Peace. Quiet. Solitude.

"Lily!"

 _Damn_.

"Morning, June," she forced a smile in the direction of the approaching fifth-year. Lily took in the younger girl's appearance with raised eyebrows. A hot pink blouse and a bright blue skirt. It was edgier than anything Lily would ever begin to consider, but it somehow worked for Juniper. In fact, as Lily's eyes flicked toward her own more neutral ensemble of a grey blouse and denim jeans, she felt a quick dip in her self-esteem.

"I was hoping I could find you here!" the brunette witch sang.

"You were?"

"James told me you like to come sit here to think."

Lily's self-consciousness suddenly peaked. She had never known that her 'window seat time' was such an observable pattern. A certain sense of embarrassment accompanied this revelation. Which other of her personal secrets were public knowledge to the likes of James Potter?

"Oh. Yes, well…here I am," Lily managed, cheerfully, flailing her arms in a gesture she sincerely hoped didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt.

Juniper squished onto the window seat (which was very obviously meant for one), patting Lily's feet to convey her wish for them to make room. Lily hastily obliged, at a loss for another option. "Speaking of James," the witch began, turning cozily toward Lily, "we need to hammer out the details of his party."

Like a dumping of ice water, Lily was suddenly hit with the memory of her conversation with Remus. "Oh! June, I totally meant to talk to you about this sooner and I just got so busy and forgot." She shook her head in self-chastisement, biting her lip in anticipation for the younger witch's disappointment. "Tomorrow night isn't going to work for your party."

"Why not?" Juniper's eyes widened. "I convinced Hufflepuff to switch rounds with me!"

"Well…Pott—James is busy tomorrow evening."

"Busy?" June's nose scrunched up. "With what?"

 _Oh._

"I…don't know."

"You…don't know…" June echoed, slowly, obvious confusion rising in her eyes. Her face further contorted as her posture wilted. "Did he _tell_ you he was busy?"

"Yes! Well…no, not exactly."

With a jump, June's green eyes lit with a sort of recognition. " _Oh_ , I know what this is about…"

Suddenly, Lily felt stupid. Of _course_ Juniper knew what it was all about. She _was_ Potter's girlfriend, after all. If Remus had told Lily, a girl who had no specific connection to any of the Marauders other than being a mate, he had obviously told June. It had to be difficult to hide being a _bloody Animagus_ from your girlfriend, so it only made sense. Juniper had probably known for months.

"This is because James used to have a thing for you."

 _What?_

"And so now you feel weird since he and I are dating."

 _WHAT?_

"Um…" Lily swallowed hard, willing her face to remain neutral, "actually, no. June, that has nothing to do wi—"

"It's okay," Juniper smiled in what Lily supposed was meant to be a reassuring smile, "I totally understand. Y'know Aloe actually told me you would probably react like this. I thought since you and James are friends, now, though, that it wouldn't be a big deal." She placed a hand on Lily's knee.

The red-head stared at the hand. "Juniper, I—"

"He doesn't like you anymore, you know," the younger witch said, suddenly.

It wasn't malicious or threatening; just a matter-of-fact statement. She simply felt it was her apparent duty to inform the other witch that any pre-existing feelings were gone. The clumsy sort of bluntness was quite reminiscent of James and the way he barreled through bullshit to hit the mark with every comment and observation. In a world of passive aggression, Lily couldn't help but respect this particular trait, while also being quite taken aback.

But for there to be any validity to June's statement, there would have had to have been actual feelings in the first place and _everyone_ knew that James's fascination with Lily had purely been an attention stunt.

"I know that he used to." Juniper continued, hand still resting daintily on Lily's knee. "I'm in your house and I'm not stupid. He used to ask you out in the Great Hall and show off during Quidditch games for you." she offered as explanation. "But that's done. He doesn't like you anymore. He likes me."

Lily couldn't recall a time she had felt less comfortable in her life. The content of the conversation paled in comparison to the manner in which Juniper provided it. The younger witch talked about James' affections for Lily as if she were a pair of trousers he had outgrown. Lily had never heard romantic inclination be spoken of so casually and simplistically.

"Er, okay."

"So there's no need to feel awkward about any of this. James is so happy you are mates now and you _know_ that I've always admired you, Lily. It would really mean so much to us both if you would help me!"

"June," Lily shifted in place, taking a deep breath. Obviously, she was going to have to spell it out for the witch. "I want to help you—I really do. But P—James won't be around! You'd be throwing a party for no one. I swear this isn't because of our…er…history," she winced as she said it, knowing it's what Juniper expected to hear, but feeling nauseated none-the-less.

The younger witch's face fell. "I don't understand. Are the Marauders throwing him a party? They didn't tell me they were! Do you think they didn't want me to come to it or—"

She was spiraling and Lily did _not_ _do spiraling_ , so she did what any level-headed, competent, quick young woman would do.

"He has Quidditch!" Lily blurted, the lie sliding out easier than it should from a girl who prided herself on her morality.

"What?" June's face screwed up. "I thought Quidditch was Monday, Tuesday, Friday for this week. That's what he told me…"

"He had to add an extra! Just decided it today, actually," Lily continued, quickly, hoping that the high-pitch nature of her voice was merely in her head. "Slytherin match is coming up, y'know. Tensions are high!"

She frowned. "We don't play Slytherin until April."

Maybe if Lily pushed on the window hard enough, it would mercifully allow her to fall through and meet a fate far more enjoyable than the current situation.

"I meant," Lily thought quickly. One of her best friends was on the team, damn it, she should really be able to recall this. "Ravenclaw…?"

"Oh, that's right," June sighed, leaning against the window. "Bugger."

"Yes!" Lily struggled to withhold a smile of victory. "Bugger indeed."

…

By noon, Lily was convinced she was the only one left in the castle. Lunch would be served soon, but she doubted many students would even make the effort to come back to eat. It had been such a long time since there was a weekend without a Quidditch game or unpleasant weather, everyone seemed intent on soaking up the sunlight until it disappeared over the mountains.

Lily hadn't eaten all day, but found that her appetite just wasn't present. Her attention was preoccupied with thoughts of Severus's note and Remus's lycanthropy and Olivia's disappearance and Petunia's wedding and Jun—

"What. The. Hell."

Lily blinked out of her thoughts as she took in the approaching—and apparently choleric—mass of James Potter. "What's wrong?"

"Quidditch practice? _Quidditch practice?_ " he seethed through gritted teeth, caramel eyes alight with a rage that Lily hadn't witnessed in quite some time. It was all so very _fifth year_.

"What are you t—"

"You told her I had _Quidditch practice?_ "

Oh.

"I understand your determination to hate me forever, but this is a bit over the line, yeah?" he spat as he crossed his arms, unashamedly invading the personal space of her window seat.

Her face screwed up in confusion. "I didn't mean to—"

"For Godric's sake, Evans, why would you tell her—"

" _If you would let me speak_ , Potter, you'll find that I have a damn good explanation!" she huffed, eyes flashing. "Your doting girlfriend wanted to throw you a bloody surprise party tomorrow night, but I happened to know that you're going to be a bit preoccupied with _more pressing matters._ She was persistent and so I said the first thing I could think of!"

" _Quidditch?_ "

"Why is that such a crime?! What other hobbies do you even have?"

A pained expression twisted onto his face briefly before being replaced by the residential scowl. "That's not the point, Evans! She wants to come _watch._ "

Lily sunk into her seat a bit. "Oh…"

" _Yeah_ ," he fumed. "She wants to come watch the Quidditch practice that _doesn't bloody exist_ because," his voice jumped to an obnoxiously girly octave, " _it's your birthday and I want to spend every possible minute with you_." His tone dropped back to it's previously menacing quality, albeit at an almost inaudible volume. "Riddle me this, Evans. How am I supposed to turn into a bloody _stag_ and be with a _werewolf_ if she is with me _every possible minute._ "

"It sounds like the issue is your overzealous girlfriend, not me!"

"No, the _issue_ is you making up shite without talking to me first!"

" _What?_ " Lily's voice raised as she stood up from the window cushion, outraged. "I said you had practice to _help you_."

"A damn good job it did!" he shouted, using his full height as an advantage to tower over her.

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" Lily shouted, jutting her chin out defiantly.

"I can't just tell her my best mate is a _werewolf!_ We've never told _anyone_ that!"

"You told _me!_ " she pointed out, standing on her tiptoes.

James deflated a bit. "Well," he tried, stumbling. "That's…that's different!"

"How so?" she asked through pursed lips.

"You're…it's not…," he frowned, before shaking his head and narrowing his eyes. "It just is! The point is that June doesn't know and she _can't_ know. So now I have to come up with something to get her off my back."

In that moment, she put everything on her mental scale, weighing her pride and desire to protect Remus. It was a close call, but Lupin didn't deserve to be trumped by Lily's righteous anger.

"Look," Lily said, falling back on her heels, "I don't know what the deal is with telling Juniper about Remus, but whatever. That's between you boys. All I know is that your girlfriend asked me to do something that would cause a problem and I had to think fast. I was trying to help…I swear."

His hardened glare stayed fixed on her for a bit, before the rich chocolate undertones seemed to mute and the deep creases on his forehead smoothed out. "Yeah," he said, quietly, taking a shaky breath. "Okay."

"Yeah…okay," she echoed, skeptically.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, okay, I believe you."

Emerald eyes widened. _Just like that?_

"You…do?"

"You care about Remus, right?"

Lily's eyebrows furrowed. "Of course."

"Okay, then…I believe you." he said, matter-of-factly.

"All right…"

"Sorry I acted like…" he fumbled for a word.

"The ghost of your former self?" Lily offered.

His eyes shot up to hers, quickly, before he saw the smirk twitching at her lips. "I was going to say a prat. But," a smile of his own appeared, "yeah…that, too."

"I'll talk to Juniper and smooth it over."

"No," he shook his head, "I'll figure it out. It's my mess anyway. Of all the days of the month," he mumbled more to himself than the present witch, "my birthday had to fall on a bloody full moon…"

"Shame you can't push it back."

"I tried that, actually. Told it that it's already had sixteen other chances for the spotlight, but it didn't take kindly to being told what to do. Something about being an _annual thing_."

"Pity, that."

"So, we're…good?"

Lily struggled to respond immediately, suffering from shock at his insistence on reparations. The James she knew—the James she had argued with countless times before in this very room—never would have given a second thought to mending feelings after a quarrel.

"Yeah, we're good."

James smiled an authentic, face-altering ( _knock a girl off her feet)_ sort of smile. "Brilliant."

She couldn't help but laugh at his choice of reply, because it served both as an appropriate reply to his cheerful declaration and a distraction from the jelly-like sensation currently characterizing her knees. What was that even about?

"You going to lunch? I'm headed that way if you want some company to walk with."

"I was going to skip out, but I think I may actually take you up on that."

"Great! Peter is still sleeping, the lazy sod, but Remus and June are already in the Hall. I just came here to…er—yell at you?" he said with a pathetic wince and an apologetic grin. "But you can sit with us!"

"Actually," Lily began, not pausing to consider the words spewing naturally out of her mouth, "I just remembered I told Mary I would wait for her here so we could walk together."

"Oh," James said with a hint of disappointment before a trademark grin fell back into place, "well, no matter! Cheers, Evans." He turned for the portrait hole.

"Cheers," she muttered as she watched his retreating figure.

She wasn't sure what exactly prompted her instantaneous change of tune or blatant lie about waiting for Mary (who was no doubt in an abandoned classroom snogging Christmas Tree Boy), but when James mentioned that Remus and June would be sitting with them at lunch, the meal lost its appeal. Not that Lily expected it to be a one-on-one sort of encounter. The two had only just began to be friendly, after all, and if the intended nature of their most recent encounter counted for anything, it seemed that their relationship was just as volatile and prone to anger as ever.

Perhaps it was just rationality that had washed over Lily. She could hardly consider James her _friend_ and eating lunch with someone definitely crossed over into that territory.

Lily Evans had always been quite rational, after all.

…

James wasn't sure where exactly he had gone wrong—well aside from the initial yelling and accusing thing—but it was probably all for the best.

Things with Juniper were going so well. For the first time in his life, he was in a steady, healthy relationship with a girl who was kind, smart, funny, and not a complete bimbo. Remus called it "growing up" but James was happy to settle for "finally landing a decent bird."

Regardless, what he certainly didn't need was someone like Lily Evans swooping in and ruining things. Not that it would be her fault, of course. It's not as if the girl cold help being bloody beautiful and brilliant. That was James's curse to deal with, solely.

And he would have to be a royal idiot to screw things up with Juniper _or_ Lily after he had finally achieved a level of civility with the latter. It was almost comical that he had managed to secure a cordial place in her life _after_ he had managed to secure a steady girlfriend.

(Not that Juniper was just a means to an end, because James had grown up a lot and knew better than to assume a girl was a pawn in a game.)

It was all very comfortable, his life. The semester had started off on the sour side when things with Sirius had gone awry, but even that seemed to be more background noise than anything else at this point. He still had Remus and Peter. And even though he didn't have as much time to devote to her as he'd have liked, Juniper's presence in his everyday life made him happy, too.

James Potter had a good life and he wasn't daft enough to mess it up just because a girl he had finally given up on decided to start listening when he spoke.

Even so, there was nothing inherently wrong with his newfound friendship with the said girl. One look at Lily could alert anyone of the strictly platonic nature, anyway. Perhaps she had stopped hating his guts and praying for his death, but that didn't mean spending time with her was a threat to his relationship. Certainly not.

As James walked to lunch alone, assuring himself of how very _in control_ everything was, he couldn't help but notice the familiar sting that accompanied Lily's rejection. This was a simple lunch invite…not a Hogsmeade date…or marriage proposal ( _he had reached a low in fifth year, all right?_ ), but it didn't feel all that differently to hear the primly worded, yet ultimately negative intentioned response fall from the witch's lips.

…

"Not gonna lie, Ginge, it sounds a bit dodgy to me."

"I know," Lily sighed, battling for balance as she multi-tasked; walking and pulling her hair up into a ponytail. Friday's rain had left behind a humidity that permeated the air with unwelcome stickiness. After lunch, Sirius had managed to coax Lily out of the common room for some "fresh air." They quickly found that "fresh" was hardly an appropriate adjective to describe the gross humidity.

"What if he's in trouble, though?"

"It's Snivellus, he's always in trouble," Sirius deadpanned as he led the way through a break in the shrubbery.

"Hardy har," she said drily, hissing as a twig sliced her ankle. "Where are we going anyway?"

"The lake, I told you."

"The lake is _that_ way, git."

"The other lake."

"There _is_ no other lake."

"Au contraire, madame," he hummed, offering no further explanation. Lily had been friends with Sirius long enough to know that no amount of pressing would encourage the wizard to reveal what he wasn't ready to reveal.

"So you think I should just not show up?" she switched back to the subject of Snape's odd note.

"I think that this sounds like bird drama and that isn't really my speed."

" _Sirius_."

" _And,_ " he continued, _"_ I think you're probably not going to listen to what I say, either way, and that you're only bringing this up to me because you want to externally process."

"I don't—"

"Am I correct?"

"Yes," she said, a bit sheepishly, as she struggled to maintain her breathing pattern, suffering under the strain of the steep incline. "Are we close?"

"When is it?" he said, ignoring her.

"When's what?" Lily stalled.

"The meeting with Snivellus."

Lily paused, considering her options. If she told Sirius when the note said to meet Severus, he would no doubt insist on coming along. But Lily knew better than to entertain _that_ idea because if there was one person to make Severus shut down and turn into the worst version of himself, it was Sirius Black.

"I can't remember. I'll have to check the note later tonight."

Sirius shrugged, not sensing any discrepancy in her lie. "Well, as long as it's not tomorrow night, or any night, honestly, because that's just sketchy, I think you're probably all right."

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, wincing as she remembered the _9pm_ instructions. "No, it's in the middle of the day."

"Here we are," Sirius stopped, abruptly, hunching down to squeeze through a couple large bushes.

Lily followed, grimacing as the thorns raked along her hands, before she stopped, stock-still.

Sirius hadn't been lying. There really was another lake on the Hogwarts grounds.

"What? But…how…?" Lily stuttered, striving to understand how something so beautiful could be so concealed.

The lake itself wasn't all that grand. It was quite small, actually, and 'pond' would likely be a more appropriate nomenclature for the water body. But the environment was—for lack of more ironic word choice—magical.

The Black Lake had its own personality, of course. It was the setting for almost every Hogwarts ghost story—both in the literal and figurative sense (meaning those told by older students to spook the first-years and those told by…the actual ghosts). Merpeople and Grindylows were said to make residence in the lake, not to mention Lily's personal friend, the Giant Squid.

But _this_ could hardly be called mysterious or dangerous. It was almost…charming. The far end of the shore was dotted with a garden of sorts, colorful and aesthetically appealing; obviously well-cared for by someone. The water was glassy and still, looking more like an ice-skating rink, than a lake. The entire area was concealed and coved by deep forestation. The hill which Sirius and Lily currently stood on, created a wall-like structure to hide the oasis on one side.

"This is incredible."

Sirius smiled, stepping forward and slowly moving down the small crag. "Just wait."

Lily followed him, eyes wide in wonder. How long had Hogwarts been hiding this?

Eventually, the cliff dropped off a few feet. Sirius jumped down, expertly, revealing that this was not his first time to visit the lake. He held a hand out to assist her over the drop and she landed, gracelessly yet safely.

"Follow me, but stay quiet." he commanded.

They stayed several meters away from the lake's edge as they skirted it, coming to an open patch of grass. Sirius sat, which Lily took as a cue to do the same.

"Why are we be—"

"Shh. Just wait." he whispered, eyes not leaving the lake.

Before Lily could muster an impatient retort, she saw them. Walking confidently toward the edge of the lake were two magical creatures that Lily had only ever read about. Their majestic horse-like bodies were clashed by the bird-esque head and wings.

"Hippogriffs," she murmured in wonder.

Sirius grinned. "That one there," he whispered, pointing to the larger one, "is Turkducken," Lily stifled a giggle, "and the little one is her baby, Buckbeak."

"Turducken and Buckbeak," Lily said, mystified. "Do they…live here?"

He nodded. "You met Hagrid?"

"The gamekeeper?"

"Mhm. He talked Dumbledore into allowing Turducken to stay here when he found her, injured, somewhere in Northern Ireland. She turned out to be pregnant and he's taken care of them for the past year."

"I can't believe Hogwarts has hippogriffs."

"Best kept secret."

Baby Buckbeak stumbled a bit as he leaned toward the lake to take a drink, splashing his head fully into the water. He emerged in a state of obvious distress, shaking his feather head in aggravation. Lily smiled.

"How did you find this place?"

"Hagrid brought me here, actually. Second year. Although the hippogriffs are a new addition, of course."

"The other boys, too? You all come here often?"

"No," Sirius shook his head quickly. "No, this one's all mine." He pulled a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers. "Always had a soft spot for Hagrid that the lads didn't quite understand. I used to visit him a lot, especially during first and second year. He's an oddball, but a hell of a bloke, really. I'm not really sure why, but I never managed to tell the other guys about this place. Guess it always just felt like…mine."

Lily studied the face of the handsome wizard next to her. His eyes never left the hippogriffs, but she could tell that his mind was not at the lake at all. Not for the first time, Lily's heart twisted in compassion for the shaggy-haired boy she had somehow secured as a friend.

"Why'd you bring me here, then?" she asked, boldly.

"Huh?" he looked over at her, shaken.

"Why'd you bring me out here when you haven't even shown your best mates?"

" _Ex-_ best mates," he pointed out with an eye roll and a finger gesture, before shrugging noncommittally. "You looked pitiful all alone in the common room on a day like today, so I just decided to make you less miserable."

" _Sirius._ " Lily fixed him with a glare that clearly said _the real answer, please._

"I don't know. It's just…different."

"Different," Lily tried out the word, eyebrows furrowed. "That's what Potter said…"

"Said what?"

"Earlier, we were talking about something and he said I was 'different.'" She looked at him, intensely. "What does that even mean?"

"Well," Sirius began, pulling at another blade of grass. "I would be willing to bet that it means something very different to dear ol' Prongsie than it does to me."

"And what does _that_ mean?"

"It means that _I'm_ not in love with you, as tragic as news that may be, Ginge."

She snorted, unattractively. " _In love."_

"Oink at me all you want. I'm not as stupid as the professors at this school would like for you to believe."

"I've never thought you were stupid."

"See?" he grinned. "Different."

She leaned back into the grass with a content sigh, watching the hippogriffs continue to meander by the lake shore. "You're _different,_ too, y'know?"

"Oh yeah?" he hummed.

"Uh huh. This," she gestured toward the lake with her hands, "is nice. If I walked up to any given kid in that castle and told them you had a secret hiding place with a baby hippogriff, they would send me to Slughorn to check for potion ingestion." Her smile grew. "You're more human than you let on, Sirius Black."

"There's no need to insult me." he scoffed, dramatically, as he laid back on the grass, arms behind his head.

The two teens settled into a comfortable silence as Lily watched the mother and son hippogriff drink and meander by the water, while Sirius watched the clouds.

Days like today were few and between. With exams and school stress—not to mention the much larger issues of the war—Lily couldn't recall the last time she had been able to relax on the Hogwarts grounds unburdened. It was nice, sitting there in silence with Sirius.

But talking about important things with Sirius was nice, too, and Lily had never been one to sit in silence for long.

"When are you and Potter going to make up?"

He sighed at her blatant shift in conversation. " _Evans…_ "

"I think you should talk to him before summer starts up."

"Oh, you do?" he drawled, with a hint of amusement.

"I do," she nodded matter-of-factly, still staring out at the lake. "That way you can go back to the Potters' after school lets out and not worry about that dodgy flat you're always talking about."

"Hey! I happen to like my dodgy flat."

"You do know that walls aren't _supposed_ to be permanently moist, right?"

He tugged, playfully, on one of the red waves falling down her back. "Sod off."

"He yelled at me this morning." she said, offhandedly.

"James?" his voice revealed the lift of his eyebrows in surprise at the random comment.

"Yeah, I told Juniper he had Quidditch practice tomorrow night because…y'know. But he was pretty pissed."

"Did you kiss and make up?"

" _Ew_. " She fell back onto the ground next to him with a grunt. "Surprisingly, we…worked it out."

"Wow."

"I know." She turned her head to get a better look at him, squinting her eyes as the sun blinded past the sharp edges of his silhouetted face. "That's why you should talk to him."

"Because you two made it through an argument without killing each other?"

" _No_. Because I think he's…matured, or something." Her mouth immediately screwed up in distaste as the word fell out, surprising even herself with the claim.

He twisted his head toward her. " _Mature? That_ toerag?" His eyebrows shot back up. _"_ Merlin, you're in more trouble than I thought."

" _Sirius,_ " she nudged him with her arm. "Just…talk to him. I think he might be ready to listen."

"Listen, no offense or anything, Ginge, but just because you've had a couple late night _dueling club trysts_ , doesn't mean you know him like I do. James doesn't just…mature. It's gotta be on his terms."

Lily groaned, raising back up to a sitting position. "I'm just so tired of the hostility. You act like bloody children!"

"Well, until tomorrow night, Prongs technically still _is_ a child."

" _And,"_ she raised her voice to drown out his cheek, "I just think—"

"Lily. Drop it." his voice interrupted with a harshness Lily wasn't accustomed to hearing from the wizard. His eyes darkened with a blend of emotions that sent a short jolt of fear through Lily.

"Sorry," he sighed in frustration, though with himself or Lily, she couldn't tell. "I'm not…you're not…" he chuckled, darkly. "The past few months have been shite. Doesn't mean I get to make you my punching bag."

Lily stayed quiet, chewing on her lip, unable to meet his gaze.

"Let's talk about something else," he offered, pulling her by the arm back to the grass.

"Okay," she said, apprehensively, situating herself next to him. "Like what?"

"I don't know, like…," his eye shifted around in search of a conversation piece. His head turned toward her with a crooked grin. "Merlin, how 'bout this weather!"

Lily couldn't help but crack a smile. "How very British of you."


	18. Chapter 18

***Disclaimer: JKR owns everything. Literally everything.**

…

There was something unsettling and admittedly _lame_ about waking up to an alarm on your birthday when you're accustomed to being jump attacked at 4:32am (the precise time of your birth) with a cupcake and an inappropriate rendition of the birthday song.

Before Hogwarts, James' parents had made quite the deal out of his birthday. As an only child-and a highly anticipated one at that-his birthday held a certain air of importance that easily rivaled Christmas. It wasn't until his first year at Hogwarts that he even began to gain the social awareness and understanding that a party with a hundred people was _not_ the norm for eleven-year-olds.

Unfortunately for James Potter, his birthday happened to fall a few months _after_ a certain Sirius Black's and his mistake was not allowed to be glossed over. When James attempted to throw a dragon-themed birthday party for twelve-year-old Sirius involving not only all of Gryffindor, but the entirety of Hogwarts (a choice few professors included), the mickey was taken, balled up, and thrown off the Astronomy Tower in a colourful display for the entire Wizarding World to enjoy.

No one does _dramatic_ like Sirius Black and the fact that someone (poor _poor_ James) had tried to compete with him...on his _own_ birthday...provided the perfect opportunity for torture. For the rest of forever.

Since James' failed attempt at creating hooplah for Sirius in first-year, the older boy (" _I don't care if it's four months. Respect your elders, Prongs!_ ") had taken pleasure in finding new creative ways to humiliate James on his own birthday every year. And it _always_ started with a wake-up call that bordered on the lines of assault.

As James Potter fumbled for the vibrating clock on his bedside table, he groaned. He was practically useless without his glasses and the shrouding darkness of the room made it impossible to find the clock. It had to be before sunrise and he sure as _hell_ didn't set an alarm for this early, no matter what time it was.

"Prongs!" Remus's frustrated and groggy drone from across the room sounded. "Turn it off!"

"I'm trying," James hissed back, perplexed by his inability to locate the clock. "I can't…find it."

"It's on your table!" Peter cried from his own bed.

"You think I didn't check there?! It's not… _there!_ " He groaned again as he swung his legs over the bed, changing tactics to grab his glasses.

"I swear to Merlin, James…" Remus mumbled as he clumsily slid out of his own bed, whispering a quick _lumos_ to aid in the search. He held his wand out toward James's bedside table and immediately scrunched his eyes. "Well, where the hell did you put it last night?"

"I didn't even set an alarm!"

"Well, _obviously_ you did…"

"Moony. You think I would set a before sunrise wake-up-call on my birthday?"

"Oh, shite, mate." Remus winced, pitifully. "I'm sorry…happy birthday…."

"It's fine," James shrugged his friend's guilt off. "Let's just find the clock. I can't even tell where it's coming from…"

"Turn it off!" Peter whined.

"Shut up!" Remus and James shouted back, simultaneously.

James dropped to the ground to look under his bed as Remus started rummaging through James' trunk.

"Merlin, it's getting _louder,_ " Remus moaned. "How is that even possible?"

"It's coming out of the _walls!_ It sounds like a…wait."

Remus looked over at him, eyes wide. " _No._ "

Both boys jumped to their feet and approached the drawn-curtains of Sirius' bed. They shot a look at each other before ripping back the curtains to reveal an empty bed sans one infamous alarm clock.

James lunged for it as it wildly jittered in his hand. "Is it an amplifying charm?" he screamed to be heard over the now ear-bursting ring.

"I don't know! Maybe Sonorous?"

"What's the counter-spell?!"

"Hell if I know!" Remus bellowed, hands pushing onto his ears in an attempt to save his hearing.

James groaned in frustration and threw the clock back on the bed. Withdrawing his own wand, he shouted, " _Confringo!"_

The clock gave one last pitiful whistle before the insides of it seemed to burst causing the entire mechanism to combust.

"Finally," Peter lamented into the pillow held over his face.

Remus picked up the destroyed clock, carefully, and held it up close to his face. His eyebrows disappeared into his bedhead-affected hair as he held the clock out to James. "Mate, look."

James' face screwed up in confusion as he squinted to read the face of the small clock.

 _4:32._

…

James was in a mood, that was for sure. Lily couldn't really tell if it was necessarily a _bad_ one…but something was off.

She cast quick glances down the length of the table at breakfast as she considered whether or not she should wish him a happy birthday. It's not as if should have been that difficult of a decision. Friends wish other friends happy birthday and she and James were…friends?

The internal debate was frustrating and made her feel uncomfortable as she poked around her oatmeal. Mary, Anna, and McCall had taken full advantage of the Sunday morning and slept in so it was just Marlene sitting with her.

Finally, she decided that giving so much thought to a simple decision was providing it with way too much weight and, in a moment of impulse, she got up from the bench and walked down the table.

She marched to where James and Remus sat (Peter was undoubtedly still asleep), moodily eating their breakfast.

"Potter," Lily spoke up, causing the wizard's head to shoot up from his bowl of oatmeal.

"Er…" he cleared his throat and immediately reached for his hair with his non-spoon hand.

"Good morning, Lily," Remus said with a pointed eyeball at James.

"Morning," James managed.

"Happy birthday." she said, quickly, the words falling out of her mouth as if holding them in was detrimental to her own health.

Immediately, his eyes widened and his mouth went agape. "Happy…birthday…?"

 _Oh God._

"It… _is_ your birthday…right?" Lily pressed, nervously, wanting to crawl into a hole if she was somehow wrong about this.

"What? Oh! Yes, it is!" His head shook frantically and his fork clattered to the floor as he dropped it in a flailing motion.

"Oh." Lily amended, chewing on her lip. "Well, happy birthday."

James looked at her through squinted eyes. "Thank you?"

"Merlin," Remus groaned, pushing away from the table as he looked distastefully between the rigid James and hovering Lily. "I'm going to wake up Peter."

James and Lily watched him leave, silently.

"Well," Lily began, awkwardly, "I just wanted to tell you that, so I…I'm going to finish my breakfast now."

"You can…er," he cleared his throat again, before noticeably struggling to drop his voice to its normal octave, "you can sit here if you want." He glanced down the table. "Since MacDonald and Brodeur aren't here, y'know." he added, quickly.

"Oh. Well…I'm sitting with Marlene, actually, so…"

"Okay, yeah. Good, good!"

Lily's mouth twitched apologetically. "I'll…see you around?"

He forced a smile. "Yeah, definitely. Thanks. For the…birthday wishes."

She smiled in reply and walked back to her seat.

"What was that about?" Marlene asked, not looking up from her copy of _The Daily Prophet_.

"Its Potter's birthday." Lily supplied.

"Hmm," Marlene mused, flipping the page. "How's the world to know when Sirius isn't around to blow up half the Great Hall with fireworks?"

Lily frowned as her thoughts shifted toward the ongoing feud between the two boys. It _really_ shouldn't bother her as much as it did.

…

"Good _morning!"_ Juniper sang as she swooped into the boys' dorm an hour later.

"Morning, June," Remus smiled pleasantly from his seat at the desk.

"Where's the birthday boy?" she chirped, readjusting her electric blue headband to sit firmly in her black waves.

"Someone say my name?" James grinned as he walked out of the loo.

" _James!_ " she squealed as she tackled him with a hug. "Happy birthday!"

He laughed as he peeled her off of him. "Thanks, Junie," he managed through his chuckles. "What'd you get me?"

"What did I _get_ you? What do you mean what did I _get_ you?" she squawked in an attempt at an outraged tone. "Isn't my unwavering love and affection enough?"

James grinned, rolling his jumper sleeves. "Will you break up with me if I say no?"

"Here ya go, tosser," she sighed, throwing him a small shoddily-wrapped package.

"You're the best girlfriend in the world, do you know that?" he planted a kiss on her cheek before he moved over to his bed to sit and unwrap the gift. He held the pathetic box up in front of his face for a moment with a puzzled and amused expression. "Couldn't at least get Aloe to wrap it for you?"

"You _prat_!" she laughed as she smacked his shoulder, playfully.

"Alright, alright!" he smiled, holding his hands up in surrender, before beginning to disassemble the awkward wrapping. "Oh, nice!" He proudly held up a small mirror. "This is great, thank you!"

She looked at him through bemused, narrowed eyes. "Do you know what it is?"

"Er…a mirror?" he asked, sheepishly, scratching at his neck. The milkiness of his caramel eyes suddenly lightened as realization dawned. "Is this a metaphor?"

"A what?"

"A metaphor! Y'know, because I'm so roguishly handsome and should want to look at myself all the time."

"Like you need a mirror to inflate your ego," she scoffed. "Its a two-way mirror! See, I have the other one." She dug in the back pocket of her jeans. "I just say your name, for example… _James…_ and voila! My face appears!"

Sure enough, June's beaming grin materialized onto the small mirror.

"Whoa!" he shouted in excitement, eyes widening in unabashed giddiness. "June! Where in Merlin's name did you get these? They're...they're incredible!"

She beamed. "My uncle used to make them. This is the last working pair he made before he passed away." She redirected her eyes back to her boyfriend, chewing at her lip. "So you really like them?"

"Are you kidding me?" He set the mirror down, twisting his torso to grab her hands. "They're amazing. _You're_ amazing!" He closed the gap between them, pulling her into a kiss.

Remus—always made uncomfortable by PDA—cleared his throat from across the room. James pulled away with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, Moony. Do your homework."

The werewolf didn't reply, choosing to bury his head deeper into his textbook.

James turned back to June. "Thank you. Seriously."

The brunette witch smiled, green eyes shining. "So what's the agenda for today?"

"Agenda?"

"Well, I know you have Quidditch late tonight. And I want you to pay special consideration to the fact that I'm even showing my face at that practice after the humiliation their prick of a captain paid me at the beginning of the season, thank you very much," she grinned teasingly at James.

"Oh, hell," he groaned. "Let _up_ on that, will ya?"

"Not until you admit your horrible mistake, James Potter. I am a _damn_ good seeker and I want you to remember that every time Mickey Turpine misses the snitch."

"You're going to be the death of me, woman."

"Er—James?" Remus's voice sounded small and hollow from the other side of the room.

James looked over to see him swiveling around in the desk chair. "What's up?"

"You have…Quidditch practice tonight?" Icy blue eyes were wide with a pointed insinuation.

"Shit."

"Shit?" June and Remus echoed, the former with confusion and the latter with fear.

"Not shit. Er—yes. I do." he amended, sloppily.

"Okay," Remus said slowly. "What time?"

"Not super late." James assured the werewolf.

" _Not_ super late? I thought the whole idea of a moonlight practice was for it to be late. I consider nine o'clock to be pretty late for a _Quidditch practice_."

"Right." James said nervously. "Nine o'clock."

"That's the time you told me anyway. I thought it was barmy when you mentioned it, but you're captain so if you think it's necessary to do a late practice for 'visibility,' that's _your_ prerogative."

"Nine o'clock?" Remus questioned through gritted teeth. "It had to be _tonight?_ "

"That's what I said! It's his _birthday_ for Merlin's sake!"

"Okay!" James said cheerfully hopping from the bed. "June, fancy a walk? Moony, I'll…talk to you later, yeah?" he said pointedly, hoping to Merlin his mate would catch the emphasis.

…

"I heard something interesting today."

Sirius looked up from his book, cocking a disinterested eyebrow.

"Do you want to know what it was?"

"Oh, I'm about to absolutely piss myself with anticipation," he drawled, dryly, licking his finger and turning a page.

Lily plopped down onto the couch, crossing her legs as she turned to face the dark-haired wizard. "Don't pretend to be in a rotten mood. I know your game."

"Its not a rotten mood, Evans. Its a perpetual state of _being_."

"Codswallop." She jerked his book from his grasp.

" _Hey-_ "

"What is this anyway?" She scrunched her nose as she read the title. "Milton? Really?"

"Its a Muggle classic!"

"Its a Muggle over-rated piece of American rubbish."

"Give it back. I don't take your Dickens."

"You _have_ taken my Dickens. At least five times."

"Okay, well, I haven't taken your Dickens when you're in a rotten mood."

"I thought it was a _perpetual state of being._ "

He lunged for the book and came up victorious. "Don't you have anything better to do this Sunday afternoon? Homework to revise, prefect duties to tend to, puppies to drown?"

"I've never been very taken with dogs, if we're being honest. Quite smelly. And the _fleas_."

" _Dogs are not-"_ He stopped his indignant cry when he noticed her stifled giggles. The barmy witch was _laughing_. "You said that on purpose." he groaned.

"Evans, one. Black, zero."

The truth was, Lily had a great deal of things she could have been-should have been, even-doing with her free time. Mary and Anna were revising in the library and had extended many invitations ( _"please, Lil, we need a reliable source to cheat off of!_ "). Her beloved _Great Expectations_ was sitting primly in her trunk waiting to be taken advantage of. Even her bed was a plausible-and pleasant-option.

When it came down to it, though, Lily Evans found that she _wanted_ to talk to Sirius. It was a scary revelation, but not one she was willing to throw a fit over. As strange as it was, Sirius Black was her _mate_ , and she had every intention to indulge that.

And _hey,_ if it provided the opportunity for a little meddling, well...that's neither here, nor there.

"What was your interesting news?" he sighed in despair, dog-earing his page and setting it to the side.

"I'm so glad you asked!" Lily said, jubilantly. She leaned in close. " _I heard_ that someone pranked James this morning."

Sirius' lip twitched. "His limbs were in tack at lunch, so it doesn't seem like they did a good job." he said, an air of forced casualness stitched into his words.

"Interesting observation," Lily said, not at all sounding as if she cared a wit about his statement. "You see, I was over here thinking you may know a thing or two about this infamous birthday bandit."

"Sounds a bit mad," Sirius reached for his book again, but Lily was too quick, ripping it away from him.

"Why'd you do it?"

"I didn't-"

"Sirius."

"No. I'm not talking about this." He crossed his arms over his chest to reinforce his attempt at defiance.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're ridiculous. What kind of exiled enemy plants a birthday prank for the boy who won't look at him without convulsing?"

He remained silent, scowl in place.

"I don't get it." she confessed, miserably. "He treats you like shit on the bottom of his shoe, and you turn around and rig his clock! With what...three amplifying charms?"

"Seven," Sirius said, begrudgingly.

" _Seven_!" She threw her hands up. "It makes no sense. Why waste the effort? Why waste the _clock_?"

"I always pull a birthday prank on him," he said quietly.

"But you're not even _speaking_ to each other."

"Still-"

"Talk to him."

"Oh Merlin, _this_ again?"

"Yes, _this_ again! You pranked him! _Pranked him_! In Marauder code, that's equal to...what? A snog session? You obviously want to forgive him! I _know_ he wants to-"

 _"_ Evans." He rubbed at his temples.

"I know, I know. My 'fixing-people' complex. Well, I can't bloody well help it, okay?! It kills me to see you two so-"

"Why do you care?" he said suddenly.

"What?"

"Why do you _care_ , Evans? It doesn't impact you whatsoever. In fact, us being apart makes your precious prefect life a hell of a lot easier."

She frowned. "Talk to him."

"Why do you care?" he repeated.

"Because you're...he's..." she huffed in frustration, raking a hand through the messy ends of her hair. "I'm going to the library."

…

"So…"

" _So_ …?"

James took a breath, garnering courage. "About tonight."

He had been dreading this conversation since the day before. Lily had lied about the Quidditch practice. Yes, it put him in a tight spot, but, ultimately, it was all for Remus and he couldn't afford to waste time being upset over that.

That still left the issue of him escaping Juniper's insistence of "quality time," though, and it wasn't an interaction he was looking forward to.

Juniper quirked an eyebrow, speaking slowly. "What about tonight?"

"You can't come to the practice."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why not?"

"It's a closed practice."

Good thing he had a lot of practice lying to Filch.

"I'm your girlfriend…"

Somehow, Filch hadn't _quite_ prepared him for this.

"I _know_ , but with the Ravenclaw game next weekend, we've managed to secure the pitch and it's just easier to put a ban on any spectators so we don't have to sort through Ravenclaw spies."

"I'm your _girlfriend_ ," she repeated in irritation. "I'm not going to sell your secrets to _Ravenclaw!"_

 _"I know that_ , but as the captain, I have to lead by example and if I let you come, then other people will want to bring their boyfriends and girlfriends, and it just gets complicated."

She frowned, obviously hurt by his defense. "Okay."

 _Okay_. Well that wasn't too bad, was it? She hadn't hit him, which is what he'd been expecting, in all fairness.

He grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, June. I just have to be consistent…"

She pulled her hand out of his grasp.

So maybe not so _okay._

"I get it." she said quietly.

"But we have the whole afternoon together!" he attempted to inject some semblance of cheer into his voice. "Practice isn't until way later."

She didn't respond.

"C'mon, we can sneak down to Hogsmeade for a bit? Or go to the kitchens? If you want to take it easy, we can go back to my room? Or the Astronomy Tower?" He knew he was rambling at this point, but he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. "What do you think?"

"I want to go back to the castle."

"Okay, great! Remus was headed to the library and Peter has tutoring all afternoon, so we can hang out in my room and—"

"No, James. I want to go back to the castle _alone_."

His face fell. "Oh."

They walked in silence for a few moments.

"Just checking because I want to make sure we're on the same page here, but…you're upset, right?"

She looked at him with an expression of contempt.

"Right," he said, quickly, hand finding its way to his hair. "And it's because of the Quidditch practice?"

Juniper stopped walking.

"No, James, it's not because of the _Quidditch practice._ Yes, I'm bummed I don't get to spend more time with you on your birthday, but I'm not a bitch—I understand you can't drop everything for me. I'm _upset_ because it doesn't seem to bother you a bit."

"What? It _does_ —"

"You said we were going to _be better!_ But nothing has changed. You've made no efforts!"

"What is this then?" he gestured vaguely between them. "We're spending time together, aren't we?"

"We're walking around the _castle_ , James," she rolled her eyes, resuming her walk toward the front entrance.

"Well, what do you want me to do? Construct a carnival for you?! We go to _boarding_ _school_ , June. There aren't exactly a plethora of _hot date_ options."

"I'm not asking for a hot date! I'm asking for effort! I'm asking you to try and _pretend_ like you care about this relationship as much as I do."

"I _do_ care!"

"Then _prove it_!"

"How?!"

" _Make time_ , James."

He threw his hands up in frustration. "I don't have a bloody time-turner! You want us to have more time together? Fine! Name a time. I'll arrange my bloody schedule to fit _you_."

Instead of seeing the sardonic bite of his words, she fired back. "Fine!" she shouted, turning back around toward him, arms tightly crossed across her chest. "Tonight! After Quidditch."

The fight left him as he went pale. "I—I can't tonight."

She growled in frustration. "Why the hell not?!"

"I just…I just _can't_!"

"Don't _lie_ to me, James! What do you have? Another _dueling club_?" she snarled, advancing on him.

His head reeled back. " _Dueling club_? Is that what this is about? You're pissed I bring Lily to Snowcroft's club instead of you?"

" _What_?"

"Is that what this is about?" he knew he was shouting at her but he couldn't find the energy to care. "This is all just a mask for your _jealousy_?! Oh, that's rich." He released a dark bark of laughter as he resumed stalking toward the castle.

She jogged to catch up to him, jerking his shoulder back towards her. "WHAT?" she screamed. "You think I'm _jealous_? God, you are so _thick!_ This doesn't have anything to do with Lily! I _know_ you're just friends!"

Something twitched in James' stomach at her choice of words.

"I brought up dueling club because it's just another meaningless time commitment!"

He sobered a bit at this. "It's not _meaningless_ , June." His hardened gaze penetrated the girl in front of him. "Not to me."

She met his fixed leer with matched intensity, green eyes dark and full. "Why?" she demanded. "Why is a bloody club so damn important? What do you possibly have to gain from that?"

He looked at her for another moment, taking in the strained features. "If you have to ask me that," he said quietly, "then this conversation is over."

…

"Professor?" Lily's voice sounded small as it bounced around the stone walls that made up McGonagall's office.

The Transfiguration professor looked up from the parchments she was reviewing, surprise evident on her face and in her voice. "Miss Evans. Come in, please."

Lily shifted, uncomfortably, before entering the room, fully. She approached McGonagall's desk timidly and hovered.

"The chair is far more practical if you _use it,_ Miss Evans."

Lily plopped down quickly, feeling heat in her cheeks.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your unexpected visit?"

"I…" Lily twisted her hands around in her lap. "I overheard some things in the hallway last week and I…" She raised her gaze to meet McGonagall's impatient one which only served to increase the sweating of her palms. "I wanted to report it to you, just in…just in case."

"In case _what_ , exactly?"

"In case…it meant something…bad?" she finished pitifully.

"Something _bad,"_ the elder witch echoed, a hint of amusement leaking into her tone. "Please do feel inclined to share."

"I was by the library earlier this week and I heard some boys…Mulciber, Rosier, and," _Snape, Snape, Snape_ , "and they were talking about Olive—er Olivia Magnus and—"

"That's enough, Miss Evans."

Lily's eyes widened. "But, Professor, they were—"

"I _said_ that is _enough_. Should a legitimate need arise, you know my door is open, but I will not idle away listening to juvenile claims of debauchery stemming from foolish house rivalries."

"I'm not trying to—"

"You would do well to mind your own business and keep out of trouble, Miss Evans. A Head Girl does not poke and prod like a character in a silly Muggle mystery novel."

 _Head Girl_. Lily had had hey eyes set on that position since fourth year and McGonagall _knew_ it. The woman knew right where to hit, that was for sure.

"I'm…" Lily quickly weighed her options and settled for, "sorry."

McGonagall fixed the younger witch with a look almost akin to affection, before straightening up. "If that is all, Miss Evans, I have some seventh year essays to revise, and—between us—they are not altogether different than the first year essays I spent my morning laboring over."

Lily pulled a strained smiled, rising from the wooden chair. "Best of luck, Professor."

"I do not need luck, Miss Evans. I _need_ more competent students. Have a good evening."

…

" _Evans_ ," a voice invaded Lily's sleep.

Well, that was annoying. It was the middle of the night and her roommates _knew_ better than to rouse her for any situation short of the castle burning down—and even then, they should first try to silently levitate her out without waking her.

So that meant this was a dream.

" _Evans!_ "

But that couldn't be right. Because there was no way in Merlin that the voice of James _bloody_ Potter was creeping into her dreams. No way.

" _Ev-aaaaaans!"_

And _yet_.

She gasped as a large hand clamped on her arm, ripping her forcefully from the purgatory between sleep and consciousness.

"Shh! It's just me! James!" the voice whisper-yelled, frantically. "I need your help. Quick. Please!"

She struggled to sit up, still determining whether this was just a weird dream, or an even weirder reality.

Lily squinted at the boy in the darkness. "Potter?"

His head was poking through the curtains, awkwardly, the rest of his body concealed on the other side. It was hard to make out details in the pitch dark of the room, but he definitely had some blood on his face and his hair was even giving its normal disarray a run for its money. And _god_ , he smelled.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, it's me. C'mon."

"Why are you blee—"

"I'll explain in a second, come on!"

A million arguments arranged themselves in her brain, prepared for rapid fire. Yet, somehow, within seconds, she found herself in a dressing robe racing down the girls' dorm stairs behind him.

…

"Oh my God."

"A little less freaking out, Evans," James grimaced as he paced behind her, hands nervously rubbing wringing together.

Peter's unconscious body was strewn across a table in the quiet Potions classroom. He wasn't wearing a shirt (which was admittedly not the substance of Lily's fantasies, but there were larger fish to fry at the moment) and he had a green gash in his shoulder that looked deep enough to warrant a trip to St. Mungo's.

"I'm sorry, I just…" she took a deep breath. " _God._ "

" _Evans_ ," he groaned.

"Okay, okay. Grab me the lemongrass, moonseed, and um…" she frantically scanned the page of the advanced Potions textbook she had hoisted on the table, "peppermint."

"Peppermint?"

" _Peppermint_ , Potter. NOW!"

"All right, I'm going!" he cried, rushing over to the small cabinet. "Is Peppermint in a vial or jar?"

"Jar. Should be top shelf. _Oh my God_." she gasped again as she gingerly picked up Peter's arm and got a full look at the extent of the cut.

"Evans!"

"Don't _Evans_ me! This is a lot of blood. He's not even _conscious_."

"Well, yeah, I knocked him out…"

"You _what_?"

"He was _crying_ for Merlin's sake! I just hit him with a quick stunner."

"Oh my God."

"Can you help him or not?"

She took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said slowly, but certainly. "I can help him. Grab that cauldron while you're over there."

"Here." he said, dispensing her requested ingredients on the table.

"Okay, I need you," she grabbed his arm, steering him toward Peter's limp body, "to hold this cloth here. Don't let up on the pressure until I'm done over there. Give me three minutes."

"You can make a potion in three minutes?"

She shot him with a glare. "In case you forgot, Potter…I'm _quite_ good."

He held up his hands in surrender, moving his hand to replace hers on Peter's shoulder as she hurried over to the small cauldron.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" she asked as she quickly dispensed the lemongrass and peppermint into the cauldron.

"Do I have another option here?"

"No."

"Yeah, I figured." he winced as the cloth began to slowly tinge red. "Things tonight got a bit…out of hand."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning…Remus was more aggressive than usual tonight. Peter got nervous and slipped out of form for a second."

"Oh my God."

"Evans! Enough with the exclamations!"

"I know! I'm sorry, but…Peter was a human in the same room as a fully-fledged werewolf?"

"Well, it wasn't exactly what we intended! He just got scared and lost focus. It happens every once in a while."

"Potter, that's really danger—"

"It's fine. He's fine. Remus just took a swipe at him, but I was able to get in between and—"

"Potter." she said, firmly. "You're way too casual about all of this! Peter could have been seriously hurt or even—"

"You don't understand the situation, Evans," he snapped before sighing and muttering a quick, "sorry."

Lily decided Peter's mangled arm a few meters away didn't provide an ideal environment for a fight, so she dropped it. Besides, the boys had obviously had a rough night and she wasn't heartless. She could cut him some slack.

"Is Remus…?"

"Safe. We sealed the Willow."

"So he's just…alone down there?"

"Look, Evans, could we not talk about this right now?" he sighed in frustration. "I think we need another cloth, too." He looked down, queasily, at the blood-soaked rag in his hands.

"No, I'm done. Here, switch me." Lily moved over to Peter's body, quickly. She _scourgified_ the cloth and dipped it into the cauldron of purple liquid. "This may sting," she whispered to unconscious Peter, pressing into the gash with the rag. A sizzle could be heard as the potion reacted with the flesh. The book said it was supposed to do this, but the unnaturalness of it still made Lily's stomach churn.

"Do you want me to…"

"No, I've got it." she said, quickly, dipping the rag back into the cauldron. After a couple more minutes of sizzling flesh, Lily sighed in relief, seeing only a faint scar on Peter's arm.

It had worked.

She used her wand to clean the cauldron and rag, replacing them to their homes in the supply closet before resting against the table.

"Thanks," James said, quietly, looking at his friend's still unconscious body on the table. "I'm sorry to freak you out with the wake-up, I just…I didn't know what else to do."

"It's fine."

"I didn't know who else to go to and I'm rubbish at Potions."

"It's fine, Potter," she insisted with a thin smile. "How did you get in my room?"

"Er…in second year, the lads and I figured out a way to 'trick the trick-step,' if you will."

"Second year?" she couldn't conceal how impressed she was by this news.

"Well, technically it was Remus."

"I do not believe that for one second."

"We bet him that he wouldn't steal Marlene's diary." he said, proudly.

"What did you bet him?"

"Huh?"

"What were the stakes? Why did he have to do it?"

"We told him he wouldn't do it…so he had to do it."

"I don't think you understand how a bet works."

He looked back at her as if she had just told him her parents were mountain trolls.

"Whatever," she said, a ghost of a smile flitting across her face at his ridiculous boyishness. "As long as you don't take any of my stuff, I guess I don't really care."

"Lily Evans is… _cool_ ," he hummed at the discovery.

" _Lily Evans_ is smart enough to know there's nothing she could do to stop your mischief, either way, so she may as well choose her battles."

He grinned.

"How hard was that stunner, anyway?" She nodded toward Peter's body.

James shifted, nervously, hand finding its way to his hair. "He should be coming to, pretty soon…I hope…"

"Potter," her voice dropped to a more somber tone as she turned to look at him, arms crossed against her chest. "I don't like all this. I know you don't want to hear it, but this stuff with Remus. It's…it's really dangerous."

"We've been doing it for two years, Evans."

"No, the _four_ of you have been doing it for two years. You need Sirius' help."

James's eyes darkened. "We don't need _shit_ from Sirius."

Lily sighed, unwilling to have the same argument with the other half of the problem. "I'm not going to pretend to understand the entire situation that transpired between you boys, but I get the gist. Black was…an idiot. He went too far. But he's your best friend."

"He was my _brother_ , Evans." he said, darkly. "That's precisely why it hurts so much."

Lily chewed on this. "Siblings can be…difficult." she said, carefully. "But you don't stop loving them."

James stayed silent.

"Even when they're absolute arseholes. You yell and you fight and you ignore, but then one day, you have to wake up and get over yourself, because a lot of things in this world are inconsistent and scary, but your sister…sibling…will be there to the end."

He watched her, closely, with an indistinguishable expression. "Had some experience in the 'tough sibling' department, eh, Evans?"

"You could say that," Lily said quietly, a twisted smile on her lips. "My older sis— _Potter._ " She motioned toward Peter's shifting body.

"Wormtail, mate?" James rushed over to his fallen friend. "Pete, you hear me?"

An unintelligible sound came from Peter's throat, but the all-encompassing grin that erupted on James' face made it clear that this was he was hoping for.

"Good Godric, Wormy, you scared me for a mo, mate," James grinned. "Thought we may have to enlist Davie's sod of a rodent to take over for you."

"Not on your life." Peter choked out, as he struggled to sit up. "Even dead, I'd be more useful than that sorry excuse for a rat."

"Right you are, mate." James laughed as he put his arm around Peter's back, helping him swing his legs down.

"Oh," Peter blinked, owlishly, as he took in the other body in the room. "Hullo, Lily."

"You've got Evans to thank for that arm! She fixed you up all pretty. Well…reckon you're still uglier than me, but still." He successfully righted Peter's feet on the ground. "Anything is an improvement for you, Pete."

"Thanks, Lily," Peter said, shyly.

"Not a problem at all," she replied with a warm smile. "Now, it's…" she turned to glimpse the clock on the wall, "Merlin, it's five in the morning?" She yawned on cue. "We have to get back to bed. We're breaking _so_ many rules."

"Ah, there she is," James said with a wistful sigh, leaning up off the table and helping Peter ease down.

"There _who_ is?"

"Prefect Evans." he replied, cheekily.

"Well, we _do_ come as a package deal, Potter."

…

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I've had a few reviews and messages about James and Sirius' reunion, so I thought I would take the opportunity to touch on this-it's coming! I know the dynamic of the two is missing from this story, but it WILL be there. Sirius is my absolute favourite character to write dialogue for (if that hasn't been obvious), so believe me when I say how pumped I am to bring him back with his brothers.**

(And to answer the review about my strange mix of word choice: you are correct! I live in Texas and have for several years so that is where the "y'all" comes in. I am originally from Oxford (UK), though, and most of my primary school was there so my English fundamentals are in British English. Normally, I pick one or the other when I'm writing papers for school and the like, but for this I decided to just alternate and do whatever feelsnatural in the moment. I apologise if my inconsistency stresses any of you out. Now you know what it's like to be in my brain, constantly switching between words, spellings, and accents.)

 **I have truly loved reading your thoughts and reviews! Keep them coming! You are all wonderful and lovely. Have an incredible week.**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Welp. Don't kill me! :)**

 ***Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the Wizarding World. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.**

...

There's a certain camaraderie that comes with _I'm the reason your best mate's left arm is still attached to his body_ and _you know that I'm an illegal Animagus and are being decidedly chill about it._ The shift in James and Lily's relationship was on full display at breakfast the next morning.

Peter wasn't there, as he was sleeping off the pain potion Lily had given him before splitting from the boys in the common room the night (morning?) before. Remus was incapacitated, obviously, sleeping soundly in the hospital wing.

This left a solo James walking into the Great Hall. It was honestly a miracle he had even made it to breakfast himself after the catastrophe of a night, but the thought of skipping a meal was even less appealing than operating on no sleep, so here he was. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit relieved to note Juniper's absence from the table. The argument was still fresh in his mind and he wasn't quite ready to hash that out in full. He also wasn't quite ready to compose a dramatic apology, which is what he resigned himself to eventually doing like any good boyfriend.

Eating alone wasn't a particularly humiliating thing, but James was a textbook extrovert and quite literally _craved_ human interaction at virtually every point in the day. Over the first five and a half years of his Hogwarts career, he had never needed to worry about this. Though Sirius utterly despised mornings, he'd go along with James on just about everything and so…James had not eaten a single meal alone.

The mature, rational part of James knew that the other students already seated at the four tables took no notice of his solidarity, but he couldn't help but feel a _walk of shame_ air as he trudged into the Great Hall, unflanked by a comrade.

"Potter!" a voice from the Ravenclaw table cajoled as he walked by. "How's this weekend looking? Sad for Gryffindor or downright depressing?" Ben Soares was turned around on his bench to address James with a good-natured smile.

"Hate to say it, Soares," James grinned, "but the only depression to be found this weekend will be among the blue and gold."

Ben laughed, his deep voice booming pleasantly. "Not from what I've heard."

"Why don't we let the quaffles do the talking, eh?"

He chuckled again. "Where's your entourage?" he asked, gesturing with his hands.

James felt a quick sting in his chest, but maintained cool composure. "Sleeping in, the lazy sods."

"Even Black? Merlin, he's gone soft with age."

He felt his lip twitch with sourness, involuntarily. "Even Black," he bit out through clenched teeth. "Listen, I've got a date with some bacon, so I'm going to scat, but I'll see you around?"

"See ya, Potter," Ben smiled before turning back around on his bench toward his Ravenclaw peers.

The pitiful part was just how true his statement was. The bacon really was the only thing he had to look forward to at the Gryffindor table. As he walked the length of the room toward his usual spot at the end of the table, he noticed Lily sitting with Mary and Marlene. She caught his glance and shot back a small smile, raising her hand in a tentative wave.

That was new.

He paused for a moment in his walk to the end of the table, one hand raising in return wave, while the other trailed its way to his unkempt hair. Marlene smiled her own greeting, but Mary didn't turn around from her seat on the bench.

The trio's seating arrangement caught his eye. After the past three months of being part of a trio himself, he knew, firsthand, the difficulties that meals could present. Which side do you sit on? Who has to sit alone? Does the loner sit in the middle or off to the side?

And while, yes, James _knew_ these were trivial problems…who was _he_ to deny the girls a simple solution?

"Morning, ladies," he said, easily, sliding onto the bench next to Mary.

She looked up in sharp disgust. "What are you doing here, arsehole?"

"She's always so sweet to me!" James replied, looking to Marlene and Lily instead, as he grabbed for a plate. "So how did everyone sleep?"

He couldn't help but find a bit of joy in the faint blush that trickled across Lily's cheeks.

"Well enough," Marlene replied, taking a sip of coffee.

"Hmph," Mary contributed, sourly.

James waited for a moment before fixing the red-head with a pointed smile. "And you, Evans?"

"Oh!" she cried with a forced smile. "I slept great. Wonderfully in fact. Best night sleep in ages!"

Mary's head shot up with a suspicious frown. "What's wrong with you?" she asked, bluntly.

"Wh—what?" Lily stuttered, the pink tinge growing.

"Why are you being weird?" Mary pressed.

"Weird? Who's being weird?" Lily stumbled before shooting a helpless glance at James.

"She's always weird," he supplied, quickly. "I don't know if there's necessarily a rhyme or reason to her various degrees of weirdness. Its just always kind of _there_."

Mary didn't look at all content with this answer, but she grunted and returned to her _Daily_ _Prophet_ while Lily mustered a grateful smile.

"Where are the boys?" Marlene asked, lightly, quickly adopting her usual role as mediator.

"Since when does a bloke have to be tied with a rope to his mates to enjoy breakfast?" Lily jumped in, quickly, with a definite bite to her accusation.

Marlene lifted her hands in wide-eyed surrender as Mary's head bobbed back up. "Since when do you serve as James Potter's mouthpiece?" she probed through narrowed eyes.

The blush returned in full force.

"I…I just—"

James picked up the slack. "She knows its a sensitive subject for me and was just being a mate."

"A sensitive subject?" Marlene questioned innocently.

"A _mate_?" Mary added accusingly.

James gulped, remembering his conversation with the tall ( _slightly scary_ ) girl from the beginning of the conversation very vividly.

"Yeah, Pot—James and I. We're…mates." Lily almost managed not to look like she was going to vomit, too, so a real victory that.

"You're weird. I'm leaving." Mary said, slowly, abruptly pushing her plate toward the center of the table and standing. "Marls? Fancy a trip to the tower? I have to grab my Potions essay before class."

Marlene hesitated, her eyes rapidly shooting between James and Lily, before nodding toward Mary. "Uh yeah. Okay." she said, awkwardly, swinging her legs over the bench. "See you in class?"

"Yeah, see you there," Lily pulled a tight-lipped smile. The Gryffindor girls walked away quickly, sending several last minute glances to the left-behind teenagers.

"Well…that was fun," James said brightly, grabbing for the pumpkin juice pitcher.

"Why do you have to do that?" Lily sighed, leaning back on the bench.

"Do what?"

"Come over here with your secrets and your awkwardness and make my best mates think I'm hiding something!"

"Well you _are_ hiding something…"

"Yes, _for you_." she hissed, eyes flying furiously down the length of the table. "So I'd appreciate if you don't give me reason to regret it. Do you have any idea the interrogation I'm going to be privy to tonight after that?"

His eyes flickered up from the plate he was loading to take in Lily's shrewd frown. "Sorry," he said, quietly, gaze returning to the bacon.

Lily studied his face intently for a moment, searching for something. "You apologise a lot." she finally settled on.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm wrong a lot."

She blinked. "Wow."

"What?"

"Nothing. That was just…" she chewed on the inside of her cheek for a second, choosing her words carefully, "real."

"Have you been under the illusion that I'm made of plastic, Evans?"

A small smile played at her lips. "You've always had a particular divination for bullshit, is all."

"Well," he said, reaching for the heaping plate in the center of the table, "the only thing I have a particular divination for at the moment is bacon, _Lily."_ He plopped several strips onto his plate before sending a smirk her way.

"Caught that, did you?" she sighed with a small smile.

"You said my first name and your tongue didn't even fall out!" he quipped happily.

"Magic."

"I'm glad you're finally catching onto this whole witchcraft and wizardry thing, Evans."

…

"I'm going to sit up front today. That all right?"

Lily looked up from her desk. "Oh, okay. Yeah, let me grab my things."

"No," Mary said, quickly, placing her hand on Lily's opened Transfiguration textbook, "I meant just me."

The red-head blinked in an attempt to push away the hurt expression she could feel surfacing on her face. "Oh…all right."

"Its nothing personal," Mary spewed, noting her friend's expression. "I just need to talk to someone."

"Who?" Lily's eyebrows furrowed.

"Meet me outside the door after class?"

"Who do—all right, yeah." Lily sighed in resignation as Mary bounced away.

She tapped her fingers on her desk, unsure of exactly what to do without her best mate's distraction. It wasn't exactly Hogwarts' best kept secret that Transfiguration posed some…difficulties…to Lily. She was apt enough in most of her classes, generally even in the running for top student, but Transfiguration just… _yeesh._

As Mary disappeared into a desk at the front, Lily's body snapped upright. The tall blonde witch was sliding into the seat by _James Potter_. What could she possibly have to discuss with _him?_ It was one thing for the girls to harass _her_ with questions later, but to subject Potter to the same interrogation was a low blow. Lily didn't like it one bit. She watched through narrow eyes as Mary threw a sickeningly sweet smile at James and he replied with a…well…a _jump_ would probably be the proper term for his response.

Granted, the desk hadn't been occupied all term. James and Sirius had occupied the front seats since first-year, but since their falling out, Sirius had moved to the far corner and James had maintained his spot in the center, with Remus and Petter sitting at the desks across the aisle.

Speaking of.

Lily watched as Sirius slunk into the classroom, sliding through the doors right as McGonagall closed them with a flick of her wand. He seemed in no hurry to get to his desk, much to the Transfiguration professor's chagrin.

"At your convenience, Mr. Black," she called dryly.

In a moment, Lily made a split decision. She threw her quill and parchment into her textbook and slammed it shut, sloppily gathering the materials and standing from her seat.

"Do you have a question, Miss Evans? It is customary to wait until the lesson has begun to pose such," McGonagall said, shooting Lily with a withered glare.

"I—I was just moving seats. There's a…draft," she offered lamely, frozen in place.

The older witch fixed the red-head with a look of suspicion before giving a curt nod. "Very well. Hurry along, we mustn't have you getting _cold_ in my classroom."

Lily nodded, hurriedly, shuffling across the room to the empty desk by Sirius. McGonagall watched the younger witch drop into the chair with a thinly raised eyebrow, but made no other comment, turning back to address the rest of the class.

"A draft, eh?" Sirius muttered out the side of his mouth, not looking at Lily.

"Hush, I panicked," she hissed.

"You didn't panic, Ginge, you _flopped_ ," he said, shooting her a quick grin. "If you wanted to cheat off my homework, you could've just asked. I don't have a stick up my arse or a little gold badge to stop _me_ from helping out humanity." He flicked the Prefect pin on her collar. "No need to orchestrate a game of musical chairs."

"You can keep your help for humanity." Lily grumbled with an eye roll. "Mary ditched me and I didn't want to sit alone."

"I noticed. Any reason she's seducing our favourite boy?"

"She's not _seducing_ him."

"Jealousy isn't becoming of you."

"Transfiguration is bad enough without you making me vomit on the desk, thank you."

"Miss Evans! Mr. Black! If you wish to remain in my classroom, you will find a way to _keep your mouths closed._ " McGonagall's sharp voice sliced through the room.

"Yes, Professor," Lily mumbled, sinking into her seat.

"Anything for you, Prof," Sirius grinned, sitting up straighter.

…

Mary's quick and curt conversation with him via passed parchment throughout Transfiguration had been anything but pleasant. He stopped responding after she had called him an arse for the fourth time and silently willed McGonagall to look his way.

Why was it that the woman watched him like a bloody hawk until the moment he actually needed saving?

The parchments continued to be pushed onto his desk with a variety of colorful anecdotes on his supposed prat-ness even after he refused to reply. There are only so many ways a bloke can say "leave me alone" and apparently infinitely more ways to say "you suck as a human, leave my friend alone."

It wasn't as if he didn't expect a reaction like this from Macdonald. She was protective over Lily in a way not unlike he was of his own mates. But Evans was a big girl and could make her own choices and he was sick of the snide looks from her best mate. Her warnings from the beginning of the term were very _remembered_. He just didn't find them very _necessary_ , anymore. They were proper friends now, he and Lily. He had finally managed to convince Lily that he wasn't a shite-human; why couldn't her mate get on board?

Part of James knew that Mary had a well-founded point. James Potter and Lily Evans were from completely different stock. Some people saw the difference in their blood as the defining delineation, but James knew the truth.

Lily was brilliant. James was a tosser.

He wasn't so stupid as to be under the delusion that he would ever match up to her wit or sheer wonder. That fact didn't mean he wouldn't spend the rest of his time at Hogwarts trying, though. He owed it to his past self—the James Potter that fancied Lily Evans to the point of compulsive obsessiveness. The James Potter that had leapt off a broom in second-year twenty-feet in the air to prove he "could." The James Potter that had used quasi-torture of her friend as leverage to get her to agree to go on a date. The James Potter that had hexed a couple Slytherins to have tentacles when he overheard them call her a Mudblood in the corridors.

The James Potter that was very much _chilled out_ and very much _over her._

...

Thursday night, Lily arrived at the lake at exactly 9 o'clock. Severus wasn't there yet, which surprised her. He had always appreciated promptness in the same manner as Lily. With a sharp sting, she was reminded of how much her childhood best friend had changed in the past year, and really ever since they arrived at Hogwarts.

She sat on the ground against the large tree by the lake shore. It was ironic how full circle they had come. It had been this very spot that had truly provided the last straw for the end of her friendship with the Slytherin, though it had been a long time coming even before then. That day after O.W.L.s had simply slapped her with the reality that Severus wasn't the same boy who taught her about magic at the small park in Cokeworth.

"Hey, mudblood. We thought you'd show up."

Lily's neck whipped around toward the raspy voice that did _not_ belong to Severus. She was immediately greeted by three figures quickly approaching in the darkness.

"Sorry your boyfriend couldn't make it, but he sent us to deliver a little message for you."

She stood up, quickly, wand already drawn in defense.

"Get the hell aw—" She was cut off as a burst of blue erupted from Evan Rosier's wand. She deflected it, easily enough, but was quickly met with another burst—this time from Avery.

"Put that wand away, mudblood. Your filthy hands don't deserve it." Rosier's chilling voice moved through the air. He flicked his wand again, emitting another blue light that Lily barely managed to block. The other two boys, Avery and Mulciber, were now directly in front of her, and immediately joined their peer in firing hex after hex at Lily.

The Gryffindor was known for her competence in dueling but three versus one was no easy feat and she began to struggle with her deflections. The rapidness of their own curses did not allow any time for offense and they continued to advance on her.

A stunning spell—she couldn't tell who it was from—caught her, knocking her backwards into the tree. She gasped through it, struggling to steady her wand, but in the split second of pain, both of the other boys managed to get a hit on her.

Lily crumpled to the ground, not quite unconscious, but unable to think of any useful magic through the searing pain racking through her body. Two more stunning spells hit her. Then another. And another.

She could feel herself shuddering in pain as one of the boys—Avery—stepped toward her.

"Easy there, Evans," he cooed, spitting her name as if it was detrimental to his health, "wouldn't want you to feel outmatched."

"Coward," she managed to hiss through her pain.

He yanked his arm forward and fisted his hand in her hair, violently ripping her head off the ground. "What was that, mudblood?"

" _Coward_ ," she produced more volume this time, daggers in her eyes to match the venom in her tone.

Avery dragged upward, pulling a yelp from her mouth as he used her hair as leverage to jerk her body from the ground.

"You really should watch your tongue, Evans," he spat. "It'd be a shame if something were to happen to it." He raised his wand with his free hand and shoved it at her cheek, no doubt intending to act some sort of cutting spell.

"Avery!" Rosier's voice barked from behind. "Stick to the plan," his voice dripped with established authority.

Avery scowled at the taller boy before turning his attention back to Lily, a sick smile twisting onto his face. "You like to swim?" He whipped around pulling her weight with him before he thrust her to the ground at Rosier and Mulciber's feet.

Mulciber reached down and wrestled Lily's wand out of her hand.

"Don't worry, slut," he sneered, "we won't be using our wands, either. Why waste magic on a mudblood bitch like you?"

He sent a jarring kick to her gut that caused her to roll over in agony. She wanted to wretch on his shoes but couldn't muster the energy.

"Pick her up," Rosier commanded. Mulciber complied, roughly grabbing the back of her shirt. A loud rip could be heard as the threads split from the pressure and her body fell back to the ground, now void of her shirt.

"Shite, Avery, move aside," Rosier barked, storming over to Lily's now limp body. She could see her wand shoved in his back pocket, but knew that there was no reasonable opportunity to snag it. He shoved a hand under her arms and another under her knees and hoisted her up, gruffly. She flailed her arms and legs in an attempt to try and roll out of his arms but his grip was vice-like.

"Too bad Severus isn't here to finally get a peek at her tits," Avery jeered from behind them. Rosier was walking, with no consideration for the way her body was bent in his arms or how her bones jostled with every one of his heavy steps.

Lily could feel the crisp night air hitting her exposed stomach, but couldn't muster the energy to care about her indecency as she battled the urge to black out. Dark spots pricked at her eyes and breathing was becoming more difficult.

"You're stupider than the other one," Rosier said, as he continued to walk. He slowed down for a moment and Lily heard a shallow splash of water. "You should have left Hogwarts while you had the chance." Another splash. Were they… _in the lake?_ "You don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere."

Abruptly, her body was dropped and her suspicions were confirmed. The icy water of the Black Lake shocked her system as her weight fell easily through the surface. Before she could grasp the situation, her heart began to race and her chest tightened as the cold fist of understanding squeezed the breath out of her. She kicked out, desperately, gulping in copious amounts of water in her fight back toward the surface.

Then, suddenly, she wasn't.

A crack was felt from her shoulder to her elbow as her right arm was yanked out of the water. The rest of her body followed heavily and as soon as her face hit the surface, she was sputtering and filling her lungs with needed oxygen again.

Rosier was standing in water almost up to his shoulders, gripping her now-broken arm carelessly. "Hope you were thirsty," his face split as a twisted grin erupted. "You see, Evans, the other night when you decided your pretty ears were privy to our conversation, you heard some things and I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page with that conversation staying in that corridor."

"Maybe," Lily managed through her coughing fit, "you should learn to whisper."

Then, her chest was on fire again as she was thrust back under water, this time with pressure being applied to her back. It was no longer a battle against the invasive waters; it was a battle against Evan Rosier's rage. The cold numbed and cramped her limbs, disabling any ability to fight against his heavy weight. Her body battled with her mind; she _knew_ she couldn't breathe, but her lungs _wanted_ it so bad. Then, just as she gave in to the instinct, she was ripped back from the darkness, spraying icy water out of her mouth, her nose, her eyes.

"Let's try again," the smile was gone, replaced by a dangerous glare. "You either agree to stay quiet…or I kill you."

Lily couldn't have spoke if she wanted to, her body waterlogged and exhausted. The Slytherin took her silence as an answer and dunked her again.

No matter how many times a person is held under water, the sensation of slow death never becomes more bearable. Lily struggled to hold her breath and barricade the water from invading her insides, but lost yet again. The blackness prickling at her eyes began to find victory as well. The frigid finger of realization began to poke through the fear.

He was going to kill her. She was going to die.

Another rush of reality shot through her as she was ripped from the lake yet again.

"Are you listening, mudblood?" he was yelling at full volume now. "I'll kill you!" his voice was manic, riddled with the intensity that only came with the simultaneous willingness to take a life and understanding of the possible consequences. He didn't want to kill Lily any more than she wanted to die, but neither of the teenagers was less stubborn than the other.

She should want her legs to kick out, but she didn't. She wanted to sleep. The ringing in her ears intensified and the black flecks in her eyes began to pulse reddish white. A giant fist was both pushing onto her chest and ripping it apart. The ringing turned to a thumping and she suddenly understood that she was hearing her own heartbeat. Was it supposed to be that slow? She could feel the blood pooling in her wrists as if there was a tourniquet encouraging her veins to explode. The iron claws previously scratching into her lungs anchored down and planted themselves, razors against her chest.

Seconds, hours, months passed, she didn't know and she didn't care, but the white bursts turned to solid black and the ringing turned to silence.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hopefully this speedy(ish) update makes up for what I did to our dear sweet Lily last chapter. A few of you have asked about James and Sirius and although an immediate panacea is not going to happen for our favourite troublemakers, I promise they are ON THE MEND. Which makes me really excited, but I want the gang back together just as much as all of you. I wrote a dialogue scene for the two of them post-make-up today and it got me really excited. My interpretation of Sirius' dryness and James' bluntness just create such a fun combo that I really have not gotten to explore yet so get pumped for that! Now, without further adieu...here ya go.**

…

It shouldn't bother him.

It _really_ shouldn't bother him.

Lily hadn't shown up to Snowcroft's dueling club and she didn't bother to tell him a reason beforehand.

But it shouldn't bother him.

Lily Evans hardly had an obligation to keep James up to date on her agenda. Perhaps she had Prefect duties, or tutoring. Maybe MacDonald had needed her help with something. She could have simply been feeling under the weather and decided to turn in early.

Whatever the reason, it didn't concern James and he would get over the hiccup of disappointment that had strangely made current residence in his chest.

As James frustratedly swung open the door to the dormitory, he was shocked to find that he wasn't alone.

" _What the—_ "

"Stop talking." Sirius said, hurriedly, jumping from his perch on the bed— _James' bed_. James opened his mouth to fire back but Sirius plowed on, gracelessly, his words falling out quickly and a little hoarser than was customary for the borderline-posh teenager. "I've been waiting for bloody ages. I looked through your trunk for the Map to see where you were but couldn't find it and I didn't know where to look so I just came here, but you've gotta hear me out, James. I mean it. I know I'm an idiot and you hate me and think I'm a traitor and there's nothing I can do to change that along with a bunch of other rubbish, but I need you to set that aside for a moment, all right?" He took a breath from his ramble, looking expectantly at his ex-mate. "You with me?"

James just blinked because what the _bloody hell was he supposed to do?_

Sirius nodded, before closing his eyes and jumping to the point. "Lily's hurt. Bad."

James paused, apprehensively, unsure of the meaning of Sirius's words. "What do you mean…hurt…bad?"

"I mean," Sirius emphasized, "that she was found unconscious by the lake."

James stood, rooted, to the rustic wood floor of the dorm. "Un…conscious?"

"It's not good, mate. She was attacked. Held under water for a really long time and she's got some broken bones and a nasty head injury."

Hazel eyes completely glassed over as he stared through his friend. "Lily?"

"She's being taken to St. Mungo's later tonight. In the meantime, its a closed ward and visitors aren't allowed. So, naturally, I'm about to go up there and sneak through." he paused, shifting awkwardly. "I know you still…well, I thought you might…er—do you…want to come?"

The bespectacled boy blinked again in an attempt to process. "Yes." he said, hollowly.

Sirius jumped up in obvious surprise. "Yeah? Okay, well…" he shook his head, quickly. "Let's go! Where's the cloak?"

"Okay," James said, still slightly dazed. "Okay." He stood still for another moment, looking about the room as if he only just realized he were here and was trying to remember exactly how to inhale and exhale oxygen. "Okay."

"Your cloak, mate," Sirius prodded him. "Grab the cloak and go."

"The cloak," James echoed, vaguely. Sirius briskly rummaged through James's trunk, expertly locating the shimmery cloth and tossing it to the other wizard. The experienced chaser caught it with ease, even in the midst of his stupor. Sirius walked near the teenager and squeezed his shoulder. "James, mate. Evans."

"Lily." Then, " _Lily._ " If the situation wasn't so somber, Sirius would have struggled to withhold a grin at the phenomena of watching James become _so very James._ He shook the cloak out to it's full breadth and held it out toward the boy across the room. "C'mon."

Sirius hesitated, staring at him with doubt. James rolled his eyes and gestured toward the cloak emphatically. "Oh, give me a break. I'll punch you later or something. Get under here. Let's go." Before he could change his mind, Sirius bounded over to James as the taller boy threw the magical material around them.

…

"There she is," Sirius pointed across the room, quite uselessly, as she was the only student in the hospital wing. The other two students who had been in the wing were immediately relocated upon Lily's entrance.

The redheaded witch was tucked into a corner bed, nearly unrecognizable. James dropped the cloak as he stepped toward her, the room falling away, as he became more nauseated with every step. There was a gash that ran from the corner of her eye to the crown of her head. It had been roughly patched up, but the blood still clung to the shafts of her hair, creating a variegated maroon appearance that made one's stomach churn.

Her arm was in a full cast while her left leg was elevated outside of the blanket in a sling that had been charmed to levitate. James could only imagine the amount of bruises and cuts he would find on the rest of her body if he pulled back the heavy hospital quilt, but he wasn't sure if he could stomach the sight of seeing the witch so broken.

Without any true purpose, his hand left his side and traced the green bruise sealing her eye shut. She didn't stir or flinch at all, so James allowed his other hand to rest on her shoulder. "Evans," he urged, gently pushing her shoulder and willing her green eyes to flutter open. He hungrily searched for the faint rise and fall of her chest. "Wake _up_ , Lily. C'mon." he said, his voice sounding choked and foreign.

"She's on a bunch of potions, mate." Sirius was behind him, talking softly. "Too much pain to be awake, Harding said. She's better off asleep."

"Who?"

Sirius didn't respond right away but he also didn't ask for clarity. He knew exactly what information James' question was seeking.

" _Who_ , Sirius." he repeated, unable to tear his eyes away from Lily's battered face.

"Mulciber. Avery. Rosier."

"How do you know?"

"Dumbledore. He...he was up here earlier. I sat in the hall, listening for an hour and a half. Couldn't manage to…stop listening." Sirius' voice had taken on the same choked nature.

James took a shaky breath. "They're dead. Those bastards. I'm going to kill them." he said, resolutely.

"Absolutely."

James looked at the other wizard. He had forgotten what it was like to have someone consistently confirming his irrationality and impulsiveness. Remus generally tried to talk him down and Peter tried his best to stay out of it. But Sirius had always been a 'yes man.' With a shudder, James remembered how that same impulsiveness had landed Sirius on the outs of the group in the first place. He quickly turned back to the witch, who, even in painful sleep, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

"They drowned her." Sirius said, darkly, suddenly, murderously. "Took turns holding her head under water for a couple minutes at a time." James wanted to vomit but Sirius kept going. "She fought 'em the whole time. They said she wasn't good enough to use magic on, so they…" He took a shaky breath. "So they tortured her without their wands. Broke her arm in two places as soon as they got her out in the water."

James choked on his own spit, gagging on the thought of Lily Evans being dragged into the water by those three monsters. He removed his hand from Lily's cheek as he noticed the way it began to shake in anger.

"Her leg snapped when she was twisting away from them."

"Sirius, stop." he choked out through the heat building in his throat.

"I saw her when they first brought her in. She…she didn't have a shirt on, James…"

James' body went rigid. The colour from his face visibly retreated as his head swiveled toward Sirius. "Did they…?" he whispered out before his voice broke.

Sirius swallowed bile that had risen in his throat. "I don't know."

"I'm going to kill them, Sirius," he repeated his earlier sentiment, leaving zero room for uncertainty. "I'm actually going to _kill them_."

"I know, mate."

…

The two boys sat in silence on either sides of Lily's bed for half an hour. Sirius checked the Map periodically to ensure Dumbledore and Pomfrey's respective places in their offices.

"So you're...you and-and Lily. You're what...friends?"

Sirius studied his former best mate's face. James didn't look away from Lily as his question cut through the silence, but it was obvious from his struggling tone that this has been bouncing around the boy's head for a while. "Yeah," Sirius replied, slowly. "Something like that."

James' head snapped up. "Something like that? What the hell does that mean?"

" _Mate_ ," Sirius said, through a sadistic bark of hushed laughter. "Slow down. You should know by now Lily Evans is _so_ not my type."

James frowned, obviously uncomfortable."I didn't mean...I…" He sat up straighter, his chin lifting a bit. "I have a girlfriend now."

Sirius settled into his own suspicious frown. "Yeah, I figured that one out for myself. Just because you choose to ignore my existence doesn't mean I can't hear the hushed girlish giggles coming from your bed at all hours of the night. Work on your silencing charms."

They had danced to the edge of _personal_ and both the boys felt the volatility that came along with it. It was strange that something so monumental as a serious relationship would have to be spoken aloud several months _after_ its development between two boys who had always been in tune to each other's first signs of attraction in the past. The situation felt heavy and cumbersome and neither teenager quite knew how to go about trying to pick it up off the ground.

"What's up with that anyway?" Sirius plowed across the line.

James' head finally turned toward Sirius. "What?"

"Allessio." he supplied, with no attempt at hiding his disgust. "Why are you even with her?"

James' anger flared. "I don't see how that's any of _your_ business."

"It's not." Sirius said lazily. "I'm just trying to understand why you're with her when you're obviously still in love with that one." He jabbed toward Lily's sleeping form.

James self-consciously dropped his hand from Lily's shoulder. "I was _never_ in l-"

"Yeah, yeah. Save it." Sirius waved off his defense. "I'm just thinking the shine's rubbing off on your trophy of a relationship and you may want to either put it in the trophy cabinet and close up shop, or find a way to shine it."

This was met with quiet contemplation. James didn't appreciate the wizard's critique of his lifestyle. But he also couldn't pretend to miss the truth laced through the boy's words. His relationship with Juniper had been struggling for a while now and Sirius was only confirming James' fears.

Lily had nothing to do with it, though. Sirius was _absolutely_ wrong about that. He was _over_ her. Had been for quite some time. They were _friends_ now.

And if a guy occasionally considered the idea of snogging the lights out of his friend, well…

That was completely normal.

"We should probably get back." Sirius eventually said. "They're…Dumbledore and Pomfrey and the lot…will be coming back soon. Organising a transfer to St. Mungo's for the morning."

"Go ahead, I'm going to stay for a bit."

"James," Sirius sighed. "You can't do anything for her right now. Besides, she's going to Mungo's where she'll—"

"I _said_ I'm going to stay."

"But Dumbledore—" Sirius pressed, true to his never-back-down character.

"Will not choose tonight to suddenly have the ability to see through an invisibility cloak." James cut the other wizard off, sharply. "I'll sneak out as soon as he gets here."

"Okay," Sirius said, a bit hesitantly. "If you're sure."

James' face softened a bit as he considered his own harshness. "I'm sure."

Sirius nodded, stretching his limbs as he rose from the lumpy chair. The popping of his various joints was the only sound that permeated the silence of the hospital wing. He tossed the Cloak to James and paused, hovering at the bespectacled boy's shoulder for a flicker of a moment.

"I—" The words died in his throat as James' tired eyes raised to meet his own grey ones. Sirius closed his mouth with a tight-lipped smile, instead, opting for a quick pat on the shoulder. The taller boy flinched from the contact, but eased back into the chair with a deep breath, turning his attention back to Lily's sleeping form.

"Padfoot?" he called quietly.

Sirius' form froze in the doorway at the sound of the familiar endearment.

"Can you…" James drew another heavy breath. "Don't tell her I was here."

The shaggy-haired boy paused, questioningly. "Why?"

"Just…" His hand fisted into his hair. "Just please don't."

"Alright."

"Thanks," he replied, softly.

Sirius turned to give a quick nod and quietly padded out of the room.

James redirected his attention to Lily. _Lily_. Brilliant, beautiful, _broken_ Lily.

Because she was _broken_.

His blood boiled and his hands itched to end the lives of the monsters who had done this. He knew things had gotten bad beyond the walls of the castle, but this had obviously been an attempt on Lily's life. It was a miracle she was alive at all. How _was_ she alive at all?

James didn't want to spend time dwelling the sickening logistics, but it was blazingly obvious that something had gone wrong. Drowning isn't a _threat_ , it's murder. If she went unconscious, how the hell did she escape? He found it difficult to believe that particular gang of Slytherins would wimp out last minute, especially paired with his suspicions that they had already been properly initiated into Voldemort's club of creeps.

Something didn't add up and James was determined to get to the bottom of it all.

…

The weather of the proceeding days seemed to mirror the attitude of Gryffindor house. Lily Evans had always been a vivacious presence among her peers and her absence was felt.

McGonagall had gathered all of the Gryffindors the morning after the incident to briefly explain that Lily would not be attending classes or fulfilling prefect duties for a while, so all questions should be redirected to Remus or one of the fifth or seventh year prefects. No details on Lily's situation were shared, other than her having an accident which led to her being sent to St. Mungo's for a few days.

James sat quietly through McGonagall's meeting with the rest of the house. Frankly, there were a few things he could think of doing to improve the situation other than _lend his thoughts to Miss Evans_ , but payback of this magnitude took a bit more premeditation.

Remus and Sirius flanked him on the long couch as they listened to the head of house. In the back of his mind, James knew he was being finicky with the Sirius business, but his one-track mind for revenge didn't allow him to shoo Sirius away. After they gave the Slytherins what they deserved, he would figure out how to handle Sirius. For now, though, he was needed.

"…and business within the castle will operate normally, of course. Are there any questions I can address in the present?"

Immediately, hands shot up and babbling voices shouted over each other.

"All right!" McGonagall struggled to be heard over the rowdy common room. "One at a time, please. Miss Brodeur." She nodded to Anna who was perched on a table top, looking fairly distraught.

"When will she be back?"

"That is unknown at the moment, but the healers are working diligently. She will return soon. Mr. Green." She gestured toward a second-year with his hand up, but a different voice spoke up before he could open his mouth.

"Is this _she will return soon_ like with Olivia?"

A new round of babbling began as all eyes redirected toward McCall Simmons. The scorn in her uncharacteristically challenging voice was undisguised and her dark sneer matched it.

"I thought she was mute," Sirius whispered to James.

"Miss Simmons," McGonagall struggled to maintain her composure but the outburst from the reclusive Gryffindor girl had obviously thrown her off-kilter. "That is another discussion entirely. One that, may I remind you, is under control."

"Because you _say so_?" McCall snapped back. "Obviously, the faculty doesn't have everything _under control_ if Lily's been attacked."

"We have no reason to believe the two incidents are at all related, Miss Simmons. And we have not confirmed that Miss Evans' injuries were obtained from an _attack_ —"

"Bullshit!"

This time it was Sirius who spoke up.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black?" McGonagall hissed, eyes peering over her glasses, murderously, though it was clear that her question was not intended to be open-ended.

The wizard stood from the couch, confidently. "I said _bullshit."_ He turned to address the rest of the room. "Lily Evans was absolutely attacked. I saw her in the hospital wing. So did James."

James stood up on cue, crossing his own arms as he glared at McGonagall. "That's right. She was…she was drowned." He took a deep breath, willing his voice not to break. "In the Black Lake. They broke her bones and busted her head, too."

Varying degrees of exclamation and gasping could be heard around the room.

"Who did it?" Mary Macdonald shouted, violently, from across the room.

McGonagall shook her head, vigorously, and jumped back into the fray. " _Enough!_ " she barked. "The details of Miss Evans' accident—"

"It wasn't an accident!" Sirius bellowed.

"—of Miss Evans' _incident_ are not to be broadcasted across the castle." Pushing her glasses back up her nose, she took a deep breath. "As it stands…Mr. Potter and Mr. Black are correct. Lily was…" another breath, "attacked." She held up her hand to stop the predicted chatter. "I assure you that the Headmaster and the faculty are completing a complete investigation into the issue and it _will_ be resolved. Now," she stood up straighter, "breakfast will only be served for another half hour. I suggest you stop gossiping about and get to it. Tardiness to your classes will not be acquiesced on behalf of your late start. Pip, pip."

The common room began to bustle again, as students discussed the announcements and hurried out to breakfast.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black." she called, stopping the two boys from their retreat. "A word, if you please."

The two teenagers looked at each other, regretfully, before trudging over to the Transfiguration professor.

"Your crude outbursts and volatile declarations are not acceptable in a place of learning, nor will they aid Miss Evans in her recovery." She narrowed her eyes. "I know you care for Lily, but let me make something _quite clear_ to both of you. You will not interfere in _any way_ with this investigation. If I hear so much as a whisper of you two—or Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew, for that matter—cooking up some plot to extract revenge on students in _this school_ , I will personally see that you are all expelled, immediately. Do I make myself clear?"

They murmured their begrudging agreement.

"I implore you to call bullshit on _that_ promise, Mr. Black." Without another word, she departed, her deep green cloak billowing behind her, as she disappeared through the portrait hole.

James and Sirius' eyes widened as they considered the professor's warning.

"What do you know, Black?"

The two boys turned to see Anna and Mary standing behind them, looking rather determined.

"McGonagall said—"

"Oh, don't give us that shite, Black. If you were going to choose a moment to give a rat's arse about what McGonagall says, you should have picked a moment before this one." Mary said, harshly.

James cleared his throat. "We don't know much. Some Slytherins were involved."

"Fifty galleons says it was Snape," Mary said.

"Not him." Sirius shook his head. "Rosier, Avery, and Mulciber."

"Scumbags."

"How do you know?" Anna pressed.

"Dumbledore. I…overheard, last night up at the hospital wing."

"How does _he_ know?"

"Not sure. Someone brought her in. After the attack. I don't know who, but someone was able to stop the fray and…get her up to the castle."

"She was rescued?" Anna scrunched her nose up in confusion.

Sirius scoffed, darkly. "I hardly think standing idly by and watching until she's at the point of death classifies someone as a _hero_."

"But…someone saw? Someone knows exactly what happened."

"Apparently."

"Did they say why?"

"We think," he cast a glance over at James who had been silent through the entire interaction, staring blankly toward the window in the corner, "this was retaliation…because she overheard them in the hall that night."

"Merlin," Mary said, closing her eyes in a wince. "We told her to tell Dumbledore! I _knew_ she wouldn't."

"Don't beat yourself up, Macdonald. You can't force Lily Evans to do something she doesn't want done." Sirius said.

"Isn't that the truth." Anna snorted, fondly.

"So what's the plan?" Mary prodded. Sirius looked hesitantly at James, but was not granted a response. "Oi, lover boy." She jabbed her elbow into his shoulder. "What's the plan?"

James blinked before quirking a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Oh, _c'mon_. You can't honestly expect us to stand by while you two get some Slytherin blood. We're her best friends. You're her…what? Respective charity case and unrequited lover?" Mary snapped.

James flinched, before his features hardened. "We don't need you two getting in the way."

"You should start talking unless you want me to go directly to McGonagall and share with her what you and I both know—that you don't give a shite about her warnings and you're going after those creeps," she challenged.

"Not so loud," Sirius groaned. " _Merlin_ , you're a bitch." Then, he turned to James. "Look, mate, what's it going to hurt if they know?"

The taller boy's mouth twitched for a moment and then stilled. He sighed in defeat. "Fine. But we should go somewhere less…populated."

…

"…steady and consistent. I'll be back in an hour to check back in."

Were people supposed to sound so hollow? Lily struggled to investigate the source of the voice, but found she was powerless against the heaviness of her eyelids. She tried once again to blink, but her eyes just switched against the blackness.

Oh God. _Was she blind?_

She could feel the small movement of her nose, scrunching up and down, with each blink attempt. That was good. Movement was good. It meant she was alive.

Finally, bright white began to seep through her vision, a welcomed invasion of brilliance. She blinked once, twice, three times. Control. It felt good.

The room was pristine clean and noticeably gloomy. All of her senses were immediately overwhelmed with what appeared to be a poorly decorated bedroom. But not her bedroom. Her bedroom was shared, with five other girls. At a school. A…castle?

Hogwarts.

"Ho-war," she tried, her lips feeling large and foreign as they moved.

"Lily?" _that_ voice was familiar. "Oh, my baby. Lily!"

"Mum?" her voice sounded like sandpaper; it didn't feel too different from that, either.

"Yes, sweetheart, it's me." Lily couldn't find the energy to turn her head, but she smelled her mum's vanilla shampoo as she apparently scooted her chair closer to Lily's bed. "Are you all right? Do you need something?"

"Water," she croaked.

"Sorry, dear, but the doctor er—healer…person…said no liquids yet. Your lungs…they're not quite ready."

"Lungs?"

Her mother grabbed her hand. "Do you know where you are?" She took Lily's silence for what it was. "Sweetheart, this is…St. Mungo's."

 _St. Mungo's._ But that was a hospital…for severe cases.

Oh.

 _Oh._

"Lake," Lily managed, shutting her eyes as images came racing back in rapid snapshots.

"Lake," Mrs. Evans confirmed, through a strained voice. "That was Thursday night. You were brought here Friday morning for…further treatment. I got here then, too. They wouldn't let me take you to a real hospital. Said this was your best…chance." Lily's mother had always been an emotional woman, and this situation was proving to be a true test of her stamina. She pulled a watery smile. "Guess they were right. Look at you…awake." Her hand moved to Lily's forehead, where she pushed back some red tendrils and let her fingers linger.

The witch was reminded of so many times her mother had adopted this same position over the years—when the loud boy in primary school called her ugly, when Petunia refused to invite Lily to her playdates, when Dad had gotten sick, and then when Dad had gotten sick _again_.

Christine Evans was the one person Lily didn't feel she had to be strong for.

"Professor Dumbledore will be by this afternoon to talk with you," she said, still smoothing her hands over Lily's forehead. "He was here for the first two days, but had to return to Hogwarts to check on things."

"Two days?" Lily managed to croak up, struggling to push up in the bed.

"Please, dear," Christine moved her hands to Lily's shoulders to hold her, firmly, in place. "The healers said it's best not to move."

"Two days," she repeated, closing her eyes in strain from the depleted energy the attempt had cost her.

"It's Monday morning, Lily," her mum said quietly.

Monday morning. But that meant—

 _Merlin_.

"You've been in and out of consciousness over the past few days and the doctors said it was normal after…well after what you've been through."

Lily managed a nod, feeling a sharp pain from the base of her neck down through her spine. She suddenly became aware of the various pains being emitted from different parts of her body.

"Head," she choked out.

"Hm?" Mrs. Evans murmured. "Oh, your head." She took a deep breath. "You sustained…a major concussion from blunt force trauma. You were hit with something on the back of your head so you've got a bit of a bump there, but the doc—healers managed to patch that all up pretty quick." She pulled a strained smile. "You had some other broken bones and such, but they managed to fix you up all nice and pretty."

Lily smiled, eyes still closed. "When can I…school?"

Christine hesitated, her hand pausing its soothing rhythm in Lily's hair. "That's…Professor Dumbledore will talk to you about all of that." Her hand resumed its ministrations. "Just get some rest for now."

…

It was nauseating how smoothly things at Hogwarts continued to move. Classes proceeded as usual, which meant other school programs were expected to, as well.

This seemed unrealistic and insulting to James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. When he cancelled the two practices immediately proceeding Lily's incident, no one said anything. After all, the loss of Lily (even though it was _temporary_ , James kept reminding himself) was felt throughout Gryffindor and few were in the mood for sport, anyway. When the notice was posted on the board for the third and fourth practice to be cancelled as well, complaints were groaned and aired all over the castle.

When the fifth practice was cancelled, James was summoned to McGonagall's office.

"Come in, Mr. Potter."

He sulked in, dropping to the chair, heavily. His hands immediately fumbled for the biscuit tin comfortably arranged on the Transfiguration professor's desk as they had done so many times. His eyebrows met in earnest frustration when he saw the empty contents.

"I haven't felt up to replacing them." McGonagall's murmured, in an uncharacteristically battered voice.

"Lily," James nodded in response, conveying his understanding and similar state.

"She's doing well, James."

His head popped up, eagerly.

A small smile twitched at the corners of her lips. "The Headmaster has been in and out of St. Mungo's over the past several days. He said she is recovering rapidly and with great strength."

"That's…good." he stuttered, not knowing what she expected of him.

"It's _very_ good." McGonagall confirmed. "Cancelling Quidditch indefinitely is not going to help Miss Evans heal any faster."

James frowned. "I know that. I'm not—"

"James. Please don't waste your lies on me. I know you're upset by this situation and that's alright. I would be bothered if you _weren't_. She's your classmate, housemate, and, dare I say...friend?"

He sighed, sinking a bit further into the familiar chair. The large cushion-less throne had played home to many a lecture and just as many a therapy session. Minerva McGonagall was not a woman of theatrics or sympathy, but she prided herself on her ability to understand and guide well. James had made his need for _guidance_ clear from first year and McGonagall found herself quite taken with the boy's charm and talent. What started as hours spent pouring over Quidditch strategy and Transfiguration extra credit, with the occasionally detention thrown in, of course, had created a healthy mentorship of mutual respect and appreciation.

James found that he could lean on McGonagall without getting the pity rubbish he would get from most adults. She was invested in his future—in all of her students' futures—and prioritised his well-being above mere academic performance.

"This war," he started, shifting even deeper into the chair. "It's not going to end itself, is it?"

McGonagall offered a thinly-veiled smile of sadness. "No, Mr. Potter, I'm afraid it is not."

He nodded, eyes cast toward his lap. His mouth twitched and he pulled at his tie, suffocating under the weight of this reality. _Growing up_ , Remus had called it.

"What are our chances?" he asked, finally, meeting McGonagall's eyes with new intensity.

"Our?"

"The good guys," he clarified.

Her lips curled again, as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "The good guys, I like that."

"Professor," he pushed.

"Not good," she said, quietly, shoulders dropping. "The Headmaster is recruiting…well—"

James leaned forward, a light flickering in his hazel eyes. "He's recruiting?"

McGonagall shook her head, sharply. "Absolutely not. You're sixteen. You are not _enlisting_ in this war."

"I'm _seventeen_ and I think that choice has already been made for me. I'm not _enlisting_ , Professor, I was practically drafted."

"You have a _choice_ in this, James."

"Like hell I do! You _know_ what they did to Lily. And it's not just her! They murder and torture and kidnap and…Professor, you can't _honestly_ expect me to sit back and watch the rest of you get some action on those bastards."

McGonagall took a deep breath and removed her glasses, setting them gingerly on her desk. Her fingernails rapped on the oak as she studied the boy sitting in front of her. She picked up her wand and swished it toward the door, turning back to James when the door shut and locked.

"The Order of the Phoenix is an organisation that has been established by the Headmaster to oppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," she began, leaning toward James. "I cannot disclose the identities of members right now, but I'm sure you can make educated guesses."

"You," James said, with a grin.

"I cannot disclose the identities of members," she repeated, with a quirked—yet satisfied—eyebrow.

"So badass."

"Now," she continued with a withering glare, "if and when you are approached by Professor Dumbledore to join, you must be understanding of the commitment. You will be placed in dangerous situations and asked to do—"

"Professor, if there's any confusion, I'm willing to die for this."

McGonagall swallowed and studied the wizard for a moment, an unreadable expression etched across her face. She blinked a couple times and took another breath, this one shakier than the previous. "Yes, I suppose you are." She squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to maintain composure before continuing. "The Order is underground and, at this point, not iffically identified by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, though we know he is suspicious."

"Does the Order have aurors?"

She frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"I want to be an auror," he said firmly.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. And yes, I suppose I can tell you that there are aurors in the Order."

James nodded before freezing. His hazel eyes grew in size and his head shot up. "Professor, are my parents—"

She picked her glasses up off the desk and set them on the end of her nose, staring over the thin rims. " _I cannot disclose the identities of members_ , Mr. Potter."

"Good Godric," he said, mystified.

"Joining the Order when you're _graduated and finished with your education_ seems far more productive than cancelling Quidditch in the meantime, hm?"

He sighed, rubbing at his eyes beneath his own glasses. "I'll tell the team we're back on for tomorrow…"

"Thank you." she said with a satisfied smile, as he lifted wearily out of his chair. His hand fisted through his hair as he heaved a deep breath.

"James, I should not even be discussing this with you." she added as he turned for the door. "This stays in this room. _No one_ can know. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

…

"Good evening, Miss Evans."

"Hello, Headmaster," Lily said, managing a smile as the older wizard dropped into a small chair by her bed.

"I am pleased to see you awake," he nodded toward her upright body, held up by several pillows stuffed behind her back.

"I'm just happy to be able to talk again."

"We tend to value things the most when we are bereft of them for a time."

"As a girl currently unable to use the loo by myself, I can confirm that statement."

Dumbledore smiled. "The Gryffindor first-years spent their Potions period making you cards." He pulled a stack of oddly-shaped and multicoloured paper from his satchel.

Lily took the cards, grinning graciously. "Tell Professor Slughorn thank you on my behalf."

The cards held a variety of awkward, yet genuine sentiments and well wishes toward Lily's recovery. She had no doubt in her mind that Slughorn, her favourite professor, had orchestrated the writing of them. A warmth erupted in her chest as she thought of the older wizard cancelling first-year classes in order to facilitate card-making for her. He was a regular softie and Lily made a mental note to not skip out on a Slug Club gathering for the rest of the year.

After a moment of silence as Lily sifted through the cards, Dumbledore leaned forward. "Miss Evans, I am regretfully here for a purpose beyond courier."

Lily looked up, swallowing, as she set the cards on the side table. "I figured as much." she nodded.

"Hogwarts has a no-tolerance policy for physical assault. Miss Evans, I must ask you to recount what you can from the evening by the lake."

Lily shifted in her bed as much as her injuries would allow her. "Professor, I don't think—"

"Please," he said, firmly but not unkindly. "Miss Evans, you and I both know that this was not merely a schoolyard disagreement. I believe that this act of aggression plays into a much bigger picture that you are unfortunately quite familiar with."

The redhead sat still, chewing on her lip, as she considered the headmaster's words.

While her memories of the night had been slightly foggy when she first woke up early this morning, over the past several hours of consciousness, she was able to mentally sort through the various events of the evening by the lake. There was no lack of clarity on what happened to her and who inflicted it. There had hardly been enough time for her to process the incident, however, so Dumbledore's request for her to verbally recount the attack was a heavy request.

"I received a note," she began, quietly. Dumbledore offered a small, encouraging smile and sat back in his chair, urging her to continue. "I found it in my bookbag after Potions. I…I don't know how it…how he got it there."

"He?" Dumbledore asked, softly.

Lily swallowed. "Severus," she said, feeling heat prick at her eyes.

The older wizard didn't respond to this, and if he had any particular thoughts on the subject, his neutral face did nothing to reveal them. He merely tilted his head in an inclination for her to continue talking.

"It said to meet him by the Black Lake at 9pm, Thursday. He said it was 'very important.' I thought he was…in trouble or…" She shook her head, sighing in frustration. "I thought he…I…"

"You thought he had changed his mind about his allegiance to Voldemort." Dumbledore offered, knowingly.

Lily's head snapped up. "I—you _know_?"

"Miss Evans, I am sensible enough to admit that there are likely a good deal of events that transpire at Hogwarts which I have no knowledge of. But Lord Voldemort's recruitment among students is something I am _quite_ aware of."

"Oh."

"You must know that your friend, Mr. Snape, has made his own choice. No one is forcing him to serve the Dark Arts." The glassy blue of his eyes flickered for a moment. "We cannot live our lives bearing the weight of our loved ones' poor choices, specifically…and perhaps most especially…when dark magic is at play." He sighed, his lips pursing into a thin line under his grey beard. "Miss Evans, Mr. Snape and his friends have unfortunately committed themselves to Voldemort's cause in a binding manner."

"What do you mean?" Her eyebrows drew together. "You don't think they're…"

"A ceremony was held in Hogsmeade in July."

"Professor Dum—"

"A select group of students were regretfully included in the initiation."

This news shouldn't have surprised Lily. She had known for months that Severus was practically a lost cause. And she'd moved on from that, really, she had. But knowing that a former friend has an interest in joining a radical dark organisation and hearing that he succeeded produce two very different emotions. She couldn't help the tears that bubbled from her eyes and leaked slowly down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry to be so harsh and straightforward, Lily, but I feel you should know the facts. You were not attacked by mere Hogwarts students by the lake. You were attacked by Death Eaters. And I believe they were instructed to kill you."

 _He did it. He_ actually _did it._ All the arguing and the defending and the lying. The years of probing questions and deflecting answers. He did it.

Severus had actually joined Voldemort.

…

"It's a one-way ticket to expulsion," Remus sighed through closed eyes, his head leaned against the headboard.

"This place is getting claustrophobic anyway." Sirius said, dryly, from the floor.

The Marauders (all _four_ ) were in their wonted plan-making corner of the world; Peter's bed. None of the boys were particularly sure when the lumpy mattress had become home to the foundations of their debauchery, but it had held its place for six years and the fact that it no longer comfortably allowed for more than two bodies at a time did nothing to discourage the boys from their habitual scheming. Their legs were longer and their outlooks were darker, but the small bed with the navy comforter and the flat pillow still played host to those same four wide-eyed boys.

"Don't be an idiot. You'd regret it the minute Dumbledore tosses you onto your arse."

Remus and Peter were currently occupying the bed while Sirius laid lazily across the floor and James sat in a pulled-out desk chair.

"Getting tossed out of places I call home is kinda _my thing_ , Moony."

Remus and Peter groaned, the latter throwing a quill at the shaggy-haired boy.

Sirius cackled, fumbling with a box of Bertie Bott's. "I'm just _saying_ , I've already got a record going with chipper ol' Grimmauld Place, the Potter Manor…what's the harm in adding Hogwarts to the list?"

The other two boys sobered, shooting a nervous glance toward James, who was sitting silently, cross-legged at the foot of the small bed.

"Well, shite, I thought that comment would jog his attention." Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "Oi, James." He used his foot to kick the teenager's arm. "Wake up, zombie boy."

James looked up, dark bags under his eyes accentuated by the shadow of the room. "I'm awake. Just thinking."

"Well stop that. Back me up here." He tossed a bean into his mouth. "Moony thinks our plan is _too risky_ , which loosely translates into him being a pussy."

"I just think you're being reckless," Lupin defended with a scowl, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Blah, blah, pussy. I get it." He turned back to James. "Tell him it's brilliant."

…

"Did anyone else know about Severus' note?"

"I told Sirius about it."

"Sirius Black?" Dumbledore looked particularly interested in this detail.

Lily nodded. "He told me it sounded dodgy and didn't want me to go." She broke off to chuckle, darkly. "In hindsight, probably wise advice."

"Did he tell anyone else about the note?"

"I doubt it," she shrugged. "He doesn't really have many mates to tell these days."

"What about family?"

She snorted. "Hardly. Now that Narcissa's graduated, he's only got Regulus and I doubt I need to explain their relationship to you."

"Would you mind doing it anyway?"

Lily squinted. "Explain Sirius and Regulus?" Dumbledore nodded. "Not much to tell there, honestly. They were pretty close before Hogwarts but that pretty much ended when Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, from what I understand. Then Regulus went to Slytherin and Sirius moved in with the Potters. They really only interact in Quidditch contexts now and it's always spiteful. Sirius hates the dark arts and even though Regulus is young, he hangs out with a rough crowd…"

"Mr. Snape?"

"No, not really. He's just a fourth year, so I don't think Severus and his...friends...really give him the time of day."

"I see. So you have no reason to believe that Sirius would have told Regulus about the note you received?"

"Absolutely not. Like I said, they hate each other." Lily shook her head, furiously. "Why do you ask? Regulus wasn't there that night…by the lake."

"I was simply testing a theory, but it seems—"

"You think Sirius set me up?" she said, sharply. "Sir, I mean no disrespect, but that's…that's mad. He would _never_ —"

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore interrupted calmly, holding his hands up in a gesture for her to calm down. "I was insinuating no such thing. I am quite aware of where Mr. Black's loyalties lie."

Lily sank deeper into the pillows, swallowing sheepishly. "Oh."

The twinkle in his icy blue eyes intensified. "I was unaware of how fiercely you cared about him, though. I seem to recall you not taking kindly to his pranks over the years…"

"Yes, well," Lily's mouth twitched. "He's grown up a bit. So have I. And…well, he doesn't really have any other friends right now."

"Mr. Potter is still holding his ground," Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "These things take time."

"It's been months, so I think it's about time he gets over it, actually, but—" she stopped mid sentence, noticing the headmaster's smile, "I'm sorry. I know you don't care about these trivial things." She folded her hands in her lap, nervously.

"On the contrary." he said, pleasantly. "I am happy to know that Gryffindor is being well-taken care of. It sounds as if Mr. Potter and Mr. Black will have your assistance in sorting things out in no time."

Lily offered a close-lipped smile, her hands still fidgeting on top of the hospital blanket. "Professor Dumbledore, when can I go back to school? she asked, quietly.

He sighed, adjusting his dark purple robes as he sat back in the chair. "As Headmaster, it is my duty to make you aware of your choices. The sad fact of the matter is that I do not believe Hogwarts to be a safe place for you right now. Mr. Mulciber, Mr. Rosier, and Mr. Avery will be dealt with in the most severe of consequences. Mr. Snape will also be questioned. But you and I both know that blood supremacy does not begin and end in Slytherin house, Miss Evans. If you choose to return to Hogwarts, I cannot make a promise that you will not be further threatened."

Lily didn't respond, her green eyes dull and fixated on the scratchy blanket.

"I _can_ ensure that security is increased for Muggleborns like yourself. I will reorganise prefect patrol regulations. Professors will be included on rounds and more accessible in emergency situations. Internal security will be upped. In the end, however, I am only capable of so much. I feel that I cannot ask you to return to a school in which you are not 100% safe walking through the corridors of." His eyes, sparkling almost moments before, were distant and murky. "Miss Evans, you very well may be safer continuing your education elsewhere."

"Elsewhere?" she whispered.

He acted as if he did not hear her, his voice suddenly rising in volume and becoming more business-like. "My networking extends beyond the wizarding world and you are a bright young woman. I am positive I can talk to some acquaintances and find a place for you in a muggle university. Professor Slughorn assures me your skill of potions would carry over to Muggle medicine or chemistry. Of course, I do not wish to limit you to only that…you could excel at a great many things, I am sure, Miss Evans."

As he continued to illustrate Lily's future as a Muggle, she could only stare with wide eyes and mouth agape. This was _Dumbledore_ —the man she had respected and revered for years. Even _Voldemort_ feared his power and his goodness. But there he was, sitting in a scratchy hospital chair telling Lily she should go to _university_ , for Merlin's sake, and study _Classics._

"You want me to quit?" she blurted, irritation and aghastness evident.

Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "Quit is not the verbiage I would use, Miss Evans. I merely—"

"Well, it sounds a bleeding lot like quitting to me, Professor."

An interesting array of emotions played across Dumbledore's face as he tilted his head down and peered over his half-moon spectacles curiously. "What alternative do you suggest?"

Lily let out a huff of hot air, struggling to sit up straighter in the bed. "Finishing my education! As a _witch_. I'm not a Muggle, Professor, and I never will be. I can't believe you can sit here and suggest that I—-that I…" She huffed again in agitation. "Professor Dumbledore, sir, that's giving them exactly what they want."

"Giving _who_ what they want?"

"The—the death eaters," Lily said, wildly. " _Voldemort_."

Dumbledore's eyebrows lifted, loftily. "Giving them what they want would make your life quite easy, Lily."

"I don't want _easy_ ," Lily exclaimed in exasperation.

"So am I to understand that you wish to _return_ to Hogwarts and continue to live alongside people who do not believe you have the right to coexist with them?"

"I'm not afraid of them, Professor."

"I see," Dumbledore nodded, a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. "Interesting."

Lily stared, her breath still uneven and short, as her shoulders heaved in frustration.

The older wizard, however, offered her nothing else. He stood abruptly, grabbing his satchel from the floor and readjusting his glasses. His purple robes rustled as he turned toward the door. As if the scene were staged, the door opened of its own accord as Dumbledore reached for it.

Christine Evans bustled in, her hair thrown up into the haphazard bun that Lily had watched her mum consistently put up and take down in moments of stress. "Hello, Professor Dumbledore." She said, quickly, her hand jumping up to grasp his nervously.

"I was just on my way out." The wizard shook her hand, courteously, and continued toward the door.

Mrs. Evans froze, her thin eyebrows shooting up. "Well?" she said, looking at Dumbledore's retreating figure imploringly.

The wizard merely looked over his shoulder at Lily with a smile. "I will be here to escort you back to Hogwarts on Saturday morning, Miss Evans. Rest well until then."

Christine's face fell. "B—back to…Hogwarts?" She blinked a few times. "I thought you were going to—"

"Lily has been made fully aware of her options for the future." he said, slowly, quieting Mrs. Evans with the command that only Dumbledore managed to convey so kindly. "She has chosen to return to Hogwarts." He turned back to Lily, his eyes bouncing back to their electric blue. "Brave girl."

…

'Tense' was an understatement.

Juniper had never been one to hold grudges. They were petty and, ultimately, accomplished nothing. It had been almost a week since her boyfriend had spoken (or truly even _looked_ at her), however, and she was feeling entitled to a bit of pettiness.

The argument on his birthday had been a doozy, but she was an understanding witch. If he would just bloody _talk_ to her, she knew they'd find a way to work it all out. They always worked these things out.

As he walked into the common room and headed straight for the boys' staircase, she felt a sting in her chest. He saw her sitting there. He _definitely_ saw her sitting there. But just like every other time they were in the same room over the past week, he ignored her.

"James!" she bravely called, hopping up from the couch.

He paused his ascent, his back going rigid.

"James," she repeated, as she walked toward him. He turned around slowly and pulled a tight-lipped smile. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"A walk?" he said, as if this concept was foreign to him.

"Y'know...one foot in front of the other. Mobility is the general goal."

"Oh," he said, managing to look at least minorly sheepish. "Er-" He glanced around the room. "Sure."

Juniper held out her hand and he timidly took it, following after her toward the portrait hole.

"How are you doing?" she asked after they made it out of the common room.

"Good," he said with no conviction.

"James," she coaxed, giving his hand a squeeze. "Talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't know," she said, exasperation evident in her voice. "Whatever the hell is going on with you. I know you're upset about this Lily stuff. Talk to me about it."

"Why do you always want to talk about Lily?" he demanded, defensively, pulling his hand from her grip.

"Not _this_ again," June groaned, pulling at her dark hair. "I swear to Merlin, you get so damn sensitive about her. I'm just asking you to open up a bit. I'm your girlfriend."

"Are you?" he asked, darkly.

She stopped in the hall, crossing her arms over her chest. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, we haven't talked in days."

"And that's _my_ fault?"

"Joint effort," he grumbled.

"I thought you needed...space."

" _You_ walked away from _me_."

"James, you were _lying_ to me. How do you think that made me feel?"

"I just want you to trust me!"

"How can I trust you when you never tell me anything? I know you had a reason to blow me off on your birthday, I know this Sirius stuff stresses you out, I know Lily's attack upsets you. But you never talk about anything with me!"

"They're my burdens to bear!" he yelled-practically growled.

"James," she said, her voice suddenly going soft and quiet. She grabbed his hand again, gingerly. "You can't live your life like that."

His face stayed hardened as his chest heaved, his hand limply being engulfed by June's tiny digits. She watched as several emotions danced across his face. The ballet ended with a tired look of defeat. His head dropped and his hand suddenly squeezed back.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, hoarsely, as he turned more fully toward the small witch. Any further apology was cut off as her slender arms wrapped around his torso. After a moment of hesitation, he responded, looping around her back and holding her tight.

...

"Mum," Lily said for the fortieth time. "Mum, it's going to be fine. This is what I want."

"Are you sure? Lily, my love, you were assaulted. They—they…" Her voice broke off. "Why would you want to go back?"

"Mum, I belong there." she said softly.

"No." Christine shook her head, vigorously. "You belong with _me_. I'm supposed to _protect_ you. This…this Voldemort character. He wants you dead. Doesn't he?" When Lily didn't respond, she got louder. "Doesn't he?"

"Yes." Lily whispered.

Christine's grip tighter on her daughter's hand. "Your Headmaster told me he would give you options. He said…he said he could get you into a University. Maybe even Oxford. Lily, remember how you used to always—"

"Mum," Lily slipped her hand out from between her mother's death-like grasp. "He did give me an option. But Mother, I honestly don't even think that's a real option for me. I think…" Lily took a breath, carefully choosing her words. "I think Dumbledore knows me a bit too well and he told both you and I exactly what we needed to hear."

"So he…he lied?" Lily's mother asked miserably..

"No!" Lily shouted, quick to defend her Headmaster. "For some witches and wizards, that—university, a career—that may be a real possibility." she explained. "But I think he knew I could never seriously consider that."

"And why not?" she sounded pained. "Was your life so horrible before?"

"Mum," Lily reached for her mother's hand again. "Mum, I love you. You have given me the best possible life beyond what I could ever imagine. You and Dad…you raised me so well. Loved me so well. But…" She took a shaky breath. "I'm different. My world, it…it's complicated and I…I need to fight for it."

"Why?"

"Because some people won't." Lily said, simply. "Some people will be attacked within an inch of their life and choose the other option. They'll choose to drop out of Hogwarts and go to university. They'll graduate and marry a Muggle and push magic out of their lives. Because they're scared, or tired, or angry. And that's okay. It's their choice. But they shouldn't _have_ to choose, Mum. People should never _have_ to choose. They should _get_ to choose." Lily took a breath. "I have to fight for them."

Christine Evans studied her daughter with quiet intensity, lifting her hand to trace the young witch's cheek. "When did you get so big and brave?" she said, softly.

"I had a good role model," Lily pulled a watery smile.

...

 **A/N: Thank you again to all who have reviewed. Aside from a one-shot or two, this was my first ever attempt at creative writing (I am a government major so I've only ever written boring policy paper stuff before) and I never expected a positive response. I will never be able to articulate how thankful I am for each of you and your kind words.**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**

…


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello, it's been awhile, sorry about that! This chapter is massive (thirteen times the size of my first few chapters hahaha) and I have been debating whether to split it or not for weeks. But, ultimately, I decided that this has dragged enough already, so here you go. All of it at once. Exposition, exposition, exposition. Lots of important build-up points in here that will all make sense, very very soon. Also, I am including a flashback and it feels a bit forced, but I could not find a natural way to include it and taking it out was just not an option. If it makes you hate me, well...oops. :)**

 _Recap: Sixth-year at Hogwarts. Lily overheard some bits and pieces concerning the whereabouts of her missing roommate, Olivia Magnus. The Slytherins she overheard attacked and almost killed her. No one knows exactly how she managed to get out of the situation with her life. Well, no one except for Dumbledore, of course. James has recently been informed of the Order of the Phoenix and, of course, wants to join immediately. Lily was given the option to drop out of Hogwarts or return (with extra safety precautions). The Marauders (along with Anna Brodeur and Mary MacDonald) are cooking up a plan to get back at the Slytherins who attacked Lily, which has led to a sort of reunification for Sirius and James. James is dating fifth-year, Juniper Alessio, but things have been tense._

...

"She's back." Peter said, breathlessly, sliding through the door of the boys' dorm. As his part of Operation Dick the Dickheads (" _It should have a name!" Anna had said. Sirius had jumped at the opportunity to showcase his proclivity for subtle dramatics_.), Peter had spent an extended amount of time in Wormtail form skittering and scurrying about the castle recently, gathering the last few pieces of information needed to proceed with their plan. Most of this occurred between sunset and sunrise as it left the least amount of room for questions from Hogwarts staff.

James and Sirius' heads snapped up from where they were pouring over the Marauder's Map with a scrap of annotated parchment between them. Peter wasn't the only one who was putting in extra hours for the completion of Operation DTD.

"She's back?" James replied, eagerly, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed.

Peter barely managed a nod. His body collapsed against the wall as he regained his breath from sprinting up the stairs. "And I found the-

Sirius and James leaped off the bed and raced past him, shooting down the stairs, before he finished his report. The boys skidded to a stop as soon as they got to the common room.

It was noticeably bereft of a particular redhead.

"You didn't seriously think she'd just be lounging on the sofa with a book, did you?" Mary's tired voice of contempt dripped from a chair in the corner of the room.

"We've been waiting for her for an hour," Anna added, in a much kinder voice.

"Where is she?" Sirius demanded, walking toward the girls.

"Oh, like you get first dibs?" Mary snorted. She stood up and sobered a bit. "She's in Dumbledore's office getting some last minute things in order. McGonagall dropped by a bit ago to fill us in."

"When will she be back?"

Mary shrugged her shoulders. "Any minute now. Care to join our waiting party?"

Sirius and James noted the Exploding Snap set laid out across the table behind Mary. Anna was still seated, shuffling a small deck of cards, carefully, weary of any premature explosions.

"Merlin, I haven't played Snap since second year," Sirius said, excitedly taking a seat at the small table. "Mate, you coming?" he said when he noticed James did not follow.

The taller wizard's eyes were focused on the couch as if he didn't quite believe Mary's sarcasm and was envisioning Lily Evans doing exactly what the sarcastic witch said she wasn't.

"Oi, James!"

James blinked, looking toward Sirius and the girls. "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You want us to deal you in?" He held up his hand of cards.

"Oh. No, I'm going to...walk."

The shaggy-haired wizard narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Walk? Do you want...company?" he said, awkwardly. The boys were still on thin ice with each other and neither was sure exactly how far toward the center they could walk before it would give way and lead to a frigid end.

"No, I won't be long. Just want some fresh air," James shook his head, already turning toward the portrait. Sirius returned a look of incredulous _fresh air, eh?_ but said nothing else, turning back to the girls. He knew when to let James be _James_.

James walked out of the common room and meandered down the nearest staircase, having no real destination in mind. The castle was particularly quiet for a Saturday but he supposed it was a bit early for most students to be up and around.

The past several days had gone by in a haze. Externally, James' life was pretty much back to normal. Quidditch practice was grueling as ever. He got his class assignments completed and turned in on time. Snowcroft's dueling club proceeded as normal (though there was certainly a drag without Lily's snide comments and witty remarks).

Even things with Juniper had fallen back into a normal gait. After their conversation in the hall, an unspoken understanding had been established between the two. James was processing a lot of things, but needed to take his time before he could vocalise most of his thoughts. Juniper promised to be more patient and trusting so long as he let her in when appropriate.

"Is this the welcoming party I was promised? Honestly, I expected better."

James was ripped from his thoughts by a taunting tone he felt he hadn't heard in _weeks_.

His head snapped up from his feet to take in the two figures approaching the staircase he had just descended. Ben Soares and -

 _Lily_.

Her fair face was still marred by the cut that he had traced that night in the hospital wing. His stomach twisted as he remembered she hadn't even been conscious to know he was there, to see his pain, to feel the heat that erupted when his fingers touched her cheek.

"Early mornin' for you, too, eh, Potter?" Ben's crisp, Scottish accent rang out. James noted that Lily's arm (the one not in a sling) was looped through his own strong one.

Funny how irritating Ben's voice...and _stupid right arm_...suddenly seemed.

"Just taking a walk." James responded, striving to keep the coldness out of his voice, because _where had that even come from_?

"To Gryffindor Tower?" Lily jumped in, quietly, yet excitedly. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," he said, impressing himself with his own steadiness of tone. He had just _left_ Gryffindor Tower, for Merlin's sake. What was he _doing_?

"Brilliant." She smiled, turning toward Ben. "I'll just go the rest of the way with Potter, then, if that's alright."

Ben looked mildly disgruntled. "Oh. Are...are you sure? I can-"

"I'm fine," Lily said, giving an _affectionate pat to his arm_.

James tried not to sit on the fact that she had never affectionately patted _his_ arm.

"Well, alright. Then, I'll just er...go back to my own tower, I suppose." He shifted a bit, awkwardly, as Lily slipped her arm out from his. "Take care, Lily. Potter." He nodded to each of the Gryffindors and turned away.

Lily teetered for a bit, not moving closer to James. "Er-sorry but could you come over here? My legs are a bit...shifty."

"What? _Oh_ yeah, of course." James closed the gap in one stride, stopping right on front of her. "What do you er...want me to do?"

In response, she hobbled around until she was next to James and put her arm around his waist, leaning into him. "Merlin, you're tall."

James froze, momentarily, urging his synapses to act _quicker_ , _damn it_. "You're short." he replied, quickly.

She glanced up at him with a dangerous grin. "That the best you got? God, you're out of practice. I knew you missed me but, damn, Potter."

Was she... _flirting_ with him?

"Now put your arm around me and don't you dare touch my arse or I swear to God I will hex your pretty face right off."

 _...put your arm around me…_

 _...pretty face…_

"Oi, earth to Potter," she snapped, impatiently, which wasn't very fair because how could she expect him to jump into action when _pretty face, pretty face, pretty face_.

He nervously put his arm around her shoulders and swallowed when he felt her fingers grasp one of his belt loops for grip and her weight lean in toward him.

"I haven't done stairs yet, so this should be fun, but you've worked hard for that nice Quidditch bod, so let's put it to work, yeah? Up we go. You step, I step."

The two struggled up the staircase as Lily grunted in various forms of expletives and James tried not to think about what kind of pair _pretty face_ and _nice Quidditch bod_ made.

Eventually, they made it and Lily pulled away, choosing to lean on the rail with her good arm. " _Christ_ , you leave the castle for one bloody week and your body forgets how to breathe properly on stairs."

"Well, I think your lungs are having to...overcompensate a bit," he said, gesturing toward the various injuries evident on her body.

"You sound like Ben," she laughed, with a good-natured eye roll.

 _Ben_. James strived to remember when his good mate, Ben, had become _Ben_. The bloke had never done a thing wrong to James, as far as he could remember. Yet, somehow, hearing the name fall from Lily's lips, accompanied by a dainty giggle, made him want to throw the guy into a wall.

"He came into Dumbledore's office while I was there to deliver some paperwork from Flitwick. He had early rounds today. Early Saturday is the _worst_ shift." Lily explained, still leaning on the rail with her eyes closed. "Dumbledore asked if he would walk me back to Gryffindor and I swear the boy mentioned my injuries every other second."

So it had only been by _coincidence_ he had found them together. And she was leaning on him out of _necessity._

Not that it mattered.

"I never thought I'd be so ruddy happy to see you." She pushed off of the stair railing. "Thanks for the rescue."

"Anytime."

She studied his face, her head tilted slightly to the side as she rested on the railing. "Were you...busy with something?" she asked a bit awkwardly after a moment. "It's okay if you were!" she added quickly, plowing on gracelessly. "I just, well...I expect Mary and Anna have an ambush waiting for me when I get back to the common room and I'd really rather have a few minutes to decompress before I walk into that." She blew a hair out of her face and then hurriedly added, "But again, it's totally fine if you were doing something important, or honestly not important. I don't want to monopolise your morning, I just thought-"

"How about the kitchens?" James suggested, interrupting her ramblings.

Lily paused, looking up at him. "The...kitchens?"

He grinned, shoving a hand into his pocket. "I know a guy."

A grateful smile spread across her own face. "Let's go."

…

Half an hour and half a pint of ice cream later, the two teenagers were sufficiently giggly. What had begun with James filling Lily in on various Hogwarts gossip she had missed in her week stay at St. Mungo's quickly avalanched into various recounts of his own mischief over the past six years. There was an unstated appreciation on Lily's behalf that he didn't try and talk about the attack or even skirt toward the subject. On James' part, he just determined to keep making her laugh as long as she would let him because he wasn't sure how much of that she'd be able to do when the rest of the school found out she was back at Hogwarts.

"But _why_ charm the book to insult her?"

"It wasn't the book, it was the _pages_."

"How is that any different?!"

"Come now, Evans, you're cleverer than that."

Lily's eyebrows knit together in a mix of riddled confusion and concentration before suddenly jumping back into place. "Oh my _God._ Gloria _Paige_. You...it was a pun!" She broke off into laughter. "You're a bunch of idiots!"

" _No_ , we merely have a certain appreciation for irony in it's most appalling of forms."

She pulled the pint of hazelnut ice cream that lay between them closer to herself as she dipped her spoon in, coming back up with an ambitious sized bite. "I suppose that explains the lilies in my bookbag for three weeks in a row last year, hm?" she rolled her eyes as she talked around the frozen snack.

"Oh, come on, give us more credit than that." He looked offended at her accusation, jerking the pint back toward himself. "Do you know what lilies symbolise?"

"Yes...devotion."

"Correct. And do you remember _when_ those three weeks were?"

"No…?"

"After the Quidditch game against Slytherin." He supplied with a grin, waiting for her to catch on.

"After the...what?" Her eyebrows joined back together, her nose scrunching up to join them, and then, "OH MY GOD."

James began to laugh.

"I caught you and Sirius smuggling in all that firewhiskey during the party that night. I was on prefect rounds. And I...I let you go free…"

"You said it was the _least you could do for the heroes of Gryffindor_."

"I _highly doubt_ I ever said anything like-"

"But you did, Evans! We were so shell-shocked by your loyalty that we just _had_ to show our appreciation."

"So stuffing flowers into my bag for a month was your way of saying...thank you?"

"Something like that, yeah," he grinned.

"You're an idiot."

"I'm the _hero of Gryffindor_." he corrected her, shoving a spoonful of hazelnut ice cream into his mouth.

It was all so easy with James. She wasn't sure when that had happened, because it certainly hadn't _always_ been easy. As she considered the messy-haired boy next to her, she was reminded once again of how quickly their dynamic had shifted. This led to a quick escalation of thought as to what dynamic is had actually _become_ , but that was an evaluation for another time.

For the present moment, it was nice to just sit and eat ice cream with a friend, talking about pranks and memories.

"I...thank you." she said after a moment of quiet. "For, y'know...not asking."

He studied her for a moment, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I think you're going to get plenty of that over the next few days."

"Yeah," Lily laughed, breathily. "You're probably right."

"I know that Macdonald and Brodeur and McKinnon...they're your mates. But if you ever need to, I don't know, _process_ , or anything...outside of your circle, well... I'm here."

It was her turn to study him for a bit. "Yeah," she said softly after a moment, "I know."

"The castle's been boring." he said, his mouth twitching a bit.

"Ben said that Gryffindor Quidditch got cancelled four days in a row," she said it as a statement, but it was definitely meant to be an open-ended question.

His hand crept up toward his hair. "Well, it just….didn't seem right."

"You cancelled Quidditch for me?" she asked, quietly...incredulously.

He pulled at a curl at the crown of his head. "I didn't really can-" he began, but apparently thought better of it. "Yeah." he muttered, with a defeated sigh.

"Thank you," she said, softly, reaching for the hand that was fisted in his hair. He allowed her to grab it and set it on the table in front of them, her own quickly squeezing it in appreciation.

…

Lily curled into the comfort of her scarlet bed, relishing the warmth of her lavender-scented sheets. Dumbledore's theory on appreciating things the most when you were temporarily without them seemed to hold in various situations, trivial and paramount. Yes, her sheets fell into one of these categories. But it was far more interesting to consider the items she could place in the latter.

The day had been exhausting, to say the least. Her friends, as she had expected and as James had warned, had indeed prepared an ambush of sorts. It wasn't completely unappreciated, it was just a bit overwhelming. She hardly had time to spend with her girl friends before word spread to the rest of the house and she was suddenly greeted by a multitude of hugs and pitying smiles. Obviously, she preferred one response more than the other.

After a full morning of conversation and light catching-up with various house mates, the common room mostly emptied as students filed out toward lunch. Lily found that her own appetite wasn't there, so she retired to the dorm to take a quick nap and unpack the few of her belongings which had been gathered by McGonagall on her behalf and sent to St. Mungo's when she was there.

She had her first check-in with Healer Harding and was introduced to the new assistant healer, Mademoiselle Pomfrey. It was curious that a witch with no apparent French heritage or education would insist on the title, but Lily didn't have time to decipher that between Harding's lectures on what was and was not deemed appropriate physical activity over the next few weeks. Thankfully, magical medicine was far more effective and expedient than Muggle medicine and Lily was mostly healed.

The sling on her arm was a precaution and the medicines she was required to take every morning were for pain-relief more than anything else. Her leg was still incredibly weak, however, regardless of the intensive wandwork which had been done on it at St. Mungo's.

For Lily, the worst thing were the headaches. When her father had been sick, he would suffer from frequent and severe migraines. Lily had never quite understood the sort of pain that made a grown man collapse into a chair or hide away in a dark room for hours at a time, but she suddenly had a special sort of understanding.

She was unable to recall some of the details from later in the attack, but it was recounted to her that she had been hit in the back of the head with a large rock. The healers said a concussion was a small, and lucky, price to pay when amnesia could have been at stake.

Aside from the medical side, Lily found herself settling into other routines as well. For the proceeding two weeks, she was instructed to have an escort of fifth-year or older at all times, when outside her dorm or a professor's office. Dumbledore insisted on this particular addition to her daily routine and Lily found that she had no desire to object.

Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery had been expelled. Permanently.

This did very little to calm Lily's nerves, however. They were not the only individuals with ties to dark magic and Lily had no doubt that they would be quick to seek retaliation if given the chance.

She had been back at Hogwarts for a little more than twelve hours, but already spent three of them crying on the floor of the loo. She felt ashamed and cowardly to let herself become so overwhelmed with fear, but when she ventured to dinner and caught sight of Severus staring at her from the Slytherin table, she couldn't do anything but run to the nearest restroom. Mary had followed her and held her hair back as she retched into the toilet for several minutes, but it did little to ease her unsettledness.

She thought of her mother, sleeping miles away in their small house in Cokeworth. She thought of her yellow bedroom just down the hall, with its hand-painted polka dots and mural of herself and Petunia that their dad had painted when they were in primary school. She thought of how useless the happy brightness of the room would be to someone who had a mark for death, someone like her.

…

"Explain it to me again."

" _Evans_ ," Sirius whined, plucking a laughing lollipop from the rotating display.

"I just don't understand. You're speaking again? But you're not...friends?"

"It's situational, I told you."

"Yeah, I _know_ , but what does that _mean_?"

He tossed the candy into the small basket that Lily had hanging at her side, grinning victoriously when it bounced off the rim and landed squarely inside, among the pit of sweets he had been adding to over the past half hour. "I can't explain it. It's bloke stuff."

Lily scrunched her nose. "Don't be chauvinistic. Also, this basket is getting heavy. Are we done yet?" She sighed. "And note my use of _we_ even though I haven't contributed one bloody piece of shit to this pile of junk."

"Interrogate Prongs instead of me for once. And stop complaining, you know damn well that you'll end up stealing half of this from me." He took the basket from her anyway, throwing her a grumpy pout as he did so.

"You're a child."

"What I strive to hear from my female company."

She flicked his forehead. "I'm not your _female company_ , you tosser."

"Really?" He glanced pointedly down at her chest. "Because I- _oi!_ "

"Bloody pervert." she growled as she shoved into his ribs.

He swung an arm around her shoulder and navigated her through the throngs of students, unashamedly using his free elbow to push people out of the way. "James and I are just as spiteful as you left us, so the band's not back together just yet. We've simply found a... _project_...that will be better suited to our combined effort."

"A project," she echoed, suspiciously. "Like...a prank?"

"Something like that, yeah."

" _Sirius_." She swung out from under his arm to glare at him. "The term is almost over! Can't you just wait until summer to get your debauchery out of your system. You can move back in with James and y'all can blow stuff up to your heart's desire."

He lifted the basket onto the small counter as they got to the front of the store, dumping the massive contents in front of the wide-eyed store clerk. "D-did you find everything alright today?" the short, pudgy man asked, eyeing the candy quantity in shock.

"Does it _look_ like I had any trouble finding anything today, mate?" Sirius shot back, moodily.

The clerk shook his head frantically and started punching in numbers to the antiquated register. Sirius leaned against the counter and turned back to Lily, brushing a rogue curl out of his eyes. "We're not setting off fireworks in the dungeons or spiking the pumpkin juice at the closing feast, alright? Just trust us, yeah?"

"Trust you?" Lily put a hand on her hip and quirked an eyebrow. " _Trust you?_ Really, _Padfoot_?"

"Oi, we told you about that, didn't we!"

Lily snorted. "Yes, three _weeks ago_. And it's been going on for _years_."

"Well, you've only recently proven yourself to be able to handle it."

"Proven myself to be-" Lily scoffed in outrage.

"16 Galleons, 10 Sickles, 22 Knuts, please." the clerk spoke up, timidly.

"Sirius! That's almost forty pounds!" Lily hissed.

"If you expect me," Sirius grunted as he dug through his pocket, "to have _any_ idea what that even means, you're gonna be disappointed, Ginge." He pointed to his chest and enunciated slowly, " _Wi-zard._ "

Lily sighed, grabbing for a couple of the bags as Sirius finished paying.

The two teenagers exited the shop, once again fighting the hoards of teenage witches and wizards loitering about through Honeyduke's. For mid-April, it was considerably warm, so Lily peeled off her light jumper as they stepped back onto the high street of Hogsmeade.

"When are you meeting up with your mates again?" Sirius asked as they strolled up the street.

"Not until half past." An overly-innocent grin broke onto her face. "Wanna do some shopping with _me_ now?" she said brightly.

Sirius frowned in apprehension. "Are you going to make me watch you try on dress robes and then ask if you look fat? Because you should know that I'm brutally honest and you may not like what you get with me."

"No offense, Black, but I'd rather ask Dumbledore to watch me try on clothes than _you_."

"And here I was, thinking Slughorn was more your type."

Lily dug into one of the bags on her arm and came up victorious. "Here's a chocoball. Take that and choke on it for me, will you?"

…

It was the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year and the weather was agreeable to boot. The winter had been spectacularly cold in Scotland, so the warmer temperatures were greeted with open arms. James and Juniper had an entire day date planned, something they hadn't been able to do in a while, so they were equally excited.

"Are you ready for lunch or do you want to wait a bit?"

Juniper swung their joined hands, dramatically. "Is that code for 'let's eat now, woman, or I'll keel over and die' or a more subtle suggestion of 'let's eat now, woman, or I'll kindly wither away into nothing?'"

"Eh. Up for interpretation."

"And if I say I want to wait an hour?"

"I will be a charming boyfriend and let you choose which of your limbs you offer as sacrifice to my cause."

"James!" she gagged, through a laugh, pulling her arm away from his, in mock defense.

He opted to throw his arm around her shoulder and pull her entire body significantly, cackling all the way. "So Three Broomsticks?"

"Three Broomsticks," she confirmed, with an eye roll.

…

"I'll wait outside."

"You will do no such thing. I played packmule to your sweets exploits, you can handle a quill shop for five minutes, thank you very much."

They were in front of Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop and Sirius was putting up a fight. He had set forth with a customary amount of sass and grumpiness, but ultimately willing to follow Lily around Hogsmeade as she ran errands. His threats of leaving her to shop by herself were transparently empty and she even managed to produce a few smiles from him along the way.

As Lily attempted to pull Sirius through the anachronistic doors of Scrivenshaft's, however, his feet dug into the ground and he wrestled his arm from her grip.

"Please don't make me go in there." he whined.

"Sirius." Lily said, firmly, hands on her hips as she rounded on him. "What's the big deal?"

"I just...hate Scrivenshaft's." he said, pathetically, yet simultaneously holding his ground.

"No way. Not good enough. Let's go." she said, grabbing for his wrist again and pulling him in.

" _Evans_ ," he muttered as the bell chimed, announcing their arrival. Lily watched him glance quickly toward the counter and sag in slight relief when he noticed no one standing there.

"The store is empty, _as always_. No one is going to see you in here shopping for stationary so your reputation is perfectly safe. So shut up and help me pick a birthday gift for McCall."

"Simmons?" The mention of the sixth-year witch seemed to pique his interest enough to pull him slightly from his mood.

"Mmhmm," she said, navigating toward the back corner where a select group of antiques were kept in stock.

"Have you...talked to her this week?"

"No more than usual. She's always quiet," she said, casually, picking up a small teacup, and rolling it over in her hand. "Why?"

"Well," he began, "she had a bit of an outburst. Right after your...er incident, actually."

"Oh?" Lily hummed, with minimal interest. "Does this scream grandmother or is it cutesy?

"I don't know what the hell _cutesy_ means and I refuse to even attempt to unpack it. But yeah, she kind of went off on McGonagall, honestly. She was raving about Olivia Magnus, I th-"

He was cut off as the teacup fell out of Lily's hand and shattered on the floor.

"Oh, _bugger_." Lily cried, her eyes widening as she dropped to the floor, reaching for the pieces.

"Hey, hey, easy. Don't touch those, you'll cut yourself up." Sirius said, dropping to the floor next to her. He noticed that her hands were shaking as she timidly reached for a large shard of the blue china. "Evans. Calm down, we can fix this easily." He withdrew his wand, and murmured a quick, " _Reparo!_ " watching in satisfaction as the pieces of the cup reassembled.

He stood up, twisting the cup over in his hand before realising that she had not risen from the ground with him. "Lily?"

She didn't respond.

"Lily," he repeated, softer, as he crouched back down next to her. "Hey, look at me. You're okay."

Her green eyes were glossy and unfocused as she turned to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he said, his lips forming a concerned frown.

"What?" she asked through her own down-turned expression, before blinking with a jolt and pulling a sudden, nervous smile. "Oh, I'm so _clumsy_. Sorry about that, thanks for cleaning my mess!" She forced an uncomfortable laugh and stood up, abruptly.

"Lily," he said, firmly, using his firm grip to pull her shoulder back around as he stood up next to her. "What _happened_?"

"Nothing! Like I said, the cup just...slipped."

"Are you-"

"I should have known that if I followed the sound of the crash, I would find you!" a new voice interrupted.

Sirius and Lily both jumped at the entrance of Mrs. Scrivenshaft's petite, withered body. "You know, there's a Muggle tale about a leprechaun being found at the end of a rainbow. Obviously we know leprechauns have _other_ uses, but I'm not sure they'd be so off if they paired you with destruction, Sirius Black." Her feeble smile was blinding. "Get over here and give me a hug."

Lily watched with interest as Sirius robotically moved toward the older woman and accepted her embrace.

"Where have you _been_?" she said in his ear, just loud enough for Lily to hear.

"Oh, you know," Sirius said, weakly, "here, there."

Scrivenshaft pulled away as quickly as her body would allow her and swatted at his arm. "You have most certainly _not_ been here, m'boy."

"Sorry," he said, fumbling with his rolled sleeves. Sirius Black didn't _fumble_ with anything, so it was a peculiar occurence to witness. "I've been...busy."

"Always the excuse with you boys," the witch sighed, though not unkindly. Suddenly, her eyes took in Lily's small form from behind the tall wizard. "Oh! Miss...Evans, was it?"

"Yes ma'am," Lily smiled, pleasantly. "Just Lily is fine."

"You were in here with James a couple months ago!"

Sirius turned toward Lily with lifted eyebrows as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Were you?" he said, with a haughty smirk.

" _No_ ," she replied, pointedly, though she knew that the heat she felt on her cheeks was probably less imaginary than she wished. "We happened to run into each other... _actually_ run into each other a couple Hogsmeade trips ago."

"How did that card go over with your sister?" Mrs. Scrivenshaft half-whispered, conspiratorially.

Lily laughed, genuinely. "Y'know, I didn't get a response, so I suppose it went exactly as we expected."

"Oh, goodie!" the witch grinned. Then, as if she suddenly remembered she had placed a cake in the oven, her eyes lit up and she straightened with a bounce. "I'm so glad you came in! I have something for you."

"You...do?" Lily questioned, nervously. She shot a glance at Sirius who had been watching her strangely, but he merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Yes, yes, come along," the elderly woman said, hurriedly, as she turned and began to move down the aisle (remarkably quick for a woman her age). Lily followed, helplessly. "I've been meaning to get this to James for _weeks_. Would you mind delivering it for me?"

"Er-sure, what is it?" Lily asked.

"Never mind that. Something he ordered a long while ago. I've been too busy to send it up to the school in a post and you lot haven't been down here since the beginning of March. It would be _such_ a help, dear." The woman looked at Lily imploringly, as she slid around the counter of her front register.

"I-okay."

"Oh, wonderful!" Mrs. Scrivenshaft squealed, reaching behind the counter for a small brown box. She pulled a sheet of parchment from the top of the table and hastily scribbled something on it before opening the box and sliding it in, quickly replacing the top before Lily could glance inside. "Now," she said, as she tied a floppy blue ribbon around it. "If you open this before giving it to him, I will _know_ , d'ya hear me?"

"Y-yes ma'am."

The older witch smiled sweetly. "Good girl." She patted Lily's cheek affectionately and then pulled her hand back quickly. Her eyebrows dropped into a frown and her hand moved back to Lily's cheek, this time slower and more gently. "My dear girl, what happened?"

Lily jerked away, instinctually, backing right into Sirius who dropped the small blue teacup as he grabbed to steady himself. The china shattered on the floor once again, causing Lily to jump back even further. Her eyes were wide and wild and her countenance was reminiscent of a frightened kitten being backed into a corner.

Her eyes flickered from Mrs. Scrivenshaft to the teacup to Sirius. The latter wizard stepped toward her in concern and the rational part of Lily knew that this was an act of concern, a sign that he _cared_ about her, that he wanted to help, not harm her.

But she grabbed James' package and swept out the door in a bustle, her breathing quick and laboured.

...

As the couple waited for their food half an hour later, June withdrew a folded envelope from her pocket and slid it across the table toward James. "Guess what that is."

The Gryffindor opened the envelope and pulled out a parchment with the Ministry letterhead. "Dear Miss Alessio, we are pleased to inform you that your request for-"

"My portkey request got approved!" she squealed, unable to wait for her boyfriend to finish reading.

"What?" James asked, incredulously.

"I KNOW! I put it in _weeks ago_ , so I thought it got lost in records or that they had seen it was from an underage witch and ignored it, but they _approved_ it, James! I'm going to America!"

James offered an encouraging grin. "Junie, that's amazing! You're going to have the best time!"

"Ugh, I know," she sighed, wistfully. "I owled Mum and Dad to see if they would get in touch with Lionel for me. His communication is still spotty because of the distance, but I think they were going to try and get an overseas owl to write him themselves, so I'm hoping I can tack on my own details to that. I'll be in New York, so I'm hoping to do _all_ the tourist things. I'll have to see the Statue of Liberty, of course, and maybe go to the theatre once or twice. But I'm mostly excited about getting to see his job. Which brings up something else."

James' eyebrows knit together. "What's that?"

"Well, I met with McGonagall this week for my mandatory career counseling. It's just fifth-year so it's nothing serious, but just to kind of talk things over, you know. Well, of course you know...I suppose you had to do the same thing last year, huh?" She broke off into a nervous chuckle and then cleared her throat, trekking on. "Well, anyway, she brought up Spanish and Portuguese. I've never really thought about those as strengths because that's just part of who I am. My family has always spoke Spanish around the house and I learned Portuguese when I was so young. But McGonagall said that foreign languages are really valuable and that MACUSA is trying to jumpstart an international foreign affairs program.

"It would basically pull witches and wizards from all over the globe for peacetalk and negotiating purposes. It's highly focused on conflict resolution and communication skills, and anyone who knows more than one language is automatically given extra consideration."

"I think that sounds incredible. Is it something you're interested in?"

"I don't know," she chewed on her cheek. "It sounds like something I'd love and be good at, which I've always wanted. And I...I know how you feel about the war, but I'm just…" She paused, choosing her words carefully. "I don't want to be in the middle of it all. I'm not like you."

"We're already in the middle of it, June." he pointed out.

"But we're not," she said, through a cautious frown. "James, we're purebloods. No one is forcing us to-"

"No one is forcing us to fight? Juniper," he leaned across the table, "do you read the _Prophet_? People are being murdered!"

"I know! And this isn't coming from a place of pureblood mania. Please don't think that. You know me, James, I'm," she dropped her voice to a quieter volume, "...I'm not like that."

"I know you aren't," he said through his own rough whisper. "But how can you say-"

"Because we're not all made to fight, James!" she said, a little louder than it seemed she had intended. Her eyes widened at her own outburst, and she sunk deeper into her seat, her shoulders dropping in tired defeat. "I don't want to die."

"You're not going to _die_ ," he said, softly.

"You can't promise that. You know that. I _could_ die. _You_ could die." She took another deep breath, straightening in her seat as she struggled to regain her composure. "I just think that I'd be better suited on the administrative side."

"Which essentially means what? Running away to hide in America as soon as you graduate? Cowering under the guise of 'international peacemaking?' C'mon, June, you're better than that."

Her eyes flashed. "I'm not _cowering_ and I'm certainly not _running away_. It's a perfectly respectable career choice and just a few minutes ago, you were _encouraging_ it!"

"Yeah, before I knew you were using it as an alternative to stepping up and actually doing something worthwhile!"

She froze, her face suddenly losing its red, angry tint and paling. "What does that mean, _actually doing something worthwhile_? Because I don't want to be an Auror like you? Because I'm not willing to die before I finish school?" Her green eyes dulled in colour but gleamed with the moisture threatening to spill over. "Bravery has many forms, James. You, of _all_ people, should know that."

She grabbed the jumper she had tossed next to her in the booth and stood up, abruptly, leaving James alone at the table as she ran toward the door, the tears now falling freely down her face.

…

Lily hurried up the alley, her head ducked down as she avoided eye contact with the other students milling up and down the street. More than ever, she wished for cold weather as an excuse to wear a scarf to bury her face in at the moment. Strictly speaking, she was going against Dumbledore's request to keep another student with her at all times, but that was at the bottom of her priority list right about now.

The panic attack in the quill shop had been the most recent in the string of moments that Lily had been suffering from over the past week back at Hogwarts. It was easy to distract herself with various homework assignments and engagements with her mates, but, occasionally, a moment of fear and petrification would sneak up on her. Usually while walking by the Black Lake on the way to the greenhouses for Herbology or in Potions when she was sandwiched in between two tables of Slytherins.

As she rounded the upper corner of the street, she ducked into a clearing between two shops, spying an isolated corner to hide in. She leaned against the brick wall to catch her breath, willing her tears to stop and her stomach to stop lurching so violently. Slowly, her body slid along the wall and dropped to the ground, unconcerned for the dirt and grime that no doubt littered it.

It wasn't long before Sirius' blurry body, predictably, came into view through her teary eyes. He wasn't one to sit back and let disasters happen so she had been anticipating him to follow not too far behind her, even if coddling crying girls wasn't really his thing. In the past week, he had witnessed several near-catastrophes when Lily got triggered around Hogwarts' grounds and had never quite fallen for Lily's "I'm fine!" facade.

"Hey," she managed pathetically, aggressively swiping at the tears still cascading from her eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry. I-I didn't-"

"You shouldn't be here alone."

Lily froze, dropping her hands to her side as her head snapped to take in Sirius' appearance more closely. Sirius' voice was _not_ that deep and...his hair was _not_ that short.

"R-R-Regulus," Lily stuttered as she attempted to jump up from the ground, clutching at her wand. This was the _second_ time she had mistaken the younger boy for his older brother and the last time had been what started this entire mess.

The Slytherin watched her from several feet away with an indistinguishable emotion flickering in his eyes. His hands were shoved into his front pockets in a way that, at another less frightening moment, Lily may have recognised from Sirius' own nervous mannerisms.

"Get…" she took a deep breath and a brave step forward, withdrawing her wand, shakily. "Get away from me."

"I'm not going to attack you." he said with a slight frown that twitched at one corner. "I just...I saw you turn down here and you don't…" He shifted, awkwardly. "You're not supposed to be alone."

She continued to glare, her wand still defensively held at arm's length. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," he said quickly. "I just don't want you to be…" He paused, searching for a word. "Stupid." he finished, tilting his chin up in what Lily assumed he thought appeared confident.

She _did_ notice the similarity to Sirius this time. He was always adopting that idiotic chin-up posture when he was feeling his most out-of-sorts. _Aristocratic_ , he called it. _Tosser_ , she generally threw back.

"Stupid," she echoed, her wand arm slowly dropping to her side.

"Yes," he nodded sharply. "You'll get yourself in trouble and that will only attract attention. So just...don't wander off alone."

Lily took another step forward, her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the fourth-year. "You're...looking out for me."

He snorted, indignantly, though it sounded tepid. "I'm looking out for _myself_. I don't need Slytherin house to get even more questions and suspicions from the professors just because some Mudblood wandered off alone."

"Your housemates attacked me, Regulus," she pointed out quietly.

His eyebrows shifted from their harsh point to a soft furrow. "I don't...they don't…" He had freckles, she noticed. Not many, and not prominent enough to notice on first glance, but they were greatly contrasted to his pale skin. Interesting. "You must have deserved it." He pushed his shoulders back, proudly.

She should have been offended, or even angry, but all she could see was a _boy_ , and it didn't help that his grey eyes looked just as shallow and lost as Sirius'.

"You know exactly why they attacked me, Regulus. You were in the corridor that day. Talking about Olivia."

"I didn't...I don't know anything about Magnus. Your friend. That's all Rosier. I don't…" He shook his head, blinking a couple times before his voice got softer and his proud countenance got dropped. "And I didn't know they would...hurt you."

"What did we do to you?"

"What?" he asked, his eyebrows dropping again.

"Muggleborns. Why...why do you hate us?"

He was clearly taken aback by this question. "You're not...you don't have magical blood." Then, his chin lifted back into place and his voice took on a lighter air. "You're from a different breed of human. A lesser breed. Purebloods in history mixed with Muggles and dirtied the bloodline. Now, Muggles think they can be wizards." He scoffed.

"That's propaganda." she said, quietly. "I've heard that before. On...on a pamphlet. Did someone make you...memorise that?"

"What?" he said, this time loudly, as his grey eyes grew in intensity. "That's not propaganda, that's _truth_ , you filthy mudblood."

Lily sighed, knowing her gap for understanding was over. "You don't have to blindly follow them, y'know. You can make your own path. Sirius did."

" _Sirius_ finds joy in dishonouring my family and tarnishing the pureblood legacy."

He had a dimple. Just one and it only appeared when he frowned in insolence, but it was there. Lily wondered what it would look like if he smiled.

"I don't have to stand here and listen to your pathetic defenses. You're _not_ a witch."

"Okay, Regulus," she said softly, feeling nothing but defeat. It was heart-rending to think about the boy standing in front of her- _how many others were there?_ -so filled with lies and darkness. Could no one save them from their families, their peers, their _selves_?

"You're obviously in no state to take care of yourself. So don't be an idiot and find a _real_ wizard to stay with you." He turned, sharply, and left the small alley.

…

He should have gone after her. That was the noble, gallant, chivalrous thing to do. The _right_ thing to do. And, in any other circumstance, James would have jumped to follow that ideology.

But this wasn't a domestic spat. Yes, he made hurtful accusations and yes, she belittled his beliefs. The core issue between James and Juniper, however, had very little do with how they viewed each other and everything to do with how they viewed the world. Or, more specifically, their role in it.

Neither was inherently _wrong_. Just _different_. And sitting at the small booth in The Three Broomsticks, James realised how paramount those differences were.

His relationship with June was over. He'd have a conversation with her later to smooth things over and give her the respect she deserved, the respect he had withheld from her during their lunch argument. But it wouldn't fix things. They'd gone back and forth on so many issues over the past few months and enough was enough. The war created thick lines in the sand and it was very rarely an issue of good versus bad. Within each of those categorisations were the individual choices to fight or flight.

James insisted that his choice was made for him, be it by his parents' occupation, his intrinsic desire to advocate, or the situations around him. He had to fight. On the front lines or wherever Dumbledore needed him.

Juniper felt no pull to risk her life in battle. She was _fifteen_ , and it didn't seem right to put that on the line. Not yet. And not for anyone other than her own family. It was horrendous, the things happening every day to Muggleborns. But she hadn't even finished her education. It wasn't her responsibility to defend them when she had so much to figure out for herself.

"Here you are, love," Rosmerta's saccharine voice inked through James' mope. She set down two full plates, each with a large sandwich and heaping portion of chips.

James sighed. "Thanks, Rosie. My er...she left."

Rosmerta clicked her tongue sympathetically. "Sorry, love. Rotten luck, that is." She put a fist on her hip and stared at the food on the table with a concentrating frown. "Well, lunch is on me, then. No use paying twice for a heartbreak, eh?"

He pulled an appreciative smile and nodded, reaching for a chip, as the barmaid sauntered away.

…

"Merlin, Evans, you can't _do that!_ " Sirius cried, gripping both of her shoulders as he scanned her for any obvious injury or sign of alarm.

She shook off his hands, stepping out of his grip. "I'm fine, Black."

"Hey," he said, pulling her back around with a frown, "what happened back there? And why'd you run off alone? You _know_ you shou-"

"I'm _fine_. Just had a little moment. Nothing major." She resumed her walk up the street. "I'm due to meet my mates in five minutes."

"Well that means I get five more minutes in your presence. Don't deprive me, Evans." He jogged to catch up with her hurried strides. "Where'd you run off to, anyway? I've been ducking into every store on this street and got no hits."

Lily ignored his question, swinging around to face his full body. "Are your parents Death Eaters?"

Sirius snapped to a stop. "What the hell, Lily?"

"Are they?"

His gaze quickly flickered to both sides of their stopping place before he looked to her with a firm frown. "No."

"Is there a 'but' there?"

"No, they're not Death Eaters." Sirius resumed the walk toward the Three Broomsticks.

"But they're sympathetic, right? To You-Know-Who and his cause?"

"If you want to be on time to meet your mates, you may want to pick up the pace."

"Don't ignore me, Black."

"Couldn't if I wanted to, Evans." he sighed in defeat, glancing back at her. "Why the sudden interest in the parents? What happened between Scrivenshaft's and when you walked out of that alley?"

"Just curious."

"Uh huh," he snorted. "Honesty works both ways, Ginge."

She could tell him about her rendezvous with Regulus, but something told her that would be the worst idea in the world. Sirius had never been subtle about his recklessness and the last thing she wanted to do was give him further encouragement toward his sibling rivalry.

As extroverted as Sirius fronted, he managed to dominate conversations in a way that kept the attention on what he wanted...and away from what he didn't. Which, in most cases, meant the exclusion of his family.

"Never mind. Just drop it."

He looked at her out the corner of his eyes in suspicion but abided by her request.

"Well, I'll just...see you later, then?" he said, pushing open the door of the Three Broomsticks and motioning for her to enter. She nodded meekly and stepped around him to enter the bustling restaurant, squeezing his arm as she passed him. He stood sentry at the door, making sure she made it across the room, where she slid into a booth already occupied by Mary and Anna.

Sirius made eye contact and exchanged a quick nod with Mary in an understanding of passing off the baton to her. Neither of the teenagers thought Lily to be incompetent or unable to protect herself-the very opposite in fact. However, McGonagall had strictly instructed both of them, in addition to a few other close friends of Lily's, to keep an eye on her at all times. This was partially a safety precaution as Dumbledore did not expect Lily to suddenly be out of harm's way with the expulsion of the three Slytherins. Mostly, though, as Sirius and Mary both knew, it was a sort of emotional check-in. After the physical and mental trauma she went through, no one expected her to be right back to normal and Lily's mates were encouraged to make sure Lily's psychological state was stable.

As he turned to leave the restaurant, another table caught his eye. Closer to the bar was a corner booth typically tenanted by snogging couples, currently with only one head popping above the seat.

And Sirius would recognise that rat's nest excuse for hair anywhere.

"This seat taken?" he said after a moment of bravery and a walk toward the lonely booth.

James didn't seem surprised to see his former best mate standing above him. "Go ahead."

Sirius slid into the booth and stared at the full plate of food in front of him with a curiously cocked eyebrow. "You eating for two?"

"That was June's. You can have it." he said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Alright." Sirius didn't need to be told twice. He immediately grabbed for a chip. "Trouble in paradise, then?"

"We broke up."

"Ah." Sirius leaned over to take a sip of the untouched butterbeer, not bothering to remove his hands from the sandwich he was gripping.

"You don't sound surprised."

"Well," Sirius mumbled around a large bite, "I told you how I felt about that one. Dusty trophy."

James shrugged, pitifully, resting his chin atop his fist. He was too exhausted to be made uncomfortable by Sirius' sudden presence at his table.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, with a hint of apprehension.

James didn't respond, immediately, choosing to chew on his words. He was _mad_ at Sirius and that _hadn't_ changed. _Wouldn't_ change.

But even so...Sirius was sitting at the table and it wasn't like James would implode from venting for a couple minutes. He deserved that much, at least. And it had nothing to do with Sirius. He was simply the one who happened to be on the other side of the table. He would unload to _anyone_ about his spat with June.

Twenty minutes later, he sat with his head in his hands, his eyes shut against the reality that was the mess of his life as Sirius leaned back in the booth, an empty plate in front of him.

"Wow," the shaggy-haired boy whistled as he studied the wizard in front of him. "I can't believe you stuck together as long as you did, honestly."

"She's a perfectly nice girl, Sirius." James defended from behind his hands as the weight of his newfound singleness hit him.

"But nice is _boring_. You'll never be happy with _nice_ , mate. You're too…" he searched for a word, "fervid."

James' eyes peeked from behind his now-spread fingers. "Did you just use the word 'fervid' in an actual sentence?"

"Shut up," Sirius laughed, breathily, his shoulders shaking in a genuine rhythm they hadn't adopted in awhile. James joined in with his own chuckles soon after. It was so bloody easy and simultaneously so bloody _painful_ how familiar it all felt.

Sirius' slip into posh vocabulary was a habit he had held since before he came to Hogwarts. The other Marauders consistently made fun of the bizarre speech patterns that resulted from years of etiquette classes as a child. Upon being sorted into Gryffindor, first-year Sirius had learned how to comb his vernacular to be more colloquial and less high-falutin, but it always appeared in random moments, much to the chagrin of Sirius and humour of the other boys.

 _Summer after First Year_

James heard the commotion before he saw it. From his cozy bed upstairs, he practically felt the familiar hiccup of the house that symbolised the use of the Potter Floo network. Of course, no one ever used the Floo this late at night (and it was of no importance that James had been up past his bedtime reading _Quidditch Through the Ages_. Who could blame a young wizard's determination to make the house team?).

He hopped out of bed and tip-toed toward the top of the stairs, hoping to catch a fragment of whatever important conversation was to be occurring between Fleamont Potter and whichever Ministry official saw a physical drop-by as necessary.

He _didn't_ expect to hear his mother talking in hushed tones to his newly acquired best mate from school.

"What's wrong, dear?"

"J-James said I could come here if I...wanted to."

James' eyes widened at the sound of Sirius' quivering voice.

"Well, of _course_ you can. Is...is everything okay?"

"Um...yes."

"Why don't you sit down right here and I'll go get James, hm? I'm Euphemia, by the way, James' mum."

"Okay. I'm...I'm Sirius. Sirius Black."

"Of course you are, dear."

James could hear the smile in his mother's voice before he heard her footsteps approaching the staircase. He raced back into his room and catapulted into his bed, pulling the covers over his head and trying his best to remain motionless as his mum creaked the door open and poked her head inside.

"James?" She moved toward him and placed her hand on his shoulder, shaking him ever-so-slightly.

He faked a yawn in what he believed to be an award-winning performance. "Hm?" he garbled, as if he hadn't been awake for the past four hours reading about the differences between blagging and blurting fouls.

"Your friend, Sirius, is downstairs, love. He just Floo'ed here."

A moment later, James was standing in the family room in front of his friend. Sirius blinked up at him with a nervous grin and tinge of red in his fair cheeks. "Hullo, Jamie. I...I wanted to see if you were up for a game of Gobstones?"

James blinked. "Gobstones?" It had to be well after _midnight_.

Sirius' countenance fell a bit, but he plowed on with a forced excitement. "Well, it's not very fun to play by yourself, see, and I...I couldn't fall asleep at my house so I thought-"

"Yes, yes, of course he'll play," Euphemia cut in with a flourish, pushing James toward Sirius on the couch.

"I will?" James questioned with wide eyes.

"As soon as I find our set." she replied, already turning to search the parlour. "Where'd you last play it, James?"

"Er...check the dining room maybe?"

Mrs. Potter hummed as she swept out of the room, leaving the two boys alone.

"You okay?"

"Mum…" The twelve-year-old took a breath. "We got in an argument."

"What kind of argument?" James probed, cautiously.

Sirius pulled up his shirt sleeve in response. James' eyes widened as he took in the red welp that served as evidence of a particularly nasty stinging jinx. There were small bits of dried blood caked around the outside of the wound and Sirius winced as he pushed his sleeve back down.

"It doesn't hurt that bad anymore. It just...I didn't want to stay there. And you said I could come over if I needed to..."

"Always, mate."

"Found them!" Euphemia's high voice broke through the room as she strutted back in, Gobstones set in hand.

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Sirius smiled, authentically, sitting up a little straighter. "Sorry I caused such a cacophony with the Floo."

"Caused such a _what_?" James cackled.

"A...a loud noise," Sirius quickly amended, his thing face reddening in humiliation.

"A _cacophononony."_ the bespectacled boy giggled into the couch cushion, as he struggled to stay upright.

Euphemia smiled wistfully at the boys as she wrapped her robe tighter around her body. "I'm going back to bed. You boys stay quiet so as not to wake up your father. He's got a busy day at work tomorrow, James. There are quilts and pillows in that closet there, Sirius, and you are welcome to sleep on the couch. We'll worry about your parents tomorrow, hm?"

The boys never did end up touching the Gobstones set. Within fifteen minutes of Euphemia's departure, they completely passed out on the couch, a mix of dangling limbs and careless closeness.

…

It was difficult to sit with Sirius at a booth and talk about girls and make fun of his vocabulary slips without remembering how damn _good_ things had been until last term. But then he remembered Remus' face and Sirius' laughter. The disinterest in anyone's needs except for his own and the innate desire to serve himself above others, demonstrated by that parsimonious conversation with Snape and near-disaster at the Whomping Willow.

They weren't twelve-year-olds escaping reality on a couch at the Potters' anymore.

"I should go."

"Right, yeah," Sirius said, blinking. "Of course."

"I…" James paused as he stood from the table. "I'm sorry to dump drama on you. I know you don't particularly care about the details of my life anymore, but I...appreciate you listening."

"James, I _do_ c-"

"Bye." James said, hurriedly, unable to hear the words he predicted would drip from Sirius' lips in that moment. He maintained a quick pace as he crossed the length of the pub and stepped out into the sunny afternoon, resolving to find Juniper.

…

Lily watched James slip out of the booth and leave Sirius in the Three Broomsticks. She'd been watching their interaction for the entire half-hour she'd been in the restaurant, so it was difficult to miss its abrupt ending.

She would never understand those boys. They obviously missed each other. The tension between them was humorously reminiscent of wayward exes who mutually wanted each other back. And like the wayward exes, the only thing stopping them was _pride_.

And _merlin_ did those boys have enough combined pride to suffocate the rest of the world. The entire situation was ridiculous and it killed Lily because she had no ideas on how to resolve it. Their new 'project' or whatnot seemed to be doing them a bit of good, Lily would often think when she would see them in a corner of the common room whispering back and forth. But then she would witness moments like this. Moments where Sirius watched his former friend walk away with a look so twistedly crestfallen that it shattered Lily's heart to pieces.

It was funny, because Lily wasn't sure when she had started to care so much about those stupid, stupid boys. Remus and Peter, too, truly. She doubted they even understood how invested she was in the both of them. Somewhere between the suggestive pick-up lines and smuggled in firewhiskey, her frowns had done some 180s.

"Earth to Evans." Mary's voice sliced through. "Are you even listening?"

"What?"

" _Lily_. Merlin, Anna just told an entire story and you didn't hear any of it, did you?" Mary sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm just...distracted."

Anna and Mary exchanged a look. "Lily," Anna began, reaching her hand across the table to grab Lily's, "are you ever going to talk about it with us?"

"We're your best mates. I think talking about it would be good! Make you feel better."

"I've talked about it plenty with Dumbledore. I'm _fine_ , girls."

Anna sighed. "We're not going to push you, Lils. But let us in sometime, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lily nodded with an appreciative smile. "Okay."

…

The thing about Hogsmeade on a Hogwarts weekend was that the village tripled in population. The small town basically consisted of two streets, adorned by a spattering of shops and eatery options. Outside of that, it was mostly residential.

Shoving a couple hundred students into those few buildings made navigation through them near impossible.

James gave up after almost an hour of popping into every potential store looking for Juniper. He collapsed onto a curb at the upper end of the main street in frustration, hearing a clank in his back pocket as his bum made contact with the cobblestone ground. He fumbled into his back pocket to extract the small mirror he had shoved in there this morning. It was his and June's main form of communication when they were with their individual mates and they had used it this morning to pick a meeting time and place for lunch. James bit his lip, wondering if it was insensitive to use the mirror to contact her now.

Taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair, he quietly murmured, "Juniper."

A moment later, June's face appeared on the small piece of glass. She looked tired and her mascara was smudged down her cheeks, which made James feel even _better_ about the situation, of course. He noted the brown headboard behind her head and maroon tattered wallpaper which meant she had gone straight back to the castle after their snappish 'lunch.'

"Hi." she said, quietly, rubbing furiously at her eyes to wipe away what she could of the make-up.

"I'm sorry." he began with genuinity. "I didn't...I should have never spoken to you like that. I got upset and my temper just...popped. I'm sorry."

She studied him through the small mirror for a moment, sniffling every few seconds. "It's okay," she said quietly. "I know how you feel about the war and everything and I...I should have expected a reaction like that."

"No, you shouldn't, because no one-much less our bloody _boyfriend_ -should ever speak to you like that. It's ridiculously disrespectful and I'm _sorry_."

"I know." she said after another moment of silence. "You're...you're not my _bloody boyfriend_ anymore...are you?" She managed to pull a watery half-smile at her own wit.

"I'm not...I'm not breaking up with you. That's stupid." he said firmly. "You didn't do anything wrong. We're just…"

"Different," she supplied, nodding through her renewed tears. "Yeah, I know."

"Different," he echoed, quietly.

"So we just...we're...done."

"We're done."

"I...I hope you don't think less of-"

"June, no." he jumped in, cutting her off. "You're an incredible witch and I still...I really _really_ care about you, okay?"

"You, too," she pulled another wet smile. "You're obnoxiously kind and...I...I want you to be happy."

"Thank you," he said, quietly, because there was really nothing else to say.

"You're going to save the world someday, James Potter," she grinned through her tears. "I _know_ it."

He chuckled. "That's ambitious."

"I'll be cheering you on, always. Just...from the sidelines."

"From the sidelines," he nodded, trying the words out. "I reckon you make a pretty good cheerleader."

"Well, I've had enough practice since the tosser of a Quidditch captain didn't put me _on_ the bloody team."

"Juniper Alessio, we are literally _breaking up_ and you just pulled the Quidditch card again." he said, incredulously through his loud laughter.

"I gotta get points where I can." she grinned innocently. "Will the searing image of my tear-stricken face as you break my heart play in your head next year during try-outs?"

"Improve your dive accuracy and we'll see."

"Aye aye, Captain."

His grin slowly fell as he fidgeted in thought, running his finger over the sharp edge of the mirror. "Am I...am I actually breaking your heart?" he asked, with a bid of timidity.

She pulled another half-smile. "No. I think I...knew this was coming. We get along great and I think we make a good team, but we just...we're just…"

"Different," he finished, this time, with a small smile.

"I'll see ya around?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Bye, James."

"Bye, Junie."

And with another close-mouthed smile, her face dissolved from the mirror, leaving only James' hazel eyes staring back at him.

…

"What are you doing up so late?"

Lily jumped as she exited the staircase into the common room. It was after midnight and she'd agreed to study with the girls in the library early the next morning, but she found herself unable to go to sleep, like most nights recently. She had accepted the circles under her eyes as permanent residents to her otherwise pale face.

As she laid on her side, wide awake, listening to the rustling and snoring sounds coming from her mates' beds, her eye caught the small box that Scrivenshaft had given her and she resolved to go to the common room and see if Sirius was up (as he usually was). They had ended a little weird at the Three Broomsticks after her panic attack and so it would be a good thing to talk and smooth things over. Not that Sirius was one to hold a grudge, but it would help Lily's heart be less burdened.

Ulteriorly, giving Sirius James' box forced the two boys to interact and Lily was _all_ about encouraging that.

She didn't expect to find James himself sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands and a small mirror in his lap.

"Oh, I...I was actually hoping one of you would be up."

"One of us?"

"Boys...Marauders."

James grinned at her word choice. "How did that feel?"

"Like I need to _scourgify_ my mouth." she retorted, sweetly. "I needed to get this to you."

"A present?" His eyes lit up.

"Not from me, git." She laughed. "Scrivenshaft."

"Mrs. Scrivenshaft got me a present?" He still looked thoroughly perplexed.

"Well, no. It's that package you ordered. She said you'd know what it was when I gave it to you?"

"Well, I _don't_." he insisted, tearing the lid off the box and peering inside. He looked inside the box for a moment with furrowed eyebrows before looking back up and snapping the box closed, his cheeks suspiciously redder than they had been before.

"What's in it?" she probed, her curiosity peaked by his peculiar reaction.

"Nothing important. Just some...quills."

"Quills." she echoed, unimpressed and disbelieving.

"Yes!" he said defensively, hugging the box toward him like a four-year-old. "I have very particular taste when it comes to...quills."

"You got her to send off for personalised quills?" Lily snorted. " _God_ , you're a prat."

"I'm just _specific_ , Evans."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes falling back onto the couch. He watched her apprehensively, his arms still securely wrapped around the box. "I told you why I was down here. What about you? Isn't there Quidditch practice tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, there is. I just...couldn't sleep." He set the box on the floor, _away from Lily_ , and pressed his leg against it so he could feel if someone tried to take it.

"Neither could I." she said with a yawn.

James laughed at her jarbled words. "You seem pretty ready to conk out, in my opinion."

"Tell my brain." she murmured, her eyes closed as she leaned back on the sofa.

"Let her sleep," he instructed her head in a mock stern voice, poking her forehead for emphasis. "She needs her rest if she wants even the slightest chance at placing above me in DADA on Monday."

One of Lily's eyes popped open to glare at him. "I don't need my rest to place above you, thank you. That duel is going to be first-year stuff."

"Yeah, but it's not about the actual spells, is it? All about _speed,_ and I'm sorry, Evans, but have you _seen_ me on the Quidditch pitch?"

She snorted, settling back into the couch. "Throwing balls around a field is hardly going to assist you with counter-jinxes."

"From your place as president of the _Charms club_ , I can see how easy it must be look down on little ol' Quidditch captain me."

"You lot lost against _Ravenclaw_."

"You _heard about that_?" he said, outrage making his voice jump half an octave.

"James, I'm a member of Gryffindor house. It wasn't difficult to ask someone how the Quidditch game went." she pointed out. "Well, that...and Ben was pretty excited to tell me."

"The betrayal," he pouted. "Tell your pal _Ben_ that they only won because our sodding Seeker decided it was a good day for _food poisoning._ Tell me how _one guy_ gets food poisoning when we all eat the same bloody food!"

 _Well, that...and I cancelled five practices because I was worried about you_.

"Sounds like an excuse to me." she smiled from her place among the cushions, not bothering to open her eyes.

"I think I hate you."

"Why are you holding a mirror?"

"Well, aren't you Miss Curious tonight?"

"If you want some privacy so you can keep swooning over yourself, just say the words, Potter. You _were_ here first, so I'm terribly sorry if I interrupted your wanki-"

" _OKAY_. It's...it's a two-way mirror."

Lily's eyes opened at this. "Really?" She scrambled to sit up on the couch and scooted closer toward him. "Can I see?"

"Sure," he said, passing it toward her.

"How does it work?"

"Well," James began, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "you have to say the name of the person who has the other mirror."

" _Sirius_." Lily tried, smiling with anticipation as she waited for the dark-haired boy to appear on the small mirror.

"No, no," James said, grabbing for the piece of glass again. "It's...not him."

"Oh," Lily said in understanding, clasping her hands together in her lap. "You know, before I...left...there was a bit of a spat between you two. Juniper, I mean. About the Quidditch practice on your birthday? I feel awful about that and I don't think I ever really apologised, so I'm...sorry."

"Well, we broke up."

She sputtered in shock. " _Oh my God._ Because of that?! James, I am _so_ -"

"No!" he cut in, quickly, noting the horror in her big eyes. "It was for...other stuff."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but...it's all right. We...we both agreed that it should happen."

There was a moment of silence before Lily spoke again, "I'm sorry. Break-ups suck. But...I know she really cared about you."

"Yeah," James sighed, leaning back into the couch as a hand traveled to his hair. "I know."

The two teenagers collapsed into silence. Lily didn't know what to say, because consoling someone over a broken relationship was difficult enough and the fact that it was _James Potter_ , made the situation near-impossible. It was strange to consider that this was the boy who had asked her out so many times during their fourth and fifth year. It had become a game, his pick-up lines and her rejections. An exhausting game that she certainly never signed up for...but a game. To see him with tired eyes and his head in his hands because of a _girl_ was weird, especially considering Lily had never once considered the boy's emotions when it was _her_ doing the rejecting. But there he was...so human. And Lily would be lying if her heart didn't hurt a little for him.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're ridiculously honest?"

He pulled his head out of his hands to look at her "Huh?"

"I didn't ask you to tell me all that. About Juniper." She gestured loosely with her fingers. "But you did anyway. And...you just have no shame about your emotions or how you're feeling. It's kind of jarring."

"I'm...sorry?"

" _No_ , it's not a bad thing. It just...takes some getting used to." She chewed on the inside of her cheek. "You don't even really know me." she added, quietly.

He continued to study her in silence.

"It's like...for five years, you just messed with me and bothered me. And I know we've been around and around the bend on that and I'm not trying to start something by mentioning it because I know that...in some ways-and I'm not even sure exactly what ways...but you're different. But you _were_ a prick to me. Always. And then, after last year, you just disappeared. Didn't speak to me, didn't look at me, and now...you're telling me about how you and your girlfriend broke-up. I mean, God, the first night I came over here to ask about your parents and Auror stuff, you gave me a whole Potter Family history lesson."

He continued to look at her.

"I just...what are you expecting me to say? I don't have the same emotional capacity as you. I don't...I don't _feel_ like you do. And sometimes, when you talk to me, I get," she took a shaky breath, "honestly, I get overwhelmed, Potter." She looked up from her hands, shaking her head and meeting his steady gaze. "I barely share personal things with my best mates. How is it so easy for you to talk about these things with...with _me_?"

One side of his mouth raised in the most tender of smiles, as if she were a small Muggle child that had just discovered Santa Clause isn't real. "You overthink things, Evans."

"Well you…" she frowned, searching for a retort, "you over _feel_ , Potter."

"Yeah, probably." he agreed, with a nod.

Her nose scrunched in discomfort at how _at ease_ he was. It wasn't fair and it _didn't make sense._ "I don't understand you."

"That's okay."

"You're...really emotional."

"Yep."

She sighed, her accusations and observations exhausted for the time being.

The other corner of his mouth raised to meet its counterpart. "You should try to sleep, Evans."

Lily nodded, pulling herself off the couch with difficulty. "The same goes for you."

"I think I'll take the couch for the night, rather than wake the lads up stumbling in there now."

She stared down at him, her arms crossed against her chest. It was now or never. "He slept down here for a _month_ , you know."

"Wh-"

"Sirius. He was bloody miserable, but everytime I asked him about it, he just blew me off and told me that whatever was going on...he deserved the way you were treating him."

"He d-"

"I'm not finished," she said sharply. "I let him get away with that rubbish because I thought maybe he did something truly atrocious. And honestly, I couldn't have cared less about him at that point. But now I know the truth about that night at the Whomping Willow and Snape and all of that and...y'know what? It _was_ truly atrocious. But now that I know that, I also know _Sirius_. And you continuing to treat him like he's shit on the bottom of your shoe is pathetic."

James swallowed.

"I don't know what your deal is, but you need to get the hell over yourself, Potter. I...I meant what I said. You're different than...you used to be. But you continue to treat Sirius the way you've _been_ treating him and I promise that I will ruin your pretty life."

"My life is _not_ pretty, Evans."

"I don't bloody care, _Potter_. Sirius Black is the most angsty, dramatic, ridiculous wizard in this whole damn castle and Merlin knows he's got a laundry list of personal problems. But he's an incredible human being and doesn't deserve to keep feeling like he has to...do penance or some rubbish like that to earn your graces. Stop acting like a sodding _child_ and forgive that idiot mate of yours." She took an extended frustrated sigh, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Good night."

…

James watched Lily disappear up the stairs feeling...well honestly, a _lot_ of different emotions. But now was _not_ the time to 'overfeel,' as she had so eloquently put it, and he would worry about the implications of Lily's rant tomorrow...or the next day.

He kicked his trainers off, stuffing them under the flap of the couch, before grabbing Scrivenshaft's small box. He took a paranoid scan of the room before removing the lid once again.

The box was completely empty, save for a quick scribbled note in the familiar shaky cursive of the quill shop owner.

 _JP,_

 _Why aren't you dating this girl? Put that charm to good use for once. She's adorable and obviously into you. Write me if you need tips._

 _Chauncey Scrivenshaft_

...

 **As always, please leave a review with what you think! I appreciate each of you so much! xoxo**

 **Abi**

oh, and also follow me on tumblr if you want to be friends. my name is giggles-and-freckles and you'll know it's me because I'm the only jily blog with Sirius and Lily as the avi because we all know that I am more obsessed with Sirius and Lily's friendship than I am her relationship with James hehe oops


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Been a while, sorry! But the next few chapters have been a bit of a doozy for me and I wanted to get them right. Enjoy!**

 **...**

"Potter!"

"Soares. How's it going?" James regarded the tall Ravenclaw with a chin-up gesture as he continued his quick pace toward Transfiguration. Being top of the class did _not_ excuse him from Minnie's wrath and he didn't fancy a detention this weekend (well, at least not on top of the one Flitwick had already bestowed upon him for a conveniently levitated toad being ceremoniously dropped atop Hank Atwood's head).

Ben matched James' long strides, easily, siding up next to him. "All right. Listen, do you have a minute?"

James shot a curt look toward the wizard. "Honestly? No."

The seventh-year's face faltered. "Okay...well, find me at lunch, yeah?"

"Sure," James said quickly with a careless shake of his head as he dipped into the Transfiguration classroom.

…

"He was cleared, y'know," Mary's voice softly interrupted Lily's guarded stare across the Great Hall.

The redhead blinked, looking at her friend in confusion. "What?"

Mary nodded her head toward the Slytherin table. "Snape. He didn't have a part in the attack. Dumbledore questioned him in his office for hours as soon as you went to St. Mungo's."

"Oh," Lily said, quietly. "I wasn't-"

"Lily. You're my best mate." the taller girl said with a half-smile and a quirked eyebrow. "Don't feed me bullshit when there's a whole table of sandwiches I can eat, yeah?"

Lily laughed, nodding with a quick, "Yeah." before she shot one more quick gaze at the green-and-gold table.

It would be a lie for Lily not to admit to her own relief in knowing Severus was innocent. Deep down, she'd known that he was. It was dangerous to dwell on what he _was_ willing to do in the name of dark magic, but directly threatening Lily's life was something she had full confidence in him avoiding unless absolutely necessary. Their friendship had been over for several months now, but Lily _knew_ that he regarded the last six years of their life in a similar manner to her.

Nostalgic and lachrymose.

She had barely cast a thought toward the note that led her to the lake that night. As soon as she woke up in the hospital, she didn't doubt the faux nature of it. It was obviously a forgery charm and she was the stupid one to not see through it. What worried her more about the whole incident, what _really_ kept her up at night, was her subsequent conversation with Dumbledore.

Sev was a Death Eater.

It shouldn't have shocked her as much as it did because she knew it's what he'd been hoping to be. Even before the deterioration of their relationship, she'd been harbouring suspicions of such. When the moments presented themselves (and often when they didn't), Lily had no qualms about sharing her opinions on the matter. Snape was a professional deflector, though, and a straight answer hadn't been in his arsenal in a good long while. When things came to blows by the lake after the DADA O.W.L. last year, he stopped even trying. It had caught up with him. The lies, the bigotry, the _darkness._

But hearing the words actually fall out of Dumbledore's mouth...hearing them bounce around in her own _head_ , like a broken pinball machine, infinitely rebounding and reverberating...it was different. _Real_. And it _hurt_.

God, it hurt.

…

"Hey, Potter, you busy?" Ben swung a leg over the Gryffindor bench, straddling the wood as he plopped down next to James.

James turned his sandwich-stuffed face to take the Ravenclaw in. "What's up, Ben?" he mumbled around his food.

"Well, er...Luke...Luke Wilder that is, he's in Ravenclaw with me? We wanted to talk to you about something." He gestured toward the Ravenclaw table where a lanky blonde boy was seated, Ben's apparent vacant spot next to him.

"I'm...kind of eating lunch, mate." James frowned in mild irritation.

"Right, right," Ben nodded understandingly, "of course!" He slapped his hands in what James supposed was intended to be a friendly manner, but still shook the pumpkin juice pitchers from the sheer force of the hit. "Well, I'll...if you have some time to talk today, let me know, okay? It's important."

James nodded, slowly, returning to his sandwich.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked, from his seat across the table, as the Ravenclaw returned to his own table.

"Don't know," James shrugged, taking another bite. "He's been trying to get me alone all day."

"He said it was important." Remus probed, eyebrows drawn together.

"It's probably Quidditch stuff."

"Luke Wilder doesn't play Quidditch," Peter pointed out, reaching across James for an apple.

"Well, whatever," James said with another up-down of his shoulders, "I'll talk to him later, if I get the chance."

Remus narrowed his eyes, suspiciously, sitting back on the bench. "I thought you liked Ben."

"I do like Ben." James said, hurriedly.

"You invited him to your dueling club, right?" Peter asked.

James gave an irritated sigh as he took a sip of pumpkin juice. "Yeah, so?"

"Does your coldness have anything to do with _that_?" Remus asked through raised eyebrows, pointing discreetly down the table.

James' own eyebrows furrowed in confusion until he craned his neck to see where Remus was pointing. And then...well, his eyebrows dropped quite low, in all honesty.

"They look cosy." Peter chortled, lowly.

"Shut up, Wormtail." James said through tight lips.

Ben was hovering above and behind Lily, one hand was affectionately grasping her shoulder as he used his other hand to sweep the hair away from her left ear. His forehead rested on her temple as he whispered something to her. Her eyebrows were raised in attention and the ghost of a smile flitted across her lips.

 _Merlin_ , he hated that guy.

"So we're back to Jealous James, are we?"

"I'm not _jealous_. He's just been bugging me today is all." James defended with a pout.

" _Right_ ," Remus snorted, returning to his sandwich.

James' head snapped back toward Lily as he heard a giggle burst from her lips in a tingley sort of melody. Ben squeezed her shoulder and walked...no, _strutted_...back to the Ravenclaw table.

 _Really, really hated._

…

"What was _that_ all about?" Anna demanded, lagoon blue eyes wide as saucers.

"Bloody hell, Evans. You've got more game than I thought!" Mary contributed.

" _Christ_ , I wish he'd shag me," Marlene whimpered.

McCall remained silent, picking at her food, tepidly.

Lily sighed in exasperation. "It was nothing. He just-"

" _Nothing_ ," Mary squawked, incredulously. "Ben Soares, also known as the _fittest_ guy at Hogwarts just ravished your neck and you dare throw the word _nothing_ in our desperate, little faces?"

Anna nodded, vigorously. "Throw us some skin, Evans!"

"A _bone_. It's _throw us a bone_ , not throw us some _skin_ , you pureblood pillock." Lily snorted. "And he did not _ravish_ my neck, Mary. He was just telling me something."

"Yeah, probably the details of how he's going to _ravish_ the rest of your body later," Mary muttered, twirling a lock of hair around her fingers dreamily.

"Get a grip, woman. There will be no _ravishing_ today. It was prefect stuff, really."

"Prefect stuff," Marlene echoed, looking rather unimpressed. "Right, of course. _Prefect stuff_."

"It was!" Lily insisted, indignantly. "He was asking if I knew whether the prefect meeting was tonight or tomorrow night and then made a comment about the Snogging Bandits who have been escaping prefects for three weeks now. That's all it was, _honest_."

Mary narrowed her eyes, studying Lily. "All right...if you say so."

…

"What's he even want with her anyway?" James whined half an hour later as they exited the Great Hall. Remus and Peter groaned as they listened to their friend continue to drone on, making his thirtieth vocal complaint about Ben Soares' quick interaction with Lily, who he was self-proclaimed _not jealous of._ His pretense of indifference had not lasted long.

"They're not in the same house. They're not in the same year. What reason do they have to talk? What reason do they have to _giggle_?"

"How do we make it stop?" Peter muttered to Remus as they attempted to block out the bespectacled Marauder.

" _Jesus_ , I wish I knew." Remus replied, rubbing at his temples. He pulled Peter's arm to signal that they should fall back and allow James his space. "It's fifth year all over again."

"Did you see him touch her neck? What a _creep_ , honestly." He had apparently not noticed the absence of his mates from his side. "And I'm pretty sure he called her _Lils._ Everyone knows she _hates_ that. It's so glaringly obvious that he's only after one thing and if he thinks that she is daft enough to-"

" _Prongs_." Peter's uncharacteristically firm voice halted James' gait and soliloquy. "You've gotta shut up, mate. I've got a Muggle Studies exam this afternoon and I can't take this whinging any longer. Either relapse into your Lily-stunted adolescence or get _over yourself_. She's not even that _pretty_ , for Merlin's sake." He released a long breath, obviously winded from his monologue.

James blinked in surprise at the pudgy wizard.

Peter clapped James on the shoulder, offering a conciliatory, "S'alright, mate." before he walked ahead of the other two. James' neck swiveled slowly toward Remus who just lifted a befuddled shoulder and a quick, "For the record...I...I think she's pretty.", before hurrying to catch up with Peter.

…

The truth of the matter was that Lily knew there _was_ more to her interaction with Ben. Interaction _s_ was probably more like it. In the two weeks since the incident by the lake, the seventh-year Ravenclaw had been particularly clingy. At first, Lily suspected he was just interested in hearing what had happened or even, best case, in checking in on how she was doing.

After he asked her to Hogsmeade a mere week after her return to Hogwarts, however, she grew suspicious. He insisted the offer was so she'd have a 'friendly face,' but she wasn't sure if friendship was the exact end-all-be-all to his proposition. He seemed to find various excuses to touch her lately, be it a hand on a shoulder, touching her hair, grabbing her hand.

Benjamin Soares was _incredibly_ attractive. That observation didn't require a genius. He had broad shoulders and a naturally muscular build. His three years on the Quidditch team only reinforced the chiseled structure of his physique. His eyes were a cool blue, which starkly contrasted his jet black hair in the sort of shocking way that made girls generally lose their wits when around him.

In fact, in second year, Lily had held a massive crush for the boy. He was a year older and the two never _really_ interacted, but she always saw him around the castle and swooned over his easy smile, which he freely lended out to whoever he interacted with.

Lily tried to remind herself of this as she considered his apparent new affections for her. She should be _pleased_. He was gorgeous, and incredibly kind, not to mention intelligent, charming, and laid-back. Even as Lily attempted to beat these truths into her own heart, she felt the disconnect. For whatever reason, it just wouldn't...stick.

…

"POTTER!"

James froze, withholding an audible groan. He'd been _caught_ , damn it.

"James, wait up!"

Where was the blasted invisibility cloak when you needed it.

"I'm waiting, I'm waiting," James called, pulling a neutral face as he turned toward the two approaching Ravenclaws. "Hello, lads."

"Potter," Ben repeated, catching his breath as he finally came to a stop in front of James. "Merlin, we've been chasing you for twenty minutes. How the bloody hell did you get from the Potions classroom to over here so fast?"

"I'm...er athletic," James replied easily, feeling the bulge of the quickly folded Marauder's Map in his back pocket.

"Right," the Ravenclaw waved off. "Well, anyway, Luke has something he needs to talk to you about and...I think you'll find it important. It has to do with Lily."

James' body went rigid at the seventh-year's words, his fake smile sliding into a thin line. "I'm not interested in what you have to say about Lily, actually-"

"It's Olivia. She…" Luke Wilder interrupted, speaking up for the first time as he leaned in closer to James and dropped his voice, "She sent me a letter."

…

"So, we've got a new plan."

"Of _course_ we do."

"Your lack of faith in our marauding skills is quite sad, Wormtail."

"What's the plan?"

"Glad you asked, Moony," James grinned. "I just had a nice little chat with our dear Ravenclaw mates Benjamin Soares and-

Remus snorted, loudly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are we friends with him again? I guess I got a bit lost between the _what a creep, honestly_ and _our dear Ravenclaw mate_."

"Oi!"

"What do you have against Soares?" Sirius wanted to know, shifting on the bed to look over at James.

"Nothing," James huffed in frustration, raising his hands to return order to their planning meeting. "It doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is that we now have a fool-proof, _brilliant_ plan."

"Continue," Peter rolled his eyes at the dramatics he had grown accustomed to observing.

"Olivia Magnus sent Luke Wilder a letter."

Remus' eyes widened. "But she's-"

"I _know_."

"And she's-" Peter added.

"I _know_."

"So that means-"

"Yep." James said, smugly, resting his head on the headboard of Peter's bed in contentment.

"Merlin." Sirius sighed.

The four boys sat in silence for a moment, each thinking of the implications of this information. The Lost Gryffindor-Olivia Magnus-had made contact with the _real world_. Her boyfriend, in fact. The entire situation was a bit dodgy and a great deal of questions were still left unanswered, but Olive's letter couldn't have come at a more convenient time. It provided the exact information needed to finalise the boys' plan to get back at the Slytherins for what they did to Lily.

…

"Knock, knock!" Lily's voice rang as she stepped into the boys' dorm doorway a few days later. It was Remus who looked up from where he had been reading a book stretched across his bed.

"Lily! Hullo," he offered a pleasant smile, marking his page and sitting up. "Everything all right?"

"Great, is...Sirius here?"

"Bathroom," he motioned toward the lavatory where the sound of a shower could be heard. "Need something?"

Lily shook her head, moving to sit in the desk chair by the window. "No, but Divination got cancelled for this morning, so he's helping me with my Transfiguration." She picked up a stray book lying on the desk and thumbed through, lazily.

"You got Sirius to tutor you? Impressive."

"He's not _tutoring_ me," Lily scoffed with an insolent frown. Her fingers traced over the messy annotations that curled up and down the margins of the book. "I just need... _motivation_."

"Ah, of course," Remus grinned.

"Is this your book?" she asked, squinting as she attempted to decipher the careless hieroglyphics.

"Nah, those are all James'," he said, motioning toward the pile that covered the desk and continued in a stack on the floor.

"Oh," Lily replied, taken aback by this fact. "Does...does he always write in the margins like this?"

"Every time. Never seen someone vandalise a book so fast, I swear."

 _I have_ , Lily thought. It was strange, this newfound connection between Severus and James.

"'Ello, love!" a crisp voice called as the bathroom door swung open, revealing a towel clad Sirius.

" _Sirius,_ " Remus said harshly. "Put some _clothes_ on, dammit."

"On behalf of _Lovely Lily_?" Sirius laughed abrasively, continuing to walk into the bedroom unashamed of the low-hanging towel tied off at his waist. "Evans is one of the boys, isn't that right, Ginge?" He flipped his head toward the floor and ran a small towel over it before snapping back up and shaking it like a dog, coating Remus-who unfortunately had the bed closest to the lavatory-in water droplets.

"I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" he yelled. Lily couldn't help but grin as she noticed him subtly slide his book under the covers in what she knew was an attempt at protecting the novel. She would have done the same thing.

Sirius laughed, loudly, dropping the small towel to the floor and walking toward his trunk.

"I'm not picking that up," Remus muttered, darkly.

"You and I both know that's a load of shit. Thanks in advance, Moony dear."

Lily smiled watching the interaction. There was such a light air about the boys' room that she envied. Things with her own roommates, especially Mary and Anna, had been a little off for most of the term, but since the attack by the lake, it was generally easier to avoid them than it was to engage in genuine conversation.

It surprised her to see Sirius and Remus so comfortable with each other, but she had a dark feeling that had something to do with James' absence.

"I got a new tattoo, did I tell you that, Ginge?" Sirius said, as he knelt to rummage through his trunk for clothes. He turned around and rose to his full height again, walking toward Lily as she pretended to not notice the boxers he was now holding freely in his hands. "Look!" He turned his right shoulder into her to proudly display a freshly inked paragraph of illegible markings.

"What does that even say?" she frowned, studying the writing.

"No bloody clue," he grinned widely, pulling his shoulder back. "But looks wicked, yeah?"

" _Stupid_ ," Remus amended from across the room.

"Lily, love, do you think they'll still send me to Azkaban for murder if I tell them my victim once made me sit through an hour lecture on the proper pronunciation of _sherbet_?" Sirius drawled, not looking at the werewolf.

"Go to hell."

Lily giggled. "Put your clothes on and grab your books. The weather is beautiful, we're going outside."

"I'm great with all of that, except one teensy detail. How about we skip the books and just take it easy?"

" _Sirius_."

"Hey," he said, raising his hands innocently. "I _wanted_ to argue for no clothes, either, but I figured I would choose my battles."

"Hurry up, tosser."

With an indignant huff, he disappeared back into the bathroom.

…

Peter and James had been hiding in a broom closet for an hour and tensions were high. The smaller boy had _sworn_ the early morning would be worth James' while. He had apparently found the exact passage they needed for Dick the Dickheads, but when he managed to convince James to come check it out, the two narrowly missed a snag by Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the caretaker's crabby cats. They weren't doing anything inherently _wrong_ , but if Filch disliked the way James had tucked in his _shirt_ , they'd be in trouble.

"This _sucks,_ Wormtail." James whined, leaning his head against the door miserably

"He should be gone soon," Peter whispered, nervously, wiping at his forehead.

"His dot hasn't moved in a bloody _hour_. And it's _hot_. No offense, mate, but your sweat smells."

"Thanks, Prongs."

"It's not even on the map, Pete. Is this worth it?"

"It's not on the map because we've never _found_ it before. I know it'll work, Prongs. It's exactly what we've been looking for. I did it!"

"And we're all so jolly and happy for you, Wormtail, but _Merlin_ , this is the worst."

As if the Map...or Filch...heard them, his dot chose that exact moment to move in the opposite direction of their hiding place.

"Oh, thank Merlin."

Peter rolled his eyes as he scrambled to a standing position. "Let's go."

James followed his porky friend as they crept out of the closet and lanked across the corridor. Peter deserved more credit than he was often given for his litheness and ability to manoeuvre around the turns and twists of this mostly-unmapped territory of the castle.

All of a sudden, Peter stopped walking and held up a hand to quiet James who had just _oomph_ ed as he abruptly rammed into Peter's back. "It's right here," Peter murmured, getting down all fours. James looked both ways to make sure no one was around to witness Peter turn into his Animagus form, but before he had even checked the other side, Peter was standing back up, a small dice in his hand.

"What is-"

"It's the trigger. Hidden in that mouse hole." He gestured toward a tiny chewed out piece of wall near the ground. Then, he threw it to the ground and leaned down to investigate the number. "Four."

"What does that mean?"

"Four bricks over. Roll it again."

James did. "Two."

"Two bricks up." He knelt back toward the ground and grazed his hand across four bricks, before tracing up two and then pausing. "Get ready."

"Get-AHHHHHH."

The boys hit the floor with a simultaneous thud, James rolling clumsily over Peter. "Sorry, mate," he groaned, scrambling to stand upright. "It's…"

"A trapdoor." Peter grinned, pointing toward the faint skylight above them which was the only evidence that they had ever been above ground. The lengthy (and dusty) slide deposited them onto a bed of soil and rocks. "If you take that staircase," he motioned toward the left," you come out right behind Greenhouse One. Take that one," he moved his hand again, "and you're by Greenhouse Four which…"

"Is right by the Black Lake." James finished quietly. "Bloody hell."

"Told you."

…

"Clever move, Ginge."

Lily grinned, proudly. "I have to admit it's my new favourite spot."

"Well, you can't have it. It's mine."

"That's not fair. You can only have one lake and the other one is already called the _Black Lake_. So I'd really like this one to be Evans."

"I'd agree to this decision in a heartbeat if only the name _Evans_ wasn't so damn stupid."

"God, I hate you." she laughed, collapsing onto the grass.

Sirius followed after her, tossing the book-laden bag at his feet and shoving it toward her with a frown. "Well, go on. Pull out what we need. Better go ahead and get started and die quickly."

"Did I say I hated you?" Lily cooed. "What I meant was I _love_ you, Sirius Black. You're my God-given _hero_. How _ever_ will I pay you?" She batted her eyelashes for good measure.

"You can start by blinking like a normal human. Why is your handwriting rubbish?" he groaned, looking at the parchment as she pulled it out. He regarded the notes with repulsion, nose scrunched and grey eyes shut against the atrocity.

"My penmanship is exemplary!"

"But it's _cursive_ ," he whined.

"What, did the poor Black family heir not get tutored in _cursive_?" she pouted, mockingly.

"The poor Black family heir was too concerned with getting crucioed for doodling on my parchment, thank you very much." he laughed, grabbing for the parchment.

Lily froze in her unpacking of the schoolbag, looking up at Sirius' neutral face. She paused before speaking, studying his face for any trace of emotion. She swallowed, deeply, unsure whether to ignore the comment or press on it. "Was that...Sirius, was that a joke?"

"Of course not, I drew some damn good-"

"Sirius." she said, firmly, her eyes softening as she took in his tired face.

He sighed. "Mum gave the tutor free range for discipline and it got out of hand sometimes."

"Oh my God." She felt goosebumps erupt on her arms as her stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot. "Sirius, that's...that's awful. I knew it wasn't sunshine and daisies, but I had...no idea." Her words were coming out slower than she intended, but the thought of pre-Hogwarts Sirius being tortured for misbehaving was enough to make her vomit.

"Yeah, well I don't like to dwell on it." His mouth twitched as he moved his neck in discomfort. "I survived it, didn't I? No real scars."

"Not visible ones anyway," Lily whispered, softly, still staring at him as if could crack open at any moment.

"I'm _fine_ , Evans, really." he poked her shoulder good-naturedly and dipped his head to make sure she noticed his big smile. "See? Still perfectly charming and tragically handsome."

She reached her thumb out to trace his chin. He seemed surprised by the contact, but didn't move, choosing to meet her curious eye contact, bravely. His silver eyes pierced her own green ones, betraying a hundred emotions and memories of his childhood. It was a rare moment of vulnerability between the usual snarky comments and dark humour that Lily felt she wasn't quite deserving of.

"I think you're the most interesting person I've ever met, Sirius Black."

…

"We found it!" James called triumphantly as he entered the boys' dorm.

"Well, _I_ found it, actually," Peter muttered, trailing behind him.

Remus did a last tighten of his scarlet-and-gold tie and glanced at the teenagers, casually. "Found _what_ exactly?"

"Our loophole."

"Ah."

"It's perfect, Moony. Empties right out onto the grounds." James said, excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Only one we've found that doesn't just stay within the castle or connect all the way to Hogsmeade."

"Shouldn't you two be getting in your robes? Class starts in twenty minutes."

" _Remus._ We haven't pulled a stunt in forever. This is going to be great." James whined.

"This isn't a _stunt,_ James!" the werewolf fired back, snapping his neck toward the bespectacled boy. "I don't know how many different ways to say it before you'll understand. These are lives. Real, human _lives_. And you prance about like this is some first-year prank."

James opened his mouth to respond, but Remus plowed on.

"You need to let _Dumbledore_ handle this, I've said it a million times. We're practically kids, James, and you're wanting to try and take on full Death Eaters? Are you-"

James' eyes darkened, dangerously. "Take it to Dumbledore?" he demanded incredulously. "So he can expel some more Slytherins? Bloody good that does! You think I don't understand the implications here? Hell yeah, we're _kids._ But that didn't stop them from wanting to kill Olivia or from almost succeeding in killing Lily!" He stepped toward Remus, demanding the taller boy's attention. "You didn't see her in the hospital wing that night. You want to talk about death, Lupin? Because I've basically seen it."

"So is that all this is?" Remus demanded, using his height to his advantage as he met James' dark energy inch for inch. "A personal vendetta because of _Lily_?"

"Why is that such a bad thing?!"

"Because I can never bloody tell if you're thinking with your head or your _dick_ when it comes to her, Prongs!"

James isn't quite sure in what exact moment he made the decision to punch his friend, but an ache in his knuckles was followed by stark red leaking from Remus' nose. The werewolf's icy blue eyes darkened as James' own hazel ones widened in surprise at his own action.

"I-"

Remus shoved roughly past him, billowing out the door and down the stairs.

…

"Any pet. Go."

"Dog."

"Try again," Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius' not-so-subtle nod toward his Animagus.

Sirius laughed, loudly, as he rolled over onto his back. "Fine. Fish."

" _Fish_?"

"They're easy. You don't even have to feed them."

"Sirius, you still have to feed a fish."

He paused, looking at Lily as if he had just learned something miraculous. "Oh."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never had a fish, Sirius Black."

He laughed again. "I've never had a fish, Lily Evans."

"Now look me in the eyes and promise me you will never _get_ one."

He afforded her a smile before tugging one of her braids. "Why do girls _do_ this? Knot your hair all up."

"It's a _plait_ , and your hair is literally almost as long as mine, so don't act like I'm an extraordinary species."

"I'm thinking of cutting it." he said casually, as if this wasn't groundbreaking news.

"What?" she squawked, snapping her head toward him.

He shifted, placing his hands behind his head as he looked up at the overcast sky. "Yeah, feels like time for a change."

"Wow."

"Wow," he agreed.

"May I ask what _prompted_ this change?"

"No, you may not." He grinned, closing his eyes to soak in the radiating sun beams.

"Ever cryptic," she sighed, rolling her own eyes. "I hope you know we have class in twelve minutes and haven't done a single Transfiguration problem."

"No, Ginge, _you_ haven't done a single Transfiguration problem. I finished my work last night."

"You _twat_!" she cried, blowing her hair out of her face. "I thought we were going to do it together!"

"When have we _ever_ actually gotten any work done when we plan for that?"

"When have you _ever_ actually cared whether your work got done or not?"

"So are we skipping Transfiguration or are you taking the T?"

"Skipping." she sighed, falling back onto the ground.

He clicked his tongue. "I can't believe I used to think you were a reputable student."

"Go to hell, Black."

…

Timing was an interesting concept. As James lay on his bed, his eyes studying the wrinkles of the maroon tapestry that hung around his bedposts, he got lost in his appreciation for the abstract gift that time had just dropped into his lap.

After all, time had been known to work unfavourably for many a man. People rushed to and fro their homes and workplaces, attempting to beat time at its own game and not miss things of importance. Others watched the clock like a hawk as they scarfed down a sandwich, ensuring that time did not run out before their short lunch break was complete. Even still, some were unfortunate enough to walk into an unfortunate situation at just the wrong moment, cursing their poor timing and the burden that came with it.

For James Potter, however, time seemed to be playing nicely.

Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier had been expelled. Wonderful, fantastic, _bloody brilliant._ Somewhere deep down, James knew this was really the most severe course of action Dumbledore could have taken. The boys were, legally, still underage, so Azkaban was out of the picture. Even if they were out of school, the likelihood of them getting more than a gentle rap on the wrist was low, what with the frantic chaos of the justice system since Voldemort's rise to power.

But they almost _killed_ her. By all realistic standards, it seemed that those were the exact intentions behind their attack, regardless of whether they successfully completed or not. (Something still didn't add up with that, either, but that was low on James' list of priorities at the moment.) And James was nothing if not just. They wanted to bring Lily within an inch of her life? It would be his _pleasure_ to return the favour.

The real issue was the _how_. James had never been the most impulsive of the group (enter Sirius Black), but this situation prompted an immediate casting away of rationality and called for _action_. The initial plan was to simply apparate to their homes and do some damage to their faces. Sirius had been quick to jump onboard, but Remus' assertion that the repercussions for leaving the grounds at night to assault three boys would be severe had not fallen on _completely_ deaf ears and so the boys had put a pin in that idea.

After days of tossing various ideas around, James and Sirius landed on a trap situation. The attack had obviously not just been the ideas of the Slytherins. They weren't smart enough to develop that on their own. No, this had been an order from someone higher up than them. And it didn't take a genius to know exactly who was at fault.

Evan Rosier, Sr.

They needed to get the Death Eater on Hogwarts grounds for the loopholes to fall into place. This was no easy feat.

But... _Luke Wilder_.

Good-natured, relatively quiet. The Ravenclaw prefect who generally kept his nose out of trouble. But more important than these distinctions was his intimate tie to Olivia Magnus.

The two had been dating since late fourth year and they were the couple many young girls giggled and gushed over while older students secretly respected and admired their consistency.

When Olivia had not returned to school, Wilder had gone silent. He avoided questions as often as he could, but, when cornered, gave the generic (and Hogwarts-professor approved) answer of "unenrollment," offering no insight to the _why_ of the matter. He had seemed relatively unaffected by her disappearance, which only helped to calm most of the gossip circulating about Olivia. If her own _boyfriend_ wasn't freaking out, then why should anyone else?

As it turned out, the prefect had good reason for his lack of concern.

Olivia Magnus had been writing him letters all term.

…

"Why does it _matter_?" Mary groaned, throwing her head back in frustration as she walked with Lily and Anna to lunch several days later. "Potter and Black are dating again. The world can resume it's rotation around the sun."

"The Earth _revolves_ around the sun, Mary. Jesus, don't pureblood kids even learn basic science?" Lily scoffed, ignoring the finger Mary had flipped in her face. "But that's just _it_. They're _not_ dating again! It's all very 'means to an end' and they haven't actually patched things up."

"Why do you expect us to have any information whatsoever?" Mary said, glancing at her watch and hissing as she realised they would be cutting it close to lunch. She reshouldered her bookbag and quickened her pace. "If we miss lunch, I swear to Merlin."

"We won't miss lunch," Anna said, rolling her eyes.

Mary shot a glare to their petite friend and then shook her head, lifting her chin haughtily. "If you want intel, ask Black. You two seem _chummy_."

Something about the way she spat the last word made Lily's own pace drag. "What is that supposed to mean?" she clipped.

"Nothing," Anna jumped in, ever the peacemaker. "She's just _hungry_." She shot a pointed look toward the taller girl that clearly said, _shut up_.

"No, tell me what's going on." Lily demanded, stopping altogether.

"Lily," Anna warned, in a pleading tone.

"C'mon, Macdonald. Spit it out."

Mary stopped her jaunt, abruptly. "Fine." she snapped, turning on her heels to face Lily. "I just think it's a little weird how much time you've been spending with _Sirius Black_. The bloke is an absolute disaster, yet _he's_ the one you skip Transfiguration to gossip with."

"I skipped class _once_ , and it wasn't-"

"What about all those nights you've stayed up in the common room?" the taller witch spat, advancing on Lily. A bitter smile erupted on her face. "Yeah, I know all your sorry _reading nights_ were to chum it up with him."

"Why do you _care_?"

"Why do _you_ care, Lily? What part of him even slightly suggests that he would be a good friend to have? I mean, _Merlin_ , Lily, you haven't told us _anything_ about what you're feeling. You were bloody _assaulted_ , yet you continue to prance about like everything is wonderful and only reveal your tears to _Sirius_."

Lily's face screwed up. "I've never cri-"

"Anna and I walk on fucking nails with you, never knowing what questions we can ask or what we can even say. We're your best _friends!_ But we give you space because that's what you want, we _assume_. I mean, hell if we actually know anything, right?" She was yelling at full volume now. "But then we see you giggling it up with _Black_ and he reports to us that you had a bloody panic attack at Scrivenshaft's last Saturday."

"He had no right to tell you about that."

"Maybe not. But he had no right to be there when it happened, either!"

"What, so you're angry that I haven't had a _panic attack_ in your presence?! Oh, please find it in your heart of hearts to _forgive me_ , Mary." Lily spat, her face instantly reddening.

"Are you kidding me?" Mary cried, a mix of hurt and rage dancing across her face. "You think _that's_ what this is about? You're so THICK, Lily! We just want you to open up, dammit. And not to _Sirius_. That family is messed up, okay? Have you seen the papers about his cous-"

"Don't you _dare_ hit me with that shite, Mary. Just because he's-"

"Well, why the hell not? He comes from a bunch of lunatics! Sooner or later, he's going to end up like the rest of them."

"Mary, come on…" Anna contributed, softly, attempting to talk her friend off the cliff she had so haphazardly thrown herself onto.

Lily plowed on. "So all of a sudden, _blood matters_? What does that say about _me_ , then, Mary?!"

Mary ran her hands through her hair, groaning in frustration. "Merlin, this isn't _about_ that!"

"Then enlighten me!"

"This is about you having an obsession with broken things!"

Lily's nose scrunched up in confusion. "What?!"

" _Mary_." Anna repeated, this time with more force.

"C'mon, Lily," Mary crossed her arms defiantly, fixing the witch with a look that suggested the redhead knew exactly what she was about to say. "First Snape. Now Black?"

Lily froze, unable to render a reply to that hurtful accusation. The fact that Mary, her _best friend_ , would liken her friendship with Sirius to that of Severus was a low-blow and she _knew it_. Lily was tired of the stereotyping and the condescension, especially when it concerned her friend. Mary had always been hot-headed, but enough was enough.

With a look of ice, she whipped around and headed toward Gryffindor Tower, deciding her hunger would have to take second place to her feelings today.

…

It was a bad week for relationships, apparently, as Remus and James still hadn't remedied their own differences, concerning the details of Operation DTD.

This did nothing to prevent James from continuing on with his own planning and implementation of the stratagem. Peter was surprisingly gifted with Charms, which resulted in a well-executed forgery charm placed over a letter addressed to Evan Rosier Sr., the (confirmed Death Eater) father of the former Slytherin student who had attacked Lily.

 _Rosier._

 _How's it going, arsehole? Whatever your answer is, it's about to get a hell of a lot worse for you. You see...I heard a little rumour that your mission from good ol' Voldy once upon a time was to off the entire Magnus family. Funny enough, all of them are still alive! How absolutely crazy is that! And as exciting and interesting as I'm sure this information is for you, I bet the evil, weevil Dark Lord is going to love it even more!_

 _So here's the deal, dickhead. I've got a shit ton of letters and evidence that you failed to complete Oldy Voldy's orders. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you_ probably _didn't tell HIM that. So, unless you want him to be...enlightened...I suggest you read closely._

 _If you want to ensure my silence, obtain 20,000 galleons and meet me by the Black Lake on Hogwarts grounds at half ten this coming Tuesday._

 _* Hogwarts has a no-apparition security measure, so you'll have to come from Hogsmeade. I figured I needed to give you that hint, dumbass._

 _If you try to kill me before then, I assure you that Voldy will know about your fuck-up with the Magnuses faster than you can cast a jelly-leg curse. That_ is _what you death eaters spend all your time learning to do...right?_

 _Honestly, can't wait to see you Tuesday night! Be sure to wear something nice and brush your teeth! There'll be absolutely no snogging if your hygiene is sub-par._

 _Love always,_

 _James Potter_

The money didn't matter. James had no need for it and he knew that Rosier had no intent of bringing it. (If Rosier Jr.'s robes were any indicator...they didn't have the money to pay ransom, anyway.)

Rosier would no doubt take the note for exactly what James intended it to be - an invitation to a face-to-face encounter.

On Rosier's end, he would read the letter as a weak threat from a seventeen-year-old. Substantial in nature, but easy to take care of in reality. A quick killing curse would no doubt end this juvenile escapade.

On James' end, however, it was the foundation for revenge.

…

"I wish you would talk to her," Anna sighed, as she brushed her hair over her shoulder, looking in the small vanity of the girls' dorm.

"Anna, you were _there_ yesterday. You heard what she said." Lily defended.

"I know. But this is _Mary_. She's not going to make the first move."

"How is that any encouragement for me to approach her?"

"I don't know," Anna admitted. "But I hate all the tenseness. It's silly to dwell on things like this with all the fighting going on with You-Know-Who."

The copper-haired girl had a point, but it did nothing to soothe Lily's soul. Mary had crossed a line. Obviously, the words had spilled over in anger and her friend had, most likely, never intended for them to be vocalised. But that didn't really change anything.

After all, Lily had her fair share of experience with people saying things they didn't mean to say. Whether or not they were meant to be said didn't change the fact that they were still _meant_.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow, alright?" Lily assured her friend.

Anna smiled, gratefully. "You're too good, Lovely Lily."

"Don't call me that!" Lily shouted, launching her pillow across the room.

Anna's Quidditch reflexes allowed her to duck, effortlessly, but she whipped her head around in mock rage. "Lily Evans, you will regret that." She tossed her hairbrush onto the vanity and ran toward Lily's bed.

"Really? Because I quite seem to be-AGH!" she squealed as the petite witch jumped on top of her, relentlessly digging her fingers into Lily's sides. "No fair, no fair!" she managed through her involuntary giggles.

The rambunctious laughter of the girls drowned out the creak of the door as another sixth-year Gryffindor entered the dorm.

"Lily? Can I...talk to you for a second?"

The two girls on the bed froze, both of the necks snapping toward the doorway to take in Mary's shifting presence.

"Oh. Uh…" Lily stumbled. "Yeah, sure." She clambered up from the bed, quickly, shooting a questioning glance at Anna before following Mary out the door.

The taller witch took a seat on the top step of the girl's staircase, which Lily took as her cue to do the same. Both girls stared at their own knees in silence for a moment.

"I didn't-"

"I'm sor-"

The witches broke off in nervous, breathy giggles as they, simultaneously, spoke over each other.

"You first." Lily offered.

"Okay, yeah," Mary nodded, wiping her hands on her skirt. "I should talk first. This was all me, Lily, and I'm sorry. I was being stupid and jealous because I just feel like I never get to talk to you anymore. And I know you're so brave and so strong, but I just...I want you to feel like you can _feel_ with me, you know? When I heard what...what happened. That night at the lake? I felt so sick, Lily. I didn't even know you went down there. I didn't even know you got a letter from Snape in the first place!"

"But Sirius did," Lily filled in the blanks with an understanding nod. "I didn't think you'd want to know, honestly, Mary. You hate Severus."

"I do," she agreed, not dancing away from the harsh truth. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to withhold stuff from me just because I'm...judgemental. And I'm going to work on that, okay? I'll support your friendships with Black or Potter or whoever. I just...I hope you know that my judgement comes from a place of just…" She sighed, glancing at Lily with a half-frown. "I really love you, Lily. And it scares me to think about all the people outside these walls who want to hurt you."

"Inside these walls, too," Lily reminded her with a shiver.

"Inside these walls, too," Mary echoed, quietly.

"I know that everything you do is from love. You're my best friend and that'll never change. I just feel like...you expect me to have my life perfectly together. _Lovely Lily_. I don't know how to be...broken in front of you."

"You're not-"

"But I _am_ , Mary. I'm so broken it's pathetic. The panic attack in Scrivenshaft's you heard about? I actually had two of them. The first was just because he _mentioned_ the night by the Lake. The second was because Sirius tried to touch my shoulder. My fucking _shoulder_ , Mary. I can't walk into a room with Slytherins without wanting to vomit and everytime I walk by the Black Lake, part of me wishes that I _had_ died that night because it'd be better than...than reliving it."

Mary watched her friend silently, moisture forming in her own eyes as she listened to the redhead's monologue.

"Sometimes, I...I think about how much easier it would be. If I...had died. It's just that all this," she gestured around the hallway, her intended meaning Hogwarts, "is prep for what? So I can graduate and face this same shite on a bigger level? It's _terrifying,_ Mary. I feel so unsettled and on edge every second of every day and I just lay in bed at night and think about how this is the rest of my life. It's never going to get better. It's never going to _change_."

"Lily, you can't think like that," Mary said softly, laying a trembling hand on Lily's knee.

"But I do!" Lily shouted, hoarsely, her voice marred by tears of her own. "I do, Mary. I lay for hours in my bed, begging my eyes to not give in, because I know as soon as they close, the nightmares rush in. Do you know that I cast a silencing charm on my bed every night? The healers at St. Mungo's...they told me I would wake up screaming every couple hours. So when I came here, I...I knew I couldn't put you all through that."

"Lily," Mary whispered, tears now freely cascading down her cheeks.

"Why is it like this?" Lily sobbed, leaning into her friend. "Why is the world so horrible?"

"I don't know," the blonde witch stroked Lily's hair fervently, simultaneously attempting to console her friend and stabilise her own melt-down. "I don't bloody know."

…

"So now you're not speaking with Sirius _or_ Remus?" Peter sounded annoyed as he scuffed down the hall.

"I've been speaking with Sirius," James insisted. "That's what it's called when two people open their mouths and direct words at each other, Pete. If you'll recall, Sirius and I have been doing that."

"Don't patronize me, Prongs," Peter narrowed his eyes. "You're not _speaking_ with Sirius. You're _using_ him until this Lily stuff blows over and you wake up and decide he's not worth your time anymore."

James stopped walking, abruptly. "What does that-"

"Merlin, James." Peter groaned. "I'm tired of keeping up with you and your angst. You can't have a bloody conversation with any of us without it turning into an argument these days. I'm not picking a fight, here, okay? I just wish you'd...go back to normal."

"Normal," James echoed.

"Normal," Peter nodded. "Like it used to be. The four of us against the world."

"Well, it's not like that anymore, Peter. It'll _never_ be like that."

"Never be like what?" a new voice joined the fray as Sirius fell in step with the other two boys. He held up the crumpled Map as explanation when James and Peter looked startled at his sudden appearance. "Nicked it from the dorm after Charms. Thought it may come in handy."

James nodded, wordlessly.

"James posted the letter to Rosier." Peter offered, as they walked down the hall. "He's about to go to Quidditch, but I was going to meet up with the girls and fill them in if you want to come with?"

Sirius nodded. "Sure. Where's Remus?"

Peter shot a sideways glance at James. "He's...busy."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Busy, huh?" He gave his own look at James, obviously waiting for an explanation.

The bespectacled boy sighed. "Remus doesn't condone our...methods."

A bark of laughter escaped Sirius. "Well, of course he doesn't." At James' questioning glare, he continued. "We're sneaking out of the castle, inviting confirmed Death Eaters to the school grounds, and attempting to facilitate their arrest by dangling our own lives in front of them as bait. What part of that sounds like something Remus would endorse?"

James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and quickened his pace.

"Well, come on, Wormy," Sirius said recognising the end of the conversation with James. "Let's find Brodeur and Macdonald, yeah?"

...

"Where have you two been?" Lily hissed, squinting her eyes as light from the corridor flooded the pitch dark dorm. Mary and Anna's silhouettes slouched through the doorway silently, but didn't respond.

"Oi! Anna. Mary." she whisper-yelled, sitting fully up in her bed.

One of the shadows closed the door, quietly, engulfing the room back into darkness.

"Lumos!" Lily muttered, after she fumbled for her wand.

" _Put that out_." Mary's hushed voice commanded. "You'll wake Marls and McCall."

Lily ignored her instructions and held out her wand toward the taller girl, still squinting her eyes to adjust to the darkness. "Where have you been?"

"Go to sleep, Lily." Anna whispered, her small form lithely moving across the floor toward her own bed.

"What time is it?" the redhead groggily murmured.

"Half-three."

" _Half-three_!"

"Go to sleeeeeep," Marlene's sleepy voice slurred from across the room.

"Lily, put your wand out." Anna begged.

"Get over here," she demanded in response.

It was Mary's body who first appeared at Lily's bed, clumsily ambling under the covers with Lily. Anna followed suit, sitting on Lily's feet at the foot of the bed, and shutting the curtains quickly around them, whispering, " _Perpaco_."

"Okay, we should be fine," Anna nodded, returning to a normal voice level as she addressed the other two girls huddled on the twin bed.

"Where have you been?" Lily repeated, wasting no time.

Mary and Anna exchanged a look.

" _Guys_. What's going on?" the redhead insisted, through narrowed eyes.

"It's not a big deal! It's just-" Anna tried.

"Studying. We were studying." Mary finished with a sharp look toward her petite friend.

"Studying," Lily echoed, suspiciously. "In the common room?"

"Well...no."

"I should dock points, then."

"Oh, come _on_ , Lils, you can't pretend to _not_ be a prefect for once?" Mary groaned.

"Tell me what you were doing," Lily parried.

Anna bit her lip, nervously. "Well, we...you don't want to know."

"Oh, yeah, _that_ quenches my curiosity." Lily replied, dryly, clambering further out of the sheets to glare at her mates. "Why the secrets?"

The other two girls remained silent.

"Does it...have to do with me?" Lily asked, with a frown.

The widening of Anna's eyes was enough of an answer.

"Okay, yeah, you're _definitely_ telling me what's going on." Lily said, forcefully.

"I'm sorry, Lily. We really can't."

"Just...trust us, alright?" Mary offered.

"You've got to be joking. You're seriously _not_ going to-" But her voice trailed off as she realised both girls had already slipped out of her curtains. " _Mary. Anna._ " When she popped her own head out, she was met with silent darkness.

With a frustrated groan that quickly morphed into a yawn, she fell back into her pillow.

…

James chewed on the end of his quill, nervously, his eyebrows deep-set as he solidified the plan with Mary and Anna. "You're positive she's going to Charms club?"

"Yes, Potter, the answer hasn't changed since the last forty-seven times you've asked us," Mary sighed, airily, playing with a curl, as she slouched in her chair.

"I'm just checking," he frowned.

The blonde witch pulled at a split end. "While you've been wanking to Lily Evans all these years, Lily Evans has been wanking to Charms theory...so you can count on her going to Charms Club."

James abruptly began to violently cough and Sirius glared at the girl. "Nice, Macdonald."

"Sorry, love," she grinned wolfishly toward the hunched James' hunched-over form.

" _Anyway_ ," Peter pushed. "It's imperative that she isn't anywhere near the Tower or out on the grounds after nine."

"She tutors the third year group in the library after charms club, so she'll be away until midnight." assured Anna.

"Midnight," James echoed, now fully recovered from his coughing fit. He sighed, shakily. "Okay, yeah, that...that should be enough time."

" _Should be_?" Mary questioned, dropping her hair and leaning forward in her seat.

"Well," James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "there is a small margin of error that we are allowing just...in case."

"In case _what_?" Mary prodded, icily.

"In case Rosier _avada kedavra_ 's our arses before the main event." Sirius laughed, heartily, as if he were only recounting a particularly comical birthday card.

Mary and Anna blinked, fearfully, at the three boys who sat on the other side of the library table.

Peter at least made the effort to look ashamed. "Normally, Moony doesn't let us get this far." he explained to the girls with a tight-lipped smile.

James and Sirius erupted into laughter at this particular statement, leaning on each other for support. "Merlin, if Rosier doesn't kill us, Remus sure as hell will!" Sirius choked out.

The two girls sent each other a wide-eyed look that clearly conveyed emotions of regret and the desire to pull out while they still could. There was one thing and one thing only keeping them glued to their chairs and partaking in the scheming that was the Insanity of The Marauders.

Lily Evans.

...

"What's going on?" Lily demanded, popping up from the couch and causing James to jump and freeze from his place at the bottom of the boys' stairs.

 _Shit._

"Nothing." James said, quickly, automatically stepping backwards onto the last step. His head swivelled around the common room. "Why aren't you at...er Charms Club? Or...tutoring?"

 _Mary and Anna had_ promised.

"Ended early." she snapped, coming around the couch toward the frightened wizard. "Let me rephrase. What the _hell_ is going on?"

"I...I was just-"

" _Potter._ " She narrowed her eyes, dangerously. "You and your lot have been weird all day. Tell me why."

She was right. They _had_ been weird all day. It was Tuesday, afterall...the day Operation DTD was being completed. Everything had gone perfectly according to plan, until…

"I got back from tutoring and decided to start on homework down here. Only Sirius stumbles in with _mud_ all over which _must_ have been my imagination because I know there is no bloody way he was prancing about the Hogwarts grounds after curfew." Her eyes narrowed into tiny, emerald slits. "I started to question him, but he hightailed it out of here and fed me some shite about you all having a _roomie night_ up there because it's just been _too bloody long_." she continued, crossing her arms across her chest.

Sirius was an _idiot_.

"He's right," James said, instead, quickly bobbing his head up and down.

"No, he bloody well is _not_ ," she screamed, dropping her arms in frustration. "Don't pretend you two are friends again _now_. You're full of shit and I want to know _why_." She blew her long bangs out of her face in frustration. "Tonight is the night, isn't it."

It was a statement, not a question.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't!"

"Look, Evans-"

"Tell me what's going on!" she demanded, stomping her foot. "Why are you all lying and sneaking about?!" Then, she took another step, and dropped the volume of her voice, widening her eyes to take in his face. "This has to do with me, doesn't it?"

"Evans, I-"

"James." She took another step, _even closer,_ toward him and he tried not to focus on how _right_ the word sounded coming from her mouth. "If you're about to do something stupid on...on my behalf...I would really like to know about it."

"Stupid? Me?" he pulled a nervous grin, hand inching toward his hair.

"Not the time to deflect."

"Don't worry about me, Evans. Just...go to bed."

"Don't be an idiot, Potter." she said, softly.

"Can't help it," he squeezed out, mouth twitching as if the words were pouring out against his will.

She frowned. "I don't even know what that means."

He didn't reply, choosing to physically bite his tongue. It wasn't fair that one person could have so much control over the things he could conceal or reveal. This was to protect _her_ , dammit, and it wouldn't do for her to go spoiling it just because he couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut.

"Promise me you won't go _looking_ for trouble."

"Trouble generally finds me, Evans." he reminded her, a twisted sort of smile pulling at his lips.

"James," she grasped his shoulder, emerald eyes boring a hole into his own hazels. "Promise me. They're not worth it."

James looked to the left of Lily, desperately fighting against the magnetism that always managed to pull their gazes to a mutual point. " _You_ are." There was the twitch again. He looked as if he were struggling under Veritaserum, but the potion was besting him.

"What?" Lily's gaze only intensified as her eyebrows furrowed.

"I promise." he choked out.

Lily didn't drop her hand or her gaze, continuing to study the wizard's face. Finally, she seemed to find what she was looking for and allowed her hand to fall off his shoulder.

"Okay."

And she turned to go upstairs to bed.

…

"I hope you realize you just lied to your future wife." The invisibility cloak dropped with a start.

"She's not my—"

"Save it." Sirius strode toward the taller boy, balling up the shimmery material in his arms. "We _are_ still going through with this, though, right?"

James hesitated for the briefest flicker of a moment. "Of course."

…

 **A/N: If you are a bit confused on what this Operation DTD actually consists of...that is okay. I am confident that a few of you will manage to piece together the various parts that were woven through this chapter, but the real meat is sizzling in the** _ **next**_ **chapter and I am** **excited** **!**

 **Thank you for the overwhelming response on the previous chapter! I never thought I would get so close to 100 reviews on a story! You are all beautiful, brilliant people.**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: A whole chapter of James, James, James. Enjoy!**

 ***Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, including but not limited to the characters of this story, Hogwarts, and my soul.**

 **...**

James knew Rosier wouldn't come alone, but...he really hadn't expected six full-fledged Death Eaters to turn up on the Hogwarts grounds that night. After all, this wasn't a Voldemort-endorsed mission. The very opposite, in fact. These men were here to cover for Rosier's botched job and if Voldemort was to find out...James assumed it would not be a pretty picture.

"Oh hey, Rosy!" James called out, cheerfully, waving his hand as if the Death Eater was the Grand Marshall in a parade. "It's okay if I call you that, right?"

"Oh, look, Prongs, he brought friends!" Sirius added with a grin, slinging his arm over the bespectacled boy as they walked toward the lake. It was so _easy_ to fall right into their proper places as Sirius and James, Black and Potter, Padfoot and Prongs in moments like this.

"I didn't know this was going to be a _party_! Why didn't you send an owl back and let me know?!" James cried with mock aghastness.

"Should we transfigure some party hats?" Sirius asked innocently, his eyebrows raising.

" _Shut up!"_ the deep growl of Evan Rosier Sr. rumbled across the clearing.

"Oh, yikes. Looks like someone didn't get to blow out his candles."

"Well, Prongs, it's his party, so he can cry if he wants to."

" _It's his party, and he'll cry-_ " James' off-pitch singing was cut short by a warning flash of red. A stunning spell fired by one of the four men behind Rosier.

James' eyes darkened a bit as he looked toward the cloaked group. "Alright, fine. We'll skip the pleasantries, I suppose." He cocked a challenging eyebrow and withdrew his own wand with calculating slowness.

"Do you know how to _use_ that, boy?" Rosier sneered, gesturing toward James' sleek mahogany wand with his own short and jagged one.

James' lip quirked up. "Shall we play a little game and see?"

" _James_ ," Sirius murmured in warning, nudging his friend as he drew closer to his side. He shot a pointed look toward Rosier's cronies who now all had their respective wands drawn. They were outnumbered. Even with Peter abandoning his Animagus post at the nearby tree and joining the fray, their chances of walking away from a full-out duel were slim.

"Don't make me kill you, Potter." Rosier snarled.

"Is that not the plan, regardless?"James quipped back. Sirius' elbow dug deeper into his side, a clear message of _stand down_ , but James was just getting started. "Because you kind of need to work on your image if the pack of losers behind you are just your back-up dancers."

Rosier ignored the insinuation but kept his wand leveled at James' chest. "Where's the mudblood?"

"You think it's that easy, Rosy? We all have a fun rendezvous by the lake, I tell you where Olivia is, and then we depart unlikely friends? If that's the case, then I _really_ should have brought some cake."

"Potter," the older man growled, dangerously.

"Where _are they?_ " Sirius whispered to James through clenched teeth. The bespectacled boy didn't respond.

"How about we take turns and I get to ask a question now?" James suggested with an exaggerated smile. "How many times would Voldemort kill you if he knew how badly you fucked up that mission? Because taking out a family? _Muggles,_ at that. Can't really be _that_ hard to do, right? But you still screwed it up! From what I hear, by the time you got to the Magnuses house, they'd been gone for a _week_. That can't go over too well with Voldy, huh?" His grin inched up on the left side. "Oh, I'm sorry...did I overwhelm you with too many questions?"

" _Slow down_ ," Sirius hissed into his ear, sending a quick glance around the clearing.

"This means yes," James said, ignoring Sirius and addressing Rosier, loudly and slowly, as if he were speaking to a toddler. He threw his head up and down in an animated manner. "This means no." Side to side.

"Potter!" an impatient voice from behind Rosier barked. "Does your mommy know you spend your time at school taunting wizards who could kill you with a flick of their wrist?"

"Well, I don't know, Selwyn." James said, chipperly. "What did she say last time she threw your arse in Azkaban?" He flashed another smile.

The death eater named Selwyn stepped forward, lifting his wand toward James' chest. Rosier held out a quick hand to prohibit the curse. "Enough! I don't enjoy playing with my food." he growled. "Who all knows about Magnus, Potter?"

"Well, let me think for a minute," the younger wizard scratched at his head, dramatically, "it's probably safe to say Olivia herself knows, right? And her mum and dad. Her younger brother definitely-" He was cut off by a sharp stinging jinx to his shoulder.

" _Hey!_ " Sirius jumped, raising his own wand. "If you want to know anything, keep your curses to yourself!"

Rosier raised a lazy eyebrow. "So the blood traitor speaks."

"The blood traitor will do a lot more than that if you so much as twitch that wand again, Rosier." Sirius challenged.

Rosier bared his teeth in a gruesome sort of grin, studying the dark-haired wizard. "Interesting."

Sirius flicked his eyes toward his friend, who was hunched over, but ultimately fine. James pulled himself back up with a grimace and hiss of pain. "Well, that's not how I remember playing spin-the bottle at _my_ parties." he winced.

"The letters, Potter." Rosier pressed, growing impatient. "Where are they and who's read them?"

All humour vanished from James' eyes as he met Rosier's gaze with matched determination.

"Now isn't the time to shut up, Potter. I need names!"

James stayed silent.

"Fine," Rosier said, sliding into an even tone as he stepped toward the two younger wizards. "I suppose I should have expected you'd want to make a game of this, too. Shall I guess?" His posh accent was marred by the gravelly undertones, but it still hit every consonant with deadly accuracy. "We'll start easy, hm? Black obviously knows." He shot a sneer toward Sirius.

"Nice guess, genius," Sirius glared back easily enough, but his eyes continued to scan the shoreline, searching for something.

"My son tells me you have other friends as well. So that would include Pettigrew, of course. And Lupin. Something always off about that one, yeah?"

James' mouth twitched as he struggled to maintain neutral composure.

"And the fifth-year girl. Alessio? She comes from good blood, but I suppose we can't really be surprised when she spends time in bed with a _Potter_." He was mere inches from James' face now, his rancid breath only adding an extra level to the testing James' self-control. "I assume no one would truly mourn _her_ loss, hm?"

"Shut up, Rosier," Sirius hissed, eyeing James' wand hand, growing white as he gripped the mahogany.

"Or is it the _other_ mudblood? Evans, was it? I heard my son had a little fun with her a few weeks ago?" His grin was cut off as James' fist made contact with his jaw.

" _OI_." one of the Death Eaters bellowed, following it with a quick, "expulso!" Sirius barely managed to push James-who was frozen staring at his blood-covered fist-out of the way.

Immediately, all wands were in action, with a variety of colours illuminating the lakefront.

"You _idiot!_ " Sirius shouted at James as they drew back-to-back. "You couldn't have waited-STUPEFY-five more bloody seconds?! LOCOMOTOR MORTIS." A gangly-looking Death Eater hit the ground.

"Where's Wormtail?! IMPEDIMENTA." James yelled back, his voice barely rising above the shouts.

Almost on cue, a pale rat appeared at their feet and, within a moment, was replaced by the porky wizard. "DID I MISS THIS PART OF THE PLAN?" he yelled, a slight squeak punctuating the end of the cry.

"PROTEGO." Sirius bellowed, barely missing a slicing spell. "NO, PETE. JAMES JUST THOUGHT WE COULD USE THE EXTRA DUELING PRACTICE."

" _Petrificus totalus!_ " Peter shouted, releasing a satisfied squeal of surprise when the advancing wizard hit the ground.

"Nice one, Wormy!" Sirius cheered his friend, swiping his own wand upwards to emit a nonverbal jet of yellow light. "Any back-up plan in the works, Jamie?"

"Don't die!" the bespectacled boy responded, ducking to avoid a curse that looked suspiciously close to _Cruciatus_.

"I hate that he's not kidd-AH!" Peter hissed with pain as a leg-locker curse reached its mark and took him to the ground.

"Stand down, Potter!" Rosier barked, blood still dripping down his nose, as he threw up a shield in response to Sirius' _stupefy_. "You can't win this battle!"

"I'm not concerned with the battle, Rosy." James bit back, his hazel eyes darkened in determination. "I'm more worried about the _war_. PARRIETA."

" _C'mon, James!_ " Sirius snapped, noting Peter's struggle to stand back upright. Even with the two Death Eaters unconscious and the one still recovering from a particularly harsh stinging jinx, the boys were outnumbered. In numbers _and_ in years. These men had devoted their lives to murdering witches, wizards, and muggles, alike. This fight only ended in the young Gryffindors being seriously injured or, likely, killed.

"Just...DEPRIMO...one more min-" James' voice trailed away as the Death Eater he was dueling fell to the ground, but not because of the hole the younger wizard had just created on the ground beneath him. James' head swivelled as he searched for the source of the light blue curse that had just taken out Selwyn.

"Didn't I already beat your arse, Selwyn?" a honey-like voice stood out among the deep, harsh, pre-existing tones of the fray. "EXPELLIARMUS!"

"Bloody took you long enough!" James shouted, catching the wand that had just been blasted from a Death Eater's hand. "FURNUNCULUS."

"I KNOW THAT MY CHILD DID NOT JUST USE A _PIMPLE JINX_ IN A DUEL." the new arrival, a woman with short brown hair and a seemingly-prematurely wrinkled face, yelled back.

" _He was already disarmed, Mum!_ " James whined, successfully tripping a Death Eater immediately after.

"See, Mia, he knows _two_ spells!" the man on her right, also a new arrival, pointed out with a hardy laugh, sending his own non-verbal jinx toward an opponent. "Wotcher, Sirius, Pete!"

"Hiya, Dad!" Sirius grinned over his shoulder, not dropping his wand.

The Potters, plus the three Marauders, worked tirelessly for several minutes, but the truth was that they were struggling to maintain the defensive, much less get in hits of their own. One of the unconscious Death Eaters had joined back in and managed to clip Sirius' chin with a slicing curse.

"You boys need to get back to the castle, _now_!" Euphemia shouted, expertly parrying a spell.

"Not bloody likely!" James yelled back.

"LISTEN, I am your _moth-_ " Her words morphed into a gasp as a jet of red hit her ribs and brought her to the ground with a thud. She writhed in the dirt for a moment, her face frozen in pain before going limp. Sirius dropped to her side, immediately.

James whipped around to face Rosier, who had fired the Cruciatus. "You're dead." he growled at the older man, advancing on him with large strides.

Rosier grinned, darkly. "Avenging dear Mummy?" he taunted, with a pout. "Well, come on th-"

"INCARCEROUS."

Immediately, ropes burst from his wand and entangled the Death Eater before he could throw up a shield. The tethers whipped around his body and brought him to the ground, as he violently attempted to disengage himself from their grip.

"DIFFENDO." James shouted, continuing to march toward Rosier, as a cut ripped across the older wizard's shoulder. "DIFFENDO." he yelled again, pointing at the same shoulder and watching as it began to tear away from the rest of the body.

"JAMES. STOP." Mr. Potter bellowed, running toward his son.

"DIFFENDO." the Gryffindor screamed again, though his hand was beginning to shake. The curse missed Rosier's arm and a crack erupted across the ground, instead.

Evan Rosier, Sr. continued to flail in the dirt, struggling to breath through the combined pressure of the ropes and pain of his near-detached arm. A gurgling sound was heard as blood congregated at the back of his throat.

"PRONGS." Sirius yelled, from his place next to Euphemia, who was blinking back to consciousness and struggling to sit up and stop the commotion.

"DIFFENDO." James gripped his wand with both hands to steady it, this time aiming at Rosier's stomach. Immediately, the black cloak became soaked with blood as a deep slice erupted across his torso.

"EXPELLIARMUS." Fleamont Potter bellowed. James' wand careened through the air and landed several feet away. The young Gryffindor froze for a moment, confusion and rage darkening his eyes before he seemed to understand what had just happened. He flashed a deep glare toward his father and then ran for the wand.

Before Fleamont could stop his son himself, James was forced to slide to a stop. Five new bodies appeared with a pop, blocking his path, wands drawn.

"IMMOBILUS MAXIMA." Dumbledore's frail voice had seemingly been replaced by a deep force that would have made a mountain troll cower.

James' vision went blurry as time seemed to freeze. He felt as if he was moving through a bowl of the houseelves' eggplant gelatin. His breathing was slower than it should have been, but somehow...it felt normal.

Then, like a rush of freezing water, he was brought back to reality and slammed to the ground with a thud. He snapped his head back up to see everyone else, sans Dumbledore, was on the ground as well.

"Emancipare." the headmaster said, firmly, but without the volume of his earlier magic. He watched as James' ropes disappeared from Rosier's body. "Professor McGonagall, if you will send for Healer Harding and Mademoiselle Pomfrey, immediately." He motioned toward the witch at his side.

With a quick wave of her wand, a silver cat burst forth and bounded toward the castle, carrying with it the SOS.

"Professor Slughorn, please do what you can."

The pudgy professor nodded, profusely, and hurried toward Rosier's twitching body. The Death Eater, much paler than he had been upon his arrival, looked at the wizard with disgust. "If you think I'm going to let-"

The end of his threat was lost as Dumbledore waved his wand and Rosier's eyes fell closed. The tension left his body as he relaxed into a deep sleep. Slughorn kneeled beside the wizard and pulled a variety of vials from his satchel.

"Fleamont, Professor Snowcroft would be happy to assist you in apprehending these men, but I must insist that we wait for Mr. Rosier's wounds to be taken care of." He peered over his spectacles toward James with a hint of knowing accusation, but the young wizard remained firm in his glare.

Immediately, three of the death eaters who had managed to right themselves attempted to spin on the spot, a desperate attempt to disapparate, but Dumbledore merely watched, with a casual expression almost akin to amusement. After they recognised the futility of their action on Hogwarts grounds, they took off running the opposite direction.

With a quick flick of Dumbledore's wand, the three men buckled at the knees and froze in place.

"There will be no more fighting on Hogwarts grounds tonight, gentlemen." he said, calmly, dangeorusly. "Your attempts at escape from this point forward will only end painfully, I am afraid. You would do well to _sit tight,_ as they say."

"Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Potter... _James_ , that is," he sent a small smile toward Fleamont, "you are to accompany Professor McGonagall to my office, immediately."

Sirius and Peter looked at each other, regretfully, but nodded and walked toward the Transfiguration professor.

James, however, remained still.

"James." Fleamont said, with warning.

"What's going to happen to him?" the young wizard said, brazenly, raising his chin to meet Dumbledore. "Rosier."

The Headmaster's thin eyebrows raised. "Mr. Rosier's wounds will be tended to by Healer-."

"I don't care about that." he cut in quickly, a sneer forming on his lips. "After that. Is he going to Azkaban? Will they administer the Kiss?"

Dumbledore cocked his head to the side, studying James as if he were a particularly difficult Rune he had just been asked to translate. "I confess I do not know, Mr. Potter."

"James," Euphemia's melodic voice sliced through his anger. He whipped around toward her now-sitting form. Fleamont made to assist her in standing, but she held a firm hand out, closing her eyes and taking a breath as she raised herself to stand next to her husband.

Euphemia Potter, ever the warrior.

"Go with Minerva. Now."

It was a low blow, because she knew he couldn't say no to her. Not now-in her post-crucio state-, not ever.

He nodded, sullenly, and moved toward Sirius and Peter.

A babbling, high voice was heard in the direction of the castle. "That would be Mademoiselle Pomfrey." Dumbledore smiled, motioning toward the approaching figures of Harding and his new assistant.

"Come along, boys." McGonagall said, quietly, sweeping ahead of them. They followed, languidly, heads dropped, steps slow.

...

He shouldn't have been surprised to see Remus jump from the chair as soon as they made it to Dumbledore's office.

"James." the werewolf said quickly, as he scrambled to stand. "Look, I'm sorry, but I was watching the Map and I-"

James held up a weary hand toward his friend, shaking his head and offering a small smile. "All good, mate."

" _All good, mate_." McGonagall echoed, outrage evident in her tone. "I should think so, considering he saved your sorry lives tonight, Potter!"

Remus winced in apology.

"If Mr. Lupin had not come to me and told me your idiotic plan, I expect you would be lying dead by the Black Lake! And to involve your _parents_ , Potter, honestly! In all my years of teaching at his school, I have _never_ met a more irresponsible bunch of young wizards. What, might I ask, were you _anticipating_ to happen tonight?"

The three boys kept their eyes on the floor.

"You invited _Death Eaters_ onto school property. Death Eaters! Do you know the amount of danger you placed every student in tonight?! If they had gotten past the defenses…" Her eyes widened in horror as she imagined the possibility of seven Death Eaters in Hogwarts.

"Professor, we made sure-"

" _No._ You are seventeen-year-old wizards. Do not even begin to try and convince me that you thought of every possible security measure tonight. You did _not_ , I assure you."

"We're pretty thorough," Peter muttered.

"Pettigrew. Zip it!" she said, sharply. He dropped his gaze back to the dark tile.

…

"Thank you for agreeing to stay for a moment longer than your friends, James."

James gave a small nod as he sat awkwardly on the chair Dumbledore had insisted he make himself comfortable on. The large clock in the corner of the office ticked loudly and seemed to reverberate inside James' head as he waited for Dumbledore to say the inevitable.

"Am I safe in assuming that the events of tonight transpired under your direction?"

Another small nod.

"That was very foolish, James. Baiting dark wizards onto Hogwarts grounds is unacceptable, no matter your intentions. I will not claim to know how you removed the defenses from Hogsmeade and I suppose that is a conversation for another day, but you could have been killed tonight. Your friends as well. I admire the fact that you involved your parents, but from what I understand, you told them a little more than a white lie to get them here tonight, and I do not think they are going to be quick to overlook that."

James knew all of this, of course.

Truthfully, the security measures had not been difficult to overwrite. It was unnerving to see how easily a few teenage boys could bypass intricate magic which was supposed to be protecting hundreds of students. But, never being a wizard of humility, James supposed it also wasn't _that_ hard to believe.

Getting the Potters there, though. _That_ had been a challenge.

He had contacted them and asked for their opinion on using the letters to arrest Rosier for attempting to murder Olivia's family. Fleamont had been weary, but Euphemia had liked the idea. When she ran it by her head of department, however, it had been shot down as child's play.

That's when James got creative.

"I told them Rosier contacted _me_." James explained, quietly. "I used a forgery charm to create a fake letter from him and owled it to my parents. It said he knew about Olivia's letters and that I had taken the information to aurors. If I didn't show up, he would kill me. It concluded with a time and place."

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "The Black Lake at midnight."

"Well, no." James sighed. "The real letter said midnight. The fake one said half past."

The Headmaster's eyebrows furrowed together. "You purposefully arranged for your parents to show up thirty minutes late?"

"I...I wanted to talk to him first."

"I see," said the the older witch, softly. He leaned forward in his chair. "Did you?"

James shook his head, rigidly. "No, he...I punched him."

Blue eyes widened in surprise. "You punched him?"

"Yes, sir. He said some pretty twisted things and I just...snapped."

"Snapped," Dumbledore echoed, as he leaned back in to his chair once again. "James, you knowingly walked into a high-danger situation with six known Death Eaters tonight, most of which have spent considerable time in Azkaban, _all of which_ you have heard bone-chilling stories about. You led them onto school grounds, endangering every student in this castle. Knowing you were outnumbered, and inferior to each of them in skill, you made the first move by _punching_ a wizard three times your size. You proceeded to torture that man for an extensive period of time, almost killing him. I believe that if your father had not been so quick to disarm you, you _would_ have killed him."

"Sir," James cut in, tired of the play-by-play. "Are you going to expel me?"

"No, James." Dumbledore's lips quirked up, curiously. "I intend to make you Head Boy."

James' mouth dropped.

...

James trudged into the dorm an hour later, exhausted and spent. He had spent the long walk from Dumbledore's office looking forward to the comfort of his bed, but his roommates seemed to have another idea in mind.

As soon as the door opened, three pair of eyes snapped toward him.

"Take a seat, mate. We've got _lots_ to discuss." Sirius drawled, a dangerous edge evident in his tone.

James sighed, falling into the desk chair.

" _WHAT THE HELL_." Sirius bellowed, jumping up from Peter's bed. "You could have gotten us all bloody killed!"

"We're fine, aren't we?" James said, quietly, exhausted by the events of the night, but mostly by his conversation with Dumbledore.

Sirius rounded on him. "Don't _give_ me that shite. Euphemia told us about your stupid letter. You _lied!_ "

"Oh, because you're so _above_ that?" James sneered, looking at Sirius with disinterest.

"That thirty minute gap was enough to get you in real trouble, James." Remus spoke up, from his spot on the edge of his bed. "The plan was to _get him arrested_. That's it."

"You almost killed him, Prongs," Peter added, quietly, a mix of fear and awe coming through his words.

"What would you have done if your parents hadn't shown up when they did? If _Dumbledore_ hadn't shown up when he did?" Remus implored.

"You fucking _punched_ him!" Sirius shouted, a quick burst of sparks coming from his fisted wand. Peter eyed it, wearily, backing closer toward his bed.

"'If we arrest Sr., then Jr. will feel the weight of it.' _That_ was the idea." Remus reminded him.

"Killing was _never_ part of the plan!"

"Like hell it was!" James suddenly yelled, jumping from his chair like it had shocked him. "It was _always_ the plan! You _saw_ her that night, Sirius," he turned toward his friend, his eyes dark pools of black. "I _told_ you I was going to kill them!"

"This man didn't touch Evans!"

"He might as well have! They're all the same, aren't they?!" James spat. " _Death Eaters_. They want to kill every Muggleborn in this world, so is there really any difference between Rosier Sr. and Jr.?"

"James," Remus said, calmly. "We know you're angry about what happened to Lily, okay? We care about her, too. But this isn't the way to handle it."

James shut his eyes against the nagging of his friends. They wouldn't understand. They _couldn't_ understand.

"I need to go to bed." he said, suddenly, moving toward his corner of the room.

"Just like that?" Sirius bit out, incredulously.

"What did Dumbledore say?" asked Remus.

"Who cares what-" Sirius stopped his query at Remus' sharp look.

"I'm on probation." said James, quickly.

"We're _all_ on probation, mate." Peter groaned.

"Well I'm on _super_ probation," James said, with irritation, climbing into bed. "Just...don't worry about it."

Sirius stood in the middle of the room, still clutching his wand, staring at James' bed as the bespectacled wizard drew his curtains. He shook Remus' hand off his shoulder but heeded his request to drop the subject for the night.

…

Lily didn't turn up to breakfast the next day.

"So I take it she...heard…" James' hand snaked toward his hair as he slid into the seat across from Mary Macdonald.

"Nope," Mary smirked. "She's just ignoring you because you lied to her."

James' eyes widened. "So she doesn't even know…?"

"Ha!" Mary barked. " _You_ can be the one to tell her the details. We agreed to help distract her last night and-"

"Yeah, and a damn good job you did!" James interrupted, angrily. "She came to the bleeding _common room_ last night!"

"Well, we couldn't bloody well have tied her to her bed, could we?" Mary snapped.

"You _said_ she had Charms club and tutoring!"

"She did! We don't know why she was in the common room!"

"Well, you could have kept a _bit_ of a better eye on her!"

"Stalk her?! Yeah, then she wouldn't have been suspicious at _all_!" Mary shook her head, dramatically. "We thought you lot were already by the Lake. Just be thankful she didn't follow you out there."

James took a deep breath, rubbing at his eyes and restabilising himself. It wasn't even nine o'clock and he was already at his wit's end. "You're right." he said, slowly exhaling.

Mary quirked an eyebrow, the equivalent of an accepted apology for her. "So...how did it go last night?"

"Not good," James groaned into his hands.

"Meaning?"

" _Meaning_ we all almost died."

"Hmm." Mary mused. "Yeah, _not good_ sounds about right."

James huffed a dry laugh.

"So is he…?"

"Azkaban." James nodded.

"Good," said Mary.

"He deserves worse."

"True," Mary hummed. "But Lily wouldn't agree and she's the reason we did all this, right?"

James pulled his head from his hands to take in Mary's face. Of all the people he expected to understand, Mary Macdonald would have been at the bottom of the list. But she...got it.

"I mean, sure, Lily hates those Slytherins and certainly doesn't want the best for them But...death? No way." she elaborated. "She's all about second chances and forgiveness and redemption and all that shite. Sending one of them to Azkaban is the best thing you could've done, in her eyes. I'm sure it will please you and your dick to know that you just scored major brownie points with Lily Evans."

"Oh. Good," James said, blinking at her crudeness.

"If you'd actually physically gotten back at any of them, you could kiss your sorry _friendship_ with her goodbye." Mary snorted. "But I have to say I'm impressed, Potter. Self-control is not a gift I knew you had."

"Yeah," James said uneasily. "Me neither."

"So just apologise for lying to her and explain that you were busy getting a lousy Death Eater locked up-a lousy Death Eater who happens to be the father of one of her attackers. She may even snog you."

James swallowed hard, recalling the events of the past night. He wasn't exactly sure if he could expect any sort of gratitude from Lily when she heard the exact details of the evening.

…

When a light manilla envelope dropped onto his plate at lunch, James began to panic.

He had been expecting-hoping for-a howler.

Over the years, he had received a surprisingly minimal number of howlers, at least in comparison to the stunts he had pulled which had likely warranted one. There were many benefits of being the only child, however, and even more when you were a surprise who came late in your parents' life. Some called it spoiled, James called it _well-loved_.

When he was younger he had received at least a post a week from his parents. Being retired aurors, Fleamont and Euphemia had a considerable amount of time on their hands. This allowed them to be incredibly invested in James' life. They even made it a priority to make at least one of James' Quidditch games each term, something that he often pretended to dislike, but actually caused him to play his very best.

The past year had pulled them out of retirement and back into the action of dark wizard catching. Being higher in years than most of the other aurors, their positions were mostly serving as leadership, but they were required to get their hands dirty on occasion, as well.

Their return to the Ministry had put a heavy strain on their relationship with their son, as he was not accustomed to sharing his parents' attention. He understood the importance of their work, though, and it, in fact, provided the motivation for his own desire to be an Auror.

Seeing the flimsy manilla envelope on top of his sandwich, however, made his stomach churn. There was no _possible_ way his parents-namely Euphemia-were going to let him get away with this particular stunt, unpunished. And if they hadn't sent a howler...that meant they intended something far worse.

 _James,_

 _I advised Professor Dumbledore to expel you, but he so-kindly reminded me that that would only mean I'd have to spend more time with your compulsive lying arse. And that just won't do._

 _Your summer is going to be a personalised hell for you, so get excited about that._

 _In the meantime, if I hear so much as a whisper of trouble concerning you, I will personally drag your sorry bum out of that castle and let Mr. Filch have his way with you. I know how wonderfully you two get along._

 _Love always,_

 _Mum_


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello and welcome back. I apologise for the delay, but I refuse to apologise for my reason because I have been abroad for the past month and will continue to be so until August. I am** _ **thriving**_ **, but I do wish it allowed me more time to write. No matter, though, because here is a nice little explanatory chapter for you to hopefully clear up all the confusion that has been going down in the world of our favourite little Gryffindors. Enjoy :)**

 **...**

Turns out Olivia had been sending letters to Luke Wilder all term, much to Dumbledore's chagrin.

James didn't ever become privy to the small details, but he got the big picture enough to understand how fortuitous Olivia's letters had been...but also how fortuitous it was that she was alive.

The Yaxleys, a pureblood family of great wealth and great influence, held a Christmas gala each year. It was an ironic sort of gathering considering how unfestive most of the invited crowd was. Even so, a few wizards and witches with level heads on their shoulders slipped through the cracks and made it on the invite list, be it because of Ministry ties or deep-rooted formalities.

McCall Simmons, along with her parents, always seemed to stumble their way onto the guest list. The family stuck out, quite horrendously, in comparison to the dark, conniving characterisation of most of the gala attendees. For this reason, they found an excuse to miss the party every year.

But Mr. Simmons was trying to pass new legislation regarding Animagi registration on the Ministry floor and Vlad Yaxley was the current majority leader of the Wizengamot. The two men rarely saw eye to eye, but Simmons _really_ needed the support, so McCall and her mother dawned their best (and darkest) dress robes and headed to the Yaxleys as arm candy.

An hour into the affair, McCall wandered away from the main ballroom to search for the library that had been rumoured to be almost three stories high. She never found the books...but she did find some other objects of interest.

"It's Wednesday night," Evan Rosier Jr. had said, his raspy voice carrying out of a corner room and down the corridor to McCall's frozen body.

"Why wait? Seems better to get it over with," a colourless voice had replied. Garrick Avery had never been a man of expression and this showed in his quick consonants and monotone.

"Because the Dark Lord said to do it Wednesday night. You fancy going against that?" Rosier had snapped. McCall's eyes had widened at the flippant use of Voldemort's preferred reverential term, used explicitly by known and aspiring Death Eaters. She went to _school_ with these boys.

"That's not my point. Your dad said they were leaving for vacation to Paris. Seems harder to track down a family and murder them if they're traipsing across France," Avery had dryly explained.

McCall covered her mouth and stepped back, deeper into the shadows. _Murder a family?_

"Why do you think we put the extra trace on the Mudblood's wand last term?" A thump was heard which sounded similar to a heat being thumped, forcefully. Rosier's groan of pain afterward confirmed McCall's suspicions. "Magnus is as good as dead."

McCall didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation.

…

Asking for her parents' help would have been fruitless and, honestly, probably put _more_ danger around Olivia and her family. McCall's dad worked for the Ministry, but didn't have the pull or security clearances needed to bring the Magnuses to safety.

She feigned lightheadedness and had her parents apparate her home, where she immediately floo'ed the Potters.

Fleamont and Euphemia had been family friends of the Simmons since before McCall was born. She was familiar with the uniquely kind way they treated their houseelves, the lavish spoiling they bestowed on their only son, and the Muggle Christmas decorations they decked their house out in when December rolled around each year.

But most importantly, McCall was familiar with the quiet resilience of Fleamont Potter; how he refused to stand down from issues he believed and pursued a task until it was well past the point of completion. He was matched only by his partner, Euphemia; a woman of aggressive passion and painful sarcasm. She had an underdog complex like no other and spent the large majority of her life physically fighting to protect those who were unable to protect themselves. Together, they created a dream team of power, determination, and strength.

They swung into action as soon as McCall conveyed the gossip she had overheard.

Rosier Sr. was a confirmed Death Eater, but he had evaded arrest through a combination of his own diplomacy and covertness. The Ministry had no trace nor manner of tracking him, so finding him was no easy task. Additionally, arresting him because of overheard teenage gossip would not hold in a trial and he would be freed, likely escalating the danger of the situation.

The Magnuses were relocated before sunrise the next morning.

…

Over the following four months, Olivia managed to sneak owls past her parents to Luke. He was sworn to secrecy, of course, and honestly did not know anything incriminating about her situation until the last letter in April-the one that really changed the game.

He was never given an option to respond to her post. They simply served as brief check-ins to let him know she was safe and hoped to see him soon. Every couple of letters, he would be privy to a detail or two. He learned that she was studying remotely, a sort of self-study with on-demand access to McGonagall's help (via a secure floo network) if she ever needed it. She told him about how stupid she felt only knowing English-this allowed him to deduce that she was outside of Britain. He got to read about the humorous questions that arose when Olive ventured Charms homework help from her dad, a Muggle architect.

Never did she mention the reason for her absence or the whereabouts of her relocation.

Additionally, she gave specific instructions not to inform McCall about her contact.

He found this particular request interesting considering the closeness of the girls. At the time, of course, he had no knowledge of McCall's involvement with the situation. So, he watched across classrooms and silently observed the Gryffindor table to note the gloominess of his girlfriend's best mate.

…

 _Luke!_

 _Hello, hi, hey, wotcher, greetings!_

 _As always, I hope you are miserable without me. I miss you terribly, but I will refrain from further detail because I need your head to be average size when I get to kiss you again. But enough of that._

 _I talked to Dumbledore last night and heard some horribly disturbing news. Lily Evans was attacked? Dumbledore said it was Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery. Maybe Snape, too?_

 _Against the wishes of my parents and_ certainly _the wishes of Dumbledore (which means hush hush), I've decided to finally fill you in a bit because I think the information may prove useful in light of recent events._

 _Over winter hols, McCall overheard those_ same _Slytherin gits talking about my family and some alleged plan to...well, kill us._

 _I know-cheerful stuff, eh?_

 _She told the Potters who told Dumbledore who organised a group of aurors to get us out of England and in hiding. I'm still not going to go into detail on this because I'm not a_ total _idiot and I am at least slightly considering the potential of this getting in the wrong hands. (I hope you are proud of me, Ravenclaw boyfriend of mine.)_

 _Rosier (the dad, not the kid) was supposed to do the deed, but he was hit with a nasty surprise when he found out we moved to a different country in the middle of the night. I assume he never told You-Know-Who, because...well...would you?_

 _I'm telling you all of this because a) it's time I finally give you some details and b) I want you to use this to help Lily._

 _I won't claim to be as brilliant as you, but I figure that if Rosier found out I've been communicating back and forth with Hogwarts students, he'd be pretty pissed. And I figure this letter could serve as some evidence to put him in Azkaban for good._

 _Maybe it's all nothing, but Lily's a Muggleborn like me, and I feel obligated to give her the best chance at success! So, talk to Mary Macdonald or someone else with invested interest and figure out a plan. I believe in you._

 _As an added bonus of vanity, if you manage to get Rosier in Azkaban, it may be safe for me to come back to Hogwarts!_

 _I love you and miss you more than you can possibly know, my love. I'll see you soon (but not soon enough)._

 _Olive_

…

Of course Lily knew what had happened that night by the lake. She'd known for a _week._

Breaking James or Sirius was impossible and Mary held her ground...but Anna was _weak_. It only took a sob story of how much Lily had _missed her_ and how desperately she wanted things to go back to normal _away from all the secrets._ Anna Brodeur had cracked like a teacup.

The poor thing at least had the decency to feel guilty afterward, but, in all truthfulness, she was just happy that she didn't have to keep lying. Girls like Mary Macdonald were made for that sort of thing. But not Anna.

Lily had promised not to say anything to Mary or the boys, partly because she did not want Anna to get in trouble, but mostly because she wanted _them_ to come to _her._

She had given James the benefit of the doubt that night in the common room.

Honestly, she didn't understand why he wouldn't tell her what was going on. Sure, she may have nagged them about impulsiveness and idiocy a bit, but did they really think she would stop them from helping arrest a known Death Eater? Much less the father of one of her own attackers? It wasn't as if the boys were _dueling_ a bunch of grown death eaters. From what Anna said, the Potters would be there from the beginning. Easy and painless. The boys were just showing up to do the last bit of baiting and watch the action.

So why wouldn't he just _tell_ her? Did he really think her that much a twat? That she would go directly to Dumbledore and _report_ them?

She felt as if she deserved more credit than that, the events of the past semester considered. James was her _friend_ , now...or so she thought.

…

"You're joking, right?"

James glared in response.

"Oh, _c'mon_ ," Sirius groaned with an exhausted eyeroll.

James huffed, reshouldering his bag as he hovered above the bench.

"What's wrong?" Peter's eyes flickered between Sirius' incredulous frown and James' rigid stance.

"Just like that?" Sirius ignored Peter, choosing to address the messy-haired wizard. "It's all done and over, so we're just back to how it was before?"

"Before?" Peter's nose scrunched up.

"Hush," Remus muttered to the small boy, shaking his head and redirecting his attention away from the escalating spectacle. He had been witness to _this_ interaction too many times this term and it was getting real old, _real fast_..

"I don't see why you expected any different," James said, cooly.

"Because I thought maybe you _grew up_." Sirius offered, with a scoff. When James reached for the wand jutting out of his pocket, Sirius held up his hands in surrender, pushing up from the table. "Okay, okay. Sit back at your throne. I'm not looking for a fight." He took a last swig of pumpkin juice and set it back down on the table, grabbing his book bag from the floor. "If the other night was any show for it, though... _you_ apparently _are."_

He swept toward the exit of the Great Hall, squeezing Lily's shoulder as he walked by. She looked up with a start, watching his departure with a frown of confusion. She swivelled on the bench to see the spot at the table he had come from and locked eyes with James.

It had been a while since she had caught him staring at her, but his stomach settled into it's familiar twist as soon as her emerald greens met his milky browns.

…

He was avoiding her. _That_ much was obvious.

It had been two days since the debacle with Rosier and James Potter still hadn't spoken to her _once._

To be fair, she had intended to avoid him herself for a few days until she stopped being upset about his failure to include her in his little showdown. But there was no fun in purposefully ignoring if they were ignoring you, _too_.

She saw the short fit of tension at breakfast between him and Sirius, which only confirmed what she had already expected; that relationship was means to an end. Apparently, the end had been reached.

"Oi! Black!"

The shaggy-haired wizard paused in his jaunt toward the boys' stairs. He looked over at her spot on the couch with a questioning eyebrow.

"Get over here."

His mouth twitched and his eyes jumped toward the stairs. "I need to-"

"Sirius. Come on."

He paused for a moment before expelling a defeated sigh. "Yeah, okay." He swung his legs over the back of the couch and plopped into the seat next to Lily, before turning his body toward her. "What's up, Ginge?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You tell _me_. Why were you fighting again?"

"I wasn't-"

She fixed him with a dangerous glare.

"Same ol' stuff, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders, attempting to don an air of indifference. It didn't fool Lily for a second, of course.

"What about you and me?" she added.

"What _about_ you and me?"

"Are we...good? You haven't spoken to me in a couple days and then-"

"Ginge." He cut her off with a shake of his head and a look of light amusement. "We'll always be good."

Lily opened her mouth, prepared for a quick retort, but closed it as she took in his small, affectionate smile. "I just…"

"I figured you'd want space." he explained. "Just in case...I don't know. I thought you'd be miffed when you heard."

"I _was_ miffed. _Am_ miffed."

"So...you heard." he filled in the blanks.

"Yes, tosser. You boys are absolute idiots and I'll need a couple days before I can begin to rationalise the bravery aspect of it because I really need to wallow a bit. I hope you can understand."

"Of course," he grinned.

"So why is Potter avoiding me?"

"Er, I don't know if I'm the-"

"Sirius," she groaned in frustration. "I'm tired of the secrets. Just tell me what his deal is."

"I reckon part of it has to do with him thinking you'll hex his balls off."

"Only part of it?"

"Well, I can't give away _all_ of Prongs' secrets," Sirius winked, throwing his arm behind her on the couch. She rubbed at her eyes in frustration and leaned into his elbow.

"I think I hate you," she sighed.

His deep bark-like laugh exploded from his throat as he pulled her toward him. "Can't please 'em all."

The two teenagers sat for several minutes, the silence comfortable and familiar, yet heavy. Most of their housemates were at their various extracurriculars or getting last minute O.W.L. or N.E.W.T. studying in.

"It's Thursday. Why aren't you at dueling club?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"Eh," Lily responded, nose scrunched and eyes closed.

"I thought you were enjoying it?"

"Wanna know a secret?" Lily hummed from his shoulder.

"I thought you were tired of those," he quipped back with a grin.

She swatted him, readjusting her weight. "I'm hiding from Ben Soares."

" _What?_ " Sirius yelped, apparently finding a great deal of humour in this. "You're joking."

Lily scrambled to sit back upright, glaring at him with a pout. " _No_ , and this isn't _funny_ , okay? I think he's going to ask me to the last Hogsmeade weekend and if he does, so help me God, I will actually die."

"I can't believe this," he laughed. "Of all the things he's been insecure about, he manages to get _this_ right!"

"I don't think _insecure_ is the right word to describe Ben," Lily frowned in confusion.

"No, no, not Ben," he waved her off, holding his stomach as the laughter continued to fill the room. "This is the best day of my life."

"I don't understand anything that is happening right now." Lily said, dryly, her arms crossed as she watched Sirius' recovering form.

"Lily," Sirius gasped, suddenly struck with inspiration. "You have to say yes."

"I will certainly _not!"_ she cried in outrage.

"Oh, c'mon, _please_ , do this for me," he begged.

" _What are you talking about?"_ Lily demanded.

Sirius shook his head, clearing away the remaining bit of humour. His deep grin settled into an easy smile. "Okay, just think about it like this," he started. "Ben is a nice enough bloke, right? Smart and booky and Muggleborn so you can talk and swoon over Dickens with him. Why _wouldn't_ you say yes?"

"Um, because I have zero feelings for him?"

"That's no matter," Sirius assured her with a wave of his hand. "Blokes go on dates with birds when they have zero feelings all the _time_!"

Lily glared.

"Right," Sirius nodded, quickly. "And we are obviously the _far_ inferior sex because of it."

"I'm not going on a date with him."

"Who else are you going to hang out with in Hogsmeade?"

"Mary? Anna? The mates I _always_ hang out with..."

"Nope. They both have dates...which you should know, by the way. Some mate _you_ are."

"Then, I'll hang out with _you_."

"Negative. I can't go to Hogsmeade."

Lily's neck swiveled toward him. "I thought your ban got lifted."

He winced. "Yeah, that was the _old_ ban, from the...er Snape thing."

"You have _another ban_?" she said in surprise.

He fixed her with a look of obvious confusion. "Uh, yeah. Dumbledore got rather shirty after he found out about James' fake letter to his parents and all that. The Mungo's report for Rosier came in last night, too, and-"

" _What?_ "

Sirius' mouth snapped shut as his eyes widened, fearfully. "What?" he echoed, with much more apprehension.

"What are you talking about...Mungo's? And why was Dumbledore angry?" Her eyes narrowed at his shrinking posture. " _Sirius_."

"Er, just out of curiosity…" his voice took on an squeaky quality she had never heard fall from the lips of Sirius Black, "when you said you knew about the other night...what exactly did you mean?" His hand rubbed at the back of his neck, anxiously. " _What_ exactly do you...know?"

"You baited Rosier onto school property. The Potters were waiting to arrest and take him to Azkaban." she supplied with a frown. "What exactly do _you_ know?"

Sirius swallowed. "That I should go up to the dorm and leave this conversation immediately."

She grabbed his shoulder roughly. "Sirius Black, sit your arse down and start talking."

And so he did. From beginning to end, he filled her in on the details of Operation Dick the Dickheads: from its basic planning stages to its eventual implementation. He didn't hold back from expressing his frustration at James' deliberate lie or the pickle it almost got them truly stuck in.

"I thought _you_ were the impulsive one," said Lily, leaning her head into the couch, spent and exhausted.

"Apparently not when your life's on the line," he offered lamely.

Her lips pursed. "My life _wasn't_ on the line. Those boys got expelled. I'm _fine_."

"Alright, first off, you're _not_ fine. But we'll ignore that for now, yeah?" he hastily added at her reddening face. "Secondly, you and I both know that just because three Slytherins got thrown out of the castle, doesn't mean you're completely safe. As long as this shite is going down, you're in danger, Ginge. Those are just the facts."

Lily pouted. "Yeah. I know." Then, after a moment, "He still didn't have to try and dismember the guy."

"James doesn't really do the whole _in moderation_ thing."

She snorted. "Shocking."

"I'm not exactly sure what Dumbledore told him, but he's been in a state since that night. Said he's on _super probation_ , whatever the hell that means." Sirius rolled his eyes, loosening his tie. "Sounds like a case of guilt to me."

"Well, he _did_ almost kill a man."

Sirius eyed her curiously. "I have to admit, Evans, you're taking this particularly well."

"What exactly did you expect?"

"Honestly? No idea. Probably one less bollock, at the very least."

"Ew."

He laughed, heartily, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, sorry. I just…" He gathered himself. "You seem very...cool."

"I'm still processing."

"Ah." Sirius nodded. "Well, let me know when you're...through with that."

"Sirius," Lily called as he pulled himself from the couch. He turned with a lifted eyebrow. "I'm sorry he's treating you like shite again."

He released a breathy chuckle, pushing a stray curl out of his eyes. "It's therapeutic for him."

"It's _awful_."

"Ginge...blokes, we...we aren't like you. We can't talk our feelings out like girls and go back to plaiting each other's hair." He shrugged a shoulder. "James has to get it out of his system."

"And how long does that take?"

"Like, I said...James doesn't do anything in moderation," he grinned, toothily.

"Get it out of his system," Lily echoed with a frown. "What does that mean?"

His grin only grew. "It means he's probably going to have to punch my lights out before this thing has a chance of blowing over."

Lily's jaw dropped. "P-punch? I don't-"

"Ginge." He held a gentle hand up, offering her a half-smile. "It's alright. I'm a big boy."

She returned his smile with a sardonic one of her own. "Very funny. Just...don't let him push you around so much, yeah?"

"Please don't be my Mum."

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius, I just-"

"It just doesn't sit well for my mum to be as hot as you are. Plus, my real mum is bloody scary, see, and so it presents an incredibly strange Oedipus complex when I imagine-"

"You better bloody _sprint_ up those stairs before I hex you into oblivion, Sirius Black."

His cackle echoed through the common room as he followed her command.

…

"Hey."

James' eyes snapped up. "What are you-"

"Did you do the assignment?"

"Er-"

"It's fine. You can copy mine."

He swallowed. "Not to be rude or anything," James started, pulling at his hair, "but what are you doing here?"

Lily looked up from where she had been rummaging through her bookbag. "What?" she said, casually.

His mouth twitched. "This is Transfiguration. You sit back there." He nodded his head toward the vacant seat by Mary.

"Eh. Haven't been able to see the blackboard lately. _Aha!_ " She raised her parchment in victory. "Did you actually not do it? I thought this class was your best."

"I did it," he said quickly, blinking several times to recenter himself in the classroom. Lily Evans was sitting next to him and it was _fine_. No need to be _weird_ , for Merlin's sake. They spoke to each other all the time these days. He could be cool, he could be calm, he could be collected. "Right here." He held up his own parchment.

"Oh," Lily said, sounding slightly disappointed. "Well, good. Hand it here, I'll take them to the front."

In a daze, he passed over his parchment and watched as she slid out of the seat and sauntered toward McGonagall's desk at the front of the room, dropping the assignments on the stack.

His anxiety personified into sweaty palms as he considered the truth about his relationship with Lily Evans. They _hadn't_ been speaking to each other every day lately. In fact, he had been purposefully avoiding her because she had to _know_ by now and a part of him thought if he just left it untouched and unvocalised for the rest of eternity, he could continue to live in an ignorant bliss that didn't involve him losing any and all progress with the witch.

It had all been brought on by himself-he knew that and he wasn't necessarily even abashed by it, but, even so, it wasn't a reality he felt like considering at the moment. It was rather difficult to avoid thinking about the issue when the Issue was sitting next to him for fifty minutes, her vanilla shampoo floating into his head and shutting down his nervous system.

Which was really stupidly ironic nomenclature, by the way, considering how the deterioration of his brain functions only ended up making him _more_ nervous. What was even _with_ that, human body?

On top of Lily Evans and the nervous system and all those topics included, now there was this Headboy rubbish to consider and-

"Well," Lily sighed, slipping back into the desk, "last assignment of the year. Can't say I'll miss it." She rubbed her hands together like she was dusting the remnants of Transfiguration off onto the tabletop.

James managed an uncomfortable smile. "Yeah, er, huzzah." Why was she trying to make small talk with him? Why was he _letting_ her?

"Two more weeks and we'll be seventh years," Lily said incredulously, with a dramatic sigh. "It's amazing."

"Well, we had to get here eventually." James shrugged with an awkward sort of chuckle.

"I'm not mad at you," she said abruptly.

His head snapped toward her with a painful jerk that was quite inexcusable considering he had been expecting this segway since she sat in the seat.. "What?!"

"About Rosier. I'm not mad." she replied, evenly, her posture mimicking the rest of her countenance-perfect. Her eyes remained steadily focused on something far away at the front of the classroom.

"All right, class is beginning which means your time for copying your neighbour's assignment has concluded. Please bring forth any work, shoddy or otherwise." McGonagall's crisp voice pierced the hall.

" _What?_ " James repeated, lowering his voice to a frantic whisper as he leaned toward Lily.

She shook her head quickly, now focusing her gaze on McGonagall.

"What were you just saying?" he demanded in a lowered voice

" _Potter._ " she hissed. "Class started."

He struggled to withhold a groan as he swivelled back toward the front. Transfiguration had never seemed less appealing than this very moment. How could she _do_ that? Just drop a bomb and turn her pretty head away. And what was she expecting? That he would just nod his head and merrily go about his day?

Yeah, right.

…

"As you all know, there will be no assignments for the remainder of the term. I ask that you please withhold your owls of gratitude. The rest of the staff do not quite appreciate the onslaught of feathers decorating their dinner as much as one may expect." She shot a pointed glare at Sirius over her glasses. His grin only grew. "Class is dismissed."

"Evans!" James immediately cried, scooping his bookbag from the floor and rising to follow her out of the class.

"Yes?" she blinked owlishly at him, shouldering her own bag.

"Just now. What you were saying about-"

"Potter!"

"Oh, Merlin's beard," groaned James as he listened to the incessant clicking of McGonagall's heels.

"Merlin is not here, Potter. Unfortunately for you, I am and I wish to speak with you."

"Well, actually I was just about to-"

"It was not a request."

Lily seemed to be withholding a smile. "Well, I'll just be going then. See you tomorrow, Professor."

"Evans, _wait_ , I-"

"Kindly close the door on your departure, Miss Evans."

"Yes, ma'am," Lily nodded, shooting a quick apologetic smile at James before scurrying out.

He turned toward the Transfiguration professor with a grumpy glare and crossed arms. "Did I do something wrong?"

"The fact that you immediately jump to that conclusion forces me to approach this topic with trepidation, I must admit."

He was unimpressed. "Can this be quick?"

The older witch offered him a sharp look of offense. "You have chased that girl for six years, Potter. I am _quite_ sure she will still be around in five minutes."

James sighed in annoyance, void of the effort it would take to defend himself from her harsh-yet truthful, of course-claim..

"Now, listen closely, Potter." McGonagall began. "The Headmaster has spoken with me about your discussion the other night and I-"

"Professor, please. I don't want to talk about this."

"And I don't want to remind Mr. Filch for the thirtieth time this term that his cats may not eat off of the Hogwarts staff table!" she cried.

It was in moments like this that James remembered just how much he loved this woman.

She took a deep breath, regaining her composure. "We all must do things we do not like, Potter. _Now_...Headboy."

"I know." James rolled his eyes. "It's stupid."

"It is _not_ ," she looked outraged by this statement. "Potter, you are one of the most competent students I have ever instructed."

James swallowed, uncomfortable and blindsided by her praises.

"You are also one of the most impulsive."

"Thanks," he deadpanned. _This_ is the kind of dialogue he was familiar with when it came to McGonagall.

"You act without thinking and you lead _completely_ with your heart. As brilliant as that mind is, I sometimes wonder if it only knows how to work part-time."

Was this _going_ somewhere?

"That is _precisely_ what Hogwarts needs right now."

Oh. So Dumbledore wasn't alone in his barminess.

How nice for the old wizard to have a companion in his _complete insanity._

"I just wanted you to know that I am supportive of the Headmaster's decision and I do not plan to allow your pigheadedness to ruin what could quite possibly be the best thing to happen to this school, Potter.

…

"EVANS!"

Lily paused in her gait toward lunch. Anna and Mary shot her sideways glances.

"I think you're being summoned," Anna pointed out with a light smile.

"EVANS! WAIT UP."

"Why does this feel familiar?" Mary asked with mock confusion. Her eyes went wide as she gasped dramatically. "OH, wait! I got it!" Then, her eyes narrowed. " _It's how we spent the first five years at this bloody school._ "

Lily sighed. "He just has to talk to me about something."

"Something," Mary echoed with a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, whatever, see you at lunch."

The redhead offered a half-smile to her friends as she turned to meet James' approaching figure.

"Merlin," he gasped, out of breath as he met her in the hall, "you're fast."

"What is it, Potter?" Lily cocked her head.

"Can we…" He ruffled his hair anxiously. "Can we talk about the whole...y'know?"

She paused, her lips pursed, before, "Okay."

"Really?" His eyes lit up in surprise. "Okay, yeah, great, let's...uh, let's go this way."

Lily followed him, watching curiously as he withdrew a crumpled parchment from his back pocket and murmured something to it. Her neck craned to see what he was looking at, but he seemed to sense her closeness and shoved it back in his pocket, rapidly.

"This room is good." he said, pushing on the slightly ajar door.

"It's a broom closet," Lily narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest as she stopped in front of it.

He shifted uncomfortably, pulling at his hair. "It's not...I'm not...," he groaned in anguish, "please?"

She blew a puff of air. "Okay."

"The classrooms are all full right now," he explained quickly, scrambling into the small space and trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and the witch.

"It's fine," said Lily, closing the door behind them. "Lumos." She held her wand in the space between them.

"So," he started.

She took a seat on a rickety crate, smoothing her skirt over her lap. "Sirius told me what happened the other night."

"Bastard," James groaned.

"Hey," she said sharply. "I'm glad he did. God knows you weren't going to." She fixed him with a withering glare. "You've been avoiding me."

"No, I haven't."

"Yeah, _okay_ ," she quipped, dryly. "Why didn't you just tell me beforehand?"

He cocked an obvious eyebrow in an _are you kidding me_ manner.

"Okay," she allowed. "I would have yelled at you, you're right. But, Potter, I'm not the self-righteous snob I used to be. Did you think I would report you or something?"

"I don't know," he conceded with a sigh. "I just thought you'd be...upset."

"Potter, I've spent the majority of my time at Hogwarts being upset with you and that fact has hitherto failed to deter your stupidity."

He pulled a small grin at this.

"I don't like being lied to. And I don't like my friends putting themselves in danger because of _me_." she continued.

His eyes met hers in a dizzying sort of way. The soft light of her illumination spell mixed with the milky golds of his irises in an enticing way. His thick eyebrows dropped in concentration as he continued to study her and she considered for the first time just how very close they were.

"Are we?" he asked, quietly.

"What?" she asked, her own voice barely audible to herself.

"Friends."

The room must have been smaller than she had originally thought because oxygen was certainly difficult to come by, if the tightening of her throat and huskiness of his voice were anything to show for it.

"I think so." she managed to choke out.

James Potter, who had just been fiddling with his hair and his uniform like an awkward pre-pubescent, had pulled an impressively fluid transition to the stony, intense wizard who sat mere inches in front of her. The sharpness of his jawline was reinforced by the fierce, uncompromising nature of his gaze. She failed to recall a time she had felt so entranced by an expression.

"So if I had told you," he began in a whisper she strained to hear, "that I was going to bait Death Eaters onto Hogwarts grounds, intentionally taunt them to the point of anger, and punch one in the face, you would have said…" he spoke slowly, leaving it open-ended.

"Why," she breathed.

"And if I would have said because of you?"

The little bit of oxygen she had been struggling to seek escaped in a dynamic whoosh.

"What?" she asked, incredulously.

"They almost killed you, Evans." he whispered, a tender, yet anguished air to his words now.

"It...it wasn't them. It was-"

"Lily." he stopped her. "Those Slytherins were just a small part of the big picture."

"Yeah," she sighed to herself. "I know."

He leaned forward, his knees bumping against her own. "I can't just let monsters hurt people I care about. I've tried...believe me," he trailed off into a dark chuckle.

 _People I care about_. Why did that feel so heavy, all of a sudden?

"You-Know-Who and his followers. They...they're not going to stop what they're doing just because a couple of them get kicked out of school."

"I _know_ that, James. But it's not up to you to even the score. Justice will-"

"Fuck justice, Evans." he shook his head in frustration. "I'm tired of sitting the sidelines in a losing battle."

"You're seventeen."

"So are you. So were those Slytherins. Do you think they considered that before they assaulted you?" He leaned even closer, the faint mint of his breath clouding her senses into a pitiful mush.

"That's not the point."

"Lily. Age doesn't matter in this war. I'm old enough to know that what's happening is wrong, which means I'm old enough to _fight_."

"But-"

"I _have_ to fight." he said, lowly, painfully, like it was a curse that had been bestowed upon him against his will.

"Not for _me_." Lily urged, her own voice reflecting the gravity of his implications.

" _Especially_ for you, Evans."

This was it. One of those moments featured in every film, every book, every medium that shows a false reality. But it wasn't false, because she, Lily Evans, was here experiencing it with _James Potter_.

An actual magnet was in this small broom closet, pushing her insecurities and pulling her closer to James, in all senses of the word. The smell of his mint breath was no longer the only evidence she had of his closeness. She could physically _feel_ her fringe flutter with every deep breath he dispelled.

His eyes, which had been so possessively locked on hers for several minutes, trained on her lips. She found her own line of sight a reflection of his, but she couldn't find the willpower to be embarrassed about it. They really were _beautiful_ lips and she chastised herself for not noticing before.

Before she could overthink it, his hand was lifting from his knee and caressing the back of her neck. She didn't know she was cold before but she _must_ have been because the warmth that erupted from his touch felt like his hand was molding to her skin.

And there it was, his approaching face and her moment of understanding because she _wanted_ this and for how long, she had no idea.

"Bugger, shite, _fuck_ ," he hissed, shooting away from her as her wand hit the cold, stone ground with a clatter.

Her eyes shot open and she reeled her own neck back to her respective corner with a frantic start.

His hand was already in his hair, pulling fiercely at the wild tresses as he caught his breath. "I...I-"

"It's okay!" she cried, quickly, holding her hands up to stop his frantic ramble.

James' eyes met hers again, this time manic and frightful. "I have to go." he said, hurriedly, bumping various crates as his lanky body rose to its full height and he pushed out the door and shot out of the closet.

Lily watched the door swing shut behind him, the events of the last few minutes rushing over her like ice water.

Bugger, shite, _fuck_ indeed.

…

 **A/N: As always, thanks for reading and please feel free to review/ask any questions/say hello.**

 **Follow me on tumblr if ya wanna be pals: giggles-and-freckles**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	25. Chapter 25

"What's wrong with you?"

"What?" Lily asked quickly, shaking out of her reverie. "Nothing's wrong with me. Why would something be wrong with me? What do you mean _what's wrong with you?_ "

Sirius raised an amused eyebrow at her pitchy, frantic ramble. The two Gryffindors had been in the Common Room for an hour-Lily working on prefect stuff and Sirius mainly just serving as a distraction. The redhead had been twitchy and zoned out for the entire hour, randomly going into pensive moments of staring a hole through a points deduction sheet.

"Yeah, okay." he snorted.

"Just...ready for summer." Lily supplied with a huff, pulling her ponytail out of her hair. She flinched when her hand grazed the back of her neck. The same place someone _else's_ hand had been only hours before.

"I'll pretend like I believe you for the sake of conversation." Sirius quipped. "Any summer plans?"

"I'll be in Cokeworth helping with the shop all summer. Gotta pay my dues since I avoid it all year, as Petunia so _loves_ to remind me." She leaned under the small table to grab the House points sheets she was supposed to turn into McGonagall yesterday.

"But you love that flower shop."

"I do," Lily nodded, shuffling through the parchments. "But I get tired of the monotony."

"And the irony." Sirius grinned.

" _And_ the irony," she sighed in agreement. " _Is your name_ actually _Lily or do they make you go by that when you work here?_ " She adopted her best posh impression.

Sirius barked in laughter. "I'm sure you smile politely and let them go about their day."

It was her turn to snort. "Right. Never any sarcasm."

" _Lovely Lily_."

"God, I hate that," Lily groaned, leaning back into the chair. "One more bloody year of Slughorn."

"You can't honestly say that Slughorn is the thing you most want to be short of." Sirius leered. "Uniforms? Curfews?"

"Like you ever follow either of those," Lily laughed, good-naturedly, clicking the Muggle pen she refused to give up and letting her eyes scan the first of the point deductions slips.

"You're adding extra points for Gryffindor, right?"

"I have a moral _code_ , Sirius."

"So no more than a twenty-five point boost?"

"Thirty," Lily amended, with a small smile. "Now hush and let me deceive the Hogwarts faculty in peace and quiet."

'Deceive' was probably not an accurate term, though, because, as far as Lily knew, prefects from every House had been lying about points for decades. Points deducted by professors were well-managed for the most part, but even McGonagall had been known to cushion the Gryffindor tally on occasion. There was no way Dumbledore didn't know exactly what went on among the prefects and head students, yet the point calculations still remained in the delegation of the student leadership, so Lily assumed it wasn't that big of a deal.

"You're worse than Moony."

" _Moony_ will be a bit incapacitated over the next couple days, so I'm soloing it." she said, sending a dark look toward the common room window. The waxing gibbous hung ominously against the inky black blanket of night, seeming to smirk at the teenagers as it hinted at what was to come for their friend in a couple nights.

Lily's eyes moved to Sirius, who was staring pensively out the window, eyes darkened in thought and pain.

"Have you…" she shifted in her seat, setting the pen down, "I mean...did you talk to them?"

Sirius blinked, turning back toward the redhead. "What?"

"You know," she sighed, "about going out there with them this time?"

Sirius released a dark bark of laughter. "Yeah, right."

"Sirius. They need you."

"I _know_ they do. Your hero moment on Pete last month wasn't the first close call we've ever had out there, alright?" he bit back, before taking a deep breath and speaking quieter. "I don't want to poke the bear."

"Remus is-"

"That's exactly my _point_ , Evans. Arguing about where I get to sleep or where I sit at breakfast is one thing. I can afford those battles. But this is Remus' thing, okay? It's his _life_. I don't want to turn it into the next episode of the Potter-Black showdown and risk his safety or anyone else's."

"But if you _don't_ go, then they-"

"Then they will handle it like they have every other month this term." he said, with finality, though if you asked Lily...he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Lily was not at all appeased, but she knew stubbornness when she saw it. Any other day, she would try approaching James and attempt to convince him to allow Sirius to join them at full moon. But not after the broom closet rendezvous.

Not a chance.

So she shut her mouth and returned her gaze to the points sheets.

"Let's talk about uncomfortable subjects for you, Ginge." Sirius said, dryly. "Petunia. Go."

Lily finished the mental math and moved on to the next sheet. "No."

"So you get to push on my bruises, but I mention your sister and suddenly mum's the word?"

She sighed in frustration. "The wedding is next month. I'm not going. She won't be subjected to my freakishness. I won't be forced to watch her snog the walrus. Everyone is happy, happy, happy." Her hands shook in jazzy form to emphasise her excitement.

"But _is_ everyone happy?" he pressed, leaning toward her over the tabletop.

"It doesn't matter, Sirius. You read the letter; she doesn't want me there." She redirected her gaze to the work in front of her.

"But," he pushed, gently taking the pen from her hand and laying it down on the table, "do you think you'll regret it years down the road?"

She fixed him with a tired gaze. "No."

"Try again."

She groaned. " _Yes_ , okay? Are you happy? My big sister is getting married and I'm not invited. It bloody hurts to think about, but _that_ is exactly why I'm _not_. Mary, Anna, and I have a big plan to get properly pissed at the Brodeurs' that evening. I'll drink my weight in firewhiskey, puke for a couple hours, and then take a sobering solution. That'll be that. Tuney will be Mrs. Vernon Dursley and I'll never see her again."

"That sounds like a good plan."

She grabbed for the pen aggressively. "I don't _care_ if…" she snapped her neck back up to frown at him, "what did you just say?"

"It does," Sirius nodded, diplomatically, investigating his fingernails. "If you want to be a total wuss and just avoid your problems, then you should _definitely_ do that. Get smashed. Eat, drink, be merry!"

"That's not fair," she scoffed.

Sirius rolled his eyes in condescension. "C'mon, Ginge. Go out with a bang."

It was Lily who set her own pen down this time, giving her full attention to Sirius. "What does that even mean?"

"Use that pretty head of yours, Evans." A grin split across his face. "Crash the wedding."

Lily snorted, derisively. "So she can spend the rest of her life hating me?"

"According to you...she already does." he pointed out. "So you can lay down and let her stomp on you with her overpriced heels and overweight fiance... _or_ you can key into that Gryffindor heart and have some fun." His sneaky hand was slapped away once it got an inch from her heart ( _breast_ ).

"I can't go to that wedding." she grumbled, retrieving the pen.

"Let me know when you change your mind."

"I'm going to finish these tallies and you're going to stop talking."

…

Two more _bloody_ weeks until summer and he just had to ruin it.

Yes, this year had been weird, and yes, recent events had set his emotions to a more volatile firing rate, but he was _so close_ to a three month break from this place and these people and _her_.

They were _friends_ , dammit. She had said so herself a mere minute before his stupid mouth set on its target.

What kind of dick of a human was he, anyway? Jumping from their first ever mutual moment of understanding to _liplock_? Bloody hell, he was a prat.

If she hadn't been mad before, she sure as shite was now.

And her _face_ when they pulled apart. Merlin, she looked like she was going to _vomit_ and the fact that he was the source of that made him want to immediately jump off the Astronomy Tower.

"Hey, Prongs," Remus gave a casual chin-up as he came into the dorm. "No Quidditch?"

"Cancelled. Raining," he gestured toward the window.

Remus frowned. "Never stopped you before."

"Last week of practice. I'm feeling magnanimous."

"Uh huh," the werewolf said, slowly, throwing his bag onto his bed. "Well, anyway, Pete won't be back until after midnight because of detention...hey, wait a minute. Why aren't _you_ at detention?"

"I'm uh...serving in a different manner."

Remus blinked. "Was that supposed to be a dirty joke?"

"What?"

"Are you like...trying to imply you're doing sexual favours for Dumbledore or McGon-"

" _Bloody hell_ , NO!" James cried, a look of disgust ripping across his face.

"Okay, okay," Remus held his hands up in surrender. "You just haven't had _any_ detention, while Sirius and Pete have alternated every morning and every night this week. Plus, didn't you say you were on _super probation_?"

"Don't worry about it," James shrugged him off, pulling at his tie.

Because how was he supposed to explain to his best mate that his 'punishment' was being chosen as Head Boy. The very position that Remus had been eyeing for six years now.

"I'm gonna shower and get to sleep. I'm absolutely knackered."

"Hey, I meant to ask you," Remus said around the piece of chocolate frog he had just thrown in his mouth. "Where were you at lunch today?"

James froze in the loo doorway. "What?" he said quickly.

"Well, Minnie held you after Transfiguration, but you never showed up."

"I was, er...talking with her for a while."

"Oh, all right," Remus said, shrugging off his shirt. "Well, you missed a fun scene."

James kept his back toward his friend, still attempting to neutralise his face.

"Ben Soares told Mary and Anna that he's asking Lily to Hogsmeade."

James whipped around. " _What?_ "

"I know," Remus chuckled. "Guess you were right about that one afterall. The girls were freaking out, of course. Why do they _do_ that, by the way? He's just a bloke asking a girl on a date. Why do they have to get all screechy and-"

James tuned his friend out as he strived to process this news. Ben Soares was going to ask out Lily Evans. Lily Evans who he had just almost kissed in a bleeding _broom closet_.

"Not gonna lie, mate, I kind of thought she was warming up to you a bit there." Remus clicked his teeth. "Rotten timing."

"Is she...is she going to say _yes_?" Jame sputtered.

Remus shrugged, clambering into his bed. "No clue. The girls seemed to think so."

"Kill me, Remus."

The werewolf laughed as he rolled toward the wall. "Sorry, Prongs. We all knew the day of Lily's orientation to the dating world of Hogwarts would come eventually."

" _Kill. Me._ "

…

Why did he pull away?

Why did she want him to _not_ pull away?

What the _hell_ was going on?

She had read the same page of the points slip six times now and had still failed to absorb a single word. Her eyes danced mindlessly along the parchment as her mind worked up a frenzy.

James Potter. James Potter. James Potter.

God, _why?_

Where had these possibilities even _come_ from? And was attaching the word 'possibilities' to them giving them too much credit? She certainly couldn't bring herself to use the word 'feeling.'

The connotations of that were far more complex and terrifying and _irrational_ than she was willing to allow her mind to wander.

Besides, this was obviously a fluke. Fancy James Potter? Yeah, _right_. The boy was an absolute menace and she'd just as soon date a flobberworm. The almost-snog was purely hormonal. It wasn't _him_ , so much as the _environment_. The room was small, she was exhausted, he had said some nice things, his eyes were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, he-

Oh, _bloody hell_.

…

The next 24 hours carried on without fanfare. James avoided Lily like dragonpox, but it wasn't honestly that difficult of a task, considering her own effort to put as much space as possible between the two.

Classes were uncomfortable and suffocating as he struggled to keep his eyes facing forward. His body continued to betray him, apparently unable to be content without gauging her emotions every few minutes. Luckily, she was better at coldness than him and her eyes never moved from the professor or her parchment.

Dagger to the bloody heart.

"That's er...that's enough for today." James called from his broom, rubbing at the sweat under his glasses. His airbound team members began their descent as he hovered for an extra moment, attempting to clear his head.

It had been a practice from hell. He couldn't stop thinking about the day before and how _stupid_ he was. That had been projected onto his Quidditch playing with careless captaining and resulted in an injured seeker and exhausted team.

"Oi, McGuire," he shouted as he dismounted his own broom. The petite fifth year turned around, warily, holding her arm against her body. "Hold up." She waited dutifully.

He dropped his broom as he approached her. "Let me look at that arm."

"It's fine, Potter, I-"

"Let me see." he commanded, firmly.

She sighed and held out the bruised limb.

"Go see Harding and Pomfrey."

"No way!" she shouted, protectively pulling her arm back toward her body. "They'll bench me."

"I don't care. That looks terrible." He shook his head with authority before his face softened. "I'm sorry, by the way. I saw that you weren't covered and made you go for it anyway."

"It's all right." she said, softly, not dispelling the fact that it was entirely his fault. That made him feel _so_ much better about the whole situation.

"Shower and go straight to the hospital wing, all right? I'll swing by in a bit to see what Harding says."

Aloe nodded and jogged off toward the locker tent. He watched her depart, swiping a furious hand through his hair. The last game of the year-Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff-was this Sunday. They had already played them once last term and it had been an easy victory, but if James continued captaining like he had for the last two hours, it would be close.

Gryffindor was in the lead for the House Cup, but losing to Hufflepuff would severely hurt their points and make way for Slytherin to sweep. James would impale himself on his Nimbus before he let himself be the reason Slytherin got _any_ chance at the Cup.

He had almost made it toward the showers when he saw an ununiformed figure standing off to the side of the tent. He did a double take when he saw who the figure belonged to.

"Hey."

"Uh." James eloquently replied.

She grinned. "I saw the last few minutes of practice. You kinda suck, Potter."

He grimaced, sheepishly. "Not my best day." She continued to offer him a half-smile before he cleared his throat and ruffled his hair. "Listen, if you're here to see Aloe, she just went in to the showers. She'll probably be out in about fifteen minutes if you want to sit over there and-"

"James," Juniper stopped him. "I'm not looking for Aloe."

He blinked. "Oh, well, uh…"

"I wanted to talk to you for a quick minute, if that's okay?" she asked, an uncharacteristic timidness breaking through her usual easy grin.

"Yeah, sure," he walked over to her, and leaned against the wall next to her, "is...is everything okay?"

She nodded, silently, playing with the sleeve of her robe. "Yeah, everything's okay."

"All right," James said, sounding slightly relieved, "well then...how are you?"

June looked over at him and pulled a quick smile. "I'm...I'm good, thanks." Her shoulders dropped a bit as the tension dissipated in place of the familiarity of conversation with James Potter. "Only one more O.W.L."

"That's right!" he smiled, genuinely. "Charms, right?"

She nodded, enthusiastically.

"Oh, you'll ace it, for sure. Besides, Flitwick always gets soft and gives a few freebies on the written portion. You're golden."

"Thanks," she grinned. "I'm just ready for it to be over. What about you? Besides, apparently sucking at Quidditch...how have you been?"

He laughed, breathily. "It's been...a difficult couple of weeks."

"Lily." she said in understanding.

His head snapped toward her. "What?"

"Lily Evans," she continued, with furrowed eyebrows, as though what she was saying was the most obvious thing in the world. "She hasn't been doing so well since the...attack, right? I...I saw her getting sick in the loo after a prefect meeting one time." The witch cast her eyes toward her scuffed trainers, feeling guilty that she had witnessed the redhead's moment of emotion. "I heard that's a...pretty common occurrence."

James sighed, a strange mix of relief that she wasn't thinking what _he_ was thinking and nausea that her words were true settling in his stomach. "Yeah, it's...taking some time."

And, apparently, _snogging_ was the solution?

"That's expected," June shrugged. "I'm sure she's glad she has you."

"What?" he yelped again.

"You two are friends," she explained, slowly, frowning at James' jumpiness. "She needs people in her corner right now."

"Oh...right. Yeah, for sure." he replied quickly.

"Well, listen, I didn't come out here to just have a chinwag. I...I wanted to give you this." She withdrew a small mirror from her pocket.

"What?" James asked, incredulously. "No way! I should be giving you _mine_. Merlin, I should have done it weeks ago."

"No, I want you to keep both of them," she shook her head, pushing the glass into his hand.

"Junie, I can't take this from you. Your uncle made them. He-"

"My family has plenty of sets circulating. I'll get my hands on another pair someday, don't worry." she explained. "But I'm serious. I want you to have this. Please. It would really mean a lot to me."

"I…" he flipped the mirror around in his hand before looking up at her, "are you sure?"

"One hundred percent." she smiled.

"Thanks, June. You're amazing, do you know that?" And he meant it. How many other ex-girlfriends would manage this level of _civility_ , much less be so generous?

"I do, but the affirmation helps." she quipped, cheekily.

"Come here, you prat," he laughed, pulling her in for a hug.

It felt good to be hugging Juniper again. Sure, the circumstances were very different. But it felt nice to know there was at least one relationship in his life he hadn't completely botched.

"Potter, did you- _oh._ "

James and Juniper broke apart, turning to the new arrival. Anna Brodeur, still wearing her practice gear, stood frozen, icy blue eyes wide open.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you-"

"It's fine, Brodeur," James interrupted, holding up a hand. "What's up?"

The witch's eyes flickered between James and June. "I just...wondered if you wanted us to lock the supply closet up or leave it for you…"

"You can go ahead and lock it. I'm just gonna shower up at the castle. Hey," he said suddenly, turning back toward Juniper, "are you headed back up or waiting for Aloe?"

"I know better than to wait for her to take a shower after Quidditch." she laughed. "I'm headed back."

"Brilliant. Walk with me?"

June smiled and nodded.

"Oh! Anna." he snapped his fingers, spinning back around. "I'm so sorry. Lock up and just leave the key under the bench, yeah? You flew great today, by the way. Sorry I wasn't helping you much."

"No problem, Cap. See you tomorrow," she all but squeaked, hurrying away from the two teenagers.

"Is she always so jumpy?" June inquired, cocking her head.

"Girls are weird," he joked, shouldering his broom. "Let's go."

...

"They're back together!" Anna breathlessly squealed as she swung open the door to the girls' dorm.

"What?" asked McCall who, though still withdrawn and to herself, had brightened a bit since Luke's letter from Olivia.

"James and Juniper," the small blonde heaved, leaning on the door for support.

"What did you just say?" Lily demanded, her head snapping up from the book she had been reading.

"James Potter and Juniper Alessio. I just saw them...down at the," she drew a laboured breath, "Quidditch pitch."

"No, they're not," Lily shook her head, furiously.

"Uh, I just saw them," Anna deadpanned.

Mary snorted from her corner of the room. "Well, did we actually expect Potter to remain celibate for longer than two weeks?"

Something in Lily's stomach twisted, violently.

"Maybe they were just talking," McCall suggested, quietly.

"Maybe," Anna agreed, with a shrug of her shoulders. "But they had the whole _just got caught snogging_ thing going for them."

"S-snogging?" Lily sputtered, the space between her ears growing heavy and pressurised.

"Well, I didn't see it! But it sure was a touchy hug," the blonde whistled.

Lily felt her stomach give one particularly aggressive lurch and she barely managed to catapult herself into the bathroom before her dinner contents were released into the toilet. She kneeled on the bathroom floor for an extra moment, her energy completely spent.

"Lily?" Mary's voice called through the small lavatory. "Lils, are you alright?"

"Fine," the redhead managed, slapping at her cheeks to will some colour to return before she greeted her friend.

"Lily," Mary admonished, looking down at the defeated witch. She awkwardly folded her long legs beneath her and lowered herself to the floor next to Lily. "This can't keep happening."

Lily struggled to withhold a dark laugh. Sweet Mary thought this was the newest episode of Lily Evans' Post-Traumatic Stress Attacks. If only.

"I'm all right, really," the witch managed a smile. "Something at dinner just didn't sit right, I suppose."

"Have you...have you gone to Harding? Or even Mademoiselle Pomfrey? I went straight to her the other day for some Sobering Solution, and honest to Merlin, she was the cool-"

"I've talked to both of them." Lily shook her head, adjusting her body to be able to make eye contact with her friend...and not touch the toilet. "It's not treatable. Just something I've got to let...run its course, I guess."

"That's absolute rubbish."

"Yeah, well...the wizarding world isn't actually the most progressive," Lily laughed dryly.

"What…" Mary shifted uncomfortably before leaning closer to her friend. "If you don't mind me asking...what was it that triggered it...that time?"

Lily's stomach twisted with a new sensation: guilt. Her best mate wanted nothing more than to learn the ins and outs of Lily's anxiety so she could best control the environment that surrounded her friend. Truthfully, Lily could have easily lied to herself and went along with this reasoning. It made sense! She had had a particularly difficult time keeping meals down on a consistent basis ever since the attack. But, if she was being completely honest with herself...this wasn't that.

This was merely a hormonal, utterly _girl_ reaction to James _ruddy_ Potter and she'd be damned if she voiced that aloud.

"Like I said, just generic food poisoning."

"I don't believe you." Mary frowned.

"I know." Lily pulled a smile. "Help me up, yeah?"

…

Remus always snored loudest the couple of days leading up to the full moon.

When they were younger, the boys used to joke that the internal werewolf was being generous and allowing him to sleep extra hard in preparation for the rough night. After Peter, Sirius, and James succeeded in their Animagi transformations, they switched to joking that he was getting extra sleep for the other three.

As James listened to the rhythmic breathing of his friend, he allowed his mind to wander the lengths it had been longing to do all day.

What was he supposed to do about Lily?

He had really bungled that one up and he wasn't sure how to even begin repairing it. Talking to her seemed like a good start, but what the hell would he _say?_ An apology seemed weak and misplaced, but anything else seemed equally insufficient.

As his thoughts bumped around in the little corner of his mind that was marked off for _Lily Evans_ , he had to internally groan at the familiarity of it all. This battle had been going on for _years_ and he was bloody tired of it.

In fact, he had finally reached a place of mediocrity and complacency. He knew that he'd never be _over_ Lily Evans- _maybe_ after Hogwarts, when he wasn't forced to watch her jade eyes and smell her vanilla shampoo and hear her infectious laugh. But he had learned how to compartmentalise the part of his being that _needed_ to be near her far away from the more chilled-out _normal_ part that could make conversation and poke light fun.

Until he had put his lips so damn close to hers.

Perhaps the most bothersome aspect of the situation was the fact that he felt so confined by it. He couldn't tell Remus; not this close to the full moon anyway. "Hey, mate, I know that your body is about to painfully transform into a raging beast, but would you mind holding off on that and listening to my girl problems?"

Peter, Merlin bless him, just wasn't the girl talk type. Much to James' horror, he'd been going fairly steady with a Hufflepuff bird for a couple months now, so it's not even as if he'd have the normal incentive to listen to James' rambles.

Which left Sirius.

There was a certain sting that came from knowing the wizard was asleep in the next bed over, but still further away than Beauxbatons. Not that he hadn't tried to be closer to James, of course. James just wasn't there yet. In all honesty, James _wanted_ to forget the past and move on. It had been months, afterall, and even Remus had put the whole situation behind him.

Something about all of it just didn't sit right. Loyalty was the most important thing to James. It was the foundation of the Marauders and what they stood for and Sirius had _broken_ that. He _knew_ he was being dramatic and holding onto a grudge, but he just needed something concrete to end it for him. He couldn't do it himself.

He had _tried_.

…

"You look like you're feeling better today," Anna said, kindly, as the girls walked to breakfast the next morning.

Lily smiled. "I am."

"Bloody hell," Mary grabbed Lily's wrist pulling her to a stop. "Look at me," she demanded, forcefully gripping Lily's chin. "You're wearing _make-up_."

Lily shook her off with a groan. "It's just mascara, Mary. Don't piss yourself."

"But Lovely Lily doesn't _wear_ mascara. She's too good for that."

"Shut up, Mary," Lily sighed. "I just looked a bit more tired than usual, okay? Thought the mascara may help."

Mary's face fell and her lips twitched in guilt. "Shite, Lils, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," Lily held up a hand, walking ahead of her friends.

It was scary how easy it was to live a life of lies when you had already started.

…

"How are ya feelin', Moony?"

"Quiet, Peter," Remus hissed. "How many times do we have to tell you to _shut up_ when we're around people?"

Peter's eyes widened in embarrassment. "Sorry!"

"It's fine, Pete," Remus shook his head, offering a consolatory smile. "Just...try to be mindful, yeah?" Peter nodded, furiously. "I'm feeling alright, though, thanks for asking. Tomorrow will be the worst of it."

James continued to stir his coffee, mindlessly, letting the light bickering of his mates pass through his mind. He hadn't seen Lily since their...conversation...and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"James, you moved Quidditch practice up, right?" Peter said, his voice in a breathy whisper this time.

"What?" James blinked. "Oh, yeah. I'll be ready by nine."

"You don't have to move practice around for me, James," Remus jumped in. "You don't have to do _anything_. I've told you a million times, I'll be-"

"And we've told _you_ a million times, Moony. We're in this together. For better or for worse."

"How romantic," Mary snickered as she walked behind the boys to her own seat.

James immediately stiffened, shooting a glance at the tall girl to observe her company. He wasn't sure whether to feel regret or relief that Lily's figure had already walked past and not said anything to him.

Should he go over to her? Was she ignoring him on purpose? Was he supposed to ignore _her?_

Merlin, he was tired of this game.

"Morning, James, Remus, Peter!" a new voice called, sliding onto the seat next to him.

He turned, still blinking in confusion.

"Er, good morning...Juniper," Remus flailed. "How...how are you?"

"Great! There's bacon this morning!" she replied, brightly.

"Oh, bacon, yeah...yum." the werewolf nodded, numbly, before shooting a questioning glance at James. The bespectacled boy just shrugged in response.

"I hope it's okay I sat here," June said, suddenly, apparently just considering the implications of her choice. "Aloe slept in and there wasn't a spot with the other girls and so I…" she trailed off, nervously. "But I can move, seriously."

"It's fine," James smiled, warmly. "You're always welcome here."

She grinned before returning to her bacon.

...

"Told ya so," Anna sang, motioning down the table with her head as she poured a glass of water.

Lily stared at the couple, dumbstruck. They were broken up. He had told her _himself_. And from what she heard, the differences weren't something that would just disappear overnight!

Not to mention that he had almost kissed _her_.

"Pass the potatoes," Lily said, curtly.

"Lily?" a new voice sliced through her irritation.

"Ben!" she cheered with a huge grin, suddenly overtaken by a terrifying, flirty monster. "Sit, sit, sit!"

He looked hesitant for a moment, before a grin split across his face. "Okay, uh, hi. How are you?"

"I'm just swell! What about you?" she said, cheerily, continuing to load her plate as if the Ravenclaw always joined her for breakfast. Mary and Anna tried to catch her eyes but she deliberately kept her eyes on her plate.

"I'm doing well, thanks. Actually...I wanted to ask you something," his voice dropped a bit at the last part.

"I'm all ears!" Lily said, before erupting into an obnoxious giggle that echoed down the table. She was happy to see a certain pair of hazel eyes look away from Juniper Alessio at the sound.

"Well, this Saturday...it's the last Hogsmeade trip of the year. My last one ever, actually. And I wondered if you would...well I wondered if you wanted to go with me?"

"Like...on a daaaate?" she drawled, no real question intended. She didn't allow herself the normal rationale that would have told her to lower her voice.

His cheeks reddened. "Yeah, like...on a date."

She pretended to think for a moment, finding a certain, evil satisfaction out of his growing flush, before crying, "I'd love to!"

"Really?" his smile grew. "Oh, that's great!"

"I've been hoping you would ask." she smiled, sweetly, testing his personal space as she leaned in close.

The mascara hadn't been for him, but it seemed the original target was _preoccupied_ , so Ben Soares would do. She batted her lashes a couple of times for good measure. If this was the one time she would wear make-up all year, she better get a damn good use out of it.

"I'll get with you later this week so we can make a plan," said Ben, obviously flustered.

"Can't wait!" Her cheeks were actually hurting from the plastic grin she had been wearing for the interaction.

As he left for his own table, she returned her gaze to her breakfast plate. A fist pound on the table forced her head back up, though. She was met by two pair of bright eyes.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" Lily asked, defensively.

"Did you just...flirt?"

"Merlin's soggy arse, she _did_."

"I did _not!_ " Lily cried, though she knew she wasn't convincing anyone.

"And she has a _date!_ " Mary squealed.

…

A _date_. With _Soares_.

What deity did he royally screw over to be dealt this hand?

"June," James found himself suddenly saying.

"Mhmm?" she asked around her pumpkin juice.

"What are you doing Saturday?"

Remus and Peter's eyes widened.

"Saturday?" the witch frowned as she attempted to recall her schedule. "Nothing, I don't think."

"Come to Hogsmeade with me."

She froze with her juice glass at her lips for a moment before setting it down and slowly turning toward James. "C-come to...what?"

"Saturday. Hogsmeade."

Juniper swallowed. "I don't...I don't know if that's a good idea…"

"As friends," he amended quickly.

"Friends," she echoed, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Friends. Yeah...okay. Are you...are you sure?"

"Absolutely." he replied, resolutely.

"Well...okay."

"Really?" he brightened.

"As _friends_ ," she reiterated with a tentative quip of her lips.

"As friends." he bobbed his head up and down with a smile, leaning over to kiss her cheek before he got up and sauntered out of the Great Hall. June blinked in surprise before turning toward the remaining boys who snapped their heads back to their breakfasts in silence.

…

"So seems like you decided to take my advice."

"Shut up, Sirius."

"What changed?"

" _Shut up_."

"Did he snog you or something?"

" _Sirius_." she hissed, whipping around to glare at him, dangerously. "I'm not talking about this with you."

He chuckled, unfazed by her aggression. "You seemed to want to talk about it earlier when you announced it to the whole bloody Great Hall. _Oh, I'd just love to, Ben! A date! Oh joy! Can't wait to pick out my lipstick and curl my hair for you! Can we-_ HEY!" He yelped as he hit the floor, a result of Lily's tripping jinx.

"That was low, Evans."

"Leave me alone, Black."

Like she needed Sirius, of all people, reminding her of what a terrible person she was. She was going on a date with Ben Soares.

Ben Soares, who she had verbally proclaimed her _disinterest_ in, not a mere two days ago.

"Hey, wait up," Sirius called, jogging to catch up with her in the corridor, brushing the dust from the floor off his trousers. "Why are your eyes black?"

"What?" she squinted at him in confusion.

"Your eyelashes or whatever," he gestured toward them. "They're all dark. I've never seen them like that before."

"What are you- _oh._ " she shut her eyes in humiliation remembering the mascara she had impulsively applied in an effort to catch James' attention.

"And your skirt? Evans, don't take this the wrong way, but...is that from first year?"

Lily threw her head back and groaned, tugging at the skirt, which was, admittedly, significantly shorter than the ones she generally wore.

"Is that your boy-catching look?"

" _What is your problem?_ " she spun around again to look at him, past the point of irritation.

"Nothing, just trying to figure out why you picked this Tuesday to play the part of the Hogwarts tart," he shrugged his shoulders.

The quip hit its mark. To her horror, Lily felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. She clamped her eyes shut and turned away hurrying down the hall away from him.

"Ginge, wait, I'm sorry! I didn't-"

She slammed the door of the prefect bathroom in his face.

…

"Sooo," Remus drawled, eyeing James from his place on the hospital cot.

James stood nearby, leaned against a filing cabinet with his hands in his pockets. "She should be back soon." He chanced a quick glance at his wristwatch.

"I'm not worried about the potion." Remus dismissed the comment, waiting for his friend to catch on. When the other wizard continued to scuff his trainers on the floor, Remus sighed. "Why didn't you tell us that you and Juniper were back together?"

"What?" James' head snapped up. "We're not."

"Okay," the werewolf said slowly. "I hoped you would say that. _But_ why did you ask her to Hogsmeade?"

"It's just as friends." James explained.

"She seemed confused."

"We're newly friends."

"How new?"

"Last night."

"So you thought it would be a good idea to ask her on a date twelve hours later?"

"It's not a date," he defended, pushing off the cabinet. "Merlin, how long does it take to get some pepper-up?"

"Forget the potion, James. I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you."

"Nothing's going on!"

"Prongs," asserted Remus. "Super probation? Chewing out Sirius...again? Asking out Juniper?"

"I'm fine." James walked a few steps away, craning his head around toward Pomfrey's office. "Mademoiselle Pomfrey?"

Remus shook his head in defeat, heaving a deep breath. He had been friends with James long enough to know when the boy wasn't quite ready to be reaped on an issue. In the meantime, the werewolf would keep watering and pruning until the day when _James_ decided _James_ was ready to talk. He'd be ready to listen when that day came.

This is how it was being friends with James Potter. If you had asked Remus, James had been holding back some important matters for quite some time. But Remus was no stranger to wrestling his own monsters, so he generally chose to tread lightly when it came to pushing and probing at his friends for transparency.

…

"Hey."

Lily looked up from her parchment and smiled at Mary's figure entering the dorm room. "Oh, hey."

"You're not hiding, right?"

Lily frowned. "No?"

"Well, it's just that...you're supposed to be at Charms Club-"

"I have a lot of homework."

"-most of the profs stopped assigning work for the year-"

"It's the extra credit for Slughorn."

"-and you're revising in your...bed?"

"I wanted some peace and quiet."

"Lily," Mary snorted, falling onto the bed next to Lily, unconcerned with the various parchments and pages that she crumpled in her wake. "You've logged more hours in the library than the rest of the sixth-year class combined. It has all the peace and quiet you need and you _know it_."

Lily grabbed at a stray paper as it flitted to the ground, huffing in frustration. "I just wanted to work in here. Do I _need_ to explain myself on that?"

"No," Mary said, airily. "But I was rather hoping you'd explain this." She rolled gracelessly onto her stomach, withdrawing a crumpled parchment from her waistband. "I was told to pass it along."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed as she took the folded parchment from her friend. She opened the large fold and let her eyes scan the perfect, cursive crawl.

 _Sorry._

 _-SB_

Lily snorted, derisively, setting the paper in her lap. "Eloquent."

Mary grabbed for it and read with a crease across her pale forehead. "What is this about?"

"Did he give that to you?" Lily asked, dryly.

"Sirius? Yeah, but I figured it was some prank. Honestly, I was expecting it to explode on you or something."

"Thanks for looking out for me," Lily deadpanned, with a dry expression. "He's just apologising for being a prat."

"Does Black... _do_ that?"

"Act like a prat?" Lily asked incredulously.

" _Apologise_ ," Mary rolled her eyes.

"He's not a completely rubbish person, you know," Lily defended him against her better judgement. "He's an _idiot_ , but he's not...all bad."

Mary tilted her head, studying the other witch. "I believe you."

Lily blinked in surprise before pulling a smile. "He honestly reminds me of you sometimes. But only in the worst ways."

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Lovely." the taller witch chortled.

"Tell me something, Mary."

"Hmm?"

"Was I...was I a complete tart with Ben earlier?" she asked, self-consciousness and shame creeping into her questioning tone.

Mary pushed into a sitting position. "Lily, you've never even kissed a boy."

"I _have_ -"

"Third year doesn't count. Especially not when it was an _accident_."

"It's not my fault Shelly Toomes had the same colour hair as me!"

"Lily," Mary chided. "I mean a real kiss. Where both parties are aware of the identity of the other person."

"Right."

"You're the farthest thing from a tart."

"But that's not what I meant. At breakfast, was I...was I being obnoxious?"

Mary's lips twitched as she took in her friend's earnest expression. "A little."

Lily groaned, shutting her eyes.

"But that's okay!" Mary continued. "You're seventeen, Lily! There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little shameless flirting now and again. And according to my calculations, you're…" she paused, squinting her eyes as if she were doing mental calculus (Lily withheld a snort at the idea of pureblood Mary MacDonald even attempting to _define_ Muggle calculus), "seventeen years overdue."

" _Mary!_ "

"I don't make the rules!" Mary laughed, throwing an arm around her friend. "Listen, it wasn't that bad, okay? I doubt anyone else in the Hall even noticed. Besides...it worked, didn't it?" She wiggled her eyebrows, suggestively.

Lily giggled, playfully pushing at her friend. "I guess."

"Oh, don't be modest, Lily Evans," Mary shrieked. "Ben Soares is _fit_."

"He is," Lily agreed, wistfully. "I just don't know if we really...click."

Mary laughed again. "Merlin, find a way to make that click happen. What I wouldn't give to-"

"What happened to Christmas Tree?"

"Tannenbaum is _old news_ ," Mary sighed, dramatically, leaning against the headboard. "I'm back on the prowl."

"You know, I hear that likening the dating experience to African safari animal predation is a real turn on these days."

"No coy comments from you, missy. I noticed that you stole my skirt today!"

Lily promptly shoved her own face into a pillow, praying for suffocation to be quick and painless.

…

Lily scurried down the stairs as quietly as she could, hoping the rest of Gryffindor would be asleep by now. She was only interested in speaking to one person, right now, and she didn't feel like dealing with an audience.

"Hi."

"I was starting to think I'd mussed things beyond repair."

"No," Lily said, folding her legs up under her as she joined Sirius on the maroon couch. "Not beyond repair."

He didn't pull his face from the fire, but his eyes slid to look at her sideways. "I'm sorry."

"I got the note."

The corners of his lips twitched upward. "Macdonald _is_ good for something."

"She really dislikes you, y'know."

"We've got a weird history, Mary and I."

Lily frowned. "What does _that_ mean?"

He chuckled, ignoring her inquiry. "I'm glad I didn't scare you off."

"I bet. I'm your only friend these days."

He laughed again, but not because her statement lacked any truth. "I think I forget sometimes that you're not just one of the lads."

"Thanks." she said dryly.

He pushed at her shoulder affectionately. "I _mean_ , I get going with my little bits and forget to exercise self-control with my...crudeness."

"It's not the crudeness that bothers me, Sirius. It's the _insinuations_."

"I don't think you're a tart," he said quickly, shifting to finally look at her, fully. "I was just...being a git."

"You were," she nodded. "But...I was also acting like a tart."

He looked as if he were going to aggressively deny this claim, but stopped himself. His face shifted as he chose his words carefully. "Was that...are you really that smitten with Soares? Because I know what I said the other night, but honestly, Evans, I was kidding. He's a nice bloke, sure, but I kind of was starting to think that you-"

"Not for Ben." Lily said quietly, shaking her head.

It felt good to vocalise. She wasn't getting specific, of course, but she had spent the majority of the day devoting significant attention and worry to the matter of her maybe, possibly, potentially fancying James Potter. Verbalising this little admission felt like she was slowly releasing the air from an inflatable ball.

It wasn't sudden or complete, but it was still monumental and impactful.

Sirius' thin eyebrows bounced up to rest under his elegantly mussed curls. "Oh."

"I'm not…" she sighed, "I'm not going to elaborate anymore right now because it's too late and I am fairly sure I would regret it tomorrow."

"Alright," he said, slowly. "I can respect that."

Lily nodded, a tight lip smile of gratefulness on her lips. "I'm going to go back to bed now, but I just…" She pushed some hair behind her ears. "I accept your apology."

"I'll try to be less of a prat in the morning."

This pulled a more genuine, if not still tired, grin from the redhead. "Let's not expect the impossible, Black."

…

"James. Please come in." Albus Dumbledore smiled as the younger wizard tentatively stepped off the rotating staircase, thus entering the eclectic office of the Headmaster.

"I appreciate you lending me a few minutes of your time this evening in the midst of end-of-term examinations." he paused to peer over his half-moon spectacles. "Which I have no doubt you have spent many an hour revising for."

"Yes, sir, of course," James chuckled a bit sheepishly, his hand pulling at various locks of jet-black hair.

"Please, come in and have a seat. I regret that I can not offer you any sweets. My supply has been running dismally low for several days now and this morning saw the last of my licorice wands."

"That's all right, sir. I have to admit I prefer the chocolate ones anyway." James said, lowering himself into the oversized chair, facing Dumbledore.

"Noted for the future." the elder wizard smiled in a way that said _ah yes, there will indeed be future meetings such as this_. James hoped his own expression did not reveal, _oh bloody hell, please no._

"Professor McGonagall informed me that she spoke to you a couple days ago."

"Briefly, sir. Yes."

"She added that you were...less than receptive."

He could have attempted a more genuine trial for shame, but Dumbledore already knew everything. "Professor, I'm still a bit confused on your choice."

"To make you Headboy?" James nodded. "Would I be wrong in ascertaining that you do not _desire_ the position?"

"No offence, but...no."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, there's your answer."

James opened his mouth a couple of times like a fish, feeling more confused than ever.

"We provided the prefects with an interest form two weeks ago." Dumbledore continued, sweeping around his desk. He opened a dark wooden drawer and withdrew a clipboard. "We asked for any current sixth-year prefects to write their name if they were interested in the position of Headboy or Headgirl." He pushed the clipboard to James. "How many names are on that list?"

"Six, sir."

"Which names are missing?"

"Remus Lupin," James noticed immediately, feeling a sting at the frantically erased and heavily scratched out beginning of his best friend's name on the bottom of the list.

"Mr. Lupin has spoken with Professor McGonagall and has come to the conclusion that the position of Headboy would not be a desirable one for him." Dumbledore said sadly, noting James' fallen face. "If he had signed, I would have considered him as honestly as the next candidates." the wizard assured him. "It was his own choice to remove his name."

How very like Remus.

"I figured as much."

"Mr. Lupin will always be a leader, with or without a position of authority. Especially, I think, amongst his friends." Dumbledore winked. "Now, tell me...whatever name is missing from that list."

It didn't take long for James to say, "Lily Evans."

Dumbledore nodded, slowly.

James' head popped up, a frown playing at his lips. "But Lily has wanted Headgirl since first year. She's always blabbed on and on about-"

"Miss Evans has gone through some difficult circumstances recently, James," Dumbledore interrupted him. "I know I need not remind you of that."

"So because of...the attack," James managed to choke out, "she...she doesn't want it anymore?"

"It would appear so."

"But that's rubbish! She's ten times the leader any of these other girls are," he hit the clipboard for emphasis. "Professor, you have to talk to her! Her self-confidence, it's...it's not what is used to be, but she's just going through a tough spot. She'll be okay!"

"Will she?" Dumbledore tilted his head, curiously.

James sputtered. "Of course she will! She's...she's Lily!"

"James, your friend has gone through some extreme trauma in the past month. I think it is insensitive of us to assume she will fully recover without difficulty."

"I know that, Headmaster, but she _has_ to. So many students look up to her and-"

"Do you?"

"W-what?" James paused, his eyes wide.

"Do you look up to her?" Dumbledore repeated calmly.

"I...well, that's really not my point, sir."

"James, indulge an old man. Do you consider her character to be admirable and above reproach?"

James hesitated for a moment, before setting his jaw. "Yes, sir, I do."

Dumbledore nodded, motioning for James to continue his little tirade. "I was merely curious. You may continue with what you were saying."

James shook his head quickly, regathering his momentum. "I just think that you should look beyond this list, Professor! These girls…" he took a moment to scan the list again, crinkling his nose in ungarnered distaste, "they're not who you want. But Lily...she's gentle and bold and compassionate and honest and hard-working and…" He trailed off noticing Dumbledore's small, curious smile.

"And?"

James felt his neck heat up in a flush. "I know it's not my place, sir, but I truly believe you should talk to Lily. I think she could be convinced. She wants this position...I _know_ she wants this position!" He took a deep breath, before continuing seriously, "And, Professor, I think it would do a great deal of good for her own healing, too."

"Do you?" Dumbledore mused, not really intending it as a question. Suddenly, he looked to James with bright, pensieve eyes. "James, you said this decision is not your place."

James nodded, his own eyes growing wide in trepidation. "I'm sorry, sir, I know-"

"Could you be convinced to _make_ it your _place_?"

"What?" the younger wizard fumbled.

"I am not going to talk to Miss Evans about Headgirl."

"Oh," James' head dropped to his lap in defeat. He sensed this was not the time to engage in a heated argument with his Headmaster.

"You are."

"Sir, I-"

"Now, if I am correct in my suspicions, and-forgive my vanity, James, but I generally am-you have a friend who needs you this evening. And the sun has begun to set."

James' eyes widened. "Professor-"

"Good night, Mr. Potter."

…

The nightmares had been particularly bad for the past week.

Mary, who had always joked about Lily's bed being more comfortable than her own, spent more time sharing a bed with the redhead than she did on her own mattress these days. The tiny twin was not at all conducive to supporting both of the teenagers, but they made it work.

Lily never _asked_ for the company, of course, anyway. Mary took action on her own, after hearing screams and thrashing from behind her best mate's curtains. Pride would have generally forced Lily to refuse Mary's comfort and consolation, but when the tormented witch woke up with her friend's arms around her, she never did anything except scoot closer.

Safety.

It looked different every day, but Lily was happy to find it in any form she could.

Mary's sleeping arrangements in the midst of her nightmares, Remus' arm in the dark of the corridors during rounds, Anna's hand on her back as they walked by the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, Sirius' hasty wand withdrawals at the first word of ill intent toward Lily.

She had the most loyal of friends and that thought is what pushed her through each day, overcoming the fear and anxiety that so often liked to try and make residence in her being.

…

"You shouldn't be here."

"No offense, Prongs, but you're kind of useless without me."

James sighed, glancing up at the full moon as it settled into its peak place. "Yeah, I know," he said regretfully, "but after last time-"

"James." Peter placed a placating arm on his friend, under the cloak. "I'm fine, mate. Lily healed me up good and right, yeah?"

The taller boy flinched at the mention of the redhead, but his quick pace did not change. "If only the knot wasn't so damn tricky."

"I like the challenge. Makes me feel useful." Peter shrugged, momentarily tripping over a thick tree root.

"We're close. Try and not to break your leg for the next two minutes, yeah, Wormy?"

"Sod off," the pudgy boy rolled his eyes, good-naturedly, before grabbing James' arm again, this time, pulling the other wizard to a stop. "Oi," he whispered, "what was that?"

James' eyes crunched beneath his glasses. "I didn't hear anything."

"Someone's out here."

"Wormtail, it's pitch dark. What idiots besides us would be in the Forbidden Forest?" he slid the invisibility cloak off of their shoulders and scrunched it into a ball, shoving it into the satchel, along with his glasses. "I swear to Merlin, when I'm out of school, my first bit of good for this world will be to find a way to maintain accessories during Animagus transformations."

"Good Godric, you're a posh prat." Peter shook his head, still eyeing the clearing with trepidation, but slipping out of his jumper none-the-less.

"It just makes no sense," James whined, catching the knitted layer that Peter tossed to him. "You can transform back into your clothes, but suddenly your glasses are on the ground wherever you first changed? It's ridiculous."

"Your life is really hard, Prongs. I'm so sorry this tragedy has befallen you." His sarcasm was cut short as they heard a muffled, yet strong howl. Peter bit his lip, looking at his friend, with apprehension. "There he is."

James nodded, setting his jaw. "You ready?"

"Sure," Peter replied, sounding anything but. With a deep intake of breath, he sunk to the ground, a mustard rat left in his place.

James followed behind, transforming into a large, well-built stag. Almost immediately, the branches of the Willow stopped their violent fluctuations, allowing James and Peter to slide under the massive tree.

As the rat and stag exited the short tunnel leading into the Shrieking Shack, they were greeted by the vicious form of their friend. Their arrival interrupted his attempts to scratch through the cement walls-a task that he was dangerously closer to completing than he had been during first year. His snout stuck straight up in there, sniffing rapidly as he sought the source of the new scent.

Smelling familiarity, he turned around on his haunches, taking in the appearance of the rodent and buck. He bared his teeth, emitting a low growl.

 _Took you long enough,_ it clearly said.

James chuffed back. _Calm down, impatient git._

And then the whining began, as it always did when the boys got into the Shack. Since their adventures on the grounds, Remus was no longer content to stay in the abandoned old structure.

No. He had to explore, had to roam, had to have _more_.

And the werewolf _knew_ that the other beasts were his ticket out of there.

In fact, they had tried to keep him in the Shrieking Shack last week. Attempted to amuse and appease him for hours without leaving the small building, but Remus grew impatient and cross, becoming more and more violent with the way he played with James and Peter. The pawing became full blows and the playful nips became committed attempts at producing blood.

Peter had gotten scared after a particularly close call and slipped out of rat-form. Obviously, this had presented a new line of problems and James had just about died trying to get Pete out of the Shack and up to Lily in the castle.

This time, there was little option: they _had_ to leave the Shack.

 _Come on_ , James swung his antler-laden head toward the tunnel, internally smiling at the comical way Remus' mangy tail wagged at the inclination.

He bounded ahead of James and Peter, having long memorised the location of the exit. James tried not to think too much about what this meant for the safety of Hogwarts.

Peter slipped ahead, pressing the knot from the inside. The three Marauders slipped out, easily, adjusting to the night air and cool ground. James lowered his head for Peter to climb atop, and just like that...they were off. Four powerful hooves and four more powerful paws beat the ground in time, racing and racing to the edge of the forest.

 _Away from the castle, away from the castle, away from the castle_ , James repeated to himself, desperately trying not to let the adrenaline overshadow the importance of safety.

These full moon nights were the best nights of the boys' lives. A certain stamina and endurance came with transforming into an animal, large or small. One could run faster, run longer, run harder.

Deadlines and classwork seemed to fade away. The war no longer seemed as imminent. Messy relationships disappeared entirely. It was just the soil, the moon, and those four boys.

Suddenly, Remus' massive figure froze, the hairs on the back of his thick neck standing straight up.

James slowed his own trot to a stop, feeling Peter shift nervously on top of his head.

The stag grunted at the wolf. _What's the matter?_

Instead of responding to James, the werewolf raised his head and released a blood-curdling howl. This was not the playful greeting normally offered to his friends.

Remus smelled human blood.

…

 **A/N: Things are about to get fuuuuun. If you have any predictions, please feel free to hit me up. Additionally, I wanted to comment on a couple topics discussed in this chapter which I hope I am presenting in a way that honours those similarly affected and does not disrespect or take importance from their pain.**

 **Post-traumatic stress disorder is something that hits close to home for me and something I specifically wanted to include in this story, because it** _ **can**_ **affect youth and I do not think that is discussed enough today. If Lily were to encounter an attack like she did, it is incredibly likely that she would suffer from some degree of PTSD. The symptoms I am choosing to include are only those that I have been in close-contact with, firsthand. I am aware that PTSD and anxiety attacks look different for everyone and I ask that if anything I am including is upsetting or painful to you, that you reach out to me so we can further discuss and I can gain a better understanding of what you are feeling.**

 **Also, as an aside: I know that both James and Lily act a bit petty/immature/manipulative in this chapter, but that is purposeful! We must keep in mind that they are teenagers and can be (unfortunately) susceptible to hormones. :)**

 **As always, thank you for reading. I love you all, dearly.**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: Hehe, so it's been a while, but let's get this show back on the road, yeah?_

...

He should have known who the only other idiot out of the castle at this hour would be.

James' antlers collided with Remus' torso, flinging Peter to the ground and successfully pushing Remus away from Sirius' broken form on the ground.

"COME ON!" Sirius screamed at himself in anguish, desperately trying to transform, to no avail.

Remus released a deep bark of hunger, lunging again toward the wizard on the ground. James parried him, pushing the mass of werewolf into a tree. He winced at the sound of impact, but knew Remus would forgive him for the bruises tomorrow, so long as he stopped him from eating his best mate.

James so desperately wanted to shout, yell, scream at Sirius. What the bloody hell was he _doing_? As Remus recovered, raising back to his full height, James saw Peter's small form scurry to Sirius.

"Wand, Pete!" Sirius bellowed over the sound of James and Remus' bodies once again, colliding. The bloody wanker came out here without a _wand?!_

James willed Peter to read his mind. If the smaller wizard could transform back to human, just quick enough to grab the satchel-which was only a few feet away-and retrieve their wands, Sirius and Pete could immobilise Remus long enough for them to get significantly closer to the castle.

James wasn't exactly sure what he would do at that point, but he'd always been rather good at thinking on the fly.

"WAND!" Sirius screeched again, just as Remus sunk his teeth into James' left shoulder. As the pain shot through his body, he focused on his stag essence, violently resisting the natural urge to slip back into human form.

"Padfoot! Catch!" Peter stood at his full height, satchel in hand. James wrenched his eyes open to see his own wand catapult across the clearing into Sirius' hands. Thank Merlin for Sirius' athleticism and reflexes. Before he could take a breath, Remus was back on him, even more aggressive than before, struggling between the desire to get rid of the pesky stag or devour the two humans.

James slammed his antlers into the werewolf's side, drawing blood. His stomach lurched at the sight, but he kept reminding himself it was for the greater good. Harding could easily patch him up tomorrow.

"ON THREE, WORMTAIL!" Sirius bellowed, shakily lifting James' wand toward the werewolf. "ONE."

James barely dodged a heavy swipe to the face, his front two legs crumpling under him at the manoeuvre, allowing Remus to sidestep him.

"TWO."

James saw Peter lift his own wand, teeth chattering in fear, as Remus bounded toward the two boys. _Merlin, this had better work_. Werewolves weren't necessarily impervious to normal magic, but it took significant strength to even minorly deter a beast Remus' size.

"THREE."

" _STUPEFY!"_

James couldn't help but dispel a breath of relief as he saw the massive werewolf drop to the ground in a heap. Sirius and Peter kept their wands pointed at Remus' motionless body for several seconds, chests heaving, before dropping their arms and looking at each other in tired amazement.

"Merlin," Sirius whispered, breathlessly.

James transformed, immediately. "Merlin." he echoed, quietly. " _Merlin_." He shook his head, frustrated by his inability to clearly see and the utter stupidity of the wizard in front of him.

"You come out here...tonight of all nights," James drew a ragged breath, "unable to transform, wandless! You...you almost get slaughtered by your best mate and you have the bloody nerve to say _MERLIN?!_ WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Mate," Peter interjected, pointing at Remus' twitching form. "We should...go."

"I tried to transform, alright?" Sirius ignored the smaller wizard, meeting James' eyes with equal intensity. "The Willow got me."

"The _Willow_ got you? After all these years of roaming this bloody forest, you're telling me the fucking _tree_ got you?!" James huffed, rounding on Sirius.

"Got my leg," Sirius breathed, remembering his own pain. "I thought you'd still be in the Shack. Didn't...didn't know you were already out."

"You _know_ that Peter has to immobilise the tree before you can get in. When have you _ever_ been able to get in there as Padfoot without his help?! What were you _thinking_?"

"I thought I could do it."

"NO!" James screamed, still advancing on Sirius' sitting form. "You _weren't_ thinking! You thought you'd play hero and come join our little forest frolicking. Well, I've got _news_ , dickhead! Our friend," he spat the words violently jutting his finger at the crumpled mass of fur, "is a werewolf. A _fucking_ werewolf, okay? For some reason, I figured you'd put that together by now, given the fact that we've known for six damn _years_ , but _my mistake_."

"James," Peter whimpered, his eyes still glued on Remus' twitching body.

"Do you know what werewolves do for fun? They tear apart bastards like you for _sport!_ You could have DIED, alright, Black?! Our dear mate Remus would have ripped your throat out without the bat of an eye and he probably would've KILLED HIMSELF OVER IT TOMORROW!"

" _James._ " Peter chewed on his thumbnails as he watched the werewolf's body settle into a normal breathing pattern.

"Why are you determined to tear us apart?" James demanded, his voice dropping dangerously, as he hovered inches from Sirius' face. "GIVE ME AN ANSWER!"

Sirius stayed silent, tired grey eyes bravely meeting James' manic glare.

"The stunt with Snape before Christmas...did you _want_ to be expelled? Your bit with your parents last summer...did you _want_ to be kicked out? Tonight...do you think your life has so little value that YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD?" His voice had gone hoarse from the consistent screaming. He snatched his wand from Sirius' grip and shoved it in his pocket. "You don't get to live your life with your own expiration date!"

"Prongs, we _have_ to get out of here. _Now_." Peter practically squealed.

"We're supposed to be _brothers_." James croaked, his hand dropping to his side as his shoulders heaved limply. "Doesn't that give you _enough_ value? Isn't that enough to pull you out of bed in the morning? To make you stop and think before you plunge into stupid, dangerous situations because you _don't bloody care_ if you survive or not?"

Remus whimpered on the ground, gaining consciousness.

"Get out of here." James choked out. "Both of you. Get to the castle."

Peter jumped to action, elated to hear the command, but Sirius remained still, staring at the taller wizard.

"NOW." James bellowed.

The long-haired wizard didn't move for another minute, looking as if he wanted to say something. The heightened stirring of Remus' body shook him from his hypnotic state. With an awkward limp, Sirius turned for the castle. Peter rushed over to support his left side, watching the mangled leg drag between them with queasy unease.

James took a deep breath, clearing his head as much as possible after _that_ interaction, and transfigured himself back into his Animagus form, preparing for a _long_ night one-on-one with dear, sweet Moony.

…

She was a despicable human being. There was nothing else to it.

Forget the time she cursed Georgia Parthenope's teeth to brown for a week after she kissed Mary's boyfriend in fourth year. Forget the time she cut off one of Petunia's plaits. Forget the time she purposefully spilled ink across Anna's History essay during a small tiff between the girls in second year.

Agreeing to go on a date with Benjamin Soares definitely possessed the trump card.

Yes, he was fit, and yes, they got along, but there wasn't anything _there_. He was quiet, reserved, and not much of a leader. Their dueling club interactions had mostly been her or Potter initiating a conversation and him participating after their insistent prompting. No _click_ , as she had so eloquently explained to Mary.

All of that aside, it wasn't even the actual agreeing to go on the date that constituted her as 'despicable.' Truly awful, maybe. Possibly even horrible. But the _despicable_ part came into play when Lily considered her reasons.

James Potter.

Lily Evans may not be the most adept at understanding or owning up to all of her emotions, but she wasn't so out of touch with her own feelings as to know that her embarrassing display of flirting with Ben Soares was a _direct_ response to seeing James and Juniper Alessio chumming it up down the table.

There was no fluent stream of consciousness between the feeling of 'bloody hell' and the acceptance of Ben's asking out. It just _happened_ , which provided a whole new level of _what the hell_ for Lily to lay in bed and consider.

…

"You're here." Sirius' tone offered no true surprise. He shifted in the hospital bed to get a better view of his visitor.

James shrugged his shoulders, hands shoved in his front pockets. "I was hoping to be the first to see the amputation."

"Pomfrey saved it."

"Pity that."

"I'm not complaining," he closed his eyes as he settled back onto the pillows. "She set it almost back to normal. I ought to be out of here by nightfall."

"Nightfall," James gave a breathy sort of laugh, falling into the chair by Sirius' bed. "No one's said that word in a hundred years."

"I'm _sophisticated_ , Jamesey."

The obnoxious nickname didn't seem to register with James beyond a twitch of his nose. "I was in with Remus earlier." he pressed on, back to business, motioning toward the back room that was generally reserved for their friend post-moon. "But you were still out cold."

Sirius paused. "How is he?"

"Nasty wound along his ribs. He told Harding and Pomfrey it was from some rusty boards in the Shack, but it looks suspiciously close to antlers to me." James grimaced mournfully, sinking deeper into the chair.

Sirius winced. "You had to do it, mate."

James nodded, his hands fiddling with each other on his lap. He had long given up the nervous tick of messing with his stolen Snitch, but his hands consistently itched to move in moments of anxiety and discomfort.

Sirius watched the other wizard's hands twist restlessly around each other with a tired gaze. "James." he sighed after a pregnant pause. "When we got back to the castle last night, I started thinking. And you need to hear this."

"I don't want to talk about this right now." James shifted, making a motion to leave.

"Sit down. Yes, you do."

James shot a snide glare to the reclined wizard. "No, I don't. I need t-"

"Then why'd you come?"

It was a question that demanded an answer and James' response was to sit back down on the small wooden chair. Sirius had always had a way of getting past James' bullshit.

"I don't...I don't _want_ to die, you know." Sirius adjusted on the bed. "No, really...I know I'm...reckless. But it's never been about testing limits. I just don't always...think."

"He would have killed you, Sirius." James said, watching his fingers rub past each other. "You _know_ that."

Sirius sighed in frustrated agreement. "But last night, I _didn't_ think about that. I just...I love Remus. All of you lads. And I couldn't stand knowing that you were out there handling him without me. I've already missed so many and...I had to be there."

James waited in silence for a few moments, playing the other wizard's words over and over in his head. 'Reckless' had always been an excellent word to describe Sirius. That had been a large chunk of what had so quickly united the two boys. First year James had stored up energy bouncing around inside him, particles of matter colliding in tumultuous bursts of mischief. First year Sirius had possessed a complete lack of abandon and awareness of limits, preadolescent confusion rearing its head as he avoided processing the abuse he had withstood for eleven years at home.

The collaboration created an innocent enough showering of explosions and injuries on the castle from mere moments after the Sorting Ceremony. As the boys grew older, the expanse of their influence did as well. Remus and Peter were added to the ranks and a maximised audience allowed for an even larger realm of possibilities.

"That's a dangerous quality to have in a time like this." James sighed, clumsily pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Stupidity?"

"No. Loyalty."

Sirius didn't say anything, afraid to shatter the loosely upheld ceiling of peace.

"You're the dumbest person I know, Padfoot."

Sirius perked up at the affection that coloured the other wizard's words. "The absolute dumbest." the shaggy-haired boy agreed, shaking his head vigorously.

"One of these days, your luck is gonna run out." he continued to portray an aura of admonishment, but the sternness didn't reach his eyes.

"I promise to at least stick around to see you marry Evans." Sirius pledged, solemnly.

"Oh, bugger off." James groaned through a laugh, throwing his feet up on the hospital bed.

"Oi!" Mademoiselle Pomfrey's high voice tittered as she swept into the room. "Get your dirty feet off my patient, Potter!"

" _Your_ patient?" Sirius smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, as he took in the young healer's assistant.

Pomfrey sputtered, her ears turning pink. "I...I-"

"Oh, come on, Poppy, my feet are on his right leg! It's the left one that's messed up." James whined.

" _Mademoiselle Pomfrey!_ " she corrected, indignantly, redirecting her glare at James.

"I don't think she likes you, mate," Sirius whispered, leaning toward his friend.

"Out!" she shouted.

"But I was-"

"OUT!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going, _I'm going!_ Merlin." James stood up, his hands raised in surrender, before looking back at Sirius. "I'll miss you, Sirius Black."

"Not as much as I'll miss you, James Potter."

"Shall we part with a kiss so I never forget you?"

"I think we must."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, get out _immediately_ , James Potter!" Pomfrey cried, her eyes cast to the heavens, silently praying for patience from the gods above.

With a blown kiss and a wink, James slipped out of the hospital wing.

…

Remus' seat was noticeably absent in Transfiguration, but that was to be expected.

Sirius' however…

He had been better about skipping class for the hell of it, lately, and he hadn't mentioned anything specific to her, which meant he was likely in the hospital wing with some illness or another. Strange...but no matter. She could take class notes to him later.

Her eyes continued to scan the classroom and settle, sullenly, on James. He looked chipper enough, though the way his right shoulder drooped led her to assume it has been another rough full moon.

She _hated_ that she cared.

James Potter, with the stupid hair and stupid lips. Lips that had been two inches from her own an apparent mere hours before locking with Juniper Alessio's.

Classic.

It shouldn't even surprise her.

Who the hell was she assuming he had _changed_? The way he treated Sirius should have been the first red flag. He was still a complete prick and thinking about the amount of time she had devoted to internally defending and forgiving him made her shudder.

Dueling club and the kitchens and studying in the library. All just stupid excuses to spend more time with THE Lily Evans, the bane of his existence and object of his falsely lustful affections for all these years.

 _She_ was the stupid one-to fall for it so easily. To think that they were actually 'friends.' James Potter didn't _do_ 'friends;' not with girls.

Thinking that she had seen past the arrogant, comical shell to an honest, passionate interior made her a _fool_.

He seemed to feel her eyes on the back of his head and swivelled his neck in response, locking gazes. Something strange and questioning danced in the golds and greens of his hazel orbs, but she snapped her head back toward the front before she could consider it.

 _This_ was a game she was quite used to winning.

…

The house elves always got bold at the end of the year, which mostly meant that the ratio of edible food to food-that-made-you-run-to-the-lavatory became more and more disproportionate.

Barbecued apples were a side dish today.

"I wather 'ike 'em." Peter mumbled, shoved another spoonful into his already full mouth.

James frowned at his friend in disgust, pushing his own food around on the plate.

"Eatin' same suff all'ime gets ol'." the pudgy wizard shrugged, stabbing for James' apples.

"Help yourself. I-"

 _Clank._

James and Peter's eyes lifted to take in the new arrival, who had unceremoniously dropped his own plate on the table.

"Are those apples...barbecued?" Sirius asked, with a frown.

Peter swallowed, deeply, and looked to James, nervously, anticipating discomfort.

"You know how the elves get during the last couple weeks." James offered with a shrug, taking a swig of pumpkin juice.

"Moony'll be back by dinner, according to Pomfrey." reported Sirius, reaching to pull a chicken leg from the bird in the center of the table. "He's all patched up. Just sleeping off the potions now."

"That's fast."

"Looks like you're not as big and bad as you thought, Prongs." Sirius smirked, dropping his voice to avoid eavesdroppers. "Didn't even incapacitate him for a full day."

James grinned. "Or _Remus_ is even _more_ big and bad than we thought."

"You're a stupid sod, either way. Wormtail, pass the juice, yeah?"

Peter blinked several times, his head snapping between the other two boys. "Sure, uh...here you go." he gingerly passed the pitcher.

"How were Minnie and Slug this morning?" Sirius grabbed for the pitcher, offering Peter an appreciative nod. "Need your notes, by the way. If I fail this last exam, I'll be skinned for sure."

"I think she was amiss without your marriage proposals, mate." James said, lightly. "And Sluggy has _definitely_ been drinking today."

"Potions is at nine o'clock!" Sirius snorted through laughter.

"Now can we really expect Slughorn to follow rules that you yourself ignore?"

"Touche."

"What?!" Peter burst, all of a sudden, both of his palms hitting wooden table with a force that attracted the attention of several Gryffindors. The platter of chicken in the middle of the table clanged as the pumpkin juice sloshed toward the rim of its pitcher. "What what _WHAT?"_

James and Sirius turned toward their friend with raised eyebrows.

"You...and-and you." Peter sputtered, gesturing wildly at the two wizards, fork in hand. "You're...we're... _friends_?"

The two taller boys cast a sideways glance out the sides of their eyes toward each other. "Yes?" James posed, as though this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Honestly, Wormtail, what kind of question is that?" Sirius admonished.

"It's been six years, Pete. You ought to have figured out the dynamic by now."

Peter's mouth went agape as he watched the two boys return to their meals, casual as ever.

"So they really refused to amputate, huh?" James began again. "Because a wooden leg would have been _wicked_."

…

Bloody _traitor_.

After morning classes, Lily had run up to check on Sirius in the hospital wing, only to be told that he had been released minutes before. That was fine- _great_ , even! But to come into the Great Hall and see him chumming it up with _Potter_?

She had been trying to get those stupid boys to get over themselves for _weeks_ and _now_ they decide to get a move on? What sick trick was God playing on her?

"Guess his world is spinning again." Anna mused, shooting the boys a glance out the corner of her eyes.

"I'll say," Mary snorted. "He got both of his girlfriends back in a matter of two days. Perfect Potter back in the game."

Don't say _anything_ , Lily commanded herself.

"You know the story there, Lils?" Mary asked, nodding toward the Marauders.

"What?" Lily flinched.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Potter and Black. You're bosom buddies with Black these days. What happened?"

"I don't know anything." Lily said, snappishly. "And I don't know where you got the impression that I'm particularly close with either of them. Honestly, I hardly speak to them at all."

Anna's eyebrows furrowed as she studied Lily's rigid appearance, but Mary seemed unphased. "Well, if you find out anything, let us know. The Hogwarts Gossip Mill would be forever grateful."

 _If you find out anything_ , like they expected her to sit down for a tete-a-tete with the two boys.

Yeah, _right._

...

The Astronomy Tower was silent and dark, a tangible chill echoing through the room.

"Merlin, haven't been up here in awhile." Sirius whistled, unscrewing the cap of his flask.

"You mean you haven't brought a _girl_ up here in awhile." James grinned.

"I didn't say that." the longer-haired boy shook his head with a smile.

"Yeah, _okay_ ," James shoved his mate's shoulder. "Come on." He led the way to the back of the large room, checking the Map again. It was well after curfew and Filch would be the only one patrolling at this hour (when did the man _sleep?_ ), but better safe than sorry.

"So what's so important that we had to come all the way up here?" Sirius slid to the ground across from his friend, offering the flask. "I appreciate the nostalgia, of course, but couldn't we have this wee chat over breakfast?"

James refused the flask, hesitating before saying, "I have a...dilemma."

"Like...a girl thing?" Sirius frowned.

"No. Well, yes. But no." James shook his head quickly. "Dumbledore wants me to be Head Boy."

Sirius didn't say anything for a moment, obviously waiting for a punchline or an explanation of the joke. When nothing came, he swore. "Merlin, you're being serious?"

"When I met with him after the stuff with Rosier, he dropped that ball on me."

"Well, shit."

"Shit." James agreed.

"You're not...I mean you're not going to do it right? Because Moony…"

"He doesn't want it."

"What?" Sirius sat up straighter. "What do you mean, of course he wants it."

"Dumbledore showed me the list. He didn't sign it."

Sirius took a swig of firewhiskey, waving his hand as if this was just a silly 'Remus' mistake. "Well, that's just Moony being Moony. We'll talk to him and he'll change his mind. He's been a shoe-in since first year with all-"

"Sirius, I'm going to accept the position."

Sirius' mouth shut as he stared at his friend.

"Remus talked with Dumbledore about it. With the lycanthropy, he...he couldn't stay in the head dorm, or do consistent patrols. He wouldn't be reliable with emergencies. Not to mention how much it would drain him, emotionally. It's...it wouldn't be a good fit for him. The two of them talked about it extensively and Remus decided for himself."

"Shit." Sirius whispered again, eyes on the floor. Then, he seemed to remember the alternative. "But you...James, you'd hate that."

"Would I?"

"I mean, of course you would! Think of what it means. You'd have to move out of the dorm, no more pranks. Wee first years would be coming to you in tears all the time because they miss their mummies. You'd have to work with some snobby Head Girl. Wait…" His eyes grew. "You'd be working with Evans." He leaned toward James. "Wouldn't you?!"

James' hand moved to his hair. "Well, see, that's the thing. I don't know. I'd-"

"Oh, _Merlin_. Are you _kidding_ me right now?" Sirius groaned, rolling his head back. "I thought you _moved on._ " The way he dragged the words out implied that he did not believe this claim even a little bit.

"I did!" James frowned, indignantly. "That's not the point here!"

"James, mate, honestly, just-"

"She doesn't want the position!" James yelled, interrupting Sirius' sarcastic ramble.

"Of being your _wife_?" he snorted.

"Of being _Head Girl_."

Sirius frowned in befuddlement. "What?"

"She doesn't want it." He repeated, shaking his head. "The attack. They...they got in her head. She doesn't want to be Head Girl anymore."

"That's bullshit. Everyone knows she's wanted that since first year. The girl was born with a bloody badge!"

"I _know_."

"If any other girl in this castle gets Headgirl, I will throw myself from that balcony, so help me Merlin. Every other bird in this damn castle is mental. It has to be Evans."

"That's what Dumbledore said."

"Okay, so-"

"I was tasked with convincing her."

"Oh." Sirius went quiet again.

The heavy swing of the massive pendulum in the back corner was the only sound cutting through the tower. James fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck, mulling over the option to tell Sirius about his broom closet encounter with Lily or not. There had never been secrets between the two boys, but for some reason...this just felt different.

It had nothing to do with their six month schiff. Lily just seemed like an exhausted subject coming from James' mouth and he wasn't sure if Sirius would quite understand the gravity of his words if he shared them now. Besides, he had hardly rationalised the whole deal in his own head, much less become prepared to vocally process.

"Well, what's your game plan?" Sirius asked, shaking the flask in his hand and listening to the slosh of the amber liquid.

"I've got nothing," James sighed.

"You're friends now, right? You and Evans. Surely you can talk to her and-"

"Things with Lily and I are...tense."

"Like...sexually because you have a hard time keeping it in your pants or…?"

"No!" _Yes…?_

"Just checking." Sirius raised his hands in surrender. "Evans...she's rational. I'm sure it'll mean more coming from you than Dumbledore."

"That was apparently his line of logic, as well."

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

"I don't…" James released a tired huff of air. "I don't know."

"Listen, mate. It's weird-I get it. But Lily'll hear you out. Just ask her why she didn't sign the interest form and listen to her concerns. Talk her off the ledge. You're good at all that 'words' stuff. I'm sure the conversation will be five minutes long _tops_ and she'll be skipping up to Dumbledore's office."

"Yeah," James nodded slowly. "Okay, I can do that."

When Sirius explained it as simply as that, he really felt like he _could_. If he could get her in a room alone for five minutes, he could talk to her and at least be able to honestly report back to Dumbledore that he had done his part and _tried_. Beyond that, it was out of his hands.

Sirius interrupted his thoughts. "But, mate...can I ask you something?"

James waited.

"Do you really want it? Head Boy?"

"I really think I do."

Sirius nodded, seeming to chew on his next words for a moment. "James Potter, Head Boy." he tried it out, his lips twitching. "I reckon you won't be the worst thing to happen to Hogwarts." he said slowly. "All honesty, bet you'd be pretty brilliant. If you can run the prefects like you run the Quidditch team...damn."

James grinned. "Thanks, mate."

"Just...word of advice?" Sirius added, draining the last of the flask down his throat. "When you have your conversation with Evans...maybe don't lead with the Head Boy bit, yeah?"

...

"Thank you all for giving your year to the school." Dumbledore smiled warmly, from where he stood at the front of the prefect meeting room, addressing the 24 students. "There have been a great many challenges this year." Lily wasn't sure if she imagined the way his eyes seemed to linger on her for a moment. "But I am proud of the way you all led your respective Houses in the midst of adversity. As many of you leave these walls, I hope that you continue to walk with integrity and remember the lessons you have learned in these positions." He nodded toward the seventh years on the side of the room, before turning back to address the fifth and sixth years. "Now for the rest of you, I am sure it comes as no surprise that I would love for the return of each individual in this room. The faculty and I have been working to decide the new fifth year appointments, but we are quite content with the standing upper two years to remain in their positions. If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to come speak with myself or your head of House. Lastly," he gathered his hands in front of his chest, "if you have expressed interest in Head Boy or Head Girl-or if you would still like to do so-" she knew she didn't imagine his gaze this time, "those decisions will be made shortly and you will be notified with your Hogwarts letter before next term."

A quiet wave of murmurs was heard among the students.

Dumbledore raised his hands to regarner the room's attention. "I understand that our current Head Boy and Head Girl have some parting words to you all, but after that, the last prefect meeting for this term will officially be concluded. Thank you all for your time."

Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett gave a short, joint speech. It was simple enough, but still impactful. Their engagement had recently been announced, so the majority of their time talking was interrupted with catcalls and questions of curiosity from the rest of the prefects. As they blushed and blubbered their way to the end of their speech, Lily couldn't help but feel unsettled.

A new Head Boy and Head Girl would be chosen within a matter of months.

This didn't come as a surprise, but the emptiness that accompanied the thought did. Lily had devoted the past six years to working toward and dreaming of the position. Now that the potential for her leadership had arrived, she felt unqualified and unworthy.

How could a witch scared to walk the corridors alone lead the student body?

What example did that set for younger students? For her _friends_?

No, the position of Head Girl should belong to someone who could fearlessly lead by both word _and_ deed. Someone who could sleep alone and walk by the Lake without having flashbacks. Not her.

Once upon a time, maybe she would have been a shoe-in, but after the events of this term...no way. The last thing she needed or wanted was _more_ spotlight.

"Miss Evans?"

Lily blinked at the headmaster hovering above her, before scanning the room. Empty. She had somehow completely missed the end of the meeting in her musings. "S-sorry, Professor." She grabbed for her cardigan and made to exit the room.

"I wonder," Dumbledore gently touched her shoulder, "if I might have a second?"

"Oh," Lily nodded quickly, tugging at her ear, "of course."

"Have you given any more thought to Head Girl?"

She should have anticipated this sort of ambush. "I have," she sighed. "I just don't think I'll have the time to devote with Charms club and Potions research and-"

"With all intended kindness, Miss Evans, I wonder if those accolades-lovely as they are-might be an excuse?"

Lily eyebrows lifted in response to the older wizard's candor. It wasn't like Dumbledore to be so straightforward. "I...I'm sorry?"

"I know this term has been difficult for you and I do not wish to belittle your journey, but I feel that it is my duty as an educator to push you to recognise your full potential and I have no doubt that you could handle the position and _thrive_ , Miss Evans."

"Thank you, sir. I just don't think it would be a good fit for me. I'll be too busy and Head Girl is a full-time position."

"I respect your discernment, of course. I do have one final request if you'll allow me to further steal your time?"

"Of course."

"Discuss this decision with James Potter."

Lily's shook her head, blinking rapidly. "What was that, sir?"

"Just talk it over with him." Dumbledore shrugged like this request was as inconsequential as asking to borrow a knut for candy at Honeyduke's.

"I don't understand," Lily's nose scrunched at the headmaster's strange statement.

"You know, Miss Evans, just because one becomes a teacher and, forgive my pride, but even when one becomes a headmaster...they never stop being a student. Always learning, always refining." He paused and offered her a small smile. "I learn new things everyday. Have a nice evening, Miss Evans."

And with that, he was gone, taking Lily's wits with him.

…

He needed to talk to her, but that was easier said than done. The fact that there were _two_ looming matters to discuss did nothing to aid his mission.

The kiss...no. _Almost_ kiss. And Head Girl.

He'd be lying if he didn't admit that thinking of her brought a great deal of frustration. She'd said yes to _Ben Soares_ , the Ravenclaw prat who she didn't even like.

At least that's what he told himself.

The whole Hogsmeade ordeal had provided him quite the bout of trouble, too. The impulsiveness that had led him to ask June out ( _as friends_ ) had also caused him to forget the simple detail that he wasn't even allowed to _go_ to Hogsmeade this weekend.

Being a Marauder had its perks, of course, and a simple 'ban' wasn't going to stop him from his last Hogsmeade trip of the year, but the whole thing would have been a great deal easier if he hadn't asked a bloody girl to go _with_ him.

As he and Juniper snuck down the first floor corridor toward Gregory the Smarmy, he couldn't help but feel bad for the girl trailing behind him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated for the eleventh time in the past fifteen minutes.

She chuckled. "It's fine, James. But I told you that I would have been more than okay walking down with the girls and meeting you at Honeyduke's or the Three Broomsticks."

"No," James said quickly. "I asked you to come with me. I'll get you there."

"Okaaay," June said, a hint of doubt evident.

"Here," he said, releasing a breath, as he stared up at the statue of the twelfth century Potioneer. "It's right behind him."

"Lead on," she motioned with her hands.

He ducked underneath the statue's rather robust bum and winced before performing the task that he had been regretting since they set out from Gryffindor Tower. "Just...don't hate me."

"Wha-oh _sweet Merlin_." Her mouth dropped as she watched James swat Gregory's stone arse three times.

"It's the only way to open the passage," James whined, as he whalloped Greg one final time.

"I'm just so disappointed that you never took me through here when we were dating! It's so...romantic."

"Shut up," he grumpily grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the small passage as she cackled in disbelief.

…

"Thank you," Lily smiled as she stepped through the door Ben held open.

"Do you want to find a table while I grab drinks?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded, moving further into the Three Broomsticks.

After a quick scan, she spotted a small table in the back corner and moved toward it. Just as she reached the table, however, another small figure slid into the booth.

"Oh."

"Oh! Lily! Hi! Were you about to sit here? I'm so sorry. Here, you can have it!" Juniper jumped back out of the booth.

Lily shook her head in surprise, but pulled a kind smile. "No, it's...it's okay. You were here first. I'll...we'll find somewhere else." She turned to go, but Juniper grabbed her hand.

"I mean it! I was just coming over here to sit while James grabs some drinks to go anyway. We're not staying!" she smiled brilliantly. As if this was _wonderful news_.

"Are you...are you sure?" Lily asked clumsily, pushing some hair behind her ears.

"Yes! Sit, sit! We can keep each other company until the boys are done." She patted the table enthusiastically. "How are you? What's new? Tell me about life!"

Lily gently slid into the booth and took a shaky breath, not quite comfortable with the arrangement, but without a reliable escape plan. "I'm alright. Ready for summer." She managed another smile.

"Oh, I bet!" June's head bobbed along. "Do you have any plans to travel? I'm going to America, you know!" she gushed.

"Just working back at my family's flower shop in Cokeworth."

"Oh, but that's so lovely! I'm sure that'll be splendid."

"Splendid," Lily echoed with a forced smile.

"Er, June?" a deep voice cut into the conversation and ripped Lily's eyes away from where she had been picking at her fingernails under the table.

She felt her cheeks heat up as James stared at her, a frozen butterbeer in each hand.

"Hi! Lily and I were just talking about summer, until you got here! We were-"

"Got them! Jesus, it's busy in here today." Still an even more new voice joined the conversation. "Oh! Hullo, Potter, Juniper."

James stared at Ben for a moment before his eyes snapped back to the girls at the table. "So who sat down first?" he said shortly.

Juniper blinked, obviously surprised by his tone. "Well, I did, but I told Lily that we were just taking our drinks-"

"Sorry, Evans. I'm sure there's a table for you somewhere over there," he nodded his head jerkily toward the other side of the restaurant, his jaw set.

Lily sputtered. "Oh, I...okay, sure, we'll just-"

"James!" Juniper cried, indignantly. "You said we were taking our drinks outside. I told Lily she could have this table!"

"Well, I guess I changed my mind now haven't I," he challenged the girl, although his hard eyes never left Lily.

Lily felt her heart thumping violently, a familiar prick of anger settling into place. It had been so _long_ since she had properly hexed Potter, but now seemed as good a time as any.

"Actually, _Potter_ , Ben and I were rather hoping _we_ could sit here. It's our first _date_ , see, and we wanted a nice booth." She landed on the word 'date' with a sickening sweetness, side-stepping closer to the Ravenclaw in question.

"And I told her that's _fine,_ " June mitigated, irritation now evident in her own tone as she glared at James.

"It's _not_ fine, Juniper. You were here first. We should get the table. That's only fair!"

" _Fair?_ What can you possibly know about being _fair_ , Potter? Considering you pride yourself on your ability to manipulate and deceive people to get whatever you want!" Lily's voice escalated in biting frustration.

James set the drinks on the table, the foaming liquid sloshing over the rims a bit. "I'm actually quite _honest_ about how I feel, thank you, and as a _matter of fact_ , I place the utmost priority on being forthright with the people I care about!"

" _Lily_ ," Ben whispered, placing a hand on the small of her back, "let's just find another table."

"Yeah, _Lily_ , go find another table with your passive pushover of a boyfriend."

" _Hey_ ," Ben's eyes flashed dangerously as he turned toward James, no longer trying to remain complacent. "I don't know what your deal is, but if you have a problem, you should go ahead and be succinct."

" _Succinct_ ," James spat with a sneer. "Is that what they teach you in righteous _Ravenclaw_? How to use big words to say nothing at all?!"

" _James_ ," June hissed, through gritted teeth. "Let's _go_. _Now._ "

"Don't talk to him like that!" Lily shouted, jumping out of the booth and advancing on the Gryffindor boy. "He didn't do anything to you!"

"And what about you, Evans?" James bit back. "Have you never _done anything to me_ , either?"

Lily's firm countenance faltered as her eyebrows wrinkled. "What are you talking about?" she said, the bulk of her anger replaced by confusion.

He chortled, darkly, towering over her. "Careful, Soares. She's—"

"We're _leaving_!" June cut in, grabbing the drinks off the table and storming away, leaving James behind.

"Have a nice _date_ , Evans." he spit the words at her as he swivelled and followed June toward the door.

...

He peeled back the wrapper of the taffy, sullenly, popping the pastel candy into his mouth without a word. Juniper sat next to him on the bench, her own bag of jelly slugs running significantly low.

After the misadventures in the pub, they had silently made their way to and through Honeyduke's. There had been a short conversation as James tried to pay for her candy and June had insisted on paying for herself, but aside from that, nothing had been said.

They had been on this bench for about thirty minutes now, eating their respective sweets and people watching without interaction.

"Sooo." June popped her lips, obviously trying to just embrace the discomfort of the moment.

James kept his head hung like a chastised toddler, fiddling with the rapper of another piece of salt water taffy.

"We gonna talk about it or pretend it didn't happen?" she said, lightly.

"I like the second option." he winced.

"Too bad that's not a real option." She grabbed the taffy out of his hand and tossed it into her own mouth. "Talk, Potter."

James took a deep breath, leaning back onto the bench. "Well, I've had a rough week."

"Because?"

"Because…" he bit his lip, buying time as he fished for the right words, "I worked things out with Sirius."

"I noticed that." June nodded, grabbing for another piece of taffy. "And I'm happy for you on that front...but making up with your best mate doesn't explain the showdown I just watched. So try again."

"Lily Evans frustrates me."

"Better." June turned more fully toward him. "Why?"

"I don't know," James shrugged, trying not to reveal any certain emotion. "Always has."

"I remember you used to fight in the common room rather frequently. How did that start?"

He shrugged again. "No idea. She was just...an easy target."

"Because she was...a muggleborn?"

" _No._ "

"Just checking, just checking." June offered a taffy as a peace offering. "Easy target because she was...pretty?"

James flinched. "No _._ " he said hurriedly.

June raised an eyebrow. "Interesting." She readjusted her body to sit criss cross facing him on the small bench-not an easy feat. "So _why_?"

He paused for a moment before sighing and nodding in shame. "Because she was pretty."

"Was." Juniper noted. "But that's...not still the issue?"

James didn't say anything.

"So that _is_ still the issue." she nodded, with a quirked eyebrow. "You still fancy her."

"No, I don't!" he cried, quickly.

"Yes," she tilted her head emphatically, grabbing another taffy, "you _do._ "

He moved the whole bag out of her reach before frowning. "I don't like her anymore."

"James," she sighed in exasperation, "I feel like I'm talking to a six-year-old. Just admit to fancying her! You're not going to get anywhere if you stay all grouchy and silent about the matter. Let me help you process."

He pouted at her. "I don't _want_ you to help me process. This is _weird_!"

"Because I'm your ex-girlfriend?" she questioned. "James, _come on_. That's old news. I don't feel that way about you and I know you don't either. So let's grow up and be mature about this, alright? As your _friend_ , I want to help you sort this out. And that's what today was all about, right? Us being _friends_." She dipped her head to catch his sulky eye. "Not at all about trying to make Lily Evans jealous after she agreed to go out with that Ravenclaw bloke?"

"I hate how smart you are." he frowned, drily.

She grinned. "Say it with me: I fancy Lily Evans." She spoke slowly, as if he were doing a primary school recitation. "I...fancy...Lily...Evans."

"Absolutely not."

"James! This has by far been the shoddiest date of my life and I'm giving you the chance to make it worthwhile by admitting that I'm not in fact the girl of your dreams!"

" _I fancy Lily Evans_ , alright?" he cried, suddenly. "Happy?!"

"Quite." she smiled, impishly, before poking his cheek. "But _you're not_."

"Well considering she's in the Three Broomsticks on a date with a bloke who _isn't me_ and I'm eating taffy on a bench with my ex-girlfriend, I think perhaps we can deduce _why_ , yeah?"

She arched a strict eyebrow. "Just because you're miserable, doesn't mean you get to be a prat, alright? She's in there on a date with a bloke _who isn't you_ , because you never asked her out."

James released a harsh bark of laughter. "Oh, haven't I? Do you recall any moments from my fourth and fifth year?"

"That was different," she shook her head. "You didn't even know her then."

"Did too."

"James," she admonished sternly. "You asked her out for the attention. What would you have honestly done if she had ever said yes?"

"Cry, probably." he shrugged, resting his chin in his hand.

"You're not that annoying git anymore. Ask her."

"She'd say no." he pouted.

"How can you know that?"

"Because I _know_ her."

"Well, I'm not an expert on starcrossed lover archetypes, but from what I witnessed in there, I'd say she feels _something_ for you." She chewed on her lip and moved her head from right to left. "Although, granted...it could just be hatred at your total idiocy."

"Thanks."

"Look," she pushed his arm, knocking it out from under his chin and causing him to collapse a bit, "all I'm saying is that you obviously like her a good deal. I'm not sure if she feels the same way, and honestly...I'm not sure if she even _knows_ what she feels. But sulking around and treating her and her date like shit isn't going to score you any points."

…

"I'm so sorry about that. I don't know what he was even talk-"

"It's okay." Ben held a peacemaking hand in the air between them, offering a conciliatory smile. "Doesn't matter. Let's just...forget about it."

Lily hesitated before a smile of her own broke out. "Okay." She nodded, eagerly, amazed at how unfazed he could be after all that.

"I didn't even think to ask if you wanted hot or cold, but I got us both frozen, sorry. Is that alright? I can go-"

"It's perfect," she grabbed for the drink and took a long sip, allowing the cold to numb her mind and freeze out the negativity that their encounter with Potter had brought. "So," she began as she opened her eyes, "I feel pretty dumb since we've known each other for a few months and I don't even know what you're planning to do post-graduation, which is... _Jesus Christ_ , in less than two weeks…" Her eyes doubled in size.

He grinned. "Can I just say how nice it is to hear someone use the Lord's name in vain?"

"Wh-what?" she sputtered, pink tinging her cheeks. She had never had a perfect record when it came to swearing, but she should have at least had the class to watch her mouth on a bloody _first date._ "I'm sor-"

"No!" he laughed, holding up his hands as if to catch her apology before it hit the table between them. "It's a good thing! I mean it. Everyone around here uses…" he leaned in as if he was about to divulge a terrible secret, " _Merlin_."

She couldn't help but giggle. " _I know!_ Who even is Merlin and what authority does he have that we can _swear_ by him?"

"Well, actually, Merlin was known as the Prince of Enchanters. He was part of the Court of King Arthur-oh. I'm...heh." He swallowed, sheepishly. "You were being sarcastic and I just went Ravenclaw on you, didn't I?"

Lily's smile grew as she bobbed her head, nodding and sipping her drink. "Uh huh."

"On a scale of one to you're-about-to-go-to-the-loo-and-never-return, how horribly is this going?"

"I'd say somewhere between it-hasn't-even-been-five-minutes and I-happen-to-have-a-thing-for-smart-guys."

…

The taffy was gone and so were the jelly slugs. James ate an embarrassing amount of both, but talking about _feelings_ meant eating a proportionate amount of sweets.

"You almost kissed her in a broom closet and she accepted a date with Soares the next _day_ ," June mused, after an hour of listening to James rant about the past few years. "Damn."

"Yeah," he breathed, dropping his head into his hands in exhaustion. "I normally talk to Sirius about all of this, but...you asked."

"Guess I did," she said, still a bit shell-shocked by the range of emotions she had just watched James encounter.

He lifted his head. "Also, I hope you don't think that me dating you was just-"

"Stop that." she held up a hand. "I don't...I'm not going to think about those implications quite yet. But I don't hold it against you." she assured him.

He pulled a sideways smile of gratefulness. "Thanks for listening. Sorry I...exploded."

"I just can't believe you...James Potter...have kept all this to yourself for so long."

"Well, to be fair, I didn't. For a couple years there, I was rather transparent."

"How did pantsing her best friend in front of the whole school work out for you, though?"

He winced. "Yeah, that's why I...changed course."

"To ignoring her existence."

"For her own _good_."

"Uh huh. And then you just transitioned to her confidante and knight in shining armour over night?" Juniper shook her head, with a chuckle. "Merlin, James, you've got to learn about subtlety."

He stood up. "I need more candy."

June grabbed his hand pulling him back to the bench. "Not so fast. We're not leaving this bench until we come up with a plan."

"A...plan?" he asked apprehensively.

"Yep." she grinned devilishly. "You're so lucky you have me as an ex-girlfriend."

...

"But he didn't _kiss_ you?" Mary cried in despair, dropping her head over the side of the bed.

Lily blushed. "I don't...I don't really think that's Ben's style."

"His style doesn't include _kissing girls?_ " her friend screeched, incredulously.

"It was the first date! That's not that rare." Anna jumped to Lily's defence. "I think it's very gentlemanly of him, Lils."

Lily shrugged. "Honestly, I don't even know if I _wanted_ him to kiss me…"

"Merlin, how disastrous _was_ this date?" Mary snorted.

"It wasn't disastrous! I just don't know if I see Ben and I...long-term."

"Long-term? You went on one date, Lovely! He's not proposing!"

"I _know_ , but he's leaving!" Lily explained. "If it's going to go anywhere, it'll be...difficult. He's starting his internship at St. Mungo's in a few weeks and-"

"He's going to be a healer?" Anna interrupted excitedly.

"Yes," Lily smiled fondly. "Isn't that great?"

"See, Lils, you _like_ him. Look at that sappy smile. Give it a go!" Mary said encouragingly-a voice that sounded unfamiliar coming out of her body, but made Lily think nonetheless.

"I've never _dated_ anyone before. I don't...I just don't know if I want a relationship right now." Lily bit her lip, considering the option.

Mary groaned. "You've got to try it at some point and Ben Soares is an _excellent_ test run. He is _FIT_."

"He really is." Anna giggled.

Lily swung her legs off the bed, heading for the vanity to brush her hair out. "Well, it's useless to dwell on it anymore tonight, because he hasn't even asked me on a second date."

…

Breakfast on Sunday was uncomfortable at best.

"Ginge! Morning, sunshine!" Sirius plopped on the bench next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

Mary and Anna glared at his arrival, but didn't say anything, knowing verbal spars with Sirius Black only ever ended in loss for the two witches.

"Hello, Guy Fawkes."

"What?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.

"Wizarding education has failed you once again." Lily rolled her eyes, reaching for a muffin. The more she thought about it, the more grateful she became that he missed her nudge toward the insinuation of traitor. As far as he knew, she had no qualms with James and suggesting otherwise would only cause more problems. "When did you and Potter get back together?"

"You know, for a girl who has been shoving me toward James for months now, you don't exactly sound pleased with this breakthrough."

"I'm _elated_ ," Lily said dryly. And she was, really. It was just...complicated. "Thought I'd be privy to the story at some point, but whatever."

"Whoa, whoa, hold your hippogriffs. It's been a crazy couple of days, in case you've forgotten. That's _why_ I came over here to say hi and ask about your you-know-what yesterday."

"My…?"

" _Date._ I know the word gives you the shivers and shakes so I'm terribly sorry to be so explicit."

"You know what they say about curiosity, Black."

"I want you to think long and hard about that colloquialism before you use it on _me_ , Evans. Keep in mind the deep connection I share to _dogs,_ not cats."

Lily couldn't help but smile a little. "Go eat with your boys. I'll fill you in tonight. And you better get your own facts in order because I want to hear how the reunion came about."

Sirius' mouth twitched nervously. "Uh, you may want to bring some extra doses of patience and love to storytime then."

Lily groaned in anticipation of whatever wild commentary Sirius would present.

…

"I'll be late tonight. You can go ahead and turn out the lights."

"Where are you going?" James inquired from the desk.

"Uh," Sirius rubbed the back of his neck as he shuffled backwards toward the door. "To talk to... Evans."

"Ah, of course." James sighed. "Your cozy common room chats."

"It's not like that." Sirius frowned at his friend.

"I know, I know." the bespectacled boy tossed a wadded piece of paper in the air and caught it, not making eye contact with Sirius. "Go on."

"We've just got some similarities, that's all. Nothing weird." Sirius pushed.

"You and _Evans_ have similarities beyond two eyes, two ears, and needing oxygen to survive?" James asked, through a small dry chuckle. "Yeah, alright, if _that's_ your story."

"Oi." Sirius intercepted the ball of parchment. He fixed James with a hard gaze, urging the other wizard to understand. "It's family stuff, mate."

Something shifted in James' eyes at the mention of Sirius' family. "Yeah, of course. Sorry." he nodded with genuine remorse.

Sirius shrugged on a jumper. "Remus'll be back any minute now, yeah?"

"Yeah." said James, sounding tired, though if it was from the events in the forest or something else, Sirius couldn't tell.

"Then you won't go mad from the depravity of my absence? He'll keep you grounded?"

James pulled a small smile. "He'll do his best."

"Talk to you in the morning?" Sirius paused at the door, looking back at his slumped mate.

The other teenager nodded, his gaze unfocused and clouded. "Talk to you in the morning."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter, but necessary as things get cookin' with our lovebirds. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! Cheers!**

...

"I still don't know why we have to do this here," Lily grumbled the next day, as she traipsed up the stairs of the stands that generally served as the professors' spectator box, following Remus. Her eyes frequently flickered down toward the Quidditch pitch, dreading the arrival of the Gryffindor captain and praying to God, Merlin, and anyone else listening that he would not see her.

"I told you," Remus called from a few steps ahead of her. "I promised James I would run the times for him today."

"And do you always do what he says?"

"When he promises to do my final Transfiguration essay? Hell yeah."

Lily groaned. "I thought you were the _good_ one."

He laughed. "Common misconception. Here," he slid onto a bench. "This'll work."

"Where's the team even at? I thought practice starts at 5."

"They'll be along." Remus craned his neck to look toward the locker room building. "The last practice was sloppy so he's probably just yelling at them today anyway."

"Yelling at them?" Lily laughed in slight disbelief. "It's recreational _sport,_ for Merlin's sake."

Remus peered at her with one eye of disbelief. "Sometimes I wonder what part of you ever managed to magnetise the great James Potter."

Lily blanched. "Well, I...he nev...what do-"

"Look, here they are now," he mercifully cut in, motioning toward the pitch.

Sure enough, eight figures were trudging out of the locker room, trailed by an obviously agitated ninth figure. James quickened his pace from behind his team and pushed toward the front, blowing a whistle, as he came to a stop in the center of the field.

Lily's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Remus, contempt evident on her face. "What tosser gave him a bloody _whistle_?" she whispered for no reason. Their height put them a good distance away from the team, but Lily still felt an obligation to talk quietly. He could _not_ see her here.

"The tosser helping you with detention slips," Remus said, proudly. "It's got a few amplifying charms permanently set on it, too. Brilliant work."

Lily snorted. "If you may so yourself."

James was yelling at the team, but it was impossible to hear his exact instructions from their distance. The team seemed to understand him clearly, though, because they simultaneously started running in a circle around the interior of the pitch.

"Where are their brooms?" Lily wanted to know.

"This is conditioning." Remus explained. "Sometimes they don't pick up a broom for a whole practice. James is really big on team theory, so he puts a lot of focus on just staying in shape as a group."

"Huh," Lily hummed, turning toward the stack of detention slips in her lap. "Okay, first up," she said, lifting one of the small sheets. "Hanson, Rosemary. Ravenclaw, fourth year. Inappropriate comment in Potions."

"Five points," said Remus.

"Works for me," Lily set the parchment on the bench in front of her, starting a new stack for detentions worth five-point house deductions. "Fenwick, Benjamin. Hufflepuff, seventh year. Illegal substance in the castle."

"Meaning alcohol?"

"Yeah, looks like...a common room party?" Lily said, squinting her eyes as she scanned through the details of the detention slip.

Remus chuckled. "I helped throw that party. Poor sod must have gotten caught on his way back to Hufflepuff."

" _Remus!_ " Lily scolded, though she was smiling just as freely. "We'll make it another five-pointer." She added the parchment to her stack. "Hardy, Camilla. Gryffindor, seventh year. Out after curfew."

"Hang on," he held up a hand indicating her to pause. He stood up on the stand to get a better vantage of the students running laps on the field and then shrugged his shoulders, turning back to Lily. "I guess he'll signal when he needs me to start timing drills. Sorry, go on, I'm listening."

"Can he see us?" Lily nodded down to the pitch.

"Only if you stand up. Why?" Remus asked, missing the worry inching into her tone.

"Just wondering." Lily shrugged, stiffly. "Breaking curfew. Five points?"

"Well," he shifted uncomfortably. "With, recent events...I think being out after curfew is a bit of a bigger deal, yeah? So maybe...fifteen?"

Lily chewed on her lip, staring at the page silently for a moment. Then, she nodded and started a new stack. "Next is McDouglas, Coriell. Another illegal substance. Five points." She moved the parchment to the stack without waiting for Remus' input.

"Lily," Remus began, with quiet awkwardness. "I...uh know we haven't ever talked about-"

"What are they doing now?" she interrupted abruptly, standing from her seat and stepping down onto the next bench.

Remus blinked. "What?"

"The team. _Look_." She jabbed her finger toward the field, as she leaned forward on the bench.

Remus turned his head toward the pitch, following her pointing gesture. Potter's teammates were sitting in the middle of the pitch, some leaning back on their arms, some fully sprawled across the turf. All of them were breathing heavily.

"What are they doing?" she repeated.

Remus sat back on his bench. "Looks like they're taking a break." he said, easily, grabbing for the stack of detention slips.

"Practice started ten minutes ago." she said incredulously.

"I don't know, Lily. I don't play Quidditch, remember?" Remus sighed, slight irritation evident in his voice as he jerked his head toward the stack of papers. "Lane, Philomena. Disrespect of professor. Five points?"

Lily sighed. "Sure." She grabbed for the stack again. "Seaux, Bailey. Inappropriate physical displays of affection."

"McGonagall said we should start doing ten for those."

"Fine by me." Lily shrugged, beginning a new stack.

"Looks like her PDA counterpart," Remus said, reading the next slip. "Venner, Joseph. Ten points."

"Wait." Lily craned her neck again. "What's he doing?"

Remus glanced down at the pitch with disinterest, noticing the team still seated on the pitch as James ran laps around the edge. "Running laps for them."

"Running what?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes when the team is having a rough day, James will do the conditioning for them."

Lily's eyebrows collided. "What does that mean?"

The werewolf cocked an eyebrow and set the parchments down, turning his full attention to Lily. "The last game of the season is tomorrow, but the team has been practising terribly for the past two weeks. Absolute rubbish. Like I said, he's a big 'teamwork' guy, so when the team sucks, everyone does their part in reaping the punishment. Even him."

"Okay, that's...noble of him."

"But sometimes," Remus continued, "that's just not enough. If the team's morale is already zero, making them run laps isn't going to fix anything. So James does his own sort of conditioning exercise. He does the work-out on their behalf."

"What the hell does that accomplish?"

Remus leaned back on the bench, studying Lily. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," Lily defended quickly, "I just think this practise seems like a waste of time and I'm wondering why everyone thinks Potter is such a Quidditch hotshot if the team just sits and watches him run every day."

"James is a brilliant captain."

She snorted, gesturing toward the pitch. "Obviously."

"Why are you at this Quidditch practise in the first place?" he countered, shortly.

"What?" She blinked, a hazy green filling her eyes as she looked to Remus with confusion.

"Why are you here with me?" His words were crisp and not characterised by the normal Remus softness.

"You offered to help me with detention slips," she said slowly, unsure where this was going.

"Are they _my_ detention slips?"

"No," Lily frowned grumpily. "You got yours done and turned in on time." She rolled her eyes.

"Exactly. So these are entirely _your_ responsibility and I'm only helping you out of the benevolence of my heart, right?"

The redhead's face started to heat up. "Look, Remus, if you don't want to help, I can-"

"No, listen to me." he said sharply, but not unkindly. Lily found herself unable to continue her retort, equally intrigued and confused by Remus' tone of authority. "How would you feel if I sat here and did all of your work for you while you sat there and ate pudding?"

"Grateful," Lily smiled impishly.

"How would you _really_ feel?" Remus pressed through narrowed eyes.

"Like absolute shit," Lily responded, light of realisation coming into her eyes.

"James isn't just running the assigned three laps around the pitch. He's doing three laps for each of his teammates."

"But that's...27 laps!" Her eyes widened. "That's mental!"

"That's James," Remus smiled fondly as he watched his friend's figure jogging around the pitch. "To him, the extra pain and sweat is worth it for his team to gain spirits. Watching your captain take the punishment _you_ deserve hits you and motivates you to not let it happen again. James _loves_ Quidditch-"

"Understatement of the year."

"-but he _loves_ his team even more. He read all sorts of books on leadership last summer and has a pretty good system worked out for the team."

Remus continued to drag on about his friend, but Lily stopped listening. She couldn't rip her eyes away from James' lithe figure jogging loops and loops around the pitch. He was _insane_ to take sport so seriously, and _wizarding_ sport at that. He wasn't being paid or offered any sort of compensation.

Sure, other students always rumoured that he had a shot at going pro after school but Lily had held enough conversations with the wizard to know that that wasn't something he actually wanted to pursue. Not _heroic_ enough, Lily thought with a sardonic sigh.

The boy was an absolute enigma.

...

" _SO_ ," a cheery voice yelled before it's owner catapulted herself out of the doorway to Charms and in step with James. "Any updates?"

James closed his eyes and took a deep breath, not slowing his pace. "Merlin, you scared me."

Juniper cackled. "Sorry!" She was not. "So whatcha got?"

"What do you _mean_?" he shot back, irritation evident in his still-shaken countenance.

"I _mean_ have you talked to You-Know-Who."

He stopped walking at this and fixed her with a look of concerned bewilderment before his eyes widened and he continued to walk. "You mean Lily."

"Of course I mean Lily. Who else would-oh good Godric, you thought I meant the _other_ You-Know-Who?"

James shrugged in annoyance, quickening his brisk walk. "I just got confused."

She laughed openly. "You're so thick sometimes."

"Thank you."

"Where are you going in such a hurry anyway?" she struggled to keep up, her short legs not quite matching his strides.

"Nowhere."

Juniper frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I just don't appreciate the nagging is all."

"You do know the ball is in your court, don't you? You could end this, right now. You know where she is."

James stopped abruptly, pulling the Gryffindor girl to the side hallway. "Lower your voice, would you?" His own tone dropped to a hurried, hushed timbre. "I've been ridiculously busy, okay? Haven't exactly had time to hold a feelings circle with her."

"Well, you've got one day before you both leave for holiday." June pointed out, her arms crossed against her chest.

"Then, I guess it'll have to wait until next term, won't it?" he bit back.

Juniper's eyes dropped into a glare before she swatted his shoulder. "You nesh nancy! You're not going to do it at all!"

The dark-haired wizard adjusted the bag on his shoulder with a huff. "Leave it alone, June."

"I don't understand you," she shook her head in disappointment. "You're all about honesty, honesty, honesty until _this_. I couldn't come up with enough positive qualities to fill a dissertation on you-"

"Thanks."

"-but honesty would be top of the list. So what the hell is wrong with you?"

He tugged at the curls along the nape of his neck. "I don't know how to just...bring it up."

"Oi, Evans!" she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, adopting an overexaggerated smirk and low voice. "I fancy you. Thoughts?"

"Be quiet," he hissed, swatting at her arms. "It's not that easy and you know it."

She laughed. "Well, whatever. Your own unhappiness is on you, but you at least owe her an explanation and apology."

"I do not-"

"MWAH MWAH." she mimed, wrapping her arms around her torso and snogging the air between them.

He stared at her with a medley of detachment and detestation. "I hate you. I really _really_ hate you." She cackled, accordingly. "And we _didn't kiss._ "

"Well then maybe you should apologise for _that._ " She grinned. "As a girl who has been on the receiving end of a James Potter snog, I can firmly say-"

"Don't you dare finish that statement." James closed his eyes in self-disgust. "I _hate_ your comfortability in bringing that up."

Juniper giggled, good-naturedly. "If you can't laugh at your mistakes, what can you do?"

"Wait a minute... _mistakes_?" James gasped dramatically, now playing along. "When did we start calling our flop of a relationship a _mistake_ , pray tell?"

"Probably around the time you admitted to your red-head partiality." she teased, raising her head high and walking away, the obvious victor in this battle of wits.

"Not so fast, you prat," James gaped after her, catching her arm and beginning to tickle her mercilessly.

"Okay, okay!" she managed between bouts of hysteria. "Stop it! You win, you win!"

He joined in with laughter of his own, now fully overtaking her. "Say it like you mean it, Alessio!"

"You win! You're wonderful!" she cried, desperately trying to escape his clutches. "The most brilliant boy in this school! I wish everyone could be just like you! I worship the ground you walk on!"

A third-party tittering interrupted their fray.

James and June paused their battle to blink at the new arrival: a second-year Gryffindor who watched the older wizards with big eyes of admiration.

"Er, hello." James stood up straight, pulling at his jumper to readjust it. "I'm...James."

"I know. I'm Gracie."

"Hello, Gracie..."

"Hi."

"Did you…" he glanced around the hall, looking for any reason she would have found her way to the corner he and June were hidden in, "need something?"

"Nope!" she grinned, her little mouth suddenly compensating for half of her face. With a bounce and a skip, she jogged away, giggling with glee.

James shifted his gaze back to Juniper and immediately busted out laughing.

…

"I need everyone to stop freaking out."

"Freaking out? _Who's freaking out?_ " Anna practically squealed through her cartoon grin.

Lily groaned. "If you guys are going to be weird about it, I'll just-"

"We're not going to be weird!" Mary interjected. " _Right, Brodeur?_ " She added with a hefty slap on Anna's back.

"Yep!" the smaller witch added between coughs. "Not...weird!"

"He's just a boy and we're just studying." Lily took a deep breath, lining her pens up for the tenth time of the last five minutes.

Mary leaned across the small library table and flicked one of the pencils, sending it flying off the table. "You're freaking out way more than we are, Lovely. Admit it."

"No, I'm not! There is nothing to freak out over." Lily picked up the pencil with a huff. "Ben is my friend and he asked if I wanted to go over the final Charms essay. And don't call me _Lovely._ "

"Soares isn't even in your same _year_ , Lil. He definitely doesn't have the same homework as you." Mary snorted.

Lily's face got a little warmer. "We both like Charms, so we're just going to bounce ideas off each other. Nothing serious. Besides...you guys are literally going to be sitting here the entire time."

"Nothing serious," Mary echoed, with a bark of harsh laughter. "You just practically described a sexual fantasy."

"I certainly _hope_ our being here isn't a part of the sexual fantasy," Anna giggled. Lily rolled her eyes and shoved her textbook across the small table toward her.

" _Shhh!_ " Madame Pince's sandpaper voice echoed through the library. "Quiet study groups _only_."

"Sorry!" the three girls giggled in unison. Some things never changed and Madame Pince's absolute detestation of all children was top of the list. The Gryffindor girls had been laughing about it since first year.

"Is this the _quiet study group_ Pince was so kindly advertising?" Ben slid into the open seat across from Lily. Anna dn Mary immediately erupted into further giggles.

Lily managed a smile through her blush. "This is the one."

"Hi." he grinned easily.

"Hi."

"And that's where we take our leave! Later, Lils, later, Soares." With that, Mary popped out of her own seat and grabbed Anna by the arm, dragging the copper-haired girl off.

"Wait, where are you...going…" Lily sighed as her friends rounded a tall shelf and disappeared.

"Did I scare them off?" Ben frowned after them.

Lily took a centering breath and focused on the Ravenclaw in front of her, offering him a smile. "Doubtful. I've had no luck with ditching them in six years of practice."

"Well, that's all right. To be honest, I rather prefer it this way."

Lily's eyes bugged a bit as she noted the wizard's nervous smile. "Cool." she managed before returning to her essay.

...

"No, you fold it on the side."

"I _did_." James pouted.

"That's the top of it. Hand it here." Peter held his hand out to receive James' pitiful attempt at a paper aeroplane.

The marauders-sans Remus-were in the dungeons, a hundred first-year cauldrons stacked messily beside them. Slughorn had been assigned to monitor their detention this particular morning and he never remembered to take their wands. A hundred dirty cauldrons divided by the three of them, well...two as Sirius spent most of the time carving obscenities into the wooden floorboard...was quick work with magic.

"You did the same thing as last time. This has to be symmetrical." Peter sighed, fumbling with the parchment. "If we had Muggle paper, this would work better."

The boys still had half an hour before Slughorn was due to check in and release them so they were doing what they could to stay sane in the dark, foul-smelling bottom floor of the castle.

"I'm bored." Sirius whined from his slumped position against the grey, cement wall.

"Make a plane," James tossed a wad of parchment at the dark-haired wizard.

Peter rubbed his temples. "Crumpled parchment doesn't work," he muttered to himself as he dropped James' attempt and gave up, once and for all.

"We leave this place _tomorrow,_ but we're stuck here all morning cleaning firsties' rubbish. This is stupid." Sirius continued, aimlessly shooting small whisps of colour from his wand.

"Just be glad we aren't dealing with Filch." James offered with a shrug.

"Let's just leave." suggested Sirius half-heartedly before truly considering his words. "No, really!" The wand colours disappeared with a powdery poof. "Let's go."

"Padfoot," James frowned. "We only have like 20 minutes left. Sluggy will come back and let us go with zero trouble. We can make it a few more minutes."

Sirius pushed off from the ground, stepping on Peter's perfect aeroplane, eliciting a cry from the other Gryffindor. "When was the last time we did anything exciting? We're _marauders_ aren't we?"

"You do know that we _are_ in detention for baiting and fighting death eaters, right?"

"That doesn't count!" Sirius waved off. "We missed out on months of fun. The year ends tomorrow! Come _on_."

"I just think that-"

"Prongs." cut in Sirius with a sharp glare. "You're being soft. What's the deal?"

James shifted his glasses and scrunched up his face. "It's not even worth it! He's literally going to be back in a few minutes. And Peter was teaching us how to do fun Muggle things!" He gestured wildly toward Peter who sat with an unimpressed expression of contempt.

"Oh yeah, Prongs, we're having a grand ol' time." Peter deadpanned.

James' eyebrows lifted. "You wanna ditch, too?"

"Um yes." responded Wormtail, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're the nancy here, Prongs. Let's go." Sirius held his hand out. "Map, please."

"I think-"

" _James_. Is this because of your…" Sirius shot a quick glance at Peter before his lips twitched and he stood a little straighter. "Your _assignment_ from Dumbledore."

"What assignment?" Peter scrambled to his feet.

"Nothing," James glared.

Sirius crosses his arms across his chest. "Then, stop playing Mum and _let's go_."

James pushed off the floor and shoved the Map at Sirius' chest. "You lead. I'm not taking the fall for this first-year shit."

…

He'd asked her out again.

She shouldn't have been _completely_ shocked, but hearing Ben's hushed library voice say "how would you feel about another date?" still threw her for a colossal loop. So much so that she stabbed a hole through the parchment and had to do a series of small erasing spells to save her essay.

She'd said yes, because why shouldn't she? Ben was sweet! And Lily really did get along with him better than most boys at Hogwarts. Plus, the girls were right: Ben Soares was _fit_.

Not that that was the deciding factor, of course, but it...helped.

Having successfully turned in her completed essay to Flitwick and walked around the castle for half an hour with Ben, she was headed back to Gryffindor Tower, readying herself for the ambush that would no-doubt occur when she opened the door to the sixth-year girls' dorm.

The sound of raucous laughter down the corridor halted her. Boys...and at least two or three, by the sound of it. She froze.

Before Ben split off to Ravenclaw, he had insisted on walking her to her own Tower, but she denied, feeling particularly brave and unconcerned with her own anxiety and instructions from Dumbledore. Gryffindor Tower was only a few minutes walk away anyway and it was broad daylight.

Hearing the sound of boys quickly approaching sent her into an immediate panic, though, and her wand was in-hand-shaky as it may be-within seconds.

" _STUP-_ "

"Evans!"

Lily blinked, taking in the approaching familiar faces. "I...oh."

"Little quick to the trigger there, aren't we, Ginge?" Sirius offered a smile as he stopped in front of her, using his hand to slowly push her wand to her side.

She laughed, breathily. "Yeah, sorry. I was just-"

"S'fine." Sirius waved it off. "What are you roaming about for?"

"I was-wait." Her eyebrows knitted together. "I thought you had detention."

"We got out earl-" Peter started before Sirius cut him off.

"We're skiving."

Peter and James' mouth dropped.

" _Mate_." Peter whined.

Lily put a hand on her hips, glaring at Sirius. "Black, you can't just skive off detention. You're going to lose points for Gryffindor and the house cup is literally being awarded _tomorrow_."

"Lose points from _you_." Peter whined, crossing his arms in a grumpy pout.

The witch sent a sharp look his way. "I'm not docking points, git. But your detention prof will for sure when they see you're gone."

"It was James' idea." Sirius shrugged.

James scoffed, incredulously. " _It was n_ -"

"Oh." Lily's eyes darkened as she seemed to notice the third boy for the first time. "I see."

"It was _not_ my idea. In fact, I tried to _stop them_!" he cried, indignantly.

"I'm sure." Lily's eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"What, you don't believe me?" James snapped.

" _No!_ " she shouted back. "I _don't_. It sounds like the exact sort of irresponsibility that always seems to reek of James Potter."

"Oh, _do_ try to be more fifth-year." he rolled his eyes.

"Don't try to act like you've outgrown your idiocy!"

"Like you've outgrown your tendency to be the world's biggest bitch?"

"I've missed this," Sirius sighed wistfully, throwing an arm around Peter and enjoying the free entertainment.

"This is a waste of my time." she spat, turning on her heels and marching back down the corridor.

"Hey!" James shouted, jogging right after her and completely forgetting the other two boys. "Why are you even out here alone?!"

" _What?_ " she whipped back around.

He held her gaze, with even intensity. "I _said_ why are you out here alone, _Evans_?"

"Because I wanted to be, _Potter_."

"Well, that's stupid!"

"Don't call me stupid! It's the middle of the day! No one's going to attack me in broad daylight on the main floor!"

"Tell that to your _wrist_. It almost snapped at the rate of motion from drawing your wand two minutes ago."

"I was being _cautious_."

"You're being an _idiot_. You know what Dumbledore said! It's dangerous for you to wander-"

"What Dumbledore said? How the hell do _you_ know what Dumbledore said? _You've avoided me like the bloody plague since that day in the broom closet!_ "

James breathed, huffily. "That is _not_ what this is about so don't even start-"

" _For your information, Potter_ , I'd been alone for _maybe_ five minutes before you pricks showed up. I'm not _wandering_ for the hell of it, okay? Not that it's _any of your business_ , but I was with Ben until just a few minutes ago and I was literally headed straight back to the Tower-"

"Oh, now the story is coming together!" he jeered with a twisted smile, towering over her. "You were with Soares. Of _course_ your judgment was off!"

Her wand was in her hand in a second, tip stabbing into his chest. "Don't say another word against Ben Soares. I don't know what your fucking probme with him is, but he's never done a single thing to you so get over yourself."

James didn't flinch at her wand, almost relishing the sharp pain in his sternum. "Quick to defend a bloke you barely even know, Evans."

"Barely even know?" she asked incredulously. "You've gone out with girls you literally don't know the _first name of_ , so _please_ hold off on _this_ lecture."

"That's not fair at all, Evans. I haven't done that since last year and you know it."

She shook her head quickly. "Well, it...it doesn't matter. _None_ of this matters. Just...stop choosing moments of convenience to wedge yourself into my life."

"What does that even mean?"

"I mean the next time you want a test subject to play hero on, _just ask_. You don't have to fabricate months of friendship first." Her voice broke off, hoarse from emotion and exhaustion. "Whatever. Just...have a good summer holiday." She turned quickly and headed down the hallway toward Gryffindor Tower.

James stood still, watching her hunched figure hurry away. He was suddenly aware of how quick and erratic his breathing had apparently become. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the blankness that the back of his eyelids brought him.

"Mate," Sirius' hand was on his shoulder within seconds. "You all right?"

"Yeah. Fine." James shook Sirius' hand off before resuming the journey down the corridor.

Sirius nodded, following silently.

"What happened in the broom closet?" squeaked Peter as he hopped to catch up with their long-legged strides.

...

 **As always, let me know whatcha think. xoxo**

 **Abi**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Physical! Contact!**

 **...**

"Come on, Lil."

Lily frowned, poking her finger in between the wires of her owl's cage. "Something's wrong with her."

"Did you forget to feed her?" asked Mary.

Lily barely heard her friend, scrutinising the small owl. "She was fine yesterday….Echo? Come on, girl. Perk up for me."

"Just grab her, Lily. We've gotta go."

"Go ahead," Lily waved off her friend, eyes still on the bird. "I want to make sure she's okay to travel."

"If you're sure. Don't miss the carriages and _don't_ let yourself be the last one in here." Mary shot a firm brow at the red-headed witch.

"I'm fine, go, go. Save me a seat." she waved off her friend, still poking about in the cage.

The petite, tawny owl had been her prized possession since second year. The Evans' first trip to Diagon Alley had been overwhelming, to say the _least_ , and Lily's parents had not been fully trusting of the recommendation that their daughter take an owl or _toad_ to school as a pet.

After Lily completed her first year, she managed to convince her parents of the legitimacy of having an owl as a pet at Hogwarts and her dad bought her Echo. Lily couldn;t decide between all the beautiful birds, so she pulled her mum out of the store and told her dad to pick a good one for her. He had stepped out of the shop victorious only moments later, Echo in hand.

She'd been with Lily through it all, carrying updates of her family's flower shop's success, gossip around Hogwarts, summer holiday correspondence with Mary and Anna, and well-worded insults to various boys who had teased her and her friends over the years. Eventually, Echo had also played host to less juvenile posts containing progress updates of her dad's deteriorating health and the ultimate request for her to come home for a week to attend his funeral.

Through it all, Echo had remained firm, chirping cheerily no matter the news. It gave Lily great comfort and joy to know there was a being that didn't sense the pain or heartbreak the rest of the world was so familiar with. Lily's presence was always enough for Echo.

But here she was, practically shivering, her small head retracted into her feathery brown torso.

"Come on, Echo. You gotta get some pep, mate. We're going home today." The bird offered no response. "I'm sorry I've been leaving you in the owlery so much lately. It's just that Marlene's kind of afraid of birds and I feel so bad putting you on display in the same place she sleeps." Echo gave a tiny coo. "Atta girl, Ec. When we get home, I'll let you have full roam of my room, as long as you promise not to tell Mum and _especially_ not Tuney."

Lily sighed, looking around the owlery. It was slowly clearing out, leaving only her and a few other students gathering their birds. She really did need to go or she'd miss the last of the carriages to the station.

"Echo, love, we've gotta go. I'll be gentle, but you've gotta do your part and wake up all the way, okay?" The bird was no longer shivering, but Lily wasn't anymore comforted by this. "Show me those pretty eyes, Ec."

She lifted the small cage carefully and started the trek from the top of the West Tower toward the carriages that would carry her away from the castle for the next few months.

It has been an eventful year, the hardest one yet, but she felt a certain sort of hope as she looked out over the grounds of the school she had spent six full years calling home. She had made the right choice, choosing to come back to Hogwarts. _That_ was something she never regretted, no matter how often she had little moments of anxiety or triggered memories.

"Only one more year for us here, mate." Lily released a huff of air, descending the steps. "And then...who knows."

Only a few months ago, she had been _so_ confident in wanting to be an Auror, but now...she wasn't so sure. The war was so much more real to her than it had ever been before and a structured career seemed almost trivial in light of that. She wasn't sure what her other options were, but job applications and networking with ministry officials seemed significantly less important than it had before.

Echo released a strained chirp. Lily paused at the bottom of the steps to take a look at her bird and frowned. There were feathers littering the bottom of the cage where there had only been a few pellets before. The small bird continued violently pulling her own feathers out, chirping painfully all the while. "Echo! No! Stop that!" Lily cried, dropping into a crouch and setting the cage next to her.

She opened the hatch and reached in to save the owl from itself but Echo chomped on her finger forcefully as soon as she reached for her. " _Ow!_ Echo, stop that! You're hurting yourself!" She desperately made a move to grab her again, but the owl thrashed against the cage, leaving deep claw marks along Lily's hand.

The witch hissed in pain, trying once again to stop the spazzing bird.

"Leave it alone!" a voice called from behind her.

Lily turned to see unfamiliar black trainers before she followed the feet up to the face of Regulus Black. She immediately jumped to her feet, withdrawing her wand.

He dropped his eyebrows at the wand, but pushed past her with a quick, "move aside."

"Hey! What are you-"

"She's dying." he said simply, crouching next to Echo's cage.

"Get away from her! Don't touch her!"

"I'm not going to touch her. She's dying."

Lily scrunched her nose. "She's _fine_."

"Whatever," the Slytherin shrugged his shoulders and stood up, already beginning to move away from the witch and her bird.

"Wait," Lily called, against her better judgement. "What...that is...how do you know?"

He paused with his back still to her, hands in his pockets. "Happened to my bird last year."

"Is there...a way I can stop her?"

He turned back around, studying Lily's face for a moment before shaking his head. "She's sick. Been sick for a while, probably. It's better that she dies. Less pain."

"But I…" Lily looked back at the helpless animal, almost bare of feathers now and seeming to calm down. "I haven't done anything different. She seemed fine yesterday. I didn't…."

He shrugged again. "Just happens. Not your fault."

The cage went quiet. Both teenagers involuntarily moved closer to the bird. Regulus kneeled back down and gently reached his hands into the cage, withdrawing the now-lifeless bird. "Dead," he nodded, before setting the body back in the cage.

Lily blinked in horror, willing herself not to cry. Not here. Not with him.

"You should leave her in the hay up in the owlery. The elves come clean once we're all gone and they'll take care of it."

"I'm...I can't just _leave her_ ," Lily choked out.

"You can't take a dead bird on a train."

The Gryffindor witch pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, thinking through the last five minutes.

"I...can't." she finally managed.

He stood still for a moment, hands still in his pockets before shifting awkwardly. "I can…" He cleared his throat. "I'll do it."

Lily watched the younger boy in a mix of confusion and suspicion.

He sighed. "Like I said. It happened to Thunderst- _my owl_ ….last year."

Slowly, Lily nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath, nodding her head. "Yeah, okay."

Regulus reached back into the cage and withdrew the small owl, cradling it uncharacteristically gently in his arms. He stood back up and made to turn and head up the steps before turning back toward Lily. "Your hand. It's bleeding."

Lily's eyebrows scrunched in confusion befores he looked down and noted the red that was indeed covering her right hand. Seeing the blood forced the pain of the bird's scratch to register in her mind. "Shit."

"You need to go to the hospital wing."

Lily froze.

"What did you say?" she asked him after what felt like years of silence.

He looked at her strangely and nodded his head toward her hand. "That needs to be cleaned. You need to go to the hospital wing and have Harding or Pomfrey look at it."

 _You need to go to the hospital wing_.

 _You need to go to the hospital wing_.

 _You need to go to the hospital wing_.

And just like that, it hit her.

…

"Moony, stop being such a martyr."

Remus scoffed, affronted. "I'm not being a _mar_ -"

"You are," James interrupted. "It's typical Moony protocol."

Sirius nodded, using his wand to manoeuvre his trunk into the top compartment of the carriage. "We had a rough moon, so you become a martyr."

"Happens every time."

"Clockwork, mate."

Remsu shifted at the flippant mention of his most recent transformation, the closest he had been to killing a student since the Snape incident. "I simply-"

"Moony." James snapped. "You're riding in here with us. I'm sorry, Pete, but, frankly, I don't care that you told Holly What's-Her-Face she could ride with you. The four of us always take the carriage back to the station together. So, get in here and shut up, Remus."

The werewolf looked uncertainly at Peter, who seemed miffed at James' comment but ready to comply. "Wouldn't be right without you, Moony." he offered with a genuine half-smile. "I'll catch _Heather_ ," he shot a pointed look at James, "on the platform."

"Thanks," said Remus, quietly, adding his own battered trunk to the rickety shelf.

Content with the arrangement, James closed his eyes and threw his feet up on the seat across from him, his dirty trainers rubbing against Sirius' trouser leg. Sirius promptly pushed both of his feet back onto the floor, but James didn't seem bothered.

"This time next year, we'll be riding away for the last time."

"Don't get sappy on us, Prongs. We still have a whole year." reminded Peter.

"And what an interesting year it's going to be for our dear Prongs, huh?" said Sirius with emphasis.

Peter quirked a brow, but James only nestled deeper into his seat. "You can't ruin my zen today, Padfoot. We're going _home_."

"I bet Evans could ruin your zen." said Peter.

His eyes remained closed behind his glasses. "Not even her."

"Even if she's running down the hill with Sirius' brother and her hand is wrapped in bloody gauze?" Peter chuckled.

Sirius looked at Peter incredulously. "What the fuck?" Then, he followed Peter's line of sight and saw that this wasn't a hypothetical.

"Oh Merlin. _Oh fucking Merlin_. Look. LOOK!" He motioned wildly out the carriage window, before catapulting over Peter (ignoring the yelps of pain) and throwing open the carriage door. " _LILY!_ " he bellowed, before jumping out of the carriage.

"Sirius, you're going to miss the..." Remus sighed, shaking his head at his friend's antics. He turned to the other two boys for camaraderie, but saw that the spot next to him was empty. "Oh Jesus Christ. _Where did James go?_ " He demanded from Peter, but Peter just pointed.

Remus saw the tall wizard race to catch up with Sirius, whipping around the other side of the carriage. He groaned in frustration before standing up and looking to Peter. "Well, what are you still on your arse for? Let's go!"

"What?" yelped the smaller boy. "I don't wan-" But Remus was gone, sprinting out the carriage behind his friends, wand in hand. " _Urgh_." But he was out of the carriage in seconds.

" _Expelliarmus!"_ Sirius was already shouting, violently jabbing his wand toward his brother.

It was Lily's " _Protego!_ " that deflected the spell.

" _Expell-_ " he started again before Lily flicked her wand and delivered a quick stinging spell. "OW."

"Stop trying to disarm him!" she yelled, breathlessly, finally meeting the Marauders and hunching over to catch her breath. Regulus stood back, guarded and uncomfortable.

"What the fuck is going on?" Sirius demanded.

" _Nothing_ ," Lily insisted, as she stood back up, taking a ragged breath. He was helping me with something and we both realised what time it was."

" _So_?"

" _So_ , we were going to miss the carriages if we didn't run."

"You had to run _together_?" Sirius spat in disgust.

"Well, I sure wasn't going to give him a ten-minute headstart, now was I?" she snapped with a hand on her hip.

Remus chuckled, pocketing his wand.

"I don't know why you're _laughing_ , Moony, but I don't think this is funny." He glared at the wizard still smiling behind him. "Don't put your wand away!" He whipped his head back around to Lily before his eyes widened. "And why are you bleeding?!" He made a motion to flick his wand toward Regulus again, but Lily side-stepped, placing herself between the brothers.

"He didn't do anything. It was just my owl."

"Your owl," Sirius scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "Where is she?"

Lily's lips twitched. "She uh...well at the owlery...she…"

"Dead." Regulus spoke up for the first time.

"Hey, shut the fuck up!" Sirius bellowed in dramatic rage.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay, as much as I'd love to listen to you scream senselessly for another ten minutes, we _have_ to catch those carriages- _bugger_."

All five boys shifted their gazes to the carriages which were now in motion, rolling away from their rendezvous.

"Run!" yelled Peter.

All six of the teenagers took off sprinting.

Regulus' lithe body and years of Quidditch took him easily to the front of the group, even passing James. This further motivated Sirius to run even harder, but he just couldn't keep up with the Slytherin. None of them could. As they caught up to the end of the line of carriages, Reg was jumping into one further up the line, being pulled in by Snape and a couple other Slytherins.

"Our stuff! Is! Up! There!" James huffed, still maintaining a full sprint as he raced ahead of the others, trying to find their empty carriage. "FOUND IT! COME ON!"

This was the push the others needed for the last leg of their run, Sirius reaching the carriage and helping James to subsequently pull Remus, Lily, and Peter in. Only when Sirius and James turned away from the door and noted the crammed compartment did it register how little room they truly had.

"Er, I can-" Lily rubbed at her neck, hovering on the edge of the seat next to Remus.

"You can nothing, Ginge. There's nowhere else for you to go and we can squeeze. Budge over, Wormy." Sirius plopped onto the seat next to Peter, leaving James the dilemma of sharing the side with Remus and Lily-the two thinnest teens in the carriage-or Sirius and... _Peter_.

Lily noticed the conflict in his face and sighed to herself, shifting over practically onto Remus' lap. "Sit down, Potter." She nodded toward the spot next to her. The Quidditch captain nodded gratefully and took the seat, sitting upright and rigid, unwilling to let any part of himself or clothing touch her.

…

"So let me get this straight." Sirius shook his head for at least the fifth time in the fifteen minutes they had been in the carriages. All of the Marauders and Lily had shed their various jumpers and top layers in the heat of the small compartment. "He was there. Regulus...my _brother_...was there the night you got attacked."

"Well, yes and no." Lily sighed. "He wasn't there when they actually attacked me. I'm sure of it."

"Then, how-"

"After. I don't...I don't know how. He was there and he's the one that took me to the hospital wing."

"Healer Harding said you were unconscious, though." Remus supplied. "How could you have known?"

"Well, that's just it." Lily nodded. "I _was_ unconscious. Didn't remember a thing after they got me in...the lake." She hadn't talked about the incident with anyone other than her mum and Dumbledore, so it was difficult, this rehashing. "They did some botched memory charms to try and cover their tracks, I'm sure, and I blacked out at some point from pain or-"

"We get it," James cut in, quickly, speaking for the first time since getting in the carriage. His face twisted a bit as he turned to look out the window. "Just keep going. We already know what happened that night."

Lily studied his profile for a second before nodding. "Right. Well, anyway, when Dumbeldore asked me at St. Mungo's, that's all I could remember, honestly. He didn't push me to talk about how I got to the hospital wing because he already _knew_ how I got there. I actually asked _him_ about that one, but he wouldn't say anything."

"So, how do you know it was Regulus?" Sirius pressed.

"I remembered. When we were at the owlery, he said something to me and it just...clicked. He carried me from the shore."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would he help you?" Sirius frowned.

"And risk his mates' finding out." Remus pointed out. "I can't imagine that news going over very well with them."

"I think that's why Dumbledore wouldn't tell me. No one knows." inferred Lily.

"It still doesn't make sense." said Sirius in the sort of frustration that came with not understanding. "Reg had zero reason to help you."

"Maybe he felt bad?"

Sirius chortled, darkly. "Not likely."

"Look, it doesn't matter why he did it. All I know is that he's definitely the one who got me to Harding." Lily clasped her hands in her lap.

Sirius sat back in his own seat with a deep breath. "I don't like it. Something doesn't seem right."

"Just because he's a Slytherin doesn't make him a bad person." Peter attempted to encourage his friend.

"Like hell it doesn't!" shouted the long-haired wizard. "Besides, he's not _just_ a Slytherin. You know who he hangs out with! He was there by the library the first time they messed with Evans."

The carriage lurched to a stop.

"We're at the station." Remus looked out the window toward the short, dirt road that led to the small, single station.

"I have to go grab my stuff from Mary. She has my trunk." Lily stood up, awkwardly ambling over James. He didn't shift or attempt to move out of the way. "I'm sure I'll see you lot on the platform in London. Thanks for...listening." She gave a small nod to the group of boys and hopped out of the carriage, leaving the door swinging behind her.

…

He'd like to _avoid_ seeing her on the platform, thank you very much.

It was uncomfortable enough having to sit in a crowded carriage with her for twenty minutes. He didn't even want to consider a forced 'goodbye' encounter.

His goal was to get his stuff, find his parents, and get home. He'd see the lads within a week, no doubt, so he wasn't really even overly concerned with saying any sort of proper farewell to them. Just: get home.

"Just come home with us today and we can go get your stuff from the flat later this week," James urged Sirius as they rolled their trunks down the platform.

"I told you I'd be there by tomorrow, mate. I'd rather just go straight to the flat while we're here in London and apparate to you guys once I've got everything in order."

"Whatever. But you better at least come give Mum a kiss or I'll be fried. I don't think she technically believed me when I told her you were moving back in." James rubbed at the back of his neck.

Sirius chuckled. "Well, no worries, there, Prongs. The prodigal son has returned and all will be right in the Potter household, I assure you."

James pouted. "I'm still their favourite, just so we're clear. I have the _last name_. The _blood_."

"If you say so." Sirius grinned. " _Euphemia!_ " He dropped his trunk and took off into a full sprint at the sight of the small witch at the end of the platform. The older woman's slightly crooked grin spread to account for half her face as she wrapped her arms around the boy, swatting at his back when he lifted her off the ground.

"James Potter! Get over here and shorten his leash!" she cried over Sirius' shoulder, taking in her son's amused expression. James grinned, dragging both his and Sirius' trunks the rest of the way.

"Hi, Mum." he smiled affectionately as Sirius planted her back on her feet. Euphemia Potter wrapped her arms around her son's neck, pulling him down to her level and firmly planting a kiss on his cheek. "Where's Dad?"

Her grin faltered a bit as she gave James a knowing look. "Well, he was _going_ to come, but the Ministry-"

"Got it." James nodded, quickly.

" _James_ ," implored the witch. "You know how things are right now…"

"I know." he said, adjusting the small bag on his shoulder. "It's fine."

Sirius watched his friend with a knowing eyebrow.

"Well," Euphemia smiled once again, taking in the sight of her boys. "Let's get home, yeah?"

"Actually, Euphemia...I'm going to stay in London tonight and get everything-"

" _London_?" Mia cried. "No, you're not!"

Sirius' mouth clamped shut before he shook his head and muttered, "No, I'm not."

James went agape. "I spent the whole train ride trying to convince you!"

"You didn't ask nicely, Jamie." Sirius shrugged his shoulders, throwing an arm around Euphemia. "Are you making dinner tonight or did you commission the house elves because it's nothing against them, but I'd rather have a Potter classic, if I'm being honest."

James watched his mother and best mate walk away, leaving him with both trunks _again_. " _Oi!_ Come get your bloody trunk!" he cried after them. " _Padfoot!_ "

"Is he leaving?" a voice behind James made him jump.

 _So close._

"Er, yeah. He's coming home with me." James turned to face Lily, taking an internal breath.

Lily looked about as comfortable with the encounter as he did, but she offered a small smile at this. "Good. His flat is dodgy."

"You've been?" James' eyebrows raised in surprise.

"No," she shook her head. "Just from what he's told me."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The two teenagers stood awkwardly for a moment-James staring at the platform behind her, Lily staring at the tracks the Hogwarts Express had just departed to their side.

"Well, if you don't mind, could you tell him to send me a post once he gets to your house?" she finally asked, dropping her eyes to his feet. "I don't, er, have your address. And I don't have an owl now."

James softened a bit. "Yeah, of course. Sorry about that, by the way. Echo was her name, right?"

Lily looked up at him. "Yeah." she said slowly. "Echo."

"I remember her from transfiguration. Third year." he supplied, not wanting to sound like a total creep. "When she-"

Lily started laughing. "Oh my _God_. I forgot about that!"

"It was not so forgettable for Perry…" He snorted.

"Unfortunately, that is probably very true."

"I mean, it's not like you _told_ the bird to snatch his rat."

"McGonagall can say what she wants, but I _know_ that's the reason she took animal transfiguration practicals out of the curriculum for third years." Lily managed through her giggles.

"Lily!" a woman's voice called from behind the witch. James peeked his head around to note a woman who didn't look much older than Lily herself standing with Lily's trunk.

"My mum," Lily offered half a mile before turning around.

"We need to go, love!"

"She's pretty," James noted to Lily, giving a small wave to the woman in question.

"Yeah, she is," smiled Lily, looking affectionately over her shoulder again.

"Looks a lot like you."

Lily whipped her head back around, expecting a cheeky grin, but only seeing a genuine smile. And _those eyes_. "Thanks, Potter." she laughed, shaking her head.

"Hey, Evans, before you leave...I just wanted to-"

Lily held up a placating hand. "Consider it all forgotten."

"I...really?"

"The year's over," she shrugged. "Clean slate?"

He grinned, offering a handshake of peace. "Clean slate."

As Lily Evans had the tendency to do, she threw him for a real loop by ignoring his hand and wrapping her arms around his shoulders for a hug. His eyes bugged out for a second before he realised what was happening and moved his hands to follow suit at her back.

"See you in September, Potter." she smiled, a small tinge of pink in her cheeks as she pulled back.

"Later, Evans."

…

"This was definitely my worst idea."

"Oh, be quiet. I'm doing fine."

"Lily. I will be surprised if your trunk is still on top of the car when we park."

"Mum," Lily laughed, glancing at her mother. "I drove all of winter hols. I haven't forgotten in a few months!"

"Eyes on the road, _please_ , my love." Christine Evans gripped the handle of the door and took a deep breath.

"Almost home." Lily grinned, whipping around the last corner a bit rough on purpose.

" _Lily_."

"Sorry," the younger girl lied. She pulled in to the drive a bit fast, quickly approaching the garage, before she hit the brake with a jolt. Chuckling nervously, Lily pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Don't you dare get out of this car until you give me at least two minutes to regain my center of gravity." said Christine, through closed eyes.

"Your life must be so _boring_ when I'm not home."

"My life is _safe_ when you're not home, young lady."

Lily reached for the door again, but Christine's arm jerked across the console, grabbing her daughter's wrist. "I wouldn't be in such a rush to go inside if I were you…"

" _No_."

" _Yes_."

" _Mum_ , their getting married is supposed to get them _away_ from us." Lily whined, throwing the keys into the cupholder and falling back into the driver's seat.

"Well, they're not married yet," sighed Christine. "Though between me and you, I wish they'd elope and get it over with. I'm tired of my living room being covered in _tulle_."

" _Tulle?_ "

"Tulle. And it's _orange_ , Lily."

"God help us."

Christine stayed quiet for a moment before turning to her daughter. "I was disappointed to hear you won't be making it…"

Lily shifted, uncomfortably. "I...I told Mary I'd stay with her that week and I finally got the portkey approved. It's too far to apparate safely, not to mention-"

"Lily." her mother said with the sternness of a woman with two grown daughters. "Look at me and promise me that this isn't an excuse." Lily gulped. "I _know_ you two don't get along but she's your _sister_ and she's getting _married_. Do you really want to miss that?"

Lily stared at the house in front of her. "I'm sorry, Mum, but I really don't have a choice on this."

Christine studied her daughter for a moment before nodding. "Very well. I trust you."

Lily considered coming clean right then; telling her mother about the post Tuney had sent, practically demanding her not to make an appearance. But that would only cause _more_ drama and the last thing Lily wanted was to attend a wedding her mum forced her sister to invite her to in the first place.

"While on the subject of cute boys with glasses and great hair-"

Lily scoffed. " _When were we on-"_

" _I'd_ really like to know more about the young man on the platform." Christine smiled slyly, turning in the passenger seat to see her daughter better.

Lily remained facing forward. "There were lots of boys on the platform."

 _What on God's green Earth possessed her to_ hug _him?_

"Don't play coy with me," she poked her daughter's cheek. "You're blushing! Only good thing about marrying a ginger man is getting to have a ginger daughter. The pale skin is like a built-in lie detector!"

"I'm not _blushing_ and that was just James Potter." Lily pouted, touching her cheeks protectively.

Christine chortled unattractively, a trait Lily thanked God everyday she did not inherit. "Wait a second. _That_ was James Potter?"

"I want to go inside now." Lily reached for the car keys.

Her mother snatched them out of the cubbie first. "The James Potter I have heard shit about for six years? He looks like _that?_ "

Lily banged her head against the headrest. "Mum, I'd really love it if you didn't lust after my school mates."

"I expected him to have a third nostril or be bald, at the _least!_ "

"Mum. I want to go inside and drown in tulle and watch Vernon and Petunia snog naked on the couch."

Christine had dissolved into cackles now. "You _fancy_ him, Lily!"

Lily gaped at the mad woman sitting next to her. "You're completely mental. I leave for a few months and I come back to a deranged mother."

"That hug was sweet," Christine grinned through pursed lips, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.

"Mother, we're friends. I won't see him for months. Is hugging a crime?"

"You're _friends_ , now? Interesting. I thought you hated him."

"Well...I did. But he's...nicer now.'

"Nicer."

" _Besides_ ," Lily pressed, remembering that she had the upper hand here! "I'm dating someone else." And she hopped out of the car.

" _What?_ " Christine scrambled out of the car after her daughter, scurrying toward the front door.

Lily smiled contentedly. "Yep." She faltered. "Well, not _dating_ , per say, but-"

" _Why didn't I know about this?_ "

"Because you were too busy planning my wedding with Potter."

"Who is he?"

Lily laughed. "His name is Ben. He's a Ravenclaw-"

"The smart House!"

"Yes," the witch smiled, holding her hands out for the keys to unlock the door. "The smart House. He's a year older than me so he's done with Hogwarts. Off to be a healer."

"That's like a doctor, isn't it?" Christine followed her daughter into the house. "Does he have dark hair? Because if I die before seeing a dark-haired, green-eyed grandbaby, I swear to God I'll haunt you."

" _Mum_ ," Lily laughed in exasperation. "We've only been on one real date. I'm meeting him in London next weekend to go on a second one. It's not serious at all." She dropped her trunk in the entryway ("Lily, please take it to your room!") " _Tuney! I'm home!_ " She turned to grin at her mother, awaiting her sister's cry of disgust.

"Petunia?" Lily headed toward the kitchen, after finding the living room void of her sister (thought it was indeed not lacking in orange tulle). She stopped short when she saw the dining room table, her older sister hunched over it, shaking in sobs. "Tuney?"

Petunia lifted her head from her hands, revealing mascara streaks down her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. "Oh, good, _you're home_." she spat, not at all sounding like she meant it.

Lily refrained from engaging, too taken aback by her sister's appearance to take the bait of an argument thirty seconds into being home.

"Petunia, love," Christine stepped around her youngest daughter to address the girl at the table, "what's going on?"

"It's done. He left." the brunette managed, throwing her head back into her hands.

"What? Who left?" Mrs. Evans' eyebrows knit together as she put a hand on her eldest daughter's shoulder. "What happened, love?"

" _Vernon!_ " Petunia's head suddenly shot back up as she released a siren-like screech. "He broke up with me! The wedding's off and it's all _her fault_." She jutted a finger and a look of sourness toward Lily. " _I hate you_."

... 

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Would love your feedback, if you're feeling like giving it!**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


	29. Chapter 29

"This is the first time I've ever done this, y'know," Lily laughed, grabbing a chip from the plate in between her and Ben. She wouldn't necessarily call herself _nervous_ , per say, but giving her hand something to do still seemed easier than the alternative of looking directly at him.

"What?"

"Done something in the Muggle world with someone from school."

"Don't you ever get to see your mates during the summer?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But we always go to Diagon Alley. They say it's because it's the central-most place between us, but I think they just don't know how to exist without magic."

Ben laughed. "That sounds about right. I drag Luke and some of the other lads to London every once in a while, but it's like pulling teeth."

Being with Ben was easy. She was so used to loud, exuberant characters dominating her life, with Mary and Anna always on each arm and now Sirius opening his ridiculously loudmouth around her more often than he used to. Ben consistently spoke like he forgot other people were listening and Lily was rather charmed by his gentle humility. He was steady and safe and after the year she had had...steady and safe sounded _nice_.

Out of her reverie, Lily saw a nightmare tangibly walk into the restaurant. " _Oh my God_."

Ben looked up at Lily's startled outburst. "What?"

"Oh. My. God." Lily dropped her head low to the table, scrambling for a menu to hold in front of her face.

The dark-haired wizard looked around in confusion, trying to find the source of Lily's panic. "What is going- _oof_." He was cut off as Lily snatched her arm across the table and pulled his shoulder down to be level with the table.

"Black and Lupin are here." she hissed.

Ben's eyes widened. "Like...from school?"

"Yes, _from school_ ," she snapped, before recognising the irritation and offering an apologetic half-smile. "Sorry, I just... _what_ are they doing here?"

"Maybe they're just grabbing a bite?" Ben offered helplessly, acutely aware of Lily's sharp grip on his shoulder.

"Remember what I said about wizards being scared of Muggle stuff? Sirius Black is the _bloody personification_ of that statement." She groaned in frustration. "We have to leave."

"Leave," Ben echoed with a chuckle. "Lily, we just got our food…oh, you're...not kidding."

Lily gave a pained expression. Sirius had just finished talking with the server at the front of the restaurant and was scouring the dining room with a roaming gaze. "Ben. We _have_ to go."

"Lily." he said, a bit incredulous now. "What's the big deal? They're your friends, right?"

"They will ruin _everything_." she whined, moving the menu to fully conceal her face.

He pushed the menu back and poked her cheek affectionately. "I promise you that those two boys," he jutted his thumb over his shoulder, "will have absolutely no impact on _this_." He motioned between the two of them.

She felt her cheeks warm up and shoulders loosen.

"So, let's sit up like normal humans and eat our food, yeah?" he prompted with a cheeky smile.

With a pout, she sat up straight, still on alert out the corner of her eyes.

"So, tell me about your first week being back at home. Good? Bad? Terribly dull and unmagical?" he asked, desperately trying to find some sort of normalcy.

Lily laughed, nodding her head. "Yes, to all of the above." The tension in her muscles dissipated as she reached for a chip and dipped it in the tomato sauce. "My sister is getting married next week," she said around the fry in her mouth, "and she's become a bit of a bride-zilla."

"That sounds _fun_." he grimaced.

"Well, we've never really gotten along that well," Lily began to explain, but decided to leave it there so as not to...overwhelm him, "but her fiance is from the depths of Hell. And so our disagreements as of late have _escalated_." She grabbed for another chip. "Actually, the day I got home, he called the wedding off because she finally told him about me."

Ben frowned. "Like about…?"

"Yep," she nodded. "She's been dating him for three years, but I guess the fact that her only sister is a _witch_ never came up, so dropping the news a couple weeks before the wedding didn't go well and they got in a big fight."

"Geez."

"They worked it out the next day and everything is back on track now, but she hasn't really spoken to me since."

"Oh God, Lily. That _sucks_ , I'm so sorry."

Lily shrugged. "I'm used to it. I didn't mean to get all angsty on our second date, so I'm...sorry."

"Don't apologise," he was quick to jump in. "I have three sisters and I can't imagine any of them treating me like that, or vice versa."

"You have _three_ sisters?" she asked incredulously. "God, I can barely handle one without-"

"Ginge?"

Lily closed her eyes, hand hovering over the plate of chips. She took a deep breath, readying herself for the impending explosion. "Black," she managed through gritted teeth, not yet turning to look at him.

"What are the chances that I would see you here!" he cried cheerfully.

"Higher than you'd think." she hissed, more to herself than the boys around her.

"Wotcher, Soares!" Sirius added.

"Er, hey," Ben said slowly, with obvious discomfort.

"I am so sorry." Remus sighed from behind Sirius.

"So, what are you two kids up to on this fine Saturday?" Sirius smiled, jovially, kneeling down next to their table. Remus remained standing, a hand on his pained face.

"Just...eating." offered Ben.

"You know _very well_ what we're doing, Black, so if you'd kindly _piss off_ , we'd appreciate it." Lily jumped in, finally whipping her head around to glare at him.

Sirius feigned surprise at her outburst. "Evans, Evans! No need to get unfriendly now. Remus and I were just walking around-"

" _South London_?"

"And decided this place looked good, so we popped in for a quick bite."

"Black," Lil said slowly, her emerald eyes blazing, "kindly take your bullshit to another table."

Sirius went agape. "Remus," he cried in desperation turning around to address his mate, "can you think of anything we've done to provoke this sort of incivility from our dear friend, Miss Evans?"

"Yes." Remus supplied unhelpfully.

Sirius dropped his act for a moment to glare in disappointment at his sorry excuse for an accomplice before turning back to Lily and Ben's table. "Oh! Lily, your drink is gone!"

"Okay?"

"You need a refreshment."

"I'm sure the server will be around," she said in suspicion.

"No, they're rather busy today. You should probably just go up and take care of it yourself."

"I'm fine, actu-"

"Soares," Sirius turned with a plastered smile to the Ravenclaw, "would you mind taking this," he grabbed Lily's glass, "and getting her a refill?"

"Er," Ben fumbled, awkwardly holding the glass.

" _Sirius_. Go _away_. I'm not messing around!"

"Please, Soares? She seems rather parched." Sirius ignored the redhead's demand and kept his diplomatic smile on Ben.

"O- _kay_ ," the Ravenclaw stood from the booth and headed toward the bar.

"Sirius Black, you absolute son-of-a-"

"Save it, Ginge," Sirius held up a placating hand, sliding into Ben's place in the booth. He patted the seat next to him and Remus begrudgingly joined. "So how are ya?"

Lily just stared at the boys. "You have ten seconds to tell me what's going on or I will make sure _neither_ of you can procreate and fill this planet with more monsters. I have my wand in my purse and your boys are in perfect firing range from under this table."

"Er, right," Sirius' charismatic countenance faltered a little, only because he knew Lily well enough to know how legitimate these threats were.

"Ten, nine, eight-"

"Sirius was bored." offered Remus.

The long-haired wizard turned to his friend, looking betrayed. "All right, when I said _do you want to come along and torment Evans_ , I didn't intend for you to come along and be a _pain in my ass_."

"You asked if I wanted to come help you clean out your flat and I said no. You promised we would stop at the cinema after and I agreed. That was the entire discussion."

"Remus, you're an angel and I'm sorry you're stuck with shit mates." Lily reached across the table and squeezed the wizard's hand.

"Unfortunately, you weaseled your way into mutual friendship with this particular shit mate." he sighed in apology.

" _All right_ , we all hate Sirius, he's the worst, got it." snapped the other wizard.

Lily looked beyond Sirius to see a barmaid finally talking to Ben. "Is there a purpose to your being here because Ben will be back soon and I'd rather not hex you in the middle of our date."

"Just wanted to check and see how the date was going," Sirius grinned.

"He does this to all of us," Remus sighed, leaning his head back against the wooden booth.

"Well I am not _one of you_ , so bugger off."

"Not one of us?" Sirius' frustratingly perfect grin grew as he leaned closer to Lily across the table. "Oh, Ginge. Sweet, naive Ginge."

"You befriended him without our knowing or we would have warned you, see," Remus gave a sad smile. "It was too late by the time we knew."

"To be fair, Evans, _you_ chose to tell me when and where this date was happening." Sirius shrugged, grabbing a chip. "I thought you _wanted_ me to come say hi."

" _Black_. I told you when and where it was happening because we were still friends at that point in time and friends communicate random bits of information to each other on occasion. _Not_ so they can create a diabolical plan to ruin the others' life." Lily spat, tired of this. "Get out of _my date's_ seat. _Now_."

"It's probably a good sign that she's calling him 'her date,' right? Means it's going well?" Sirius looked toward Remus, but his friend was already headed for the door. "Remus!" he scoffed, before turning back to Lily. "Fine, I'll go." He grabbed another chip and stood from the seat. "I'll write you tomorrow to figure out a time for you to come over next week."

"Come over," Lily echoed with a scrunch of her nose. "I don't particularly want to see you in the near future after this run-in, thank you very much."

"Well, you'll have a week to get over it." He tugged the zipper of the leather jacket he really shouldn't be wearing during June in London and backed away from the table. "We've got a wedding to crash." And with one last grin, he was out the door.

…

"You don't even have any boxes." James frowned, opening the front door for his mates.

"Yeah, we had a change of plans." Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"We didn't ever even go to his flat." Remus said with disinterest as he walked past the other two boys and dropped onto the couch, using his feet to kick his shoes off.

"What do you mean?" asked James following Remus into the large living area. "Why didn't you just stay here then? I've been bored all day!"

"You could have come." said Sirius.

"You specifically said I couldn't actually." James reminded his mate with a sour expression, falling into an oversized armchair.

"Huh, that's interesting," mused Remus, reclining across the couch with his arms behind his back. "Why would you say something like that, Padfoot?"

"Budge over," Sirius frowned at the outstretched werewolf, shoving his feet off the couch to make room for himself. "I don't recall saying anything like that. You must have misheard me."

"You said you were going to the cinema, which I've _never been to and been wanting to go to for years_ , and you said I couldn't." pressed James. "Don't think I'd forget that."

"Well, it's probably because I didn't think you'd like the film we saw."

"What film?"

"We didn't make it to the cinema, either." Remus piped up with a content smile.

"What the bloody hell did you do all day?" James cried, thinking of the hours he spent sitting in that chair alone all day, staring at the ceiling.

Sirius looked to Remus with defeat, nodding toward the sandy-haired wizard, giving his reluctant resignation to what he knew Remus would say next.

"Just walked around London," Remus shrugged, not opening his eyes. Sirius blinked in surprise, but said nothing to contrast.

…

"You don't have to yell for me to hear you, Mary." Lily sighed into the phone receiver for the fifth time in the last half hour. "Just speak normally."

"This is ridiculous. I don't even know why Mum got one of these Muggle contraptions. Why can't I just write you?"

"Because you live in bloody Scotland and I wanted you to hear this before _next week_. Besides I don't have an owl, anymore, remember?"

"Oh, right," Mary mumbled, finally at a normal volume. "Well, go on then! Tell me how it went!" She was back to screaming.

As long as Lily and Mary had been friends, the girl had never quite bought into the Muggle way of life. Not because she had anything against Muggles as a whole or anything of that sort, but merely because Mary was a woman of comfort. She had lived her entire life knowing she was a witch and didn't see much point in pretending she was anything but. No matter how many times Lily tried to educate her friend on the benefits of mass production and modern medicine - because, crazy enough, a Pepper-Up Potion actually _wasn't_ a panacea, as the wizarding world liked to believe.

Lily grimaced, holding the receiver away from her ear. "We met in London and grabbed lunch at the Tradition. It was good and normal until...well until Black and Lupin showed up."

Mary squealed. " _What?_ "

"Yeah," Lily leaned her head against the wall with the phone, closing her eyes as she remembered the events of the day.

"Well, I'm sure that was completely uncomplicated."

Lily scoffed. "Oh, of course, everything is always smooth sailing with those boys."

"Where were Potter and Pettigrew?"

"I didn't spend a ton of time asking about their holiday, Mary. I was rather busy being in the middle of a _date_."

"Right, right, the date. Go on!"

"Well, it was bloody awful. Not the whole date, mind you, but...why did they have to show up? Didn't even have a purpose. Just wanted to _chat_. Not Remus, of course, the sweetheart."

Mary snorted. "Remus Lupin is a wolf in sheep's clothing, Lovely. That boy is single-handedly responsible for my missing knickers in fourth year and I won't hear any of your sappy shit about that mongrel."

Lily coughed a bit at her friend's choice of metaphor, but managed to contort it into a laugh. "Remus Lupin did not take your _knickers_ , Mary. We've said a million times that the house-elves merely lost a load of your laundry."

"I didn't send a load of _just knickers_. They were nicked from my drawer, Lily Evans. And Lupin is the prick who did it."

"Nicked your knickers," Lily giggled fiendishly.

" _Continue_."

"Ah, yes," Lily cleared her throat. "Well, after I got rid of the boys and we finished lunch, we went over to St. James Park and walked around for a bit." Lily dropped her voice a bit, knowing that her mum would love any opportunity to eavesdrop on the subject of her youngest daughter's romantic dealings. "And, er, he kissed me."

"LILY!" What had already been a deafening yell became a shattering scream.

"Mary! MY EAR."

"Sorry," she squeaked. "I'm just so proud of you!"

"Proud?" Lily laughed. "I wouldn't call it an _accomplishment_ so much as something that just happened."

" _Just happened?_ " squealed Mary. " _Just happened_ is you getting perfect marks in Potions six years in a row. _Lily Evans getting kissed_ is cause for _getting smashed._ "

Lily shook her head, smiling all the while. "You're ridiculous."

"How was it?"

"It was...good? I guess? I don't know, Mary, I don't have much to compare it to and I feel strange vocalising the details of physical intimacy…"

"Physical intimacy? Oh, Lovely, you are so pure I could shed a tear thinking about it." She released another small squeal. "Oh, I can't wait to tell Anna. She'll be here tomorrow afternoon, I think. What day are you getting here again?"

"Well, that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about…"

" _Lily_ ," Mary whined. "Please don't bail. I thought you got the portkey approved before we left Hogwarts!"

"I did," Lily sighed, pulling on the cord of the phone to try and stretch to the chair. "And I'm not bailing, not yet. I just...don't know."

"Why?"

"Well, my sister's wedding."

"Oh, don't tell me you're seriously considering going to that! Lily, she's made it very clear how she feels about you. Don't put yourself through that! It's not worth it, love."

"I know," groaned Lily, leaning against the arm of the chair and keeping her eyes on alert for any potential sign that the Monster, herself, was nearby. "But it's my _sister_."

"My sibling doesn't do half the shit she does to you and I still hate him sometimes," Mary pointed out. "But that's beside the point. Your sister is a menace. Be _glad_ she doesn't want you there."

"I haven't completely decided yet."

"All right, all right" Mary sighed in understanding, albeit impatient. "I'm not trying to push you one way or the other, but just...let me know."

Lily fumbled with the parchment in her hand as she listened to Mary update her on her holiday thus far. She should go to Mary's house in Aberdeen. The girls had been trying to plan a trip up north since first year, but could never quite work out the details. Finally, Anna, Mary, and Lily had sat down and figured out a time that worked for all three of them and made arrangements to make it actually happen.

 _Ginge_ ,

 _Meet at the Potters' house on Saturday afternoon at 4. Address is on the back of this parchment. Bring a dress because none of Prongs' will fit you._

 _Padfoot_

"Anyway, call me on this thing tomorrow when you decide because there's _no bloody way_ I'll be able to figure out how to call _you_."

Lily laughed. "All right, Mary. Love you, bye."

"Bye, Lovely!"

Lily put the phone back on the hook and flipped the parchment from Sirius over. Even _if_ she decided Sirius' wedding crashing idea was a potential, the idea of going over to Potter's house sounded terrifying. She meant what she said on the platform to James about forgetting...recent events, but it didn't mean she wanted to go hang out at his _house_.

Still, Lily had to be honest with herself and admit to finding a certain joy in Sirius signing the post with _Padfoot_. She thought back to her lunch with Ben earlier and how Remus had called her one of them. Was that true? And, if so, when had that happened?

And why the _hell_ did that make her feel warm and fuzzy as opposed to nauseated and volatile?

…

"I still think you should tell Moony."

"There's nothing to tell," James insisted, swinging off of his broom with ease. "It wasn't a for-sure thing when Dumbeldore talked to me and I'm sure he's come to his senses by now."

"Minnie talked to you about it, too, mate. She would say something if it wasn't for-sure." Sirius shrugged, shouldering his own broom, before pointing at his friend. "You're just in denial."

"I'm not in _denial_." James dropped his broom to the ground, struggling to wrestle the quaffle into the birch box the boys had dragged out to the field. "I just don't see a reason to cause a problem that doesn't need to be caused."

"He's not gonna be mad, you know. It's _Moony_. He'll take the mickey from you, sure, but I already have bagsy on that anyway, so he can get in queue, thank you very much."

James closed the box, dropping to the ground in exhaustion. "If the old man follows through on his barminess and actually sends me the badge, I'll tell him."

"That's a stupid idea," Sirius joined James on the grass. "But I'll leave you to fall on that sword yourself." His hand travelled to the back of his bed. "Be honest. Does it look awful?"

"Sirius, if you ask my opinion on your hair one more time, I'm going to start getting the wrong idea." James sighed, not sparing the requested glance at his friend's hair.

"Shut up, you tosser. I'm not joking here. I feel like it was too much. I just asked for a trim and-"

"And Mr. Kennytubber went mad. I know, mate. You've told me twenty times."

"Six inches is beyond _mad_ , Prongs! I don't even look like me."

"You're the one who told him to go ahead and make it a clean cut!"

"Yeah," insisted Sirius, "because leaving it right past my ears would have made me look like _Snivellus_."

"Fair point." conceded James. "This is the last time I'm commenting on the subject, but your hair looks great, okay? While I am _obviously_ the more universally handsome between the two of us, if I was under veritaserum, I would maybe probably most likely say...that you have the better hair right now."

Sirius grinned. "You're too good to me, Jamesy."

"Don't I know it," snorted James.

The newly-short-haired wizard rubbed at his left arm. "Merlin, I'm out of shape. A couple hours back on the broom and my beating arm is a limp noodle."

The other wizard chuckled. "You better toughen it up. Trials are the first week back."

Sirius gaped at his friend. "You're joking."

"I'm not," James grinned self-satisfyingly.

" _Prongs,_ you can't bloody make me _try out_. I've been on the team since third year!"

"Yeah, well, you _quit_. I've gotta be fair to everyone." he laid back on the grass with his hands behind his head.

"You _wanker_ ," Sirius shoved the other teen incredulously. "You practically forced me to quit and you _know it_."

James held his arms over his face in defense, but was laughing. "I didn't! You only quit to be dramatic."

"I quit so you would stop having the whole team direct their bludgers at _me_ during practise!"

"Well, you _are_ the beater. I was simply conditioning you."

" _Conditioning me_?" Sirius scoffed with another shove. "I was _a_ beater, not _the_ beater and poor Brodeur was growing _grey_ hovering up in the air without any action while my blood dripped to the ground below under your fire."

" _Dramatic_ ," James sung, hopping up and walking toward the house.

"I swear to Merlin, James," Sirius scrambled after his friend in a huff. "If you make me try-out with all the stupid firsties, I will send a bludger to your head during the first game, even if we're playing _Slytherin_."

James jolted to a stop, turning to look at his friend with a gape. "You _wouldn't_."

Of course he wouldn't, but it felt good to have the upper hand.

…

"Tuney?"

"Out here!" came the shrill reply from the back porch.

Lily took a deep breath and pushed open the screen door. "I made lime cordial. Do you want some?"

Her sister looked up from her book in surprise, but responded with a small smile. "Thanks."

Lily took her chances of this being as good a moment as any and dropped into the seat next to Petunia, setting both glasses of cordial between them. The weather was _perfect_ , the exact sort of day the two girls would have spent in the treehouse from sun-up to sundown when they were little.

"Mum went to the store, but should be back in an hour."

Petunia just nodded, returning to her book.

"Is Vernon coming over for dinner?"

"Not tonight." She didn't look up.

Lily withheld her exclamation of glee and took in the picture of the midlands of England that the Evans' backyard provided. Cokeworth was not a picturesque town, by any means. Most of the houses were identical in nature: black and dull. Not the Evanses, though.

When Lily's parents had moved to Cokeworth as newlyweds, Charlie Evans had insisted that their house be _different_. He spent weeks painting the outside a sunny yellow, and accenting the chimney and window shutters a deep blue. Mr. Evans always told his girls that their house was a sunny June amongst grey Januarys.

"Did you need something?" Petunia's head popped up. She didn't say anything explicitly rude, but her dismissing tone convinced Lily she had to act fast.

"No, I just thought I'd enjoy the fresh air with you for a bit."

"Oh," she seemed caught off guard by this. "It is a nice day."

"Nice?" Lily lifted an eyebrow. "We used to pull each others' pigtails to be the first out of the house on days like this."

Petunia smiled more freely, setting her book down. "As if you took the time to ever do your hair. We were lucky if you ran out of the house fully _clothed_."

"I was eager," Lily shrugged with a grin.

"You were _insane_." Petunia primly pushed a curl out of her eyes, taking in the backyard that had bared witness to so many Evans girls outings. "I never understood how you could climb that treehouse so fast."

"Well, it may be too late for this little trick, but...not wearing a dress was a great place to start."

" _Hey_ ," Petunia giggled. "Mum _made_ those dresses. She made them for you, too, y'know...you just never _wore_ them."

"So _constricting_." Lily scrunched her nose.

"I still think Mum had you with the milkman." Petunia regarded her sister with her usual disdain, but there was a teasing warmth to it that rarely took residence on the eldest Evans girl's face.

"I talked to Mum." Lily started, silently praying for bravery. "About the wedding."

Tuney tensed up, immediately. "You didn't-"

"I didn't tell her about your letter." Lily shook her head.

Petunia's shoulders dropped in relief.

"But she was pretty upset. And it just made me wonder-"

"Lily."

"What if I did come?"

" _Lily_."

"I'd be quiet as a mouse. I'll even sit on the back row! I swear. No magic...I'll leave my wand at home! I just-"

" _Lily!_ " Petunia snapped, sharply. "I'll not be having a freak ruin the most important moment of my life."

And there it was.

 _Freak._

It was such a simple insult. Juvenile, really. But it still stung as much as it did when they were little. And, if she was being honest, it stung a hell of a lot more than _mudblood_.

"Just thought I'd ask." She tried not to let the door slam too loudly behind her.

…

The Potter Manor was rightly named.

Fleamont and Euphemia would have rather died than _name their house,_ but it was inherited by Fleamont's parents and erasing the name of a house that had been in high wizarding society for generations was easier said than done.

Being alone in a home as large as the Potters' was a nightmare for someone with as strong a desire for attention as James. He hadn't seen his mum since the day she picked him up from King's Cross and hadn't seen his dad since their rendezvous on Hogwarts grounds to handle Rosier (and save James' arse).

It didn't surprise him, but it did upset him.

"Aren't you done in there?" James called from his place lounged on the couch. "You've been in there for _hours_ and I'm _bored_."

"I'm _working_ , Prongs." was the dry response he was thrown from the kitchen.

James frowned grumpily, grabbing for a magazine on the coffee table. He'd read each of them enough to memorise them over the past week of being home, but what else was he supposed to do? Remus was spending time with his parents, Peter was on holiday in Switzerland, and Sirius was _baking_.

A knock at the front door pulled his head from the depths of _Transfiguration Today_.

"Were we expecting someone?" He was met with silence. "Padfoot!" He sat up and looked toward the kitchen, but could only hear various pots and pans clanging. "Someone just knocked!" With a sigh, he pushed off of the couch and shuffled toward the door.

With a flick of his wand, he countered the locking charms and opened one of the large oak doors.

"Oh, hi. Sorry I'm a little early, but I was worried that I wouldn't get the address-"

"Hang on just a minute." James smiled forcefully before slamming the door in her face. " _Sirius_."

"Yes?" his muffled voice came from the kitchen.

" _Why is Lily Evans on my doorstep?_ " he hiss-yelled through the house.

"She's early."

" _Padfoot_."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he hummed, strolling into the entryway from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a tea towel. "You just left her outside?"

" _What is she doing here?_ "

"That's not very polite, Prongs," he admonished his friend, stepping past him and throwing the towel over his shoulder as he opened both of the large doors. "Ginge!"

The witch turned around, obviously being jarred from a serious consideration of whether or not to leave. "Hey." she said, awkwardly, looking caught. Before, " _Oh my God_ , your hair."

"You look good, Evans. Come on in," Sirius stepped to the side, allowing her to pass through. James was still hovering uncomfortably behind his friend.

"Oh. Er, hi again."

"Hi." offered James. "Sorry I slammed the door in your face."

She nodded in forgiveness looking back to Sirius quickly. "Black, what _happened_?"

"Just time for a change."

"I can't believe you're so calm about this. Your hair is _gone_."

"It's not _gone_ , Ginge, it's just _shorter_." He reached for the ends of his hair, self-consciously.

"This is insane. I don't…" Lily blinked. "You look like _him_." She didn't mention a name or glance his way, but it was clear who she meant.

"If anything, Prongs looks like _me,_ but he _really_ doesn't need that ego boost, so keep your thoughts to yourself."

Lily shook her head, eager to get off the subject of the boy hovering to the side. "Are you...ready?" she asked, scrunching her nose as she took in Sirius' flour-covered appearance.

"Oh," he grimaced, looking down at his clothes, but not seeming overly apologetic, "I still need to change. It won't take me long!" He tossed the tea towel onto the antique table in the entryway and began to walk toward the stairs. "Just hang tight in here and I'll be down in a few."

"Sirius, I-"

"Prongs, get her some water or something. Don't just stand there." he sighed airily, disappearing up the steps.

James bristled after his friend, planning all the ways he would kill him later, before he finally turned to Lily. "Do you...want some...water?"

"I'm good," she shook her head, clasping her hands together in discomfort. "Thanks, though."

"Okay," he swallowed, trying not to make it obvious how _incredible_ she looked in her dress. "Well, do you want to come in? And er, sit down on a chair?"

Lily's lips twitched as she looked up at the boy in front of her. A flicker of amusement danced in her eyes. "Sitting down...on a chair...would be good, yeah."

He cleared his throat and nodded before leading the way into the living room. Out the corner of his eyes, he saw her taking in her surroundings in awe. Once upon a time, James Potter would have _relished_ knowing that Lily Evans was impressed by the scale of his house, but now it just made him feel...weird.

She sat in the oversized armchair that was usually reserved for his dad (when he was _home_ ), smoothing out her dress for longer than was probably necessary, but James recognised the habit as what it was: an attempt to busy herself with something to feel less like being buried alive.

"Your dress is pretty." he offered, immediately regretting it.

He meant it, of course. Her dress _was_ pretty. _She_ was pretty. And even that was a horrific understatement, but realising a simple truth such as _Lily Evans is the most beautiful girl in the world_ and telling it to her face are two different things.

"Thanks, my mum made it." Her eyes stayed trained on her lap, but she didn't make a move to scream or run away, so that was probably a good sign.

"I can't even make a paper aeroplane with my hands, so...that's impressive."

A smile tugged at her lips. "Crazy how Muggles still manage to function without magic, hm?"

He grinned fully. "I mean, magic doesn't make pizza...Muggles do. So I'm not entirely sold on the idea of magic being the desired lifestyle."

"Pizza is not exclusively Muggle-made, Potter," she laughed, openly this time. " _You_ can make a pizza, too."

"Um, no, I _can't_ ," he shook his head vigorously. "Mum makes me help her with Christmas biscuits every year and I find a new way to botch it up every damn time." His eyes lit up. " _Speaking of_ …" He hopped up from the couch he had been sitting on.

Lily raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

"Padfoot's been baking all afternoon. I'm not sure what he's got going on in there, but it smells like cinnamon."

"What are we sitting in here for?! Go, go, go!" she jumped up from her seat and followed James to the kitchen. He thanked Merlin and Sirius Black for providing an excuse to get out of the suffocating living room. "Oh my _God_ , Potter."

"What?" he asked, turning quickly to see what had happened, only to be met by Lily's frozen frame.

"This isn't a kitchen." she blinked owlishly, looking around the room. "This is...God, I don't even _know_ what this is."

James didn't reply, instead walking across the (admittedly large) room toward the cooling racks. The best thing that ever happened to James was Sirius spending his first summer at the Potter's learning how to bake. Growing up at Grimmauld Place, the wizard had never been allowed to step foot in the kitchen, much less actually use anything. The house elves did _everything_.

The Potters had house elves, too, but they were employed, not enslaved.

" _Oh my God_." Lily repeated, this time at James' side. "How many did he _make_?"

James laughed, grabbing for a hobnob. "He does this about once a week. Gets bored so he comes in here and makes five or six dozen biscuits and normally a couple pans of brownies."

"Why?" she asked incredulously, helping herself to a tea biscuit. "There's no way all this gets eaten."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," James popped the rest of the biscuit into his mouth, pushing himself up onto the countertop. "Moony and Wormtail come by just about every week at some point and my mum _loves_ sweets."

"All right, I have to ask," Lily struggled a bit more to get on top of the counter but she managed it. "The nicknames."

James nodded. "They correspond to-"

"Your Animagi, I know. But...you use them so flippantly. Don't you ever get worried that someone will...catch on?"

He paused, thinking about this for a second. "Honestly...no."

"That seems like oversight."

"Did _you_ figure it out?" he threw back at her. "Before Remus told you, did you connect the dots and figure out he was a werewolf and we were unregistered Animagi based on some weird nicknames?"

"Well...no."

"Then, we're safe," he shrugged. "You're easily the cleverest student at Hogwarts, so if we passed you, we're good."

Lily blinked, taken aback by the James Potter brazen bluntness.

People had told her she was clever her entire life but hearing it from Potter just felt...different. He _meant_ it and she _felt_ it.

"So, I'm sure there's a reason Padfoot has left me out of the loop," he moved on to the next subject, hopping off the counter and heading toward the fridge, "but I've gotta ask...what exactly is going on?"

"What?"

"The dress." he motioned toward her as he pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge. "Coming over here. What...where are you guys going?"

"He didn't tell you?" she frowned. "My sister's getting married tonight."

He set the milk on the counter top with a start. "You're taking...him?"

Lily sighed, humorously. "Well, it's more like he's taking me, honestly. I was...uninvited."

"And Sirius was _invited_?"

"Well, _no_ ," she chuckled. "But, he convinced me I should make an appearance anyway."

"Sounds like him," James nodded, still trying to understand the situation. "But what about, er, Soares? Aren't you two...a thing?" He gave himself a mental pat on the back for almost sounding kind of normal.

"Oh," Lily's face immediately filled with colour. James _hated_ that. And he also noticed that she didn't answer the question. "I just thought this would be more of a _Sirius_ scene."

"You thought a _wedding_ would be a _Sirius scene_?" James snorted. "Oh, Evans, you poor thing."

"It won't be that bad," she admonished, rolling her eyes.

"Have you been to a wedding with him before?" James raised an eyebrow, leaning against the fridge and drinking his glass of milk.

" _No._ "

James grinned, cheekily. "Well, then, have fun." He raised his glass in a toast. "He'll be completely pissed within an hour, swear to Merlin."

"He can't be _that_ bad," Lily popped another small biscuit into her mouth. "And it's not like I haven't dealt with drunk Sirius before."

James cackled. "Yeah, but _docking house points_ is not the same thing as _stopping him from snogging your cousin who just happens to be the bride._ "

"Well, it's a good thing the bride isn't my cousin, then," she said, haughtily.

"Yeah, her being your sister makes it _so much better_."

"He wouldn't dare." She kept her arms crossed and her chin up, but there was a small waver to her voice that revealed her doubts.

On cue, Sirius slid into the kitchen, sporting a well-tailored, classic, black Muggle suit. "Does this wedding have an open bar, Ginge?"

Lily and James made eye contact across the kitchen and burst out laughing, James having to set his milk glass on the countertop to stay upright.

Sirius looked between the two teenagers in suspicion. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Lily giggled, hopping off the counter and walking toward Sirius. "Your biscuits are good."

He looked like he wanted to keep arguing, but his mouth twitched in pride. "Obviously."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Let's get going."

...

 **A/N: Kinda hurt my heart to contrast Lily & Petunia's sibling moment to James & Sirius', but I gotta do what I gotta do. Nex chapter is where the fun begins :)**

 **xoxo**

 **Abi**


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